Disclaimer: Still am not the owner of Teen Titans…I hoped you aren't too shocked…

---

The sky shown brilliantly through the window of the Titan Tower, looking especially pleased by its own brilliance. It was neither too hot nor too cold outside, and the entire day practically screamed happiness.

"Oh, joyous morning!" Starfire flew into the kitchen, her arms outstretched to take it all in. Cyborg and Beast Boy were already up, both preparing breakfast…well during the moments they weren't arguing at one another.

"Do you know how many things had to die for you to eat?" Beast Boy cried, whimpering as Cyborg added another slice of bacon into the mix.

"Don't be jealous of my man food." Cyborg snickered.

"Come on, tofu is sooo much better." He swung his plate around, the entire contents jiggling unnaturally. Robin strolled in, shaking his head at both of them. Starfire rushed to his side, looking him pleadingly in the eye.

"Now may I go ask Raven to join us?" It sounded like she had been waiting all morning to ask that question. Which, considering it was her, that probably was the case.

"Sure—just don't—" Before he could finish his sentence, Starfire had shrieked in delight and whisked down the hallway. "—make her more upset by dragging her out here."

"Too late for that." Cyborg laughed. Beast Boy on the other hand had a thoughtful expression on his face, and abandoned his breakfast to go stand nearer where Starfire, and hopefully Raven would be returning.

---

Raven was sitting cross-legged on the ground, staring blankly at the nearby wall. For once she wasn't meditating…simply looking vacantly ahead as her mind refused to think of anything at all. Anything she thought would only hurt her. Anything she felt would only hurt her. She would abandon them both.

A loud knocking on her door broke her out of her trance, and very slowly, she got to her feet. Beast Boy? "Friend Raven! I wish for you to partake in the morning meal with us!" No…Starfire. For some reason the pit of her stomach had tightened during the brief moment she thought the green boy had come to check on her again, but now it was gone.

Opening the door slowly, she saw Starfire with a huge smile plastered on her face. "Please?" She asked again.

"Sure." The red haired girl managed to smile even wider and looked utterly delighted. "So long as you don't cook." Raven allowed herself to be dragged by the excited girl back into the living room. Today…she would allow it. To engrave each of her friends into her memories. Her entire body felt numb, completely disconnected from her psyche. Inside, her mind hated herself. Inside, her mind wanted nothing more then to go back to the dark, back to where she belonged.

It was a struggle not to rip her arm out of the Tamaranian's grasp.

The room grew quiet as they entered, each of the Titans looking at the two as though expecting some sort of reaction. She noticed Beast Boy fidgeting to the side, looking like he was just about to say something before rushing back into the kitchen.

"Let us all feast together with Raven!" Starfire cried to the others in the group.

"Great idea—want some eggs and bacon?" Cyborg asked her.

"Ooor, you could have the much better, the muuuch tastier—Tofu eggs and bacon!" Beast Boy's voice cut in. Normally she would not eat either. Normally, she would be content with just a cup of tea, and maybe some toast if she was really hungry. Her stomach twisted at the sight of food.

"I'll have both." Came her quiet response. Against what she wanted. Everything…The changeling just looked at her in shock that she agreed to eat tofu, while Cyborg had a similar reaction.

"Hungry?"

"Not really." Raven noticed everyone eyes were on her again, and in her mind, she suddenly knew what was going on. Starfire asking her to breakfast. The kind, worried expressions on everyone's faces. They knew what had happened. They knew and felt sorry for her. They pitied her. Why else would they act as though she belonged? They hadn't cared for awhile.

Beast Boy must have said something. Why am I still here? Her mind intervened again. She didn't belong here. She didn't deserve this. She was the evil person that killed Malvern. She had to die…for the good of everyone.

For the good of herself.

---

Breakfast was an odd experience for Beast Boy. He was elated that she was eating his tofu, his tofu. But…everything was out of place. She was acting oddly detached, agreeing with almost anything people said…just kind of going with the flow. Maybe this is how she deals with emotions like these? He didn't know. But…it didn't feel right.

