Finally Able to Walk Away
(Okay, this takes place in the R series, but for my own convenience I am making all Senshi seniors in high school.)
"Mamoru... Mamo-chan..." Usagi let weakly slip from her lips, the sounds breathing away from her heart. The tears had already stopped free falling from her blue eyes. All that Usagi could feel was the cold empty inside of her and the cold of the glass phone booth wall. The dangling receiver spoke to her in its mechanical monotone voice. Yes, she would like to make a call; to tell her mom that she wouldn't be able to bring Mamoru home for dinner one night, to tell the world that Usagi Tsukino was not at all okay.
Over and over Usagi begged Mamoru to tell her why, to take her back, to hold her one last time. Again and again he shoved her away. He was done with her. Usagi's heart suddenly made a resolve. Standing up, an inner determination, derived from a hatred and even deeper pain, rose up in Usagi as she wiped away her tears. A cold, half hearted strength filled her.
'For once I won't be weak. I am tired of being pushed away! I am tired of being weak!' Usagi thought angrily. Usagi exited the phone booth and started home. Night had already set, a beautiful white moon hung in a perfect circle, accenting the abysmal night sky. Usagi laughed when she caught sight of her reflection in a passing store window. Her odango hairstyle had started to fall out as she ran to the phone booth hours earlier. Letting down all of her hair Usagi continued home. She loved the silken weightless feel of her golden hair. It felt like heaven on the back of her neck.
Usagi's feet took her aimlessly through the town she grew up in, and soon she found herself in her favorite park by the swing set. Giggling Usagi sat down on one and lightly swung back and forth, losing herself in time. Soon Usagi's newfound strength lost itself as well, leaving Usagi with an empty hollow. Her new happiness was meaningless. It had nothing to back it up.
'Mamoru's out of my life now... the first real boyfriend I get I never really get to have.' Usagi suddenly found that funny. She giggled again, her voice was like many small diamonds resonating against and with each other; like thousands of silver bells chiming together.
'Yeah, I'll meet some one new, he'll be great! He'll be playful yet mysterious, like a knight... yeah, my knight in gleaming armor leaning over his big white horse to lift me up, with the sun shining behind him!' Usagi now laughed fully; she was pitying herself and filling her mind with delusions. Even she could see it. Pathetic.
"There are no knights. Not for me anyways..." Usagi sighed, a light smile still lacing the corners of her lips.
"Well how about an angel?" A male voice suddenly spoke out from behind Usagi, startling her. She spun around quickly (too quickly) and fell right off of the swing. The voice laughed, then extended a hand to pull Usagi up. Se blushingly accepted his hand and was pulled to her feet.
The man now in her presence now was beyond attractive, so her mind gently teased her. He had bright, energetic violet eyes that danced over her, a playful yet manly face with dark chestnut hair swept back into a braid and had bangs that fell just over his eyes. He was about a head and a half taller than Usagi, 'the perfect height' she decided. He wore a dark jacket and pants, simple enough, and a... priest's collar?
"Hi..." Usagi said, lightly blushing after she realized that she had been staring. He laughed, though not at her.
"Hey babe, name's duo, Duo Maxwell. See something you like?"
This made Usagi blush even harder. "Oh- I, uh, yes—no! I mean... hi." She concluded after stuttering around. He laughed again. His voice was like an angel's.
"Sorry I startled ya, I could have sworn I saw an angel sitting here."
Usagi wrinkled her nose. "Is that some kind of insult? What kind of church-man are you then?" Duo laughed again.
"Take it how you want, but my eyes didn't deceive me, you are an angel. And I'm no church-man; I'm way to far gone for that." He added, still smiling. Duo sat down on a swing next to hers, and Usagi followed his notion.
"So then why are you wearing that collar?" Usagi asked with a slight tilt to her head. Duo smirked.
"It's like a dedication to the life I couldn't lead. Like, respect to the man. I don't always wear it; I actually haven't for a while."
"Don't people get mad at you fro wearing that? I mean, isn't it like, sacrilege or something?"
Duo kept lightly laughing. "A girl of a thousand questions, aren't you?" Usagi blushed deeply.
