Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter or anything to do with it.
Summary – Take a peek into the extraordinary life of Parvati Patil.
Parvati Patil's Diary
Chapter 1- a horrible first day
Monday 2nd of September
7:00am
Oh God. It's the first day back at Hogwarts and I'm already dreading classes. I've had a nice long break, and I should be 'refreshed' as my dorm mate Hermione Granger puts it. Yeah right!. Instead of spending my summer holidays relaxing, I had my grandparents come over from India to stay with us. That means I spent my summer hearing about how much better Padma is than me at basically everything. Padma's the smart twin because she got better grades than me in the exams, Padma's better than me because she always gets her homework in on time. Padma's better than me because she got into Ravenclaw and I didn't. As if, I wouldn't go in Ravenclaw even if you paid me. Gryffindor is way better!. But then again I'm used to it, Padma's always been the favourite twin where our grandparents are concerned.
7:15am
Damn, will have to get up in a minute.
7:30am
Still haven't got up, but will soon.
7:45am
Just a couple more minutes and then I will get up, after all breakfast doesn't end for another hour.
8:55am
Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, have missed breakfast and will probably be late for class, as it starts in 5 minutes!.
9:15am
Grrrrrrrr. Hate life, hate school, hate McGonagall and hate Lavender, why didn't she wake me up!. I have just lost 10 points form Gryffindor and have just realised that I left my essay up in the dorm, and now McGonagall is giving me the evils, bollocks!.
9:17am
Why do they have to make the beds so comfortable?.
9:30am
I have just found out that I am the stupidest person in this classroom. I still haven't transfigured this bloody ferret into a book. Even Crabbe and Goyle have transfigured their ferrets, granted that the books have fur and a pair of eyes on the front, but still!.
9:36am
The ferret has just tried to make a bid for freedom. Ha, you can't outsmart me, I'm human.
9:47am
I am dumber than a ferret. Lavender had just leaned over to ask me about what I had done for our Divination homework, and I took my eye off of the little bugger for about a second, and in that time it managed to make a second bid for freedom. I didn't notice that it had gone anywhere for a while, as Lavender was talking to me. So I turned back to my desk, ready to have another attempt at transfigurating it, and I realised that it had gone. Mentally swearing, I leaned round my desk and took a quick glance at the floor, hoping that it hadn't got that far. However, luck wasn't on my side and I saw that it had managed to travel half way across the room, and had ended up right underneath Zacharias Smith's chair. Mentally swearing again, I took a quick glance up the front of the class, McGonagall wasn't going to be happy with me, first forgetting my homework and now this. Luckily for me, McGonagall was busy helping Neville Longbottom, so I figured that I could go and get my ferret and she would help Neville and everyone would be happy.
So keeping one eye on the front of the class and one on the ferret, I stared to travel across the classroom on my hands and knees, presumably to draw less attention to myself. Hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time. It took me about four minutes to get there. Although admittedly I spent two of those minutes staring at my personal close up view of Draco Malfoy's legs, but hey I'm only human. Anyway, I finally got there and the ferret sort of turned around and looked me straight in the eye. Actually it kind of reminded me of those old country and western scenes, where you would get a close up of the goodies and baddies eyes, and they would sort of just stare at each other. It was exactly like that, I swear!. The ferret stared right into my eyes and gave me this look that said 'Fuck you!', and from that moment on, I decided to christen it 'Darth Vader', because to be honest, it just looked plain evil. But that's beside the point, anyhow, it gave me this really smug look and then started to up under Zacharias' trouser leg.
He didn't know what it was at first, he moved his hand down to scratch his leg, and who wouldn't in this case, that ferrets claws must of hurt. Expecting to find his leg normal, it was a very big shock to him, when his hand met ferret instead of leg. He made this sort of strangled noise and I bet his facial expression was hilarious. Remember, I couldn't see it at the time because I was underneath his desk and all. I looked back at his leg, and to my horror I realised that Darth was moving upwards, you know to that area. Zacharias must have realised that too, because he stood up and practically shrieked. That, of course got McGonagall's attention and she came running to see what the matter was. Zacharias only managed to get random words out like 'Ferret' and 'Trouser', before he let out another shriek, which told me that the ferret had managed to get into his pants. The whole class burst into hysterical laughter and I cowered pitifully under Zacharais' desk .
