Author's Note: Gasp! An update from me? On this story? Amazing, I know. Sorry it took me so long, but I've lost pretty much all interest in this story, but I refuse to leave it unfinished, so I'm going to try to wrap it up in a couple of chapters. So, here's the first chapter in forever. Please review.

Warning: As you know, this story deals with cutting and depression. I don't have much expreience with either, so if anything is off in this chapter, or in the last chapter, I'm sorry. I'm just using the limited knowledge that I have.

...FYITM...

"Perfect," Brooke mumbled when she followed Haley's eyes towards the voice and saw who was standing in the doorway. Don't get her wrong, she loved Taylor just as much as the next person, and she knew that Taylor being home would make Haley extremely happy, but her timing totally sucked. "Just great."

"Well, Haley-bub," Taylor said with a bright smile. "Do I get a hug and a kiss or are you gonna sit there and stare at me all day?" Haley let out a squeal, realizing that she had wasted all that time staring at her sister and quickly jumped out of the hot tub, pulling a reluctant Brooke with her. Not wasting any time, she clearly ran over to her sister. Taylor laughed at the display. "Hey, baby.

"Tay!" Haley cheered, the happiest smile imaginable on her lips. Taylor didn't care that she was soaking wet, she enveloped Haley in a tight hug, squeezing her with all of her might, a matching smile on her face. As much as Brooke hated being interrupted when she had, she couldn't help the heartwarming feeling swell up in heart as she watched the sweet reunion of sisters.

"What's up, Tay?" she asked casually, as if she had no relationship with the older blonde. Taylor laughed at her attitude and pulled Brooke into the hug as well. After a moment, they all pulled apart and Taylor looked at them as if she just realized what they were wearing.

"Hay," she asked, a bit of confusion appearing in her voice as she looked at her baby sister. "Are you wearing my bikini?"

"Oh," Haley blushed, glancing down at her body self-consciously. Suddenly, she felt really naked in front of her best friend and big sister. "Yeah, sorry."

"That's okay," Taylor laughed, rolling her eyes at how embarrassed Haley was at the mention of her attire. Some things never changed, and Taylor was kind of happy about that. She didn't want to have missed Haley coming into her own. "You look damn hot, little sister. When did you get a body?"

"I said the same thing," Brooke laughed, finding it incredibly endearing that Haley was still blushing at the attention. She bumped her hip with Haley's, trying to get the other girl's attention. "See, I told you that you looked sexy."

"No, no," Taylor quickly denied, sending a glare in Brooke's direction. "My baby sister does not look sexy, especially not to the likes of you."

"Hey!" Brooke protested. She knew that Taylor was just being a pain in the ass as always, but she was couldn't let the comment go without saying anything. "The likes of me? What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you get around," Taylor answered with a smirk, already in the swing of things again. She had forgotten how much she missed being home. She knew that she had missed Haley dearly, but she didn't realize how much she had missed her sister's best friend, or teasing her anyway.

"Like you're the Virgin Mary," Brooke shot back. As sick as it made her, she had to admit that she had missed arguing with Taylor. She loved having a big sister around, even if it wasn't her own, she would always feel like Taylor was her sister.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Taylor asked, pretending to be outraged at the insinuation that Brooke had just made.

"Hello, earth to Taylor," Brooke replied. "I'm you! You're me! We're the same!"

"We are not…" Taylor started to protest, not liking the idea of Brooke, who was practically her little sister as well, being like her. She was the first to admit that her behavior wasn't exactly that of a role model's. Her face fell and her eyes widen. "We are!"

"I've been saying that for years," Haley mumbled, finding the whole exchange highly amusing. The relationship she had with her big sister wasn't normal, they never fought and were always loving with each other and Haley liked to think that Brooke had taken over her role of the annoying little sister. "But nobody ever listens to me."

"Aw, is the baby feeling unwanted?" Taylor teased, pulling Haley's body against her again and kissing her gently on her temple, ruffling her hair a little bit in a big sisterly manner for good measure. Brooke knew that she meant it in a joking way, but it killed her to know just how true Taylor's question was.

"Not at the moment," Haley answered, making sure to keep her voice somewhat light so Taylor doesn't know just how close her comment hit close to home. Haley smiled up at Taylor with a happy grin before looking over at Brooke, her smile faltering a little bit when she sees the down look on her face.

"So," Taylor drew out, noticing the look that Brooke and Haley were sharing. She didn't know what it was about, but she would find out soon enough. She could tell that she had interrupted something pretty serious before in the hot tub, and more than just the revelation of their true feelings. "What's with the handcuffs? Are you guys all into S and M, now or what? Did I rub off on you guys that much?"

"It's for school," Haley quickly answered, not wanting to hear what Brooke's answer to that question was going to be. She could just imagine what it would be, especially after what they had just relieved their feelings. Brooke, like Taylor, always had this incredible urge to make situations a lot worse and more uncomfortable than was needed. "Some stupid project to get to know each other."

