Taking Back the Crown

by JCMorrigan

Mozenrath. Archibald Snatcher. Roman Torchwick. Mad Madam Mim. Yzma. The Huntsman. Wuya. Ayam Aghoul. Their mission: take over the multiverse, or look fabulous trying. Rated M for swearing, steamy implications and VERY bloody battles. Contains slash and het shipping.

171. The Beast Released

A/N: Unfortunately, the song you have to know this time is "Danger, Danger" from My Little Pony: A New Generation. I'd say "trust me" but I don't even know if I'm delivering anything but silliness in this round. Though "Terror Time Again" from Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island will also help you here.

...

"Romy," Harley warned. "There's somethin' weird in the air. Stop talkin' a minute."

"No!" Roman snapped, storming toward Yang. "I'm not gonna stop talking until this bitch hears everything I have to say."

Yang drew back a fist. "You have no idea what you're asking for."

Roman moved quickly, like a cobra. He went in for the weak spot – seizing Yang's severed arm, above the elbow.

Yang froze, unable to deliver the blow. Adam Taurus's face rippled behind her eyelids.

"All you've done is blame me, humiliate me, insult me, and be a general ass to me," Roman growled. "But that's this mission alone, right? I don't have a reason to keep you around anymore, and my life would be SO much easier without you. Maybe this is where I finally say goodbye to you FOR GOOD."

"ROMY," Harley growled. "YOU LET HER GO OR I'LL – "

A roar split the skies. Xel'zed was diving directly toward Roman and Yang, the massive reptilian jaws opening.

"HIT THE DIRT!" Pinstripe yelled.

"EVERYBODY RUN FOR IT!" Giovanni yelled, pulling at Rose's arm to get her back to the wagon.

Except Yang and Roman were both frozen, Yang staring into space and Roman up at the massive dragon.

"MOVE!" Velvet yelled at them as she barreled off to the side to save her own skin. "IT'S COMING FOR YOU!"

Of course, neither of them moved. And Harley knew Yang wouldn't. So she lunged, hands outstretched, shoving Yang over –

Archibald Snatcher was well aware Roman was petrified with fear. The dragon would take him if no one intervened. So Snatcher intervened, hurtling toward Roman, plowing into him with one shoulder.

Xel'zed found purchase on two entirely different targets than what he'd come for. Still and all, this wasn't a loss. He could have dropped them, gone for the ones he'd really wanted…but this, also, worked, and he knew it.

(He also knew this was wrong. Somehow. But was driven by a powerful instinct to shut that side of him down.)

So he ascended, carrying a squirming jester and would-be aristocrat in his claws.

"YANG!" Harley shrieked. "I'LL COME BACK! I PROMISE! WAIT FOR ME!"

Snatcher hadn't the time to say such heartfelt things. He twisted about in Xel'zed's grip, thumping the stone orb on his wrist against the dragon's scales. "YOU PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT! OR I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'LL LIVE TO REGRET IT – OR, EVEN BETTER, THAT YOU DON'T!"

"Reeeaaaaal nice comeback," Harley sighed. Now they were airborne. "Also, I guess this is happening now, isn't it?"

"Not if I've a single thing to say about it!" Snatcher continued to beat against the scales of the beast. "I've suffered indignity upon indignity UPON INDIGNITY – "

"Hey, hey, hey!" Harley snapped. "Think about it! You REALLY want it to let go? RIGHT NOW?"

Snatcher, seeing just how high off the ground they were, realized he didn't. He quickly put his hands (or hand and orb) out at a neutral position, trying to hide his obvious sheepishness.

The landscape beneath them was rapidly changing. The Lefay shrine was long gone, as were all their friends and both their lovers.

"Soon as this thing puts us down," Harley snarled, "I'm gonna let him have it."

"That's if I leave you anything left of it," Snatcher growled.

"Whatever you leave, I'll take it." Harley then sighed. "Y'know…if it weren't for the history, I'd think this'd be the part where Yang and Romy team up to come save us. But that ain't gonna happen. Not after Romy went and triggered her – "

"Is THAT how you recall the series of events?" Snatcher barked. "It was Miss Xiao Long who went on the offensive! Roman was an innocent!"

"Innocent?" Harley replied. "He's been tryin' to kill her all trip!"

"As would be expected of Roman, of course. But Miss Xiao Long? Isn't she supposed to be the righteous one? All that blather about Miss Symonne being his answer to her Miss Rose, and now look what she's gone and done – sunk to the level of the WHAM ARMY! How shameful for her sort!"

"I…I can't actually argue with that," Harley realized. "Man, it's tough bein' in the gray spot between the good guys and the bad guys."