Fortunately McGonagall was able to cast a quick transporting charm on Darth and he was magically transported back onto my desk. She then cast a glance around the room, trying to figure out whose ferret it was, when my heart sank. I was out of my seat, and worse than that I was under Zacharias' desk. So she would think I had set Darth on him, which I hadn't, I was trying to save him!. Her eyes paused on my desk and then did another sweep of the classroom and then after an agonising few minutes came to rest on me, on my hands and knees under Zacharias' desk and doing a crap job of looking innocent.
"Miss Patil, what on earth are you doing?" she barked at me.
I jumped, and being the clutz that I am, I managed to whack my head on the table and knock my self out.
Which now leaves me in my current predicament, sitting in my bed in the hospital wing and thinking up all the horrible things that McGonagall is going to do to me.
'Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I hear footsteps, she's coming, nooooooo'
I practically cowered under the bed sheets, doing my best to look pitiful, maybe she wouldn't notice me.
" Please extract yourself from the bed sheets Miss Patil", damn she spotted me!.
I tried to smile.
"Hello Professor McGonagall".
"Good Afternoon Miss Patil.
I frowned. "Afternoon?".
Professor McGonagall nodded, " Yes afternoon, you've been in the hospital wing for a goof few hours, you've missed three of your lessons and most of Lunch"
"Have I?"
" You suffered quite a blow"
I cringed.
" Why did you feel it necessary to set that ferret on your classmate Miss Patil ".
I looked up at her, 'how the hell could I explain this'
" Professor, I swear I didn't do it"
She looked at me sceptically, " If you didn't do it, why exactly were you out of your seat?".
I bit my lip, " I was trying to get the ferret back Professor"
" Why didn't you keep a better eye on it Miss Patil, it would have seriously hurt Mr Smith"
I got a sudden mental image of what it could have hurt and fought down the urge to giggle. But a quick look at McGonagall's face sobered me up again fast.
" You are to apologise to Mr Smith, and you will also take the ferret"
" What, Darth?"
She blinked at me "Who?"
I quickly realised my mistake and forced a grin, " nothing Professor, feel free to carry on".
" As I said before you interrupted me, you will take the ferret as well as apologising to Mr Smith"
I blinked, not quite believing it, " Why have I got to take the ferret Professor?"
Now it was McGonagall's turn to look embarrassed. " He has proved quite the pest and I feel that he should be kept away from the other ferrets"
I smirked; at least he'd given her hell too.
" I'm giving you special permission to look after him until the half term, when he can be moved to somewhere else".
" Wouldn't he be better with Hagrid?" I asked.
McGonagall actually looked embarrassed. "Errm…. no, myself and the Headmaster both agree that it would be in the ferrets best interests to stay with you for the time being"
'Aka, one of Hagrid's 'pets' would eat it at the first chance it got'.
" You will get dressed and head off to your last lesson, then after dinner you will pick up the ferret before you head back to Gryffindor tower, is that understood?"
'Like I have a choice in the matter', " Yes Professor".
She crossed the room and stopped for a moment in the doorway, "you will be in serious trouble if anything like this ever happens again, Miss Patil".
'Bitch, like that was my fault'
2:50pm
Understandably I remained in a foul mood throughout Charms. ' How dare she make me take care of that bloody ferret, it's an Evil Little Bastard, and it suits the name Darth perfectly. I swear she's got it in for me, I don't like Transfiguration and love Divination and Professor Trelawny which really pisses her off, she has it in for Divination for some reason, she's probably just jealous because she doesn't have the sight'.
" Did McGonagall have a right go at you?" asked Lavender with attempted concern.
I sighed and turned around irritably, "what do you think?"
" All right, all right, there's no need to be so snarky about it, don't take it out on me because she had a go at you, it's your own fault if she punished you, this doesn't involve me in any way".