"Get to know each other?" Taylor repeated with a laugh, looking at the two younger girls in amusement. "You two have been literally attached at the hip for fifteen years, how much closer does your teacher want you to get? I mean, what could there possibly be to learn about each other after all these years?"

The laughter that was coming out of Taylor's mouth was like a knife through Brooke's heart. The funny thing was, she had asked herself that exact same question when Miss Lake had given them this assignment. Brooke thought she knew everything there was to know about Haley, and if this whole weekend had taught her anything, it was that she couldn't have been more wrong.

For her entire life, Haley Elise James had been her best friend in the whole world. There had never, ever been any question about it, not once had she ever had two best friends, it was always her and Haley. They had shared every experience together, from their first period, to their first dance, to their first day of high school and hell, they even had their first kiss together.

And then this happened. All because of one stupid project that Miss Lake decided to give because she didn't have anymore lesson plans. Everything that she thought she knew turns out to be completely wrong. All her life, Haley and their friendship had been the one constant thing, and know she didn't even know what she could believe anymore.

Sure, she knew that Haley wasn't always the happiest person in the world. Her family was a big pile of shit pretty much; her parents didn't give a damn about her, her brother was a major asshole and the one good person in her family hadn't been from in almost a year.

Yeah, Brooke knew all too well that Haley could get depressed sometimes, but she never could have imagined her best friend doing this to herself, and she certainly never thought that she would be one of the reasons that caused her problem. Now that she thought about it though, she really had been a horrible best friend lately and the worst part was, at the time, she knew that she should be with Haley, but she never did anything about it, she just brushed it off and told herself that Haley had other things to do.

Of course Haley didn't have other things to do. They had been so into each other and their exclusive friendship, they had almost isolated themselves from the rest of their grade. At least until high school when Brooke discovered boys, and cheerleading and the urge to be popular. She had never ditched Haley, never would, but she sorta left her hanging on more nights than she'd like to admit.

She never intentionally meant to do that to Haley, she would never want to hurt her best friend like that, but it didn't make matters any better. She should have invited Haley to parties, even though she knew the brunette would never come in a million years, it would have been nice to let her know that Brooke wanted her there.

And Brooke had wanted her there. Every party that she had gone to for the last three years, Brooke had wished that Haley was there with her, having a drink with her and making fun of all the other cheerleaders that were whoring themselves around the room and throwing themselves at any guy that was willing to take them.

Brooke never really had fun at those parties, they just weren't her thing. When Nathan Scott would throw himself at her, she always just rolled her eyes and told him she wasn't interested. Nathan Scott was an ass, more importantly, he was an ass to Haley, and there was no way, no matter how many drinks she had, that Brooke was going to sleep with someone that would treat her best friend like that.

And the thing that hurt the most was the fact that she was no better than Nathan Scott was, in fact, she was worse. When Brooke looked at all the scars on Haley's arm, she knew without having to ask, that not one of those scars were because of Nathan or something he said. All of them were because of her and Taylor.

Haley didn't care what a jerk off like Nathan had to say to her, he didn't know her, so she knew that his words were a waste. The things that she and Taylor did however mattered a great deal to Haley. Brooke knew that in all of the world, her and Taylor were the ones that loved Haley the most, so she knew that it was their fault that Haley was so depressed, that she had fallen into such a dark place that she would cut herself.

And she and Taylor were going to help her get out of it.

"You'd be surprised," Brooke mumbled, but just loud enough for both sisters to hear her. She looked up to find Taylor giving her a confused look and Haley looking apologetic. Seeing Haley looking like that broke Brooke's heart. Haley shouldn't be sorry about what she's been doing; it wasn't her fault.

"I'm actually kind of tired," Haley announced suddenly, pulling out of Taylor's grip slightly to look up at her. She saw the disappointment flash in her big sister's eyes for a moment, sad that they couldn't hang out at the moment. "I didn't really sleep well last night and it's been a long weekend."

"Okay," Taylor replied, though she found it strange that her little sister was trying to get away from them. She was wondering if Haley forgot that she was attached to Brooke. "Then are you gonna go take a nap then?"

"Yeah, I think so," Haley answered; trying to run her hand through her hair when she remembered that she was still cuffed to her best friend. "Oh, yeah. Crap. Do you mind, Brookie?"

"No, not at all," Brooke assured her, sending her a small smile and squeezing her hand. "It'll give us some time to talk." Haley immediately stiffed at her words, not too sure what Brooke wanted to talk about. They had a important things to discuss and she wasn't sure which one was the most pressing for the cheerleader.