When she looked around, her gaze was blank. Her skin was pale, and the dark circles under her eyes suggested she didn't sleep much the previous night. Did no one else see the fact that her hand was trembling as she held up her fork?

Then again, he was staring at her rather intently.

Once breakfast was over, Starfire was right back at Raven's side, apparently taking Robin's suggestion of being there for her quite literally. Beast Boy couldn't help but feel a little jealous. I could go over there and hang with her too. He thought to himself.

"Raven! Why do we not go together to the mall of shop—" Just as she was about to finish, a beeping sound echoed through the tower. Robin immediately rushed to the computer.

"Robbery in progress at the bank—Titans move out!" He shouted, rushing through the door. Everyone followed quickly behind, the last to leave being Raven and Beast Boy.

"If…you'd rather rest or anything…" He started to say, but was stopped by her glowering eyes.

"Let's go." She pushed him aside, but in a moment of sudden curiosity and worry, he grabbed her wrist to stop her. Raven turned and looked at him.

Dang it. Now he had to say something. "Raven—you can't just keep pretending nothings wrong." He finally managed to get out.

"Let go of my wrist." She said very quietly.

"Stop acting like some emotionless machine and maybe I will." He said right back. Why couldn't she see how much he was worrying about her? The shaking of her wrist in his hand started to scare him.

"I have to be emotionless." Black magic flared up, tearing his hand away. Turning around, she walked out the door, Beast Boy hurrying behind her.

The other Titans were already battling the thief when they got there. It was a freaky ten foot tall, tentacle man thing, who was currently batting off Robin's frontal assault while being shot by Cyborg's sonic cannon and Starfire's star bolts.

"What too yall so long? The party's already started!" Cyborg grunted good naturally, diving out of the way as one tentacle smashed into the ground he had previously been standing.

Leaping into the fray, Beast Boy turned Tyrannosaurus and head butted the creature, sending him crashing into the wall. The guy simply bounced off and roared loudly in response, sending a couple of tentacles shooting like spears towards the changeling. Morphing into a small bird, he dodged the attack.

Raven meanwhile picked up several metal bars with her powers and twisted it around the creature, attempting to restrain it. For a moment, it looked like it would be enough to hold him, that is until the metal was flung back with an eerie snapping sound, shattering into pieces. Robin dodged a metal shard and whipped out his boomerang, sending it flying in hopes of knocking the creature down.

"Cyborg, Star!" He cried, the other two already on it. Cyborg rushed at the creature, slamming into it in full force, sending the already off balance monster crashing into the ground. Starfire followed suit with a rain of missiles, joined soon by Raven. The creature started to get back up, when Beast Boy, changing from a small rodent to a giant squid, wrapped his own tentacle arms around the creature.

Trapped, it looked like the titans had won…until it opened its mouth and spat acidic fluids over at the unsuspecting members. Beast Boy barely managed to dodge the attack, one of his shoes hissing as it was brushed with the gooey liquid.

"Why do all monsters have to spit acid? That's sooo gross." He stuck out his tongue.

Starfire let out a war cry and started forward, flying with all her might at the beast. She dodged his tentacles and spit, and started punching the creature violently. Cyborg shot upwards at the ceiling, sending a rain of debris crashing into the weakening creature. It shuttered, then lay silent.

"Nice work you two." Robin complimented, earning a giggle from the pleased girl. Suddenly, the rocks trembled, one of its tentacles attempting its final attack. It was heading straight for...Raven.

"Raven!" He shouted, turning cheetah as he rushed towards her. She was watching it come at her…she saw it…she had to see it. But she wasn't moving. Beast Boy felt himself shrink down as he realized there was no way he could make it in time…his heart was pounding as it was about to hit her when…

She went flying out of the way, tackled by Cyborg. Beast Boy felt a huge weight lift off him at the save. "Eh, not see the tentacle heading towards your face?" Cyborg asked her, lifting her to her feet before dusting himself off. She shook her head.

"I was…distracted." She wasn't distracted. She definitely saw it coming. Either way….the monster was beat, the town save and Raven was alright. Or so he liked to think she was alright.

