Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own them

A/N: I really thought I had something to say here...but then I realized I didn't, soo without further waiting, here's the next chapter

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Raven was determined not to say one word to Beast Boy that entire day. She felt if she said anything, it would end up coming out as an apology for the night before, and she didn't want that to happen. She contemplated staying in her room until it was time for her meeting with Malvern, but hunger got the best of her, and she left around noon time. Beast Boy was sitting on the sofa, watching one of his TV shows with complete rapture, while Starfire was flying about the room, a look of worry on her face.

"Friend Raven!" She cried frantically, zooming over so quickly that Raven hardly had time to react. The red haired girl gripped her hands with urgency. "I am most distressed!"

"What is it this time?" Raven said guardedly. The last time Starfire was "most distressed" she ended up being forced to go to the—she shivered—mall, and spend three hours helping her pick out a pair of shoes that would go with her dress.

"Beast Boy is being a..a…Harkus Lampos!" She said, her eyes flashing for a second with anger before turning back into simple worry. "I insisted that he let me watch my show next about the girl and her dog, but he has yet complied!" She looked at her in absolute desperation. A girl with no in-between emotions, the very reflection of what Raven could never be.

"I'm sure he'll change it." She said, trying not to get in the middle of this rather domestic fight.

"But Raven, he is being most impossible!" Starfire said frantically, pulling her arm with such might that her hood almost slipped off. Raven felt herself go completely cold.

"Do you think I care?" And without waiting for her to answer, she went to the cabinet and grabbed the first thing she could reach before disappearing out the room. Crackers will have to do she thought darkly to herself, feeling an unusual amount of bitterness to the happy Tamaranian.

---

"Did I do something to offend Raven?" Starfire flew over to the green haired figure on the couch. Her arms hung down in worry for her gloomy friend. Beast Boy, despite his appearances, had been very much aware of the conversation behind him. Raven, never the most friendliest of people, seemed to be growing even colder then usual.

Even before she had thrown him out her room, he had noticed it. She seemed to becoming more and more distant, her words often coming out hard and cold, rather then laced with the amused sarcasm they had all grown accustomed to.

"Nah," He finally said. "She's been acting funny for awhile."

"Why is that? Does she have the case of the aches and chills?"

"I don't think so, Star," Beast boy said after a moment of serious consideration. Maybe she was sick…if his theory about the library torturing her was true…then….he shook his head, dismissing the thought. Robin could probably figure it out… He internally muttered—this kind of thing was more his cup of tea then the changelings. Concentrating, he tried to put some perspective on his thought. What would Robin think? It must be a twisted plot by Slade! Still…that didn't seem right either. Gah, we are her friends—what could be getting her so worked up?

"Beast Boy?" Jumping at the sound of his name, he saw Starfire still standing beside him, looking confused by his long silence. "Were you lost in reflection?"

"Heeey," Beast Boy suddenly said, not really paying attention to Starfire's question. "—do you know what Raven's been doing at the library?"

"Reading." Starfire said easily, looking surprised by the question. "Is that not what one does at the Library?"

"Library?" Robin interrupted from behind him.

Beast Boy jumped, "Duuuude! Don't sneak up on people like that!"

"Robin!" Starfire said happily, flying over to him. "Beast Boy and I are conversing over friend Raven."

"Oh." The caped boy simply looked at them both. "Is something wrong with her?"

"Oh, no, no, aha, there is nothing wrong with her!" The changeling exclaimed, a large smile plastered on his face in a desperate attempt to sound believable. Starfire was not the kind to question too deeply into Raven if she didn't see anything wrong, but Robin on the other hand…..

The Tamaranian, who had apparently not noticed Beast Boys strange behavior, was staring back up at the TV, where Star Trek was playing in all its glorious fury.

"Friend Beast Boy," Her tone was overly sweet, causing him to look at her in suspicion. "Please give me the channel changer or I'll feed you to a Belovian."

"Gah!" Deciding not to risk whatever a "Belovian" was, he handed her the remote. "Geez—but I better have it back afterwards!" The princess ignored him, already fully enthralled in her show, her arms wrapped tightly about her legs.

"You are both most welcome to join me in watching?" She took one second to look up, her expression hopeful. Robin shook his head.

"Sorry, but I got some work to do. I need to finish running the analysis over our last battl—"

"Boorriiingg," Beast Boy complained loudly, but inside he glad for the sudden topic change. "Seriously, you really need to work on having some fun." The other titan raised one eyebrow at him.