She didn't mind talking about their newly discovered feelings towards each other. As crazy as it may sound, she was actually eager to talk about it, find out if Brooke really did feel the same way as she did. She wasn't ready to talk about her cutting yet though. She could barely stomach to think about it, let alone talk about it. How she managed to have that conversation with Brooke earlier without throwing up was beyond her.

"Great," she mumbled, keeping her eye contact with Brooke for a moment before dropping it and staring at her feet. "Talk."

"What's going on?" Taylor asked, noticing the tension between the best friends. She had walked in on the big confession, not that it was a surprise to her or anything. She had been watching her little sister and Brooke interact for what seemed like hundreds of years, and they weren't exactly subtle. Even Taylor's friends would comment on how in love they were when they would come over and hang out at the house at the same time Brooke and Haley were there.

"Nothing," both of them mumbled at the same, not sure what the other was thinking about or how much that Taylor overheard before she had made her presence known.

"Okay," she held up her hands in defense, glancing between them with an amused smile. She has always wondered if they would ever admit their true feelings for each other and get together. A part of her really hoped so, because she knew that there would never be anyone else in the world that could make her Haley-bub happy. Though, there were days when she seriously doubted that either girl would be able to get over themselves enough to put everything out there. "Just asking."

"Sorry," Haley mumbled again, leaning back over to give Taylor's waist a little squeeze. Taylor smiled and kissed her temple again, pressing Haley against her with all her might.

"Don't worry about it, baby," Taylor laughed, winking at Brooke. "You just get some rest, okay, kiddo?" Haley nodded and pulled out of the embrace, moving to stand beside Brooke. "I'll get unpacked while you're sleeping."

"Okay," Brooke nodded, resting her hand on the small of Haley's back and guiding her towards the backdoor. "If you want to come in when you're done, we can catch up. Huggie sleeps like a rock and I'm not tired, so I could use the company."

"Oh, um," Taylor tried, thrown off by the invitation. She loved Brooke, and Brooke loved her, but they never really hung out when it wasn't necessary. They were like real sisters, they annoyed each other but when it came down to it, they were there for each other. So for Brooke to want to hang out with her was a little weird. She noticed the begging look in Brooke's eyes and nodded slightly, letting her know that she understand what she was trying to convey. "Sure, sounds like a party."

"Kay, talk to you later." Brooke mouthed a silent thank you and lead Haley inside, and towards her bedroom. After they changed out of their bikinis, eyes not wandering so much this time now that they knew the truth, and got back into their old clothes, Brooke tucked Haley into bed. "That good?"

"It's perfect," Haley smiled, getting comfortable in her spot. Suddenly realizing that she was missing someone, her eyes started darting around the room. "I'm missing someone," she informed Brooke sheepishly.

"Right, Mr. Waffles," Brooke mumbled, looking around the room as well. She spotted the teddy bear on the floor beside Haley's dresser. "Oh, I found him." Stretching as far as possible, Brooke managed to grab him without forcing Haley out of bed. She was just about to turn around and hand the bear to Haley, when something shiny caught her eye.

"Yay," Haley cheered, tugging on Brooke's arm to get her to give her the teddy bear. Snapping out of her trance at the mental object, Brooke sat back on the bed and handed Haley her favorite teddy bear. "What?"

"Nothing," she answered, quickly. Seeing the nervous and doubtful look on Haley's face, Brooke shook her head and plastered a fake smile on her face. "There's nothing wrong." Jumping over Haley to get onto the right side of the bed, Brooke settled herself in for the nap.

"You sure?" Haley asked, eyeing her strangely for a moment, trying to figure out what had gotten into Brooke. Did she see something that freaked her out? Haley wasn't sure what kind of stuff was lying around her room.

"Yeppers," Brooke said in a sickeningly sweet voice and an affirmative nod. After looking up at her for a few more minutes, Haley finally decided to just let it go, figuring that whatever Brooke saw couldn't be that bad if she wasn't pressing her for answers with her no stop questioning. Brooke smiled down at her sadly, bringing Haley's hand up to her lips and kissing it gently. "I love you, Huggie Bear."

"Love you too, Bunny," she murmured, already starting to drift off to sleep. Brooke smirked down at her, trying to ignore how adorable she was and how incredibly lightening it felt to be able to say those words and know that Haley understood how she meant them. She waited a few minutes until she was sure that Haley was asleep before she shifted in her position to find a more comfortable one.

…FYITM…

"Knock, knock," Taylor called softly into the room, not sure if her little sister was asleep yet or not. She had finished packing a while ago, but she wanted to give the girls a little bit of time alone, give Brooke a while to gather her thoughts about whatever it was that she wanted to talk to her about.

"Hey, Tay," Brooke greeted her in a quiet voice. She knew that Haley slept like a log, it was something that she had learned after millions of sleepovers, but she didn't want to take any chances. Haley couldn't overhear their conversation, she wouldn't be too happy.