"Sorry, sometimes I get carried away—"
"It's fine, don't worry about it. You know—I saw you earlier, in that phone booth. You had your hair up, like this" Duo lifted his hand up and gathered some of her golden hair in his hand, forming a small ball. "Yeah, I like it this way. They're like odangos. How about it, Odango Atama?"
Usagi wrinkled her nose again, prepared to say that that nick name was reserved for Mamo-chan only... then she stopped. 'Oh right... I'm not his Odango Atama anymore...' She thought, her smile dimming.
"No—call me Usagi. My name is Usagi. Please." She added, her voice adopting a firm and slightly darker tone. Usagi felt tears threatening to show in her eyes, so she lowered her head slightly, her bangs covering her eyes up. Duo however was able to see the tear run down her face.
"I also saw you crying. Wanna tell? Want me to whack the guy?" Duo said, half tempted to throw out his business card. Usagi laughed lightly, bringing her head up.
"What are you, the mafia?" The two laughed together until the pager on the back of Duo's belt began vibrating and beeping. He glanced down at it and frowned.
"Well, I gotta go, my pals just can't live with out me. Keep laughing Odango Atama!" Duo called out behind him as he quickly stepped past Usagi. He didn't see the flash of pain run through her eyes when he called back to her.
Usagi closed her eyes and braced against the pain and wave of memories of Mamoru rushed over her. 'Mamo... no, he's not Mamo anymore. Mamoru's done with me... I give up.' Usagi thought bitterly as she walked up the front stairs into her home. The hour was late, eleven forty five. Everyone was already asleep, so Usagi silently slipped into a hot bath, awaiting another night of misery. The sandman kept forgetting to stop for her and wasn't making second rounds.
Sighing, Usagi glanced around her room. Every inch she looked Mamoru was there. The many portraits of them together hanging on her wall, the various gifts he had bought her, the common word association. Even the sheets on her bed carried the memory of Mamoru. They had gone together and bought these sheets after Luna wet Usagi's sheets. Usagi laughed as she remembered how she once swiped a bottle of Mamoru's cologne and doused her pillows in it. Now the once peaceful sanctuary of her bed was infiltrated by the essence of Mamoru Chiba. Usagi tossed and turned, like every other night, throwing herself around her bed in hopes to just drift away into a harmless sleep. After several failed attempts at holding her breath to prevent herself from smelling Mamoru Usagi got up, went to the linen closet, swiped a pillow and blanket, and then receded to the living room couch. Usagi could feel hot tears threatening to re awaken her nightmares.
'No, I said I would be strong, I said I wouldn't cry anymore.' Usagi thought desperately, fighting the tears back. 'Ha! I'll get some sleep out here; there is nothing of him here. My new sanctuary. Finally beginning to drift away, Usagi heard the floor creaking above the stairs. She lay still as the being descended the stairs, heading behind the couch to which Usagi pretended to sleep and into the kitchen. A faint glow came from under the kitchen door now. Slowly Usagi got up and crept over to the door, making a fine crack in the doorway. Two pink horns glided over the kitchen.
Usagi smiled as she watched Chibi Usa. 'So much like I was... only I wasn't a rude little brat. I was a sweet girl.' She thought with a smirk. The kitchen door then suddenly swung open, ramming right into Usagi's nose. Usagi crumpled to the ground. Chibi Usa glared down at Usagi and scrunched up her nose.
"Well could ya move?" The girl cried out, exasperated.
"After you, your majesty" Usagi said from the floor. She picked herself up and went into the kitchen to retrieve a piece of lemon pie. When she retuned to her new bed, the pink menace had already struck and was taking up the entire couch.
"Scooch." Usagi commanded. Chibi Usa obliged, her eyes focused on the TV. She had her own piece of lemon pie. Together they sat and watched the television. Usagi tried very hard to eat her piece, but her stomach wouldn't allow it. She set the pie aside as a commercial came one. Chibi Usa turned to her, a very arrogant smirk on her face.
"I'll take Mamo-chan from you. He'll be mine. You'll see." She said sharply. Usagi was taken back at the little pink thing, surprised in every way that a child could spit such venom. The pain was incomparable. Laughing bitterly Usagi hid her tears, holding her head with confidence, her own façade.
