Changes

Kurama

I'm not supposed to be

Scared of anything

But I don't know where I am

Everyone expects me to know everything; but I'm just as insecure as they. Even more so, with Youko trying to take control sometimes. It's a constant struggle, and it's gotten even harder. I don't know if I can do it anymore.

I wish I could move

But I'm exhausted

And nobody understands (how I feel)

I feel so alone sometimes. Ironic, considering I share a soul with Youko. I wonder how someone you share a soul with can be so different. I just have to keep trying, and coming through for those who need me. Even if I sometimes can't make it through for myself.

I'm trying to breathe now

But there's no air in my lungs

There's no one here to talk to

And the pain inside is making me numb

Hiei is here, talking to me. He confides in me, and I try to help where I can. I wish he could repay the favor, but I can't let my struggle show. Maybe I am somewhat like Hiei after all. Hiding my inner battles so no one can see. I have to be strong.

Try to hold this

Under control

You can't help me

'Cause no one knows

I hide all my insecurities, all my loose emotions. Hiding all others, I only let calmness show through, and wear it like an outer shell.

Now I'm going through changes, changes

God I feel so frustrated lately

When I get suffocated, save me

It's getting harder to keep up the façade.

Now I'm going through changes, changes

Feelin' weak and weary

Walkin' through this world alone

Everything they say

Every word of it

Cuts me to the bone (and I bleed)

Youko wants me to fall, so he can take over. I'm trying my best to stay standing. For me and for everyone who expects me to be my outer shell. But sometimes I look in the mirror with golden eyes.

I've got something to say

But now I've got nowhere to turn

It feels like I've been buried

Underneath all the weight of the world

I'm fighting battles that know no end, inside and out. All the while trying to be the Kurama everyone expects to see. Sometimes I can't take it.

I try to hold this under control

They can't help me

'Cause no one knows

Now I'm going through changes, changes

God I feel so frustrated lately

I look into the mirror, only to see myself losing the battle. Youko's eyes are looking back at me, and his smirk is on my face.

The mirror shatters, and I pull back my fist. A tinkling sounds as little reflections dance on the floor.

When I get frustrated, save me

Now I'm going through changes, changes

I'm blind and shakin', bound and breakin'

I hope I'll make it, through all these changes

The pain feels good on my knuckles, and I wash the blood off. Suichi, Kurama, Youko…who is the real me?How am I to survive this alone, with everyone depending on me to know the answer? Do they know the answers I need to hear? Do I?

Now I'm going through changes, changes

God I feel so frustrated lately

When I get suffocated, save me

Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it

The tears finally come, and I wonder if they do indeed heal. The mask broke when the mirror shattered. Now I'm out in the open with nowhere to hide.

But I'm going through changes, changes

God I feel so frustrated lately

And I get suffocated, I hate this

But I'm going through changes, changes