Author's Note: Hey all. Long time no see, eh? Yes, is it that obvious that I'm Canadian? Anyway, sorry it took so long to update this chapter, but I've been really busy, and haven't really felt any push to update this story at all. Finally, I just sat my ass down and decided to do it. I hope that it turns out okay, for your sake and for mine. Don't forget to review and tell me what you think.

……….FYITM……….

"Can you believe that we only have one more day like this?" Brooke asked as she and Haley made their way into her room to change. They had spent the rest of the previous day lounging around the house, deciding that it wasn't the bed idea to go anywhere outside the house again.

"Are you kidding?" Haley asked, throwing Brooke one of her spare bathing suits. Actually, she was pretty sure that was Brooke's from last year, when they first got the hot tub put in the backyard. "This has been like the longest weekend of my life."

"But it was fun still, right?" Brooke asked, catching the suit and smiling when she noticed that it was her's. "I mean, I know that we've been best friends since forever, and that hasn't changed at all since we got to high school, but I just felt like we've started to drift apart lately, and that's the last thing I want to happen."

"Don't be silly," Haley assured her, making sure that she didn't turn around to sneak a peek at the changing girl behind her. She continued to search through her drawer, looking for her other suit, but she couldn't fine it. She frowned when the only one she could find was Taylor's red bikini. "We're just as close as we've always been."

"You promise?" Brooke asked, glancing quickly at Haley before going back to trying to get her suit on. She hated the thought of drifting away from Haley; she just couldn't imagine not having Haley in her life. "Cause I kinda thought that I haven't really been around that often…Haley?"

"Huh?" Haley snapped out of her thoughts, tearing her eyes away from the strings of material she was going to have to wear and looked at Brooke. She felt her heart catch in her throat slightly when she spotted her in her short shorts and bikini top, not fully dressed yet.

"You okay?" Brooke asked, more than a little concerned about her. She had been noticing that Haley had been zoning out quite a lot this past weekend. "You were gone there for a moment."

"Oh, I'm good," Haley reassured her. She suddenly had the courage to wear that damn bikini. She wanted to try to make Brooke have the same reaction to her that she had just had. Even though she knew that it probably wasn't possible, she could at least try. "I promise, we're good."

"Good," Brooke nodded, giving the biggest smile she could. "Cause I don't think I could handle it if you weren't in my life." Haley felt her heart sink at her words, feeling just terrible that she was lying to the best friend she could ever hope to have.

"Yeah," Haley whispered, her voice cracking a bit. She blinked rapid in an attempt to stop the tears. "Me too." She turned around and started taking off her shirt, knowing that Brooke would turn around as well. Before long, both girls were changed and ready to go to the hot tub.

"You ready?" Brooke asked without turning around. She was more than tempted, just the thought of Haley being completely naked no more than a foot away from her was driving her crazy, but she somehow found it in herself to stay in control. She could feel Haley's shirt around her wrist so she figured she was dressed, but she didn't want to take any chances.

"Yep," Haley answered, both nervous and excited about being clad only in the small bikini in front of Brooke. She knew that she didn't have a terrible body, but she thought that compared to Brooke's she would look ridiculous. "Let's head out." She didn't give Brooke a chance to turn around before quickly moving forward and pulling her best friend with her.

"Whoa, whoa," Brooke called out, finally finding her voice once they were outside on the back deck. The house wasn't that big, nor was the backyard, but for some reason they had a huge ass hot tub. They came to a halt just in front of the water and Brooke finally got to stare at Haley. "Holy mother of God, Huggie!"

"What?"

"Where the hell have you been hiding that fine ass body?" Brooke didn't care what she sounded like, Haley just looked too damn yummy not to say anything. All of a sudden, she wasn't so sure about her brilliant idea of going in the hot tub. On one hand, she was certainly over the moon happy at being able to stare at the hotness that was her best friend, but on the other hand, she didn't know if she'd be able to control herself.

"Funny, Bunny," Haley replied, ignoring the fact that the words rhymed, but she caught the momentary smirk on Brooke lips. She could tell that she was blushing, but she didn't let that ruin how amazing she felt inside at Brooke's words. It was like everything was gone and for a split second, it was all perfect.

"I swear to you," Brooke began, as they slowly lowered themselves in the water, careful that they didn't get their shirts, which were dangling on the chain that connected the two cuffs together, wet. They had discovered on Saturday morning that they weren't able to take their shirts off so they were stuck wearing the same thing all weekend. "I have never seen someone look that fine in a bikini."

"Please, have you seen you in a bikini?" Haley asked, but grimaced when she realized how that must sound. Brooke rolled her eyes, already used to the fact that Haley was unable to take a compliment, waved her off.

