Chapter 9

Nerys slowly lowered herself back into a sitting position, Dukat's hand still clutching her arm. She glanced toward it and he quickly released her, looking almost embarrassed to realize he still had hold of her.

Once she was seated, her nervousness returned and she looked down at the hologram that Dukat had set down beside him. She asked softly, "So, what would you like to know?" Realizing that she was going to stay, at least for the moment, Dukat settled back into a seated position.

"Anything you want to tell me. I know so little..." it pained him to think about it. He had stopped to see her whenever he could, but he realized that there were large parts of his daughter's life since she had come to the station that couldn't be covered in the short visits they'd had. And he'd had so little time to try and make up for it...

So Kira began to talk. She had been unsure of what to say at first, telling him her favorite color, foods, and such, but he had shortly interrupted her with a quick shake of his head, "No major, tell me about her." So she did.

Kira didn't know how long they had been talking. Somehow, their talk of Ziyal had drifted to other topics and she was surprised to find out how much they really did have in common. He had a surprisingly wide range of interests and his knowledge of her culture was truly impressive. Even so, by seemingly unspoken consent, they had not asked each other any genuinely personal questions. But there was one question that had been burning in her mind ever since they had rescued Ziyal from the Breen. She knew she would probably never have a better chance than now to assuage her curiosity. Gathering her courage and praying to the Prophets that she wasn't about to make a colossal mistake, she asked him.

"Did you love her?"

Dukat looked slightly puzzled, "Ziyal?"

Kira shook her head sharply, "No, I know you loved Ziyal. I was asking about her mother, Naprem. I mean, I know you said you did, once, but..."

He sat back against the wall and looked down at his hands, "But you didn't really believe me. Tell me, major, would it matter to you one way or the other if I did?"

Kira realized she may have overstepped their unspoken bounds and started to apologize but he stopped her with a gesture. "No, no. It's a valid question and it deserves an answer," he looked up and caught her eyes, "Yes, I did love Naprem. She was a beautiful woman and she had a good heart. Ziyal took after her in that respect."

Well, Kira thought, to quote the good doctor, in for a penny, in for a pound.

"What about your wife? Did you love her as well?"

He looked slightly startled at her question, but then dropped his gaze to his hands again.

"I can see by that question that you know very little of the nature of Cardassian marriage," he sighed and leaned his back against the wall, casting his gaze to the ceiling. Should he tell her? Would it make any difference if he did?

He was silent so long that Kira had decided he wasn't going to answer the question, but then he stirred and looked over at her.

"On Cardassia, marriages are arranged between the members of the noble houses. I was 20 and she 15 when our marriage was made. It was just before my first tour of duty. We had never met each other before the day of our wedding. Galena was a beautiful girl, but she and I had nothing in common. On the night of our wedding, she told me that she was in love with the son of the house of Doro and that she would give me children as was required by law but that otherwise she would appreciate it if I left her alone. Shortly after that, I left for my first assignment. I was stationed on Terok Nor for a little over a year before I met Naprem. She was the complete opposite of Galena. She was so...passionate about life. I couldn't help but love her. And then she gave me Ziyal. By then, Galena had already borne our first four children." He slanted a glance at Kira, "I love all my children, major, but I saw them so rarely and like all Cardassian children, they were sent away to school very young. Ziyal was here. I saw her learn to walk and talk and it was obvious from the start that she had her mother's temperament. She was such a loving child." He seemed lost in thought for a moment, but before Kira could say anything, he seemed to come back to himself and continued on.

"And then came the end of the Occupation. I knew I couldn't take them back to Cardassia, it would be a death sentence. And I had seen how the Bajorans treated those of their own who became collaborators and those half-caste children who were among them. The only choice I could see was to send them away, hopefully somewhere they could live in relative peace. I think it hurt Naprem as much to go as it did me to have to send her, but she realized it was for the best and I was resolved to be content knowing they were alive and happy...and then the Ravinok disappeared. And I had nothing. So I went back home and tried to give my life some meaning again by giving Galena and myself another child. But I found out very quickly that you can't replace one child with another and my wife made it quite clear that she would rather I was anywhere but there. So I left."