"Well you can have him." Usagi said, mustering all the indifference she could. This, however, perked Chibi Usa's interest.
"What, did he break up with you? I thought he'd come to his senses soon. You just don't deserve him. You're way too childish for such a sophisticated man like my Mamo-chan! Usa said wickedly. Usagi just stared at the girl unblinking, completely shocked that Chibi Usa said that. She openly stared at the girl for a moment.
"Well? Did he break up with you or not?" The girl taunted. Usagi smiled lightly, hiding her pain.
"No." Usagi knew it was a lie before she opened he mouth. 'I can't believe I can't defend myself against a nine year old girl! I can't believe I have to defend myself at all... I'm so pathetic...' She thought. "Anyways, why would Mamoru go out with a child like you?"
"Same reason he's dating you I suppose." The pink thing smirked. Usagi shook her head, disbelieving.
"Chibi Usa, go to bed." Usagi commanded in a firm, quiet voice.
"No."
Usagi then stood up, taking her pillow and blanket with her and receded away from the pink venom that was poisoning her heart and taunting her mind. She slumped off to her Mamoru infested room, softly shutting the door behind her.
Chibi Usa sighed. 'I'm glad he didn't actually break up with her. I'd have felt terrible for the things I said. That girl really needs to learn how to defend herself. Not very witty." She thought before she turned back to the TV.
Usagi let herself fall on the bed, fresh tears falling with her. Immediately her lungs filled with his scent as she breathed in. 'Why Mamo- chan why? Is my hair too long, and I too ugly, too stupid? Am I really just a child to your eyes? What's wrong with me, tell me, I'll change it what ever it is! Please Mamo-chan!' Usagi cried into her pillow. 'Why don't you love me anymore?!'
End
Hey guys, look for chapter two, in about four days! So, whadya think? Tell me! Review! REVIEW DAMN YOU REVIEW! Please, sniff cry cry sniff I need your reviews to sleep at night, please... I know this chapter is short and doesn't reveal much, but hold on! Hold on! Oooo, didn't I make Chibi Usa wicked? I thought so. Maybe not. Ah!
Luv ya!
(Okay, this takes place in the R series, but for my own convenience I am making all Senshi seniors in high school.)
"Mamoru... Mamo-chan..." Usagi let weakly slip from her lips, the sounds breathing away from her heart. The tears had already stopped free falling from her blue eyes. All that Usagi could feel was the cold empty inside of her and the cold of the glass phone booth wall. The dangling receiver spoke to her in its mechanical monotone voice. Yes, she would like to make a call; to tell her mom that she wouldn't be able to bring Mamoru home for dinner one night, to tell the world that Usagi Tsukino was not at all okay.
Over and over Usagi begged Mamoru to tell her why, to take her back, to hold her one last time. Again and again he shoved her away. He was done with her. Usagi's heart suddenly made a resolve. Standing up, an inner determination, derived from a hatred and even deeper pain, rose up in Usagi as she wiped away her tears. A cold, half hearted strength filled her.
'For once I won't be weak. I am tired of being pushed away! I am tired of being weak!' Usagi thought angrily. Usagi exited the phone booth and started home. Night had already set, a beautiful white moon hung in a perfect circle, accenting the abysmal night sky. Usagi laughed when she caught sight of her reflection in a passing store window. Her odango hairstyle had started to fall out as she ran to the phone booth hours earlier. Letting down all of her hair Usagi continued home. She loved the silken weightless feel of her golden hair. It felt like heaven on the back of her neck.
Usagi's feet took her aimlessly through the town she grew up in, and soon she found herself in her favorite park by the swing set. Giggling Usagi sat down on one and lightly swung back and forth, losing herself in time. Soon Usagi's newfound strength lost itself as well, leaving Usagi with an empty hollow. Her new happiness was meaningless. It had nothing to back it up.
'Mamoru's out of my life now... the first real boyfriend I get I never really get to have.' Usagi suddenly found that funny. She giggled again, her voice was like many small diamonds resonating against and with each other; like thousands of silver bells chiming together.
