Still no one reads this fic? Bah. . .I LAY A CURSE ON YOU! Anyhoo, I GOT A FANART CENTRAL ACCOUNT! YEY! AND there's a picture of Rekki and such on there for the five or so people who read this! It's at http/www. fanartcentral. net/ user-WrathofRaksheen.php Just get rid of the spaces and add those underscore thingsin between "Wrath of Raksheen"! OR search "Wrath of Raksheen" on the site's search engine! Or Rekki. . .
Sunshine- SHUDDUP! No one wants to see your art! IT SUCKS!
Me- Why don't you go jump off a cliff? Or better yet, how 'bout I throw you off one? (grabs Sunshine)
Sunshine- NO! WAIT! STOP! I'LL BEHAVE!
Me- Good. . .NOW DO THE DISCLAIMER!
Sunshine- No. . .
Me- HUH? WHAT WAS THAT? SOUNDED LIKE MISBEHAVING!
Sunshine- (growls) She does not own Invader Zim, God dammit!
Me- ALRIGHT! LET'S START TYPING! (cracks knuckles) OW! PAIN!
"Rekki's Day Out"
It was morning. Rekki was sitting lazily on the couch, munching on a bag of Irken cheese puffs. Zeer was reading beside her, and Gir was in the kitchen cooking. . .MUFFINS! Suddenly, Gir rushed out of the kitchen with a spoon in hand. Some muffin mix was on it. He giggled and ran up to Rekki, shoving it in her face.
"Taste it! TAAAAAASTE IT!" Gir squealed.
"NO, DAMMIT! GET IT OUT OF MY FACE!" Rekki yelped, pushing it away. Gir frowned and his eyes watered.
Rekki rolled her eyes. "God dammit! STOP DOING THAT! I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOUR (beeping) GOOP! SO GET LOST!"
"Okie dokie!" Gir squealed, in a sudden change of attitude. He rushed back into the kitchen to make his muffins of muffiny goodness. Zeer shook his head at the green pup.The poor, little Sir issurrounded by idiots. . .
A flushing noise suddenly was heard and Zim appeared in the room.
He narrowed his eyes at Rekki. "I must go to the filthy human Skool now!"
"School? Why the Hell are you going to a human School?" questioned Rekki.
"It is a custom of human smeets, and I must blend in with humans if I am to achieve the goal of my mission!" Zim hissed.
"Heh heh. . .So you have to pretend to be a smeet, huh? Figures. . .'cause you're so damn short!" Rekki said, erupting into a fit of laughter. Gir, still in the kitchen, joined the laughter as well. Zim glared and gritted his teeth, furious. Rekki hit a sensitive spot there! (Poor lil' Zim. . .)
"SILENCE! OR I SHALL RIP YOU HEAD OF FOOLISHNESS OFF!" Zim shrieked. Rekki quieted down.
"Aw, calm down, you asshole! It's the truth!" Rekki said, standing up to prove her point. She stood a good two feet above him.
"No. . .It isn't!" Zim snarled, still seething with fury.
Rekki rolled her eyes and say back down. "Whatever you say, bud. . ."
"Anyway, I had something of great importance to say before you interrupted me with you mindless jokes!" said Zim, sounding all important.
"Go on. . ."
"While I am gone, BEHAVE! I do not want you attracting attention to the base! And you may only leave the house if absolutely necessary! And when you do, WEAR YOUR DISGUISE!" Zim instructed, "Oh, and DO NOT go into my lab! OR talk to any large headed child with glasses! THAT IS ALL!"
"You're treating me like you (beeping) own me, dammit! NO ONE OWNS ME! I'M A REBEL, MAN!" Rekki shouted.
"Well, when you stay in MY base, you go by MY rules, understand. . .Uh. . ." Zim started, not recalling her name.
"Rekki."
"Yes, yes. . .Rekki." Zim hissed, "Now I must be off to the horrid Skool!" With that said and done, Zim marched out of the house to the sidewalk. Rekki stood in the open doorway, eating her cheese puffs. Zim began to walk away, worrying about the whole ordeal, when he heard a shout. He turned around to find Rekki yelling. . .At a squirrel. . .
"GIMME BACK MY CHEESE PUFF, YOU (beeping) SQUIRREL!" Rekki shouted at a furry little squirrel that sat on the ground, clutching a cheese puff.
