A/N: Hey Everyone (or no one)Um, this is just a random fic I came up with in about an hour so forgive me if it's total crap.
Middle Earth Encyclopedia: Volume 5 Section 15b
Elves Ears
How did the elves of Middle Earth get pointed ears? Was it divine choice? Was it an accident? Do we even care? Well of course we care! (Of course, that's only because it's mostly elves who will read this section of the fabulous Middle Earth Encyclopedia.) Anyways, the tale of elves and their pointed ears is as follows:
When Middle Earth had just been created, the Valar decided that it needed some habitants other than the animals. They proceeded to create the elves (see entry 15a). They had given both pointed ears. The Valar then placed both the male and female on Middle Earth. For a few days all was well but then the elves decided to be naughty and go off for a snog under some trees. From the grove into which the dirty elves had disappeared, the head god Manwe heard heated murmurs ("Oh Dir!" "Mmm Cuino..."). Furious, he stormed in, expecting the worst. Happily for him, the two elves were simply snogging.
"DIR!" The irate god bellowed. "YOU SHOULD NOT BE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF CUINO!" The ebony-haired male gulped as Manwe turned on the blonde Cuino. "AND YOU SHOULD NOT LET HIM DO SO!" The beautiful elf maid winced. "DON'T LET ME CATCH YOU AT IT AGAIN OR I SHALL HANG YOU BOTH BY YOUR EARS!" With that the powerful head god vanished, leaving the elves pouting.
"Well that was waaaaayyy overdramatic." Cuino said, rolling her eyes. "No joke." Dir grumbled. "Shall we go at it again?" The blonde bimbo asked brightly. "Yeah alright." Dir shrugged. Within minutes, Manwe was back, watching the two snogging like there was no tomorrow. "DID I NOT FORBID THIS OUTRAGEOUS DISPLAY?" Manwe screamed. "I SWEAR NEXT TIME I WILL TRULY HANG YOU BY YOUR EARS!"
"Gosh. He's, like, WEIRD." Cuino said ditzily. "C'mon Dir. I wanna go again." Dir grinned evilly. "Betcha he still won't hang us by our ears." He smirked at the airheaded Cuino, who beamed. "Really? Come on and kiss me!" Dir quickly obeyed.
Seconds later Manwe had swooped down, snatched both elves and rushed back to the realm of the gods. He raced to a large well and immediately strung both up by their round ears. "That is it!" The god hissed, sounding as if he had gone mad. "You will stay here until I get sick of torturing you. HA!"
Five thousand years later, Manwe came back. "Alright you're done." He said, cutting both elves down. Cuino sniffled. "My ears are, like, RUINED!" She complained. "Come on Dir. Let's go snog some more." With that Manwe shrieked and strung them both back up.