By Dan'yu
"I tired of you."
"I don't need you anymore."
The echo of her own words echoed through Rin's head like a tired mantra that refused to be deafened. Inside, she desperately fought against each new wave of shame and despair every repeat of those words brought to her. In her grief, it was hard to see her resolve, the rationality and reasoning she had forced herself to recognize as she broke the heart of the one person who made her feel whole, made her feel loved.
Looking up to see the object of both her turmoil and her affections standing casually in the doorway, she let an irritated frown take the place of her mask, ignoring the protests of her jumping heart. "What are you doing here, Haru?"
Leaning against the doorway, his eyes holding that sleepy look that could be so misleading, he shrugged nonchantantly. "I came to see how you were doing, Rin. Is that a crime?"
Holding back a biting remark, she settled for glaring daggers into his back. Love or not, he did have a way of getting under her skin. He walked the rest of the way into the room, stopping to examine the flowers at the table in the corner. Hiro had left them on his last visit, she remembered vaguely. Despite the bravado the young boy put forward, he really was kind-hearted under it all, and it was nice to know he was concerned for her.
Frustrated by the carefree fashion her ex-boyfriend light-footed around her hospital room, Rin fell back on one of her specialties, getting to the point. "Why are you here, Hatsuharu? I told you last time I didn't want to see you anymore."
That's not true. It's the farthest from the truth……His back stiffened, not at her cold and brusque tone, but at her use of his full name. It was said with such an air of detachment, of unfamiliarity, as if they were strangers. He glanced over his shoulder, immediately pinning her down with his intense gray eyes. "You're lying through your teeth, love. Your nostrils always flare just a little when you lie."
Mortified, she quickly raised a hand to cover her nose, and then instantly let it fall back against the bedsheets. What on earth was she doing? She was no child to fall so easily to his teasing.
"I have no idea what you're talking about. And don't call me that. I'm not your 'love'."
"You don't think, so?" he said softly, fixating his haunting gaze on her once more, "How many times have I told you so, Rin? When you cried when we were kids, when I held you, when I kissed you, when we lay together after we made love? What will it take to make you believe it?"
The whisper of pain behind the serenity and seriousness of his expression was enough to send daggers through her heart, but she knew she was about to break his even more.
"I don't have the time or the patience for your sentimental garbage, Haru."
You've always been so caring, Haru. Even when I far from deserved it…"Haven't I told you before? I don't want to see you anymore. I'm tired of you always hanging around."
You're everything, Haru…"I don't have time to play games with little boys."
Break the ties that bind us. Drive it in so deep, he'll want nothing more to do with me. If he comes to hate me, so be it……
Break his heart…
I love you, Haru…
Long ago, it had been Haru who had saved her from herself, who had cast a single light in her world that had outshined the darkness.
It was Haru who had asked the unthinkable, to be with her in a way that defied everything they had ever been taught, who had asked for nothing more than her love.
It was Haru who loved her so desperately and selflessly.
It was Haru who was unlike any other man she had ever known.
But it was Haru Akito had threatened when the clan head discovered their relationship, Haru she had protected by taking the punishment that had landed her in the hospital.
It was for Haru that she did everything, to save him from the curse, Akito, the family, and herself.
To protect him, she had to hurt him. It was the only solution she could see.
And it was Haru who said nothing, staring at her with sad, understanding eyes, as she effectively shattered his heart yet again. It was Haru who would haunt her, even when he was gone.