"CHIRRIP! CHIR CHIR!" the squirrel squeaked back. That translates to "NO! (beep) YOU!" Zim looked at the two blankly. Then, suddenly, an explosionhe heard an explosion from INSIDE the house. Gir flies through the air, the explosion catapulted him from the house, and is screaming "YAAAAAAAY! MY MUFFINS ARE DONE!". He then skids across the pavement, slamming into a parked car.
Zim fearfully looked at the scene, and decided it was best to leave it alone. He walked away with a quickened pace, hearing a triumphant shout from Rekki, as she must have gotten her precious cheese puff back. He was thinking that letting her stay was a bad idea. . .Well, he had thought that in the beginning, but now it was seeming even worse. . .
"So. . .(beeping). . .bored. . ." Rekki muttered. It had only been an hour and a half since Zim had left, but you know Rekki. . .
Gir walked into the house, in a badly torn doggy suit. (From the explosion) He had just finished running around the tree a few hundred times. He smiled eerily at Rekki.
Gir then giggles and unzips his doggy suit. "YAY! I'M A STRIPPER!" (. . . . .I'M SORRY! I'M SUCH A SICKO!) He slooooowly takes it off, in a stripper-like way, and swings it over his head, before dropping it to the ground.
Rekki raises an eyebrow, for this is the first time she had seen Gir without his doggy suit. She looks at his robotic form from top to bottom.
"What the HELL? You're a Sir unit?" Rekki questioned.
"Nooooo. . .I'm GIR!" he shouted in reply.
"What the ( beep). . .HOW CAN A SIR BE SO IDIOTIC? YOU'RE A ROBOT! YOU SHOULD BE SMART!" Rekki shouted. Silence. More silence. Then Gir takes a rubber moose from the top of his head and squeaks it. He giggles and runs away.
Rekki glares at the spot where Gir had been. "THAT'S IT! I AM TOO (beeping) BORED! AND I DON'T WANNA BE AROUND THIS GOD DAMNED, ANNOYING "GIR"! (beep) Zim! I'M OUTTA HERE! I think I'll go kick some bastard-thief ass and get my lighter back!" Rekki said, "If Zim gets back before I do, cover for me Zeer!" With that said, she rushed out of the house, grabbing her sunglasses and wig on the way out.
Rekki walked. Oh, how she walked! . . .But she walked ANGRILY! For she had not found the devilish Banana Man and kicked his ass yet! OR gotten her lighter back! EEK! AND she was hungry. VERY HUNGRY! HUNGRY ENOUGH TO EAT HUMAN FILTH!
"There must be a damn place to eat around here. . .I don't care if the Earth food dissolves my squeegily spooch, I AM GONNA EAT SOMETHING!" Rekki shouted. She stopped by a building that had the word "Beer" in neon lights.
"Hmmm. . .Is "beer" the Earth word for food? Ehn. . .WORTH A SHOT!" she stated. She walked into the building and saw a familiar bar scene. (Well not to her. . .) Those spinning stools lined up in front of the bar, the crowd of drunken dudes, the darkness except for a soft light. . .
"So many Earth things in one place. . .MUST BE GOOD!" Rekki exclaimed. She hopped onto one of the stools and looked at the bartender. He walked over to her and smiley sweetly.
"What'll ya have, miss?" he said.
"Food, God dammit! FOOOOOD!" she hissed.
The bartender frowned. "We ain't got any here! You new to the bar scene?"
"NO FOOD? WHAT THE (beep)? WHAT'S WITH ALL THE PEOPLE THEN?" Rekki yelped, gaining so glares.
"Heh heh. . .We have something BETTER than food, missus!" the bartender laughed, placing a glass of amber-colored liquid in front of her. Rekki examined it thoroughly and frowned.
"THAT is better than food? How the Hell is that?" Rekki snorted.
"You'll see. . .You'll see. . ." he replied, walking away. Rekki nervously tapped the glass. She looked at the liquid inside once more and stuck her finger in it, licking it off. It tasted. . .GREAT! (I can't describe the taste 'cause I've never had beer myself. . .O.o) Rekki took a cautious sip and the delectable flavor filled her mouth. Soon, the glass was empty, and she found herself wanting more.