"Who said I wasn't having fun?" And then he continued on his way.

---

Raven sat in her darkened room, catching occasion muffled voices as her fellow Titans enjoyed the day without her. Even if she wasn't avoiding Beast Boy, she wasn't sure if she would go out and join them. A part of her didn't feel like she really deserved it, while the other part of her claimed she simply did not want it. Why be the lonely void in the middle of their mass of emotions?

Meditating and watching the clock in anxious eyes, she finally decided she needed to get out. If she left now, she could spend a good hour reading before her meeting time with Malvern. Also, it would be much more distracting then sitting pensive about what was going on beyond her door.

Walking down the hall, she frowned at the lack of noise her footsteps gave off. It was as though she instinctively tried to hide her presence even when she was alone...or perhaps the building itself didn't recognize her as an actual person, seeing beyond her human mask to the cold darkness that lay below.

Staying in the shadows, she heard voices in the living room, and was about to enter when Cyborg suddenly announced, "Sooo, everyone is down with Pizza them?"

"The bread with cheese is most delightful," Starfire's voice said brightly. "Shall we all go together? I could go get Beast Boy and Raven!"

"Beast Boy said he'd pass." Raven noticed the long pause that elapsed after those words could only imagine what reaction everyone was giving to the thought of Beast Boy passing up pizza.

"You didn't threaten to slip some meat into his, did you?" Robin sighed.

"Well, maybe a little." The half man, half machine admitted, "But he seemed really set on beating the high score set by yours truly," His gloating was easily read in his words, "on Monkey Madness IV."

"And Raven probably wouldn't want to come anyway, so I guess it's just us then." Robin commented, their voices fading as they seemed to be stepping out of the room.

Starfire seemed to say something in response, but by this time, their voices were muffled to the extent that Raven couldn't make out what was said. After a moment, she continued forward, pausing in the living room.

The room, so bare and empty without the chattering of the people who just left, appeared to mock her, reminding her again and again how acutely alone she truly was. Darkening, she stepped on, her footsteps faltering once as she thought over the conversation again. It wasn't like she would go with them anyway. Still…she wouldn't have minded being invited. Shaking her head, she forced herself to stop thinking about it. I am alone she reminded herself bitterly.

The trip to the library took her much less time then it normally did, she levitating towards it with such furious determination that it appeared for one moment that she wasn't going to stop, that she simply was going to smash into the side and end it all there. At the last minute, she landed on the ground, looking up to the one place that she felt she was welcome in.

Taking out the book she had been reading before, she sat in the private back room and forced herself to only think about the tome before her and the words resting on its page.

---

Beast Boy, proud by the little fib he had told the others to get out of going to pizza, morphed into a small fly and was busily searching the Tower for Raven. She appeared to have already left her room, and he suddenly was afraid that his entire plan was ruined; that maybe she had gone to the library much earlier then usual. Relief hit him, however, when he saw her standing in the living room.

He couldn't make out her emotions very clearly, the pulled up cape sending her face into dark shadows. She simply stood there for awhile, looking unaware of the time going passed before she wrenched herself forward, her hands clamping a bit from some internal struggle. He resisted the urge to transform back into his usual self and ask her what was the matter. Beast Boy had the feeling that even if he did, she wouldn't answer. I got to do this the old fashion, sneaky way, he thought. Inside his mind, he started humming a James Bond theme song, suddenly feeling very mysterious by his actions.

As soon as she left the tower, things became trickier. She wasn't simply levitating towards the library---she was zooming there, with such speed that it was impossible for simply his fly form to keep up. Concentrating, he turned into a small bird in a desperate tempt to keep her in sight while still remaining inconspicuous, but it didn't seem to help. Soon, she was but a smidge in the landscape before him.

It wasn't that he didn't know where to find her—he just didn't know exactly where she would be once she got there. And, if his theory proved to be correct and the library was some evil organization, then there was probably going to be all sorts of diabolical traps meant to prevent him from finding out the secrets.

When he landed at the library, he was kind of surprised by how big it was. It wasn't that he had never come here before…actually, thinking it over, he realized he really hadn't been here before. Turning back into fly form, he flew from corner to corner, trying to spot his blue cloaked friend. I know she's in here…Try as he might, he wasn't able to spot her. And on top of that, nobody seemed to be acting very suspicious either. Both lack of discoveries were starting to make him disgruntled. Maybe she got the bruise after she left the library…

Finally, getting tired of people swatting him, he turned back into his normal form in a secluded area. "Hmmmm," His face scrunched up in thought. Trying again for an idea, he repeated, "Hmmmm…"

"Excuse me, do you need help looking for anything?" A girl, probably just a few years older then him, asked pleasantly. She wore a name tag that read Susy W. White, and had a studious air about her. Trying to seem suave, he slicked back his hair with the palm of his hand and crossed his arms, shifting his weight to one side.