"Or so you think".
"What are you going on about now?".
" She's made me look after the ferret, it's going to stay in our dorm room, so yes actually, it is going to involve you since you live in said dorm".
" She can't do that!".
" Well she did, so tough shit"
She scowled, " It's all your fault, what the hell were you doing anyway?".
I explained, and she laughed like a drain, what such a good friend I have….not.
" Only you could do that," she snorted.
"You forgive me then?".
" I guess so, it's not your fault you're one of the unluckiest people alive"
" Well at least I've got your support, Hermione will throw a huge hissy fit when I tell her".
" Don't be so pessimistic, she's probably be alright with it once you explain the situation to her".
" Yeah right, and the sky is yellow".
" I'll bet you a bag of cookies that you're wrong".
I glanced at her sceptically; she loves cookies, what the hell was she trying to prove. "Ok then deal".
4:20pm
I hate being right. Oh well, at least I get a bag of cookies.
Hermione was far from all right at the news that she would be getting a new dorm mate. She glared at me like it was my fault, what's her problem anyway, as far as I see the situation was entirely out of my hands. Ok maybe I could have done something to prevent it, but not a lot honest. Ok, it was my fault, but what the hell can I do about it, it's not like I can control what McGonagall says and does.
The reaction was totally over the top too. What a drama queen.
I decided to get it out of the way and tell her as soon as she came in, that way I figured she could have an hour or so to digest the information before I brought Darth back to the dorm. I was trying to be nice, I could have just not told her about it and just brought Darth back to the dorm in true uber bitch style. Why did I even bother?.
Her reaction went something like this, and I have taken the liberty of adding my own personal comments underneath:
" What do you mean a ferrets going to live with us, if you hadn't been so irresponsible this wouldn't have happened, would it?"
'So I made one little mistake, this is the first time anything like this has ever happened, couldn't she cut me a little slack and let her hair down for once?. After all she's done much worse stuff than this even if all of it was over looked by the teachers'
" How are Crookshanks and it going to cope living together, Crookshanks would try to kill it".
' I'd be more worried about Crookshanks if I were you'.
" It'll be unhygienic too"
'That's just being plain bitchy that is'
" Why do I have to suffer for your stupidity?"
'Meow, talk about catty, I'm not stupid, I merely have a hidden intelligence that I haven't quite discovered just yet, it's in there………..somewhere. Anyways I'm good at Divination, at least I stuck with it unlike somebody'.
Then she turned about and started to talk to Harry and Ron like she was all that and just shut Lav and me out, talk about being rude. She definitely needs to learn better manners.
5:10pm
I'm on my way to pick up Darth. I can practically hear the funeral song now. Maybe Lav is right, maybe I am too pessimistic.
5:20pm
Actually things might not be too bad.
I set Darth down on the bed and backed away observing what the little git would do first. But instead of destroying things and lording it about the dorm he just had a little sniff around the bed, then came up to me and stood on his hind legs silently regarding me. I have to admit, he looked almost cute. Maybe the whole escaping-and-molesting-somebody brought us together in some wacked out way.
7:20pm
I have sat here for a whole two hours doing my homework and he's hardly moved at all. He had another little meander around the bed and then just curled up looking at me. He now seems to be asleep. Hmmm, maybe the whole owing-a-ferret thing isn't too bad after all. I think I'll go and see what Lavender is doing, since he seems to be asleep, maybe if I'm lucky he won't have destroyed much when I get back.
10:00pm
I don't believe it. He's still there. And nothing looks like it's been destroyed either. I'll just put him in his basket thingymabob and then go to bed myself, if I'm lucky, he won't even wake up. But it's me we're talking about, so that's a big if.
Wow, he hasn't even woken up. Maybe having a ferret won't be so bad. After all he seems very well behaved now, maybe he just didn't like the atmosphere in the Transfiguration classroom. I'd be pretty grumpy myself if I had to live in there all the time. He actually looks pretty adorable all curled up like that, I think i'm actually getting fond of him, who can resist that sweet little face?.