Fortunately they reached the Prancing Pony without further incident.

"You mean abuse," said Daria.

"Shut up or I'll sic Tom Bombadil and the Barrow Wights on you!"

Anyway, they were at the check-in desk at the Prancing Pony Inn.

"So, who are you?" asked Butterbur, the innkeeper.

Daria, who was still dripping wet and shivering, said, "Frodo Underhill."

This confused Stacy. "But I thought you were Daria Morgendor – "

Jane clamped her hand over Stacy's mouth. "Don't mind her. She gets disoriented when she tired."

Stacy's eye's filled with tears. "Omigod! I'm SO sorry! I forgot I wasn't supposed to say your real name! Please don't hate me!"

"It's okay, Gandalf already let me in on everything," said Butterbur.

"What?" said Jane. "He did?"

Daria smiled smugly. "I told you to read the book first."

"Oh, by the way, Strider's waiting for you in the bar," said Butterbur.

As they walked to the bar, Jane asked, "So, Daria, when will those Ring Wraiths track us down?"

"They won't," said Daria. "I'm not going to put on the ring."

"Smart."

As they continued walking, the ring fell out of Daria's pocket and landed in front of Tiffany. She picked it up, mesmerized. "This ring is so shiny…" Tiffany slipped on the ring and disappeared.

Stacy shrieked. "Where did she go?"

"What I want to know is, how the hell did that ring fall out of Daria's pocket?" said Jane suspiciously.

"The ring has a will of its own," said the narrator mysteriously.

"And so does the narrator," said Daria, her eyes narrowing in anger.

Luckily, Tiffany reappeared.

"I wouldn't call that lucky," said Daria.

Stacy ran over and hugged her.

"Tiffany, not me," said Daria. "Not a very concise narrator, are you?"

"Well, if you'd stop making comments while I'm writing it wouldn't have turned out that way!"

"Are you okay?" cried Stacy, hugging TIFFANY, NOT DARIA.

Tiffany shuddered. "There was this big eye looking at me. It was so gross."

Jane grabbed the ring. "That'll teach you to keep your hands to yourself. Thanks to you, now those Ring Wraiths will be heading right for us!"

Daria sighed. "Some evil sets its will against us."

"Hey, doesn't Aragorn say that in The Two Towers?" asked Jane.

Daria put her finger to her lips. "Shhh! Don't give the narrator any ideas!"

When they reached the bar, they found Strider snoozing on a chair in the corner of the room. It was Trent. Jane nudged him with her boot.

"But Elrond, I was just helping her to get something out of her throat...Oh. Hey, Janey. Hey, Daria."

Daria blushed. "Hey."

Jane elbowed Daria. "So this is our Strider."

Daria deadpanned, "Or Aragorn, son of Arathorn, or Elessar, or Elfstone..."

"Got enough names?" asked Jane.

Trent shrugged. "Eh, I like to keep things loose."

Jane rolled her eyes. "So what should we call you, then?"

"Oh, you know, whatever."

"Well, 'Oh, you know, whatever,' we should probably get going before those Ring Wraiths get here," said Daria.

Trent did his laugh/cough thing. "Good one, Daria."

Daria blushed, Jane smirked, Stacy smiled, and Tiffany was her usual oblivious self.

"Excuse me," said the narrator. "Sorry to butt in, but you'll no doubt be happy to know that I'm skipping the whole Weathertop battle and moving the story right to the Council Meeting of Elrond at Rivendell."

Daria looked relieved. "So we can skip the stabbing, then?"

"Oh, no! Someone gets stabbed?" cried Stacy hysterically. "Is it bloody?"

"Stacy, eww," said Tiffany.

"Yes, well, the story is starting to lag, so I thought I'd pick up the pace a bit," said the narrator.

"And get to Legolas," Daria finished.

Jane's eyes lit up. "Legolas is in this? Thank you, God!"

The narrator snickered.

"I have a bad feeling about this," said Daria.

"Wrong universe again," said the narrator. "This isn't a Star Wars crossover."