"Nah, I'm just browsing," in his mind, those words seemed much cooler then they actually sounded. He wasn't really use to being around girls, minus Starfire and Raven, and he tried to cover up his naive ness the best he could with simple cockiness.

"Uh huh," Susy W. White said skeptically. "If you need anything, just ask us."

"Unless, of course, you are looking for something?" He said, saying the first thing that came into his mind. "I mean, like someone as cool," He gave his hair another slick back, "as me?"

"Does that even count as a pick up line?" The girl shook her head, and then walked away without saying another word.

"Aww, come on, it wasn't that bad!" He wined, but felt himself blush from embarrassment. He stood there for a few minutes, before remembering why he had come here in the first place. Then he started blushing with embarrassment again.

Becoming focused on his search once again, he turned quickly around the corner of the book shelf, as though to hide from the humiliation he had just suffered. A he did, he noticed someone open a door to the room near where he was standing. Before it could close, he definitely saw a flash of blue cloak. "Raven!" Quickly he changed once again into the flying insect and darted underneath the door and into the room.

He was feeling very pleased with himself by his sudden change in luck. Sitting there, reading an old book was the Titan girl he had been searching for. What he wasn't pleased about was that there was only one other person in here. And he was male. And he was sitting right next to Raven. And that they were talking together.

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"Good evening Raven." Malvern said as he walked in. Raven studied him, already trying to see what exactly kind of mood he was in today.

"Good evening," She said politely back.

Even when sitting down, he seemed to be tense, his shoulders rigid, and his eyes focusing only on her. With one hand, he pulled back the hood around her face…

"You don't have to hide from me." He said simply. Those words, if they had come from any other person, could have been a reassuring reminder that she could be her true self around him. However, he was not like most people. The words had an almost biting tone to them, as though mocking her secrets…as though he could see straight through to the nightmare of her other self.

"What was your opinion on the Garenstan?" He pulled out a book of his own, and gestured to the author's name, abruptly taking Raven out of her thoughts. "I find him to be a bit naïve, personally, but he did make some valid points."

"He portrays the world very black and white." Raven said after a moment of musing. For awhile they conversed over the book, she feeling refreshed to have her mind on something else rather then her own broodings, even if she knew it wasn't going to last. Even while talking, she noticed how he stressed every dark point, and seemed to focus in on the idea of death.

"We are alone." He suddenly said. Although they were in the room with just the two of them, she had a feeling he meant beyond their physical position. She watched as his shoulders almost began to shake from how tense he was becoming. Slowly she nodded.

"Just shadows." She said softly, lifting her hands in a gesture like she was cupping the light. Nothing more then the darkness on the wall…unnoticed, unwanted…and something to fear because of what it holds.

"Sometimes it's best for light to go out." Malvern had a far away look in his eyes, his voice drawing down into a whisper. He looked over at her, with a fixed determination, gripping both her wrists. "Are you afraid?" The metaphor didn't go unnoticed to Raven…he was talking of something more permanent, more dramatic. Death.

"Of dying? I'm a Titan—I live with my life on the line." She said calmly.

"Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about." His words were frigid. "We are both smarter then that." She did know what he was talking about. It was something she herself thought about on more then on occasion

Was she afraid of dying? Was she afraid of ending it all? All her pain that she had gone through? All the loneliness that she had felt?

She shivered.

Not responding, she continued to stare up at him, not able to break away from his gaze. "If all we have is the potential to cause pain, then why are we still here?" Cause pain? The demon inside her…was it really worth living when at any moment she could become the gateway to hell on earth…? Or continue what she was doing, being a human shell living the lie of being alive, when happiness was so far away from her?

She felt her head tighten with conflicting emotions. Everything he said made sense…she had only the potential to do evil…

"Death would only prove we lost." She said softly, her wavering voice betraying her words. Raven wasn't even sure if she believed in that anymore. Shaking her head, she tried to get her thoughts in order. It wasn't like her to be so shaky. Her voice returning to its normal monotone, she continued. "It would be the easy way out." Grimacing at her words, she felt as though she was some cheesy teacher telling her student's "Drug's are bad."