"Whatever," Brooke sighed, repositioning herself in her seat, so her back wasn't directly in front of the jet. She suddenly felt all her worries start to drain away. "You're gorgeous, admit it." Haley blushed at her words, but didn't say anything, deciding instead to just stare at Brooke.

"Whatever you say, Brookie," Haley finally sighed, getting comfortable in her own spot. She always liked hot tubs, but she hardly ever went into her's because she hated being in a bathing suit, but they didn't have anything else to do, and Brooke had begged her to go in, so se agreed.

"I've been waiting my entire life for you to say those beautiful words to me."

"You know it's just a saying, right?" Haley asked, eyeing her best friend to make sure that she wasn't being serious. "You don't really get whatever you say you want."

"I'm currently relaxing in a hot tub, am I not?" Brooke asked, her eyes closed and a wide smile on her face. She turned her head towards where she knew Haley was sitting, but didn't open her eyes. "Face it, Huggie, I've got you wrapped around my finger, and I always have."

"That's just because you're so cute," Haley answered without thinking about it. Her eyes widened as she silently cursed herself for saying that. Did she just blow everything? But Brooke calls her cute all the time. It's a normal best friend thing, wasn't it? It certainly didn't feel normal.

"You're one to talk," Brooke replied as if she didn't find the comment weird at all. Even though she was doing a little happy dance inside, she wouldn't let Haley see that. Haley could see the smirk threatening to break through on Brooke's lips, but didn't comment on it. She decided that she would use this time for some much needed relaxation. They have pretty much been talking non-stop all weekend; she didn't think it would hurt to sit in silence for a little bit.

Brooke seemed to have the same idea, as she wiggled her hips a little to get in the most comfortable position possible, before slipping her sunglasses over her eyes and closing them. She could still hear the hum of the hot tub, signaling that it was still on and she could definitely feel Haley's presence beside her, both from the sound of her breathing and the fact that their arms were both spread out over the edge to keep their shirts from getting soaked.

Neither of them planned on staying outside for long, not wanting to get burnt or anything, but their half an hour-long soak quickly turned into a little bit more when both girls ended up falling asleep.

About an hour and a half later, Brooke began to stir away, cursing herself for waking up at the best part of her dream. She and Haley were just about to start getting intimate when she slipped back into the land of the living. After quickly trying to go back to her dream, and failing miserably, Brooke let out a puff of air in frustration and decided to go with her next choice; Haley watching.

She shifted her eyes to look at her best friend, keeping her glasses on and not tilting her encase the other girl was awake too. She was surprised to find that Haley was still sleeping and was happy to know that she could stare without worrying about getting caught.

"Yummy," she mumbled under her breath as her eyes dragged over Haley's body. She always knew that Haley was one hot mama, but she had no idea that she had been hiding that fine body. Everything about her made Brooke weak in the knees. Before she had been adorable and beautiful, now she was both of those things plus hot and damn sexy.

Brooke smiled softly at how relaxed and cute Haley looked, stretched out over the edge, her head resting comfortably on the edge as well. Brooke racked her eyes off of Haley's face to look at the rest of her. She felt guilty to be checking her out like that while she was unaware of the attention, but Haley was just looking too fine not to look at.

There wasn't part on Haley's body that didn't make Brooke hot. Her neck was sexy, her shoulder where nicely tanned, her arms toned and her hands tiny, a perfect fit with her own. As Brooke's eyes lingered on Haley's hands, something caught her eye. Suddenly having a terrible feeling, Brooke pushed herself up from her lounging position and took off her sunglasses to get a better look.

"What the…" she whispered under her breath, as she squinted to get a better look at Haley's lower arm. She gently slid over, careful not to hit Haley's attached arm and wake her. She felt all the food that she had eaten all weekend suddenly try to make a comeback. Were those what she thought they were?

"Haley?" Brooke asked, her voice barely above a whisper. She could taste the bile starting to rise in the back of her throat at the very thought. When the other girl didn't respond, Brooke moved closer and tried again. "Haley?" Nothing. "Haley!" she yelled, shaking the girl awake. Haley jolted awake, frantically looking to see what the sudden problem was.

"What?" she asked frantically. "What? What?" She was surprised to find Brooke sitting so close to her, but she certainly wasn't going to complain. Especially after that dream she just had. The look on Brooke's face, however, didn't look very promising. Haley subconsciously sat up straighter. "What's going on?"

"What the hell is this?" Brooke asked, getting straight to the point and reaching across Haley to grab a hold of her free arm. She held it up to examine the old scars and what seemed to be a fairly fresh cut. "Please tell me this isn't what I think it is."