"I'll have some more of the "beer" thing!" Rekki shouted, getting the bartender's attention. The bartender just grinned evilly and gave her another glass.
It was sunset when Zim returned. He had had a bad run-in with Dib, and he looked quite disheveled and was in a foul mood. He walked into his base and plopped on the couch, bitterly looking off into nothingness. Then, he remembered Rekki and looked around, not seeing her.
"YOU! Sir unit! Where is the Irken girl?" Zim asked, pointing at Zeer, who sat on the ground, still reading. Zeer looked nervously at him, thinking up a good excuse.
"ANSWER MEE!" Zim commanded. Zeer brought out his speaking screen and it read "Uh. . .She went out to. . .Do something. . .Important. . ." Zeer looked innocently at Zim, knowing his excuse had been quite stupid.
Zim frowned. "DID I NOT TELL HER TO STAY? SHE DARES DISOBEY ZIM? . . .How long ago did she leave?" Zeer pondered for a second and new text came up saying "She left an hour or so after you did."
"WHY HAS SHE BEEN GONE SO LONG? Sir unit! I command you to fetch her! BEFORE SHE EXPOSES US!" Zim growled. Zeer's eyes frowned and the screen reread "Why me?"
"DO NOT DEFY ZIM! She is YOUR master! You may take Gir. . .I WILL BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THE LITTLE NUISANCE!" Zim snarled, "GIR! COME!"
Gir poked up from behind the couch. "Yuh-es?"
"Follow this Sir unit and find the Irken girl! Understand?"
"Maaaaaaybe. . ." Gir giggled. Zim rolled his eyes and left the two Sir units to do what they may. Zeer looked unhappily at Gir and turned to get his disguise. Gir did the same and they both strode out of the house. Zeer used a locating device to find Rekki once outside and locked on to her exact location. He started up his jets and waited for Gir to do the same. Gir stood and did nothing.
Zeer gestured to his jets and then to Gir, but still, Gir just stood there. Zeer took out his screen in frustration and it said "Turn on your jets!"
Gir looked blankly at the screen. "SQUIGGLY LINES!" he screeched, pointing at the screen. Zeer realized Gir couldn't read at once. He rolled his eyes and grabbed Gir's leg, turning on his jets. They flew towards Rekki's point, Gir screaming uncontrollably.
A few minutes later, they were at the entrance of the bar, Zeer scanning the crowd for Rekki. He saw her, talking to some guy and acting quite weird. He also noticed, to his horror, her sunglasses were on the bar counter and NOT over her eyes. Luckily, it was too dark in the bar for many too notice. He sped over to her, dragging Gir behind him.
"An' den. . .(hic) DEY BANISH-ID ME! Fer jus' killing-in sum pe-oples. . .And burnin' sum o' da damn-id cit-ee. . .(HIC!). . .What I's means is. . .(hic)What da (beep) is up wit dat shit? Yah. . .(HIC!)" Rekki slurred drunkenly to the just-as-drunk, oblivious guy next to her while spinning around in her spinny. . .stool. . .chair. . .thing. . .Zeer pulled on the hem of her shirt, trying to get her attention. He pulled a wee bit too hard and Rekki fell on the floor, right on her face. Zeer jumped back in surprise, but regained his grab on her shirt, and began dragging her out of the bar.
"See ya, (hic) guyz. . .I's gittin kiddie-napp-id (HIC!) by ah penny-gween. . .Heh heh. . .(hic)" Rekki said, waving weakly. Some grunts were heard in reply. Zeer dragged her out of the bar as fast as he could and stopped when they reached sidewalk. Rekki dazedly looked out at the street, which appeared hazy and warped. She heard a shrill "SHE'S DRUNK AS A DOORKNOB! YEY!" before blacking out.
Heh heh. . .That drunken part was so much fun to write. . .I'VE NEVER DONE SOMETHING LIKE THAT BEFORE! Muh ha ha. . .Hope I got it right. . .I've certainly never been drunk! So. . .READ AND REVIEW!
Sunshine- I'll give you a review! It. Sucks.
Me- TT DON'T give a review like that. Or I'll do THIS! (whacks Sunshine upside the head with a stale loaf of French bread)
Sunshine- OW! PAIN! (whacks him again) MORE PAIN!
Me- :P