'Yeah, I'll meet some one new, he'll be great! He'll be playful yet mysterious, like a knight... yeah, my knight in gleaming armor leaning over his big white horse to lift me up, with the sun shining behind him!' Usagi now laughed fully; she was pitying herself and filling her mind with delusions. Even she could see it. Pathetic.
"There are no knights. Not for me anyways..." Usagi sighed, a light smile still lacing the corners of her lips.
"Well how about an angel?" A male voice suddenly spoke out from behind Usagi, startling her. She spun around quickly (too quickly) and fell right off of the swing. The voice laughed, then extended a hand to pull Usagi up. Se blushingly accepted his hand and was pulled to her feet.
The man now in her presence now was beyond attractive, so her mind gently teased her. He had bright, energetic violet eyes that danced over her, a playful yet manly face with dark chestnut hair swept back into a braid and had bangs that fell just over his eyes. He was about a head and a half taller than Usagi, 'the perfect height' she decided. He wore a dark jacket and pants, simple enough, and a... priest's collar?
"Hi..." Usagi said, lightly blushing after she realized that she had been staring. He laughed, though not at her.
"Hey babe, name's duo, Duo Maxwell. See something you like?"
This made Usagi blush even harder. "Oh- I, uh, yes—no! I mean... hi." She concluded after stuttering around. He laughed again. His voice was like an angel's.
"Sorry I startled ya, I could have sworn I saw an angel sitting here."
Usagi wrinkled her nose. "Is that some kind of insult? What kind of church-man are you then?" Duo laughed again.
"Take it how you want, but my eyes didn't deceive me, you are an angel. And I'm no church-man; I'm way to far gone for that." He added, still smiling. Duo sat down on a swing next to hers, and Usagi followed his notion.
"So then why are you wearing that collar?" Usagi asked with a slight tilt to her head. Duo smirked.
"It's like a dedication to the life I couldn't lead. Like, respect to the man. I don't always wear it; I actually haven't for a while."
"Don't people get mad at you fro wearing that? I mean, isn't it like, sacrilege or something?"
Duo kept lightly laughing. "A girl of a thousand questions, aren't you?" Usagi blushed deeply.
"Sorry, sometimes I get carried away—"
"It's fine, don't worry about it. You know—I saw you earlier, in that phone booth. You had your hair up, like this" Duo lifted his hand up and gathered some of her golden hair in his hand, forming a small ball. "Yeah, I like it this way. They're like odangos. How about it, Odango Atama?"
Usagi wrinkled her nose again, prepared to say that that nick name was reserved for Mamo-chan only... then she stopped. 'Oh right... I'm not his Odango Atama anymore...' She thought, her smile dimming.
"No—call me Usagi. My name is Usagi. Please." She added, her voice adopting a firm and slightly darker tone. Usagi felt tears threatening to show in her eyes, so she lowered her head slightly, her bangs covering her eyes up. Duo however was able to see the tear run down her face.
"I also saw you crying. Wanna tell? Want me to whack the guy?" Duo said, half tempted to throw out his business card. Usagi laughed lightly, bringing her head up.
"What are you, the mafia?" The two laughed together until the pager on the back of Duo's belt began vibrating and beeping. He glanced down at it and frowned.
"Well, I gotta go, my pals just can't live with out me. Keep laughing Odango Atama!" Duo called out behind him as he quickly stepped past Usagi. He didn't see the flash of pain run through her eyes when he called back to her.
Usagi closed her eyes and braced against the pain and wave of memories of Mamoru rushed over her. 'Mamo... no, he's not Mamo anymore. Mamoru's done with me... I give up.' Usagi thought bitterly as she walked up the front stairs into her home. The hour was late, eleven forty five. Everyone was already asleep, so Usagi silently slipped into a hot bath, awaiting another night of misery. The sandman kept forgetting to stop for her and wasn't making second rounds.
Sighing, Usagi glanced around her room. Every inch she looked Mamoru was there. The many portraits of them together hanging on her wall, the various gifts he had bought her, the common word association. Even the sheets on her bed carried the memory of Mamoru. They had gone together and bought these sheets after Luna wet Usagi's sheets. Usagi laughed as she remembered how she once swiped a bottle of Mamoru's cologne and doused her pillows in it. Now the once peaceful sanctuary of her bed was infiltrated by the essence of Mamoru Chiba. Usagi tossed and turned, like every other night, throwing herself around her bed in hopes to just drift away into a harmless sleep. After several failed attempts at holding her breath to prevent herself from smelling Mamoru Usagi got up, went to the linen closet, swiped a pillow and blanket, and then receded to the living room couch. Usagi could feel hot tears threatening to re awaken her nightmares.