Kira was utterly stunned at what he had just told her. She tried to digest the information he had given her. A thought struck her as she contemplated what he'd said.

"Wait a minute. Dukat, I thought you had seven children by your wife."

"My wife, major, has seven children. Counting Ziyal, I have six."

Kira was amazed, "So, you mean..."

"If you're thinking what I'm sure you are, major, then you would be correct."

"But, how could that be? I thought illegitimate children were slaughtered in Cardassian society. Afterwhat you just said about 'a death sentence'..."

"And who was to say they were illegitimate? Galena and I were still officially married, any children she had were, by all legal standards, mine."

"So you just let her get away with doing that? Wasn't there anything you could do?"

Dukat looked at her irritably, "What was I supposed to do, major? Cardassian society does not recognize divorce. Publicly denounce her to obtain an annulment? If I had done that then D'nai and Teleth would have been put to death and my children would have ended up being raised by the state. Galena, admittedly, has been anything but the loving wife, but, to give her credit, she has always been devoted to the children."

"But you could be punished for having Ziyal." Kira said flatly.

Dukat lookedbitterly amused. "Well, it is much easier to prove infidelity on the part of the male, especially when there is a child involved. And Ziyal was no longer in danger. Since she wasn't a 'true' Cardassian, there was found no reason to kill her. Society wasn't as tense as it was just after the Occupation. No one cared. After all, I was hardly the first officer to have a half-Bajoran child; my crime was admitting it. And at least Galena was finally able to get what she wanted."

"That being?"

"When a case of infidelity can be proved, then the marriage in question can be annulled. So, she returned to her father's house and shortly there after married Gul Doros."

"While you lost everything."

"Oh, I wouldn't say everything, Major. I still had my health...and Ziyal."

A shadow seemed to drop over his countenance at her name and he looked down, forlornly gazing at the holo of Ziyal.

Kira hated to admit it, but she was being forced to reevaluate some of her earlier preconceptions about him. It was greatly disturbing to her to have to admit to herself that maybe Dukat wasn't quite the paragon of evil she had always assumed him to be. It was equally disturbing to her to think that she had misjudged someone else so badly. She by no means thought of him as a saint but she could no longer convince herself that he was completely the cold-hearted, cruel man she had always accused him of being. She looked at him from the cover of her lashes. He was still looking at the holo of Ziyal. He's just a man. And right now, he's a man with a lot of regrets and pain to deal with. She heard Ziyal's words echoing in her head. Kira continued to look at him since his attention was now off of her. Perhaps the one thing that had always bothered her the most about him was that, deep down, she had harboured an attraction to him. Kira knew she had always had a weakness for powerful, authoritative male figures. Anyone could look at her track record and know that. And he had always had both qualities in abundance. No matter what he was doing, he had always exuded the impression that he was in absolute control. Even on that waste of a freighter, he had somehow managed to keep that sense of dignity, even while his pride had apparently taken a blow from it. She had admired that ability. It had been a large part of the reason she had helped them capture that Bird of Prey. However, she had fought tooth and nail to crush her attraction to him. It had always made her feel like a traitor to her own people to even consider it. And it had always made any interaction between the two of them extremely difficult. What made it even worse was that he had never tried to hide the fact that he found her equally attractive. She had always been terrified that he would somehow find out about her illicit feelings and use them against her. Therefore, she had tried to be as abrasive and unpleasant as possible.

And she had always been able to justify her behavior with the knowledge that, no matter how cruel and offensive she was, he had deserved every bit of it. His hatred for and cruelty to her people was proof of that.

But now she was being forced to wonder. Had she been as misled about that as about everything else? What was truth and what was lie? How could she possibly uncover the truth?