"I wouldn't know the feeling."

"Well, I wouldn't trade it for either one, that's for sure," Harley said. "So maybe Yang did screw up. And this'd normally be where you'd say Romy did too, but like ya said, you're WHAM ARMY, so I know ya won't."

"Because he didn't."

"So…that leave it to us to get outta this scrape," Harley sighed. "Still woulda been real nice if this was the thing that motivated 'em to work together for once."

"…I think you underestimate Roman," Snatcher muttered.

"You think he's really gonna team up with his nemesis about this?" Harley asked.

"I think when he wants something in particular," Snatcher clarified, "he will stop at quite literally nothing to get it. It's the flame within him, you know. Now, as to the matter of if your paramour will swallow her pride…"

"See, Yang might be more of a good guy type," Harley sighed, "but she's stubborn as a mule. I wouldn't blame her if she didn't, just 'cause of…everything. But I really, really hope just this one time, she does. Anyway, won't do us any good to not have a backup plan."

"And what exactly do you propse that would be?" Snatcher asked.

"No idea," Harley admitted. "But it looks like we got time to think about it."

...

It was midnight over Ladylake: the nearest city to the Lefay shrine. Earlier in the evening, most of the WHAM ARMY and Heathens squadron had checked into the local inn, somber air thick among them. One of their number, however, found it impossible to even think about resting.

Ladylake was organized into tiers, situated on a hill. The rich and powerful literally lived above everyone else, on the highest slope, in a gated district that served as a labyrinth of manors and gardens. The gate hadn't been at all difficult for Roman to climb, and now he wandered the streets of the haves who looked down upon the have-nots, the flicker of a cigarette lighting his way.

Hardly a thought of his had changed since before. A broken record, repeating again and again. It wasn't his fault. But in the attempt to get back someone who was important to him, he'd lost someone who meant everything to him. Not to mention a friend who could be really pleasant on days when she wasn't being too heroic. It was all Yang's fault, of course – that couldn't even be disputed – so why was he the one burdened by guilt?

The sound of several footsteps came his way. Immediately, Roman crunched the cigarette on the ground, straightening his posture to try and look more regal, like he belonged. "Lovely night, isn't it, ladies?" At least, from the approaching silhouettes, he figured they were ladies.

The one leading the pack scoffed wordlessly, giving a haughty huff as she turned up her nose. She then picked up her pace, speeding right by Roman – who realized instantly his hat was gone.

"Hey! What gi – " As he rounded on the snooty woman who'd assailed his hat, he realized she wasn't snooty at all. Just a prankster. A smile crept across his face. "Neo, you little shit."

Neo tipped Roman's own hat back at him.

"So, like…we're back," Melanie said.

Roman then turned to the group once more, searching for one person in particular. Immediately, she made her presence known.

"Well?" Symonne put her arms out to either side. "Aren't you going to celebrate my grand return to center stage?"

Roman smiled. Sorrowfully. "You made it out, kid. That's…let's just say I could use a win tonight."

Symonne put her hands on her hips. "Are you serious with me? After you dispatched your friends to rescue me and went on this goose chase of a quest, that's the best welcome I get? I was expecting screaming, weeping with relief, being swept into a fatherly embrace!"

"…I would've," Roman muttered, now looking down at the street so that his bangs obscured his face. "It's just…"

"Well, I suppose I'll have to find where the rest of you are rooming so I can meet up with Archibald," Symonne huffed. "HE'LL certainly give me the welcome home I deserve!"

Roman was silent a moment.

"I will…find him there, correct?" Symonne asked, voice cracking.

"…No," Roman said. "It's…just me right now."

Neo gasped. Miltia gave a "Ho…ly…shit."

"He is deceased?" the Mukhtar asked.

"No," Roman answered. "It'd be easier if he was. Then all I'd have to do is scum a Death Bomb off Yz-mom and we'd be good to go. No, the enemy has him very much alive, and I'm sure they're gonna figure out pretty quick that it's in their best interest to keep him that way."

"And I thought we were supposed to be the resident cads!" Symonne huffed. "You were right to hold off on the dramatics. It just wouldn't have at all the same effect until this plotline is resolved."

"Don't get me wrong, though," Roman told her. "You have no idea how relieved I am that you're back. Mostly because I can't muster up the gumption to show it, but still."

"So…question," Emerald said. "How did you LOSE Archibald Snatcher?"

"You got the time?" Roman asked.

"I mean, we might want to send the kids to bed – " Emerald suggested.

"I'm not a CHILD," Symonne scoffed. "Not a human child, at any rate. And don't I deserve to know what's become of my operatic knight in tulle and lace?"