'No, I said I would be strong, I said I wouldn't cry anymore.' Usagi thought desperately, fighting the tears back. 'Ha! I'll get some sleep out here; there is nothing of him here. My new sanctuary. Finally beginning to drift away, Usagi heard the floor creaking above the stairs. She lay still as the being descended the stairs, heading behind the couch to which Usagi pretended to sleep and into the kitchen. A faint glow came from under the kitchen door now. Slowly Usagi got up and crept over to the door, making a fine crack in the doorway. Two pink horns glided over the kitchen.
Usagi smiled as she watched Chibi Usa. 'So much like I was... only I wasn't a rude little brat. I was a sweet girl.' She thought with a smirk. The kitchen door then suddenly swung open, ramming right into Usagi's nose. Usagi crumpled to the ground. Chibi Usa glared down at Usagi and scrunched up her nose.
"Well could ya move?" The girl cried out, exasperated.
"After you, your majesty" Usagi said from the floor. She picked herself up and went into the kitchen to retrieve a piece of lemon pie. When she retuned to her new bed, the pink menace had already struck and was taking up the entire couch.
"Scooch." Usagi commanded. Chibi Usa obliged, her eyes focused on the TV. She had her own piece of lemon pie. Together they sat and watched the television. Usagi tried very hard to eat her piece, but her stomach wouldn't allow it. She set the pie aside as a commercial came one. Chibi Usa turned to her, a very arrogant smirk on her face.
"I'll take Mamo-chan from you. He'll be mine. You'll see." She said sharply. Usagi was taken back at the little pink thing, surprised in every way that a child could spit such venom. The pain was incomparable. Laughing bitterly Usagi hid her tears, holding her head with confidence, her own façade.
"Well you can have him." Usagi said, mustering all the indifference she could. This, however, perked Chibi Usa's interest.
"What, did he break up with you? I thought he'd come to his senses soon. You just don't deserve him. You're way too childish for such a sophisticated man like my Mamo-chan! Usa said wickedly. Usagi just stared at the girl unblinking, completely shocked that Chibi Usa said that. She openly stared at the girl for a moment.
"Well? Did he break up with you or not?" The girl taunted. Usagi smiled lightly, hiding her pain.
"No." Usagi knew it was a lie before she opened he mouth. 'I can't believe I can't defend myself against a nine year old girl! I can't believe I have to defend myself at all... I'm so pathetic...' She thought. "Anyways, why would Mamoru go out with a child like you?"
"Same reason he's dating you I suppose." The pink thing smirked. Usagi shook her head, disbelieving.
"Chibi Usa, go to bed." Usagi commanded in a firm, quiet voice.
"No."
Usagi then stood up, taking her pillow and blanket with her and receded away from the pink venom that was poisoning her heart and taunting her mind. She slumped off to her Mamoru infested room, softly shutting the door behind her.
Chibi Usa sighed. 'I'm glad he didn't actually break up with her. I'd have felt terrible for the things I said. That girl really needs to learn how to defend herself. Not very witty." She thought before she turned back to the TV.
Usagi let herself fall on the bed, fresh tears falling with her. Immediately her lungs filled with his scent as she breathed in. 'Why Mamo- chan why? Is my hair too long, and I too ugly, too stupid? Am I really just a child to your eyes? What's wrong with me, tell me, I'll change it what ever it is! Please Mamo-chan!' Usagi cried into her pillow. 'Why don't you love me anymore?!'
End
Hey guys, look for chapter two, in about four days! So, whadya think? Tell me! Review! REVIEW DAMN YOU REVIEW! Please, sniff cry cry sniff I need your reviews to sleep at night, please... I know this chapter is short and doesn't reveal much, but hold on! Hold on! Oooo, didn't I make Chibi Usa wicked? I thought so. Maybe not. Ah!
Luv ya!