"It's none of your business," Haley snapped, trying to break her arm free from Brooke's grip. She couldn't believe that she had been so stupid as to fall asleep. She had been worried about this when Brooke suggested they got in, but she figured that as long as she was careful to hide the inside of her arm, then she'd be okay.

"None of my business?" Brooke asked incredulously, her voice raising a few decimals. "God damn it, Haley. You're my best friend, you mean everything to me. I sure as hell think that it's my business when you start to cut yourself."

"Do you want to keep it down?" Haley hissed, glancing around her backyard to make sure that none of her neighbours heard what Brooke was yelling. It was horrible enough that Brooke knew about this now; she didn't want the whole freaking town to know her business.

"Don't tell me to be quiet," Brooke shot back, her voice still full of anger. She wasn't sure who she was angrier at; Haley for doing this or herself for not noticing. It didn't really matter right now, all that did matter, was getting answers from Haley. "This is serious, Haley."

"Thank you, tips," Haley whispered under her breath; starting to get scared of the way Brooke was acting. This was exactly why she didn't want to tell her in the first place. She knew that Brooke was going to act like this.

"I can't believe that you would…" Brooke started to berate her, but stopped when she saw the terrified look on Haley's face. Suddenly all of the anger in Brooke's body was washed away and replaced with sadness, guilt and fear. She moved closer to Haley, brushing some loose hair out of her face. "Huggie Bear, why would you do that to yourself?"

"I don't know," Haley sighed, both at her answer and at the tears that started to roll down her cheeks. Brooke wasted no time whipping them away. She sniffled and risked a glance in Brooke's direction. "I was just so sick of myself, you know? I was all alone, and I couldn't take it. The first time I did it was right after Taylor left, and you got caption."

"That was over a year ago," Brooke realized, the shock easily read in her voice. Haley bit her lip, more tears falling, and nodded her head mutely. She didn't notice that Brooke had let her arm go until she felt the hot water around it. Her newest cut stung a little, but not in a bad way. "Huggie…"

"You and Tay have been the only good people in my life," Haley tried to explain even though she knew that Brooke could never understand the way she was feeling. Brooke was always surrounded by people, always with a hot guy on her arm. She couldn't even begin to comprehend what it felt like to be in her position. "Now with her gone, and you always with your other friends…I-I just get so depressed when I'm left alone with my thoughts. Eric's not much help either."

"Why didn't you ever tell me about this?" Brooke asked, completely blown away by her lack of stupidity. How could she not see that Haley was drowning? She was her best friend for Christ's sake and she hadn't been able to see something this big.

"So you could react the way you just reacted?" Haley asked rhetorically. She shook her head and wrapped her injured arm around her waist. "I was scared to death, Bunny."

"Then you should have asked for help," Brooke continued as if it were the easy thing in the world. Yes, she could admit that she had no idea what Haley was going through, the thought of hurting herself like that completely baffled Brooke's mind, but she wanted more than anything to understand it and help Haley get better. "You know that all you have to do is call and I'll be there in a second."

"It wouldn't have made a difference," Haley argued, with another shake of her head. "I can't help the way I feel when I get that way. When I'm sitting in my room all alone on a Friday night while you're off at a party, something in me just breaks and I can't feel anything. I don't know what made me start in the first place, I just walked into the bathroom and there it was."

"When was the last time you did it?" Brooke's voice was barely above a whisper and she wouldn't have been surprised if Haley hadn't heard a word she had just said. She was still desperately trying to wrap her head around it. Haley gulped at the questioned and looked away.

"Four days ago," Haley answered, hoping that Brooke didn't make the connection to what had happened that day. Unfortunately, Haley didn't seem to be having much luck that day because she could practically see the wheels turning in Brooke's head.

"Wednesday?" Brooke questioned, wanting to make sure that she had the date right. Haley's head seemed to have a mind of it's own as it nodded all by itself. "I had a date with Jay that night."

"It was my birthday, Bunny," Haley choked out, all the pain for that night coming back to her. She had waited until 2 in morning for Brooke to come by, she had expected her to come with the chocolate cupcake at midnight, but she never did. They saw each other at school the next day, and Brooke had no idea, just started to tell her all about her date. Haley didn't say anything. "Wednesday was my birthday."

"What?" Brooke asked. She wasn't even sure if any sound had come out of her mouth, she was in so much shock. She frantically racked her brain for today's date. Her eyes widened as she realized what day it was. "Oh my God. Oh God, Huggie. I can't believe that I … I'm so sorry. I'm so unbelievably sorry."

"Forget it," Haley told her. She hated that she had made Brooke feel so bad. That was why she hadn't called her on it before; she hated to make Brooke guilty. If anything, it was her fault for not reminding Brooke about it earlier. At least that's what she liked to tell herself. "It's my fault for not reminding you."