"And I'm not tired," Cat added. "Cats are more awake at night anyway."

"Tell us the tale," said the Mukhtar, "so that we might embark on our quest of restitution."

Roman ended up walking again, restless from the circumstances, and the others walked along with him. He related the whole story, and it felt at least comfortable to be surrounded by people who were actually on his side.

That is, until Neo flicked his ear at the end of it.

"Ow!" He clasped a hand over that ear. "Why?"

Neo just gave him a sullen stare.

"It was NOT my fault," Roman grumbled. "I thought I made that perfectly clear."

"It sort of is," Miltia sighed. "We all know the blonde bitch is an uncontrollable force of nature. And you poked her with a stick. Metaphorically speaking. If you didn't want the Ember Celica, you shouldn't have messed with the hair, as she's said to me on multiple occasions."

"Look," Emerald said, "I'm not gonna lie. Yang was pretty shitty to you. But you did trigger her trauma on purpose, which is generally always the shittiest thing to do out of everything. Also, you've kinda been planning her murder since the start, so if she was gonna be nice to you before, she sure doesn't have a reason to trust you now."

"I haven't even tried that since the wind tower!" Roman protested. "Sure. I want her dead. I have this whole time. But I'm through with that, okay? It absolutely killed the vibe when I tried and I ended up getting punished with…" His eyes widened. "Oh, gods. This might actually be my fault."

"No, she was shitty," Emerald reiterated. "I'm just saying – "

"No, when I tried to off her earlier – the last time – that holier-than-thou asswipe showed up and stopped me by…well…" Roman sighed. "I wasn't the one who paid for that one. Nor am I – or Yang – the only one who had wounds reopened."

"One who guarded the temple's balance of Light and Dark was displeased," the Mukhtar inferred. "That one knew that to harm Archibald would be a far more effective lesson than to harm you."

"Well, there you go," Emerald said. "Half the time you've tried to kill Yang, you've kinda let your boyfriend take the heat for it. So maybe if you'd just let the grudge go, she wouldn't have gone loose cannon on you, and you would've avoided him getting hurt BOTH times."

Roman was silent a while. Then he muttered, "Yeah, you're righ – "

Neo gasped again and then slapped him.

"Ow!" Roman looked to her. The glare she fired him told him all he needed to know. "…Actually, YOU'RE right. I'm NOT the root of all our problems here, and what am I accomplishing by pacing around here stewing in it? Fuck-all nothing."

"I mean, you should take SOME responsibility – " Emerald attempted.

"No, I don't think so," Melanie told her. "Or did you totally forget who we're dealing with?"

Neo fired an even more potent glare at Emerald, miming a slapping motion to indicate what might happen to her if she continued.

"Oh!" Emerald realized. "That's right. You guys actually work BEST when you're deflecting blame because that's how you get motivated. Your victim complexes are what pushes you forward! I keep forgetting that. Or maybe this is the first time I really saw it."

"You say that like we're overreacting or something," Roman told her. "And I don't think I was."

"I keep telling you, she was shitty too!" Emerald urged. "Or – or she was the one who was shitty. Look, it's Yang. She's a tough cookie. And this is exactly why she helps lead the Heathens. Because she goes forward full steam, whether or not she's in the right. That's what we're all about. Not right, not wrong, just going full steam."

"Yet you know what has to happen now, don't you?" Symonne urged. "Any entry-level playwright knows this act! The two feuding parties have to set aside their differences in order to eliminate the REAL threat! You and Yang have to reconcile, however briefly, until we have back our damsels in distress! Only AFTER everyone is returned do we conclude the feud properly."

"Or maybe we don't conclude the feud through violence?" Emerald suggested. "Maybe, after this is over, we let it GO for once because every time we've been wrapped up in the fighting, things have gone horribly for us?"

"Please?" Cat asked.

"Oh, you just had to hit me with the 'please,'" Roman sighed. "Fine. Except I already knew that. SHE'S the one who's not budging. I'm not getting anywhere with her!"

"Not even if you apologize?" Cat asked. "Just say you're sorry."

"I'm not doing that," Roman snapped.

"Why not?" asked Cat.

"Because I'm not fucking sorry!" Roman argued.

"Oh my gods, Roman," Emerald groaned. "This is the easiest thing ever. You're not sorry, because of course you're not, but you can't move forward unless she hears an apology. SO LIE."
Roman stopped in his tracks.

"You SERIOUSLY didn't think of that?" Emerald barked. "It's the first thing in your stupid catchphrase! It's not 'Tell the truth, steal, cheat, and survive'! Just put on a good act like you learned your lesson, and then don't learn any lessons. THAT'S how you screw Yang over in a way that won't summon everyone else to descend on you like vultures. You make her think she won when she didn't."