---

The creature could have killed her. As she stood there, watching the tentacle heading at her, she realized how easy it would be. It was an accident, they'd later say. A horrible accident.

Not everything works out that way.

Shaking her head, she saw the worried expressions of her fellow members. Raven didn't say anything, just started to walk out the building, tired of the looks of sympathy, the false understanding.

Returning to the Tower, Starfire immediately claimed her again, insisting they watch a movie together, and later play cards with the other members. Everything felt so ordinary…so overly nice and simply. Everyone was acting like she was glass that could break at any moment. Perhaps…that's what happened to her. She was broken glass needing to be cleaned up.

---

Beast Boy pulled Robin and Cyborg to the side as Starfire continued to keep the darker girl occupied. "Heey, Raven's acting really weird." Came his frantic whisper.

"Her friend committed suicide. No matter how horrible of a guy he have been, she's hurting." Robin immediately responded. "She's trying to cope right now."

"Think of how you acted after Terra?" The half man half machine said firmly. Beast Boy winced at the reference. "You moped around for weeks—she's just doing the opposite."

"Um, ouch—I might be over her, but you don't have to bring it up." He groaned. Still, there was something wrong. They both thought she was just trying to cope…but…

---

If felt the day would never end, but once it did, it felt that it had ended all too soon. Raven, saying goodnight to her fellow teammates, headed into her room. Inside, she carefully closed the door, locking it shut behind her. The room…while still a mess….was nothing compared to the writhing emotions inside her.

The dark shadows on her walls seemed to spin around her, laughing at her foolish attempt at an ordinary day. Laughing at her weakness in putting off the inevitable. She needed to die, for the good of everyone. No one needed her. No one wanted her. Malvern left her, killed because she had come into his life. The least she could do was to repay the favor.

Pulling back the curtains in her room, her form was flooded in moonlight. Her eyes had a glimmer of uncertainty in them, but the uncertainty was overridden by the sheer feelings inside of her. A knife levitated slowly to her hands, the glimmering off the blade reminding her of the light she could never be.

End this all…no more feelings…no more fear…She ignored any doubts as the blade slowly ran down her wrists, opening a flow of crimson. Alone...nothing more then darkness. A second pass deepened the wound, and she felt satisfaction at the pain that was starting to envelop her. She deserved it all. She needed it to remind herself…that no matter how dark she had become, she was still, somewhere human, somewhere…mortal.

What seemed like hours, she stood at her wrist, watching as the red trail dripped in horrid wetness down onto the floor. Another flick of the knife. It was like she was proving herself she could do this. She had control of her life…for once. She was deciding the outcome. She would beat the darkness in her…herself….

Feeling dizzy, she slid between the bed and the wall, still staring up at her window, her arms hanging to her side like broken wings. The light grew hazy, and she welcomed the night that took her in.

---

Beast Boy tossed and turned into his bed. Raven. She was on his mind. Was she all right? Was she feeling better about the Malvern incident? Would she talk to him now? A part of him wanted to go knock on her door. The other part of him wanted to stay right here, and not try to offer help where it wasn't wanted.

It was a battle between the two sides, and finally, to shut them both up and get some sleep, he stood, feeling it would be fine to just check on her.

Knocking on the door, he wasn't too surprised when no answer came. "Raven?" He asked. "Um…I just wanted to see how you were doing?" Still nothing. Despite himself, he was getting a little irritated. "Heey—you don't have to ignore me!" He called. Again, nothing. "Well fine then!" He stomped away, getting all the way back to his room before turning back into the hall.

And suddenly he was in front of Ravens door again.

He was both seething and worried. She wasn't responding, but that could mean she was mad at him. Maybe she realized he had told everyone…maybe she was angry at him because of it. Gripping one hand around the knob, he decided to risk getting her more upset and attempted to open the door. It was locked. Frowning, he pulled harder. Nobody ever locked their rooms.

The worrying feeling grew worse. She was alone in a locked room, and not in the best of moods. Morphing into a giant bear, he easily smashed the door opening, then strolled inside. It remained a huge mess, but there was no Raven to be found. The curtains were hung open, exposing the darkened corners with silver light, unmasking most areas that she could be hiding.