"You shouldn't have to remind me," Brooke quickly replied, her voice a mixture of guilt and pleading. She just could not believe that she had forgotten about Haley's birthday. Never in fifteen years has she done that. "You're my best friend in the whole world and I completely ditched you on your birthday. I'm a horrible, horrible person. I deserve to be killed."

"Brooke, stop," Haley begged, seeing all the self-hatred she was causing. She knew better than anyone what it felt like to hate yourself and she didn't wish that on her worst enemy, let alone Brooke. "You're not a horrible person. You're the best friend that anyone could ever ask for."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Brooke questioned, still trying to figure out how she could have possibly been that idiotic and insensitive. Haley shrugged and looked down at her hands in the water. Brooke already knew that answer; because Haley would never be selfish like that. "We were talking about your birthday the other morning, I can't believe that it didn't even click."

"It's okay…"

"No, it's not," Brooke insisted, her voice hard. "I'm going to make this up to you, Huggie Bear, I promise. As soon as I'm free, I'm going to get you the greatest gift ever and then I'm going to stay here with you for the rest of our lives."

"You can't do that," Haley tried to reason with her. As much as she loved that idea of never having to share Brooke with anyone, she could never ask Brooke to just give up her life like that because she had a problem. "You have a life to live."

"It wouldn't be worth it if you were right beside me," Brooke told her. Both girls knew they were back to the original topic at hand. And here Haley thought she had done a pretty good job at distracting herself. Brooke brought her hand up to wipe the last remaining tear off Haley's face, letting her hand linger on her cheek afterwards. "We're going to get through this, baby. I'm going to help you get through this."

"How can you?" Haley knew the answer to that question. The only thing that could get her to feel better would be for Taylor to come home or for Brooke to say the words she had been dreaming about since her fourteenth birthday.

Brooke watched the questions dance around in Haley's eyes, and she fought silently with herself about what to say. She knew that she could tell her about her feelings that might be just what Haley needs to hear; that she's wanted. Though, it could also freak her out and scare her into thinking that if she doesn't return those feelings that their friendship is over. Brooke took a deep, shaky breath and looked into Haley's eyes.

"So that was your deepest secret, huh?" Brooke began. If the tone in her voice wasn't so grave and she didn't still have tears on her cheeks, then Haley would think that she was talking about something completely different. "Well, remember what I told you on Friday about mine?" Haley nodded, silently. "What did I say."

"That you-you were in-in love," Haley choked out, the pain of saying those words right now, in this situation, when all she needed to hear was those same words, getting to her.

"Yeah," Brooke answered, a small smile gracing her lips. "I said that it was the first time I'd ever felt that way. But I've been thinking about it all weekend, and I don't think it's a first for me. I think I've been feeling this way for a long time now, I've just been hiding it from myself." Brooke laughed lightly as the tears started to fall again, this time they were of happiness and a little bit of fear.

"Haley, I think I've been in love with you since I was four."

Haley's eyes widened and she stare in shock at her best friend. There was no way that she could have just heard her right. Those were the words Haley had been longing to hear, the magic words that she thought could heal her heart. She searched Brooke's eyes, looking for any traces of a lie or pity, but she could only find love. A huge smile broke out on her face and she let a shocked laugh.

"Really?"

"Really, really," Brooke assured her, taking her smile as a good sign. She was incredible proud of herself for saying the words, she didn't think she'd be able to. "I know that you're going through an incredibly hard time right now, and I've been a terrible best friend, but I promise to fix that. I'm going to be here with you every step of the way." Haley nodded in thanks, still not able to find any words.

"I know that everything is a little hard to take in all at once," Brooke told her, wanting her to know that there was absolutely no pressure at all to do or say anything about her confession. "And I don't expect anything in return. I just wanted you to know how I felt. I wanted you to know that you're never alone. Not ever."

"I know," Haley whispered, biting her lip to stop the tears. She had to say it. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't. "I'm in love with you too."

"It's about damn time," came an all too familiar voice from the doorway. Haley and Brooke pulled away from each other to see someone who was at the door. Just when Haley thought her life couldn't get any better.

"Taylor," she whispered.

……….FYITM……….

I hope you don't feel like that chapter was rushed or anything, maybe too much, but I really want to wrap this up so I can focus on my other upcoming stories. Including my Baley ones, I was thinking about writing a Paley one, cause I love them too. Don't worry, Brookie will have a co-starring role in it.

Please check out my other fic, Who Would Have Thought, cause I updated it a little while ago, but I think most people missed it or just missed reviewing when the site was on read only. So please be sure to do that and review.

Also, I'd love to hear what you thought about this chapter. Thanks. Later.