"Yeah," Roman muttered. "Yeah! You know, I think I can probably improvise some pretty-sounding words to make her think this whole midnight stroll led me to the conclusion of the straight and narrow."

"There you go," Melanie said. "Easy. So let's go back to the inn, you do that, and I check into the room with the best mattress. I've been walking around in heels for days."

"Please," Roman scoffed. "Amateur. You know what Yz-mom would say if she were here? She'd say 'Please. Amateur.' Like I just did, but in the voice of someone who's been making road trips in heels for months straight." He clapped his hands together. "Okay. Everyone back to the normal-people district!"

Most everyone set out, but Roman and Symonne both hung back, looking to each other.

"You know – " Roman began.

Symonne put up her hand. "I'm not angry. You have to take me at my word. It WASN'T the time. The reunion will occur once we rescue him."

"You care that much about having the proper emotional punch to even acknowledge an event we've both been waiting for to happen? You really are WHAM ARMY."

"I'd thought that was well-established."

They joined the rest and headed on down to the inn.

As it turned out, the others were all gathered in the lobby, having pulled together every couch and chair they could find. Yang, Giovanni, and Velvet sat together on one couch. Laphicet and Molly shared a large armchair. Elsa sat on her hands to keep from freezing anything, as she was seated between Rose and Lunarre and could definitely feel the tension building between the former co-assassins. However, Lunarre's gaze was currently directed at Mikleo, and the strain of saliva dripping down his chin indicated he was hungry for seraph sashimi. Maltran had a firm hand on his shoulder to keep him from causing any incidents. Mikleo was seated on the floor alongside Zaveid, Lailah, and Edna, and there was a sense of relief from all four, a quiet joy at having found each other once again. Pinstripe had an arm around Tawna, and she had an arm around him in return. Foulfellow and Don Karnage had sat in two of the last four chairs, and then used the other two chairs as footrests, so it was standing room only for Gideon, Mad Dog, and Dump Truck.

"Well, this is quite the gathering," Symonne said as the vanguard rejoined the team. "This could be an army in and of itself. A bizarre ensemble cast."

"HEY!" Rose gasped. "You're back! I can't believe I'm actually happy about that! That's AWESO – "

"No, no, NO!" Symonne put up a hand. "There will be NO celebrating until we are ALL back in place. You lost one to gain one. Sing my praises after we're a complete outfit once more."

"I thought you'd be happy about not being captured by Heldalf!" Mikleo protested.

"She's probably just angsty because she wants the reunion to be happy without any strings attached," Edna sighed. "So she's gonna pretend she's not even rescued yet, even though she's here and really loud about it, until we get the others back. Typical Symonne."

"I see you haven't changed one iota," Symonne sneered at her.

Zaveid nodded. "Still a relief, though. You might be a disaster in a seraph's body, but you're still a kid."

"Can you NOT?" Symonne snapped at him.

Maltran then nodded at her. "It's rather satisfying to be reunited under the circumstances."

"And so freeing!" Lunarre cackled. "Now we can do whatever we want! Provided this WHAM ARMY lets us."

"You joined?" Symonne couldn't hide the joy on her face. "We now have a purpose besides crushing this world! The entire trinity!"

"And let me just say we are so not against you doing whatever you want," Roman added.

Emerald elbowed him hard. Then he gave a drawn-out sigh. "Look. I know what you all want me to say. And after thinking about it – "

Now Giovanni elbowed Yang, and she knew exactly why. So she stood up quickly; "Before you do, listen to me. You're gonna want to."

Roman nodded. "Go ahead."

"I'm sorry," Yang said. "I told myself I wouldn't sink to your level. I convinced myself that I was…better than you, I guess, because I was helping you even though you hated me. The truth is I've been scared this whole time. I know I can beat you, so I have no reason to be afraid, but I still have to live with what happened at Beacon, and you were an ENORMOUS part of that. Even though you're not even the one I keep seeing in my nightmares. I thought I could beat him, too. And look what happened to me. It's not even about my arm. But I keep thinking he's around the corner, waiting to take the other arm, or just finish me off. And having you follow me around makes me think I'm making the same mistake all over again, that I can run into this fight and come out of it changed forever! But I'm afraid to just walk away because that's not what Team RWBY does! And…I went too far with you. No, you're not a good person, and no, I can't trust you, and yes, you fucked up immensely when you touched my arm. You should know why, at this point. But you know what Team RWBY doesn't do? Walk out on someone who…who needs us, because we're afraid of the past. And I…I did to you what you did to me. But I did it first. So I'm sorry." Her eyes misted. "I lashed out when you were down! And I forgot all about why I'm even doing this for you. Because you know I could just…kick you out and do the world-saving thing with the Heathens. In fact, you probably wanna leave and go do your own thing, and that's fine. All I ask is that you have one shred of decency and not kill me on your way out. But…if you're willing to help Harley…if there's any way I can even begin to trust you…then I promise not to hurt you again. And if I can't trust you…then I'll just leave you alone. Like you wanted. I'm just – I'm so sorry I let them get taken from both of us." She drew a quivering breath. "I just want Harley back…and I never wanted them to take Snatcher from you. But if we're going to do this, then…please…don't be Adam. Not today. Not until this is over."