"Raven?" He said after a moment, walking into the room. "I just broke your door and am coming into your room uninvited," He taunted, but the shakiness of his voice wasn't helping him hide negative feelings he was getting from this situation. Walking from one end of the room all the way to the window, he felt his forehead furrow in concentration. Maybe she's meditating on the roof. Or maybe she got hungry…or maybe, just maybe, she really has been getting kidnapped by space aliens.

"Gah, this is ridiculous." He threw his hands up in defeat. Here he was worrying about a girl that wasn't even there. Turning back, he suddenly slipped to the ground. For a moment he laid there, his eyes widening with nauseating realization.

The ground felt…sticky…and smelled of both copper and iron. Looking at his hands, his body beginning to shake, he realized they were stained red…

He felt sick. The entire time, his brain was not connecting with any of this. There was blood on the floor. He was lying in blood. Twisting his neck around to the other side, he could see underneath the bed, where Raven was laying, her head facing towards him. Her eyes were half open, her hair caressing her face in gentle waves.

He didn't think. Changing into his gorilla form, he threw the bed to the far corner of the room and shifted back, cradling her in his arms. He ran out the room, grateful he had smashed the door open, and ran towards the infirmary, all the while shouting to each Titan by name. His heartbeat was loud in his ears as the door to the infirmary swished open, and he was finding it difficult to breathe as he set Raven down onto the hard surface of the doctor's table.

She looked so pale…gashes ran through her wrists and he found himself wrapping a hand around each one, his grip refusing to lesson as he willed for them to stop bleeding. All this blood….it wasn't natural….how much had she lost? What was going on? How could she…did she really?

He was barely aware of the strangled gasps of the Titans behind him, awakened by his frantic calls. "Beast Boy…" Robin gently pried his fingers from Ravens wrists, wrapping them tightly with white gauze while Cyborg was running a diagnostic on Raven.

"Who has done this to her?" Starfire rumbled, her eyes turning green.

"She did." He mumbled softly. The Tamaranian's fury vanished replaced with simple shock.

"But…why—"

"She's lost a lot of blood…but she's stable. If you…hadn't found her when you did…" Cyborg trailed off, unable to finish his statement.

"Damn it." Robin slammed one fist into the wall. Starfire sat, huddled in the corner, looking more and more confused. She didn't understand suicide….she couldn't understand how someone could try to intentionally hurt themselves.

"She's going to be out for a few days." Cyborg said after a moment, who had been busy cleaning Raven's wounds and fixing her up. "But…one of us should be here…just in case…"

"I'm staying." Beast Boy said instantly, daring anyone to argue with him. Robin gently grabbed him by the shoulder.

"I don't thi—"

"I am staying." He repeated. The leader just nodded.

"Just...go change clothes first." Beast Boy looked down, seeing his own outfit drenched in blood…in Raven's blood.

"Oh."

"Starfire---could you get a clean outfit for Raven as well?" Robin told the girl. She nodded demurely and slowly walked out of the room.

Beast Boy headed slowly down the hall, his fists tightening by his sides. Raven tried to kill herself. Why? Why would she do something like that? How could she be so stupid? How could he be so stupid? He should have seen the signs…why didn't he….why…

Looking into the mirror, he felt he had just come from another world. Dark red stains covered his body…crimson painted onto his hands and face. He tried to wash it of, scrubbing his skin raw, still feeling as though it was coating his entire body. Her blood.

Nothing was right anymore.

Raven…had gotten lost somewhere…he didn't know when it happened, but she was so far down a darkened path that he could hardly see her anymore. It was like he was running in the dark, after that one speck of light…that was slowly going out.

Slamming both fists into the wall, he glared angrily down to the ground, unwanted tears feeding his eyes.

He wasn't going to loose Raven.

---

Another chapter down….I've been wanting to work on this for a few days now, but I had a final exam this week---summer classes are officially over! Let the break begin….for the few weeks until school starts…joy….

A big thanks for those who reviewed last chapter!

Aaannd with that said:

Please Review!