Kill Bvill v1
Chapter Three:
"The Fatal Cobra Fanfiction Squad"
From nowhere, the Charlie's Angels theme song starts...play it now...
Some seizure-inducing swirls of 70's colour begin to show, and silhouettes of three women appear.
Once upon a time, there were three very special little girls...
Charlie's Angels song keeps playing, so hum it now!
A little girl with bubble gum pink piggie tails is sitting at a table, facing a big fat greasy-looking man. A large sign behind them reads 'Anime Card Dueling!' She places one card on the table, and the fat man begins to cry. Out of nowhere, a old man presents the smiling little girl with a trophy.
HELEN
Another little girl is sitting in front of a massive tv screen playing an army game. She is clad in army clothing, and is kicking the other boys asses in a tank game. She whips her head around as the screen flashes 'Siren Wins!' and gives a wicked grin.
NANCY
A third little girl is sitting at her computer, reading some fanfiction. She swivels around, flipping her long black hair, and we see that she is in fact a little Boy! He shrugs his shoulders and points to the screen, which reads the title, Kill Phil.
KYLE
...Who grew up to be three extraordinary teens!
A woman is sitting at a table facing a little boy, set with a poker face. The sign behind them now reads, "Pokemon TCG World Championships!" The woman places a single card and giggles profusely, while the boy bursts into tears and calls for his mother. The same random old man hands her another trophy, as she beams to the crowd.
BELOVED FOOL
We see a battlefield, and a single enemy, frantically waving his machine guns. Suddenly, he erupts into an explosion via homing missile! We hear hysterical laughing, and see a woman holding a bazooka missile hauncher on her shoulder, decked in army gear. She smiles wickedly and winks.
DEADLY SIRENS
Finally, we see a woman sitting with a lap top, cheerfully typing away. She is in a room with fanfiction awards lining the walls. She turns around and gives us an angry look, mouthing the words, 'I am a guy, asshole!' Oh...Well, the male with long black hair breaks into a bi-polar happy smile, and points to the typing on the lap-top screen, and we see the title, 'Kill Bvill'.
THE CRAZED WANNABE UMA THURMAN LOOK ALIKE
And so we have it, three very special females- oh sorry, two very special females and a male. Who are they? Well, the women are my angels. Who am I? Well, I'm Bvill (formerly known as Phil). They are a small part of the squad which I lead, the...(dum dum dum DUUUUMMMMM!)
The
FATAL COBRA
FANFICTION SQUAD
The Fa. Co. Fa. S
Facofas? What the hell? Oh well, ain't much weirder than 'Tcwutla'...
STARRING
(Charlie's Angels theme is still running...)
A female surrounded by plushie anime characters smiles, and gives the Japanese 'V' with her fingers.
HELEN
as
BELOVED FOOL
A male drops from the ceiling, squashing the image of Helen, waving a knife with no skill whatsoever.
MARC
as
NINETEENTH ANGEL
Marc swings his knife and ends up cutting himself, and a thousand little identical guys bleed out of him, until Marc eventually explodes into...
TOM
as
TOM-TOM: THE ORIGINAL TOM
In one swipe, all the toms are cut in half, revealing a woman holding a massive laser cannon.
NANCY
as
DEADLY SIRENS
The second-last character rolls over Nancy in an Apocalypse Tank straight from Command and Conquer: Red Alert2. He jumps out, clad in Soviet attire...
ADAM
as
SOVIET MAN
Finally, a mysterious shroud envelopes the screen, and a silhouette with a giant question mark appears...
PHIL
as
BVILL
Created by Phil
Copied by Kyle
Avenged by Bvill
Now that you've met who I'm up against, you have some idea of the trouble I am facing. While I know who I am going to kill, I am still unaware of their strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, I turned to who would be easiest to find- Helen, AKA Beloved Fool. She would be first on my list of death, and I knew where to find her- JAPAN... This would be great, as I needed to stop by Japan anyways...
Now, Beloved Fool's background is a total mystery. What is known is this- she conquered the underworld of TCG Battling at 10, and dominated the Tokyo underworld of anime at 17...
A/N- Well, how dyall like it so far? I am writing this because I read Kill Phil, volume one, and I am too tired of waiting for volume 2, plus, i wanted to write a kill bill funny of my own, and upon reading Kil Phil, i found places where i could insert my own little funnies...
Please R/R, and if you havent read KILL PHIL, By SPONGE, please do so!