"She asleep?" She wanted to be sure. She didn't know what Brooke wanted to talk about, but she had made it pretty obvious that Haley wasn't supposed to know about it, so she didn't want to say anything when her baby sister was still awake. Brooke nodded and waved her in.

"Yeah." Taylor walked in and carefully closed the door behind her. She moved to walk towards the bed when Brooke held up her hand. "Actually, while you're up, could you grab something for me?" Taylor nodded and waited for instructions. "Could you grab that razor on the floor by the dresser for me?"

"Razor?" Taylor repeated in confusion, the idea that Haley might be using it for other reasons not even entering her mind. Not waiting for an explanation, Taylor walked over to the dresser and bent down, picking up the metal razor and bringing it over to Brooke on Haley's bed.

"Thanks." Handing the blade to Brooke, Taylor sat down on the other side of Haley and waited for Brooke to tell her what the hell was going on. She watched as Brooke inspected the blade, a sick look on her face. "Oh God."

"What's going on?" Taylor questioned, her voice low and hollow. She knew what was going on, deep down she had to. The moment she saw her sister outside, she knew that something was wrong. Even when she was excited to see her, she could see that there was something missing from the amazingly vibrant girl that she'd known all her life. It was like there was a light missing in her eyes or something, and it killed her. "Brooke?"

"I have to tell you something," Brooke informed her, her voice devoid of any emotion. She couldn't bring herself to look down at Haley or up at Taylor. She could feel all the emotions that had hit her outside come back and hit at twice the force. How could Haley do this to herself? How could Brooke have possibly been such a horrible friend to her that she had driven her to cut herself? "It's about Haley." She finally found the strength to look up at Taylor and she felt her stomach drop to her knees when she saw the devastated look already on the older girl's face.

"I know," the blonde whispered, looking at Brooke through watery eyes. Taylor James hardly ever cried, but when it came to her baby sister, she was never quite normal. She always seemed to take everything that happened to her sister a lot harder than she should or a lot more personal. Like Brooke, Haley meant the world to Taylor, and it killed her to know that Haley wasn't happy.

Without giving Brooke a change to say anything, she reached forward and gentle took one of Haley's arms in her hands and turned it up so she could see the inside of her wrist. Even though she knew what she would find, she had to swallow down the bile that rose up in her throw at the sight of all the scars on Haley's otherwise perfect skin. She brought a hand up to cover her mouth, but she wasn't sure if it was to stop the vomit or to hold back the sob.

"God," she whispered, her entire body frozen in shock. Brooke watched her face, not sure what her reaction was going to be. Brooke's initial one was anger, anger at Haley for keeping that from her and for doing it in the first place. It seemed that Taylor first reaction was the opposite; her first reaction seemed to be sadness.

"She said that she's been doing it for a year," Brooke spoke, not really speaking to herself, but not speaking to Taylor either. Taylor listened to her words, felt the knife slice through her heart, but she didn't look away from the scars, she couldn't. "The first time she did it was the night after you left and I got caption."

Taylor couldn't hold the sobs back any longer. She knew that it had to be her fault, there was no way it could be anyone else's. The night she left, she remembered Haley begging her to stay, pleading with her not to leave her alone with Eric. Taylor never thought she'd ever feel as heart broken as she did that night, as she watched Haley sobbing on the living room floor. Suddenly, it was like she had been transported back to that scene and it broke her heart all over again.

"I never would have gone if I knew…"

"I know," Brooke whispered, cutting her off before she could finish. "I think she knows that too. She doesn't blame us for what happened, she understands, but she just couldn't handle it."

"I just can't believe that she could get to a place where she'd be able to do that to herself," Taylor spoke, her gaze slowly traveling up to meet Brooke's. She wasn't surprised to see the same heart broken look on her face as she was sure was on her's.

"I can't either," Brooke confessed, silently cursing herself for the millionth time for not noticing that her best friend in the whole world, the person that meant everything to her, was drowning. Taylor nodded, knowing that Brooke didn't have the answers, nobody did. She bent down and pressed her lips to her sister's skin, kissing as many scars as she could, wishing that she could make them go away. Brooke watched her actions with sorrow, wishing that it were only that easy. If she could kiss away all of Haley's pain, she would do it in a heartbeat. "We have to help her. Somehow."

"What are we gonna do, Brookie?" Brooke closed her eyes, trying to control her tears at the lost tone in Taylor's voice. She opened her eyes again after a moment and reached over, brushing a few strains of stray hair off of Haley's forehead, letting her thumb linger there for a moment. After watching Haley in her peaceful sleep for a few moments, she brought her eyes up to meet Taylor's broken one's, a determined look in her eyes.

"Whatever we have to do."

...FYITM...

Sorry if you didn't like it. I told you I've lost interest in this story, so it probably wasn't that great, but oh well. Please tell me what you think.