His eyes darkened, and he stood up quickly, still holding onto her wrists. The sudden action sent blaring pain shooting through her arms as they were painfully pulled in a direction they didn't want to go. She shifted her body, relieving it somewhat, as he continued to glare down at her. "You know that I'm telling the truth!" He said angrily. "Why try to deny you aren't black to the core?" Raven stared at him, her face not betraying any emotion.

"I'm not denying it." She said callously, trying not to wince as his fingers began to bury themselves in her skin.

"Are you afraid?" He repeated the words from earlier, his voice emotionless as her own.

"Death is just an escape."

"Not so much as living." Suddenly he let go one of her wrists, and reached into his coat pocket, bringing out a silver knife. Still gripping the other, he held the point into her palm, the tip sinking into her soft hands. She gave away nothing, even as her blood slowly began to run down her wrist, traveling in slow progression down her arm. "I don't want to die alone…"

She opened her mouth to speak, not sure what exactly she was going to say, when suddenly a very large gorilla landed on top of Malvern. The entire scene before her played out in slow motion, her hand falling lifelessly to her side, the knife into the air, Malvern to the ground…

The gorilla, very green and very angry, was morphing with agonizing slowness back into his original form. The knife, was falling onto the ground and it wasn't until the soft clink of it hitting the linoleum floor that she finally found herself able to react.

Beast Boy was here. He must have seen everything. He must have heard everything. He was now staring at the unconscious Malvern with undeniable anger, and then casting worried glances to her own person. Why was he here? This was the place she was alone…it wasn't right. He had seen her in this vulnerable position, where she was in a place she could be her true self. This wasn't right.

Her eyes started to glow black as she felt herself become angry. Tentacles of dark magic shot around her as she tried to stay in control. Not trusting to use her own powers right now, she simply walked up to the changeling. He looked up at her, his expressions reading a variety of emotions, from anger, to worry, to simple confusion. Bringing one hand back, she slapped him.

"Raven…" He held one hand to his face, a slow crimson spreading across his cheek

"Azarath Metreon Zinthos." And then she was gone.

---

Sitting on the wall over the two people, Beast Boy felt himself become more and more irritated. Raven was talking to another boy. What if they were going out? What if she was having some secret romance with the mysterious library chump?

Only half paying attention as the two talked about some book he had brought, he suddenly noticed that the entire conversation had gotten quiet. Looking down, he saw the guy was standing up, holding Raven's hands and whispering something to her. She's being seduced! For some reason, that was the only thought running through his mind. Oh please let him be an evil blood sucker so I can kick is butt…. He wished desperately.

He shook his head, quite a feat when so small. It wasn't that he was jealous. Or at least that's what he kept saying to himself. He should just have the right to know about this mysterious guy Raven was talking to. Remembering the bruise on her face, he suddenly got a bad feeling about this situation. What if he was behind it? Flying down closer to the two, he heard snatches of their conversation.

"You know that I'm telling the truth!" The guy was yelling, sounding very angry. Beast Boy cursed his lack of attention span. Apparently things had just gotten interesting. "Why try to deny you aren't black to the core?" Black to the core? Sure Raven was a bit dark, but wasn't he being a little harsh?

"I'm not denying it." Raven's cold answer made Beast Boy's worry increase. She seemed…to really believe what she just said.

"Are you afraid?"

"Death is just an escape." Death?

"Not so much as living." The boy took out something form the depths of his coat. Not being in the right position to see exactly what it was, he had to fly desperately around the two. His eyes widened. "I don't want to die alone…" The blood on Ravens arm snapped something in him. No one should hurt Raven!

And here she was, sitting there, taking this treatment.

Not knowing what else to do, he did the only thing he could. He attacked. It didn't take much to knock the fellow out---he simply landed on him in his gorilla floor, sending him smashing into the ground. Raven was staring at him, her gaze a mixture of both confusion and disbelief.

Slowly shifting back, he stood in front of her, suddenly not knowing what to say.

Raven's eyes slowly grew black with rage, and he found himself taking an involuntary step backwards as she walked over towards him.

Slap

The contact of her hand to his face…The sound echoed in his ears, in his mind. One hand reached up to feel the burning mark.

"Raven…." Couldn't she see that he had helped her? Then again, he also followed her…but the guy had a knife! His emotions were struggling, yet the one thought that stayed on top was….Raven had slapped him. For some reason that hurt more then any of the other things she could have done. Or she could have said….

Not even speaking to him, she said some words under her breathe…then disappeared through the wall

Leaving Beast Boy very much alone.

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