Hey, sorry I haven't updated in so long, but first week of the summer hols has been busy…and rainy. Then this week my computer's been a bit dodgy and I've been stressing over the hazard perception part of my car theory test (which I passed- so yay!).

Disclaimer: I don't own the O.C.

Hailey

Hey sis,

I'm glad you're holding up okay. Keep at it, you hear me? I'm sorry I've had to come back to Japan, wish I could have stayed longer, but I have some business to take care of (oh God I'm starting to sound like Dad.) Don't worry; I'll definitely be back the second you get out. I can't see me being much use to you while you're in rehab anyway. We'll spend some time together once you get out, do sister stuff. I'm sorry if I sound too formal, I'm not really very good at writing letters. Don't know the last time I wrote one to be honest. No, wait a minute. 9th grade, love letter to some guy. Yeah…I don't think you want me to write like that.

Until I return, I think you'll be, uh, relieved to know that your family is being taken care of by none other than our delightful stepmother (note the sarcasm). I can't believe you actually count her as one of your closest friends. We need to do something about that Kiks, stat. I mean, you can't count the Newpsies as real friends and I think since Jimmy left you've been lacking a proper friend. Which is why you and Julie have become closer. Because she, the wicked witch of the West, is also desperate to have a friend. (I'd get the hell outta there while you still can Kiks. Julie Cooper is not a woman you want to be bestest buds with. Need I remind you of the time not so long ago when she shoved your beloved little sister, aka moi, into your pool?) Ok, so I have no great love of her, but I suppose, if you really really really like her, I could make allowances. But don't expect us to get along sis. She's like, the Lindsay Lohan to my Hilary Duff, or…I can't think of anyone old…er that you might know. I bet Seth has a ton of examples. Oh! She is the kryptonite to my Superman. (Take that Seth!)

Julie and Jimmy. Who would have thunk it? Okay, I knew I wouldn't be with Jimmy forever, but it still hurt, that the second, practically the second I left he started banging Miss I'm-So-Evil-Just-Give-Me-The-Freaking-Horns-Already. Yeah, he told me. Jimmy's not so good with, well, not exactly lying, but concealing the truth, shall we say. I think Jimmy's a sucker for her, seeing as it was his fault the marriage broke up, or so he thinks. Personally, I think if you marry a tart with a heart of stone, what can you expect? But you're still number one to him Kiks. I bet he'd drop Julie like a hot potato for one night with you. Don't look at me like that, missy, you know I'm right. And I went out with him too, so I know. And I'm sorry about before, we didn't mean for you to find out about our relationship like that (although Julie's face? Priceless.) Looking back, that relationship was doomed before it even began. Me, because I had always had a crush on him, but on the Jimmy who was head of the soccer team, sexiest male at Harbour High 1986. Jimmy, because he was looking for a Kirsten substitute (and do you know how much I have always hated that? Living in your shadow.) And now that the mighty has fallen it feels flat. Guess there's a part of everyone that wants Kirsten Nichol/Cohen to be perfect. When I was younger, all I wanted was for you to seem more…more human, and now I've seen it, I wish things could go back to the way before. Weird, ain't it?

I'm missing you, Kiks, which is strange, because it's not like I've ever hung around for long in good ole Newport. I think it's knowing that you're not there; you're in Suriak, which by the way, sounds like a piece of crappy Ikea furniture. What was Sandy thinking? Anyway, I guess I feel I can bounce off the walls because there's a steady normal, whenever I need it, at your place. And these past few weeks, with just the boys, it's not the same. I mean, don't get me wrong, they've been great to me, but they're going through some rough stuff as well, and I didn't feel that I could freeload off them for much longer. Maybe it's only you I can feel free to feel like that. And it's not even that Dad's gone which is making me feel alienated from Newport. I guess it's because he's never been around for long either, for as long as I can remember he's never stayed at home for long. Although this past year he seemed to settle down a bit…

God, I miss him, sis. I miss the way he would always give me anything I wanted- not because I need money or anything, Kiks, but the fact that he wanted to give me the world. He was never great at feelings, but he always made me feel good this way. I took advantage I know, but the reason we got along so well is because I inherited Caleb Nichol's materialistic pleasure. But he loved you more Kirsten. I mean, he never would have said it but he always had a soft spot for you. I think he's always been a bit hurt that you were more of a Mommas girl, as if you consciously made that choice to hurt him or something. I remember after she died and you kinda went off the rails at him, he just didn't know what to do with you. I guess he was always an ignore it or thrust money at it till it goes away kind of guy, and with you not wanting or doing either, he was at his wits end. I was still at home then, and I thought it was so funny the way he just did not know what to do. I never saw Dad so lost for words before or since.

Don't blame yourself, or feel guilty because the last things you said to him were harsh. I know you will, but you shouldn't because he still loved you, you know, you were still his little "Kiki". I bet you won't miss that will you? You probably will actually, I know I'll miss it. Although Ju-Ju will probably take on the nickname. Caleb Nichol living through Julie Cooper? Now there's a truly scary thought!

Chin up, sis, and think of the good times. You can even think of Julie pushing me in the pool if it makes you smile, although don't tell anyone I said that, ok? You'll get through this, I know you will.

I'll see you at home Kiks.

All my love,

Hails

xxxxx

P.S. If you get back before me, and wonder what happened to the lamp…uh, Seth did it.

A/N: So I've come to the end of my firm choices, I shall probably do Lindsay and Carter, but I don't know if I'll do anyone else. I won't be doing Marissa, like some of you asked, because I want to leave what happened to her vague (like, if she's in jail or a mental home or if she got off scott-free or what). I also won't be doing Kirsten because I don't think she would address everyone in one letter unless it was short (e.g. to say I'm coming home).

Also, I'd really like it if you could read over another of my fics, And the World Came Crumbling Down, because it's the first time I've attempted something like it and I would love some constructive input, good or bad. Thanks as always!