"Did you just BEG me not to hurt you?" Roman chuckled. "You know, I think I like that. That's new for you."

"You're just never gonna change," Yang said. "And that's…not my problem. But I'm not afraid to let it show anymore that part of me is…still living in that moment when Adam cut me. And I – I don't burn as bright as I used to. Not anymore. But I have to just suck it up and admit that because that does not mean I have to give up, or that I GET to give up. So long as we're still working together…don't try anything on me anymore."

"You know…I actually think I won't," Roman sighed. "You're taking all the fun out of it anyway. But also, we do have people to go and rescue, and we're really not done here until we pool our resources and get back what's ours. So I guess we're doing that whole team-up thing. No more assassinations. Thief's honor."

Emerald nudged him again.

"And just so you know," Roman muttered, "I'm…s…sssssorry for my part in – "

"I already know you think you're lying just to get us moving," Yang said with a tearful smile. "Apology accepted, though."

"Wait, that I THINK I'm lying?" Roman winced. "What are you implying here?"

"Don't worry about it," Yang told him.

"So was I right or was I right?" Giovanni asked. "I KNEW it'd all work out if you offered the olive branch."

"Where was this get-along attitude hours ago?" Roman asked him.

"It was a stressful time, okay?" Giovanni barked. "I was figuring things out! I can't be on the ball ALL the time, you know! Sometimes I'm emotionally exhausted! Like I think EVERYONE is right about now!"

"Symonne was saved," Molly recapped, "but Harley and Snatcher aren't, and we still haven't stopped Heldalf from ruining this whole world."

"Then there's no time like the present," Maltran declared. "I've been waiting to tell him some choice words about our time together."

"You have words?" Lunarre teased. "I just want his blood."

"So what's our play?" Roman asked. "Because last I remember, this guy kinda turned the whole world against us. Literally. And against everyone else. This isn't impossible, but we need to go in this with a plan."

"I agree," said Velvet. "Actually, that was what we were discussing before you came back. And it'll be easier to pull off with the others you brought."

Neo saluted.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Rose groaned, "but we think the best solution is…well…you remember how hard we worked to STOP the war between Hyland and Rolance? Well, the good news is, they won't be fighting each other. The bad news is, I think we have to let Maltran start another goddamn war."

Maltran smirked. "Is it a war against only one man? By this time, everyone in Glenwood bears our grudge against him. What we need is a REAL army. An overwhelming amount of soldiers and civilians to divide his attention and overwhelm him."

"But not meat shields!" Molly said quickly.

Laphicet nodded. "I'm going to do my best as an Empyrean to protect them. But first, we need to convince them to go along with it."

"Which is why we need to play upon their emotions and stir them up," Maltran said. "Simply asking reasonably would cause them to retreat into their shells. Fear rules them now, and when they learn who's behind it, they will only become more fearful. But if we tap into their anger – "

"We go full Frou Frou," Roman realized, "tell them who's behind it all, and release the hounds. This could work."

"And it's really not exactly villainous," Elsa pointed out. "All we're doing is telling the truth in a way that gets people to realize what they need to do to help themselves."

"Well, you just had to suck all the fun right out of it!" Giovanni complained. "But also. You're right. And that's why this is the star play."

"Guess we're savin' the world, then," Pinstripe realized.

"Think of all the clout!" Foulfellow urged. "The applause we'll garner! The things we can get away with while they trust the heroes of the realm to be on our best behavior!"

"Then I guess we're doing this," Roman said. "Anyone picked out our stage yet?"

"Back to Lastonbell," Velvet urged. "It's close to neutral territory, and what happens there is heard of everywhere, Hyland or Rolance."

"That park would also make a suitable stage," Symonne realized.

"All RIGHT!" Zaveid whooped. "TEAM YANG-ROMAN IS ON THE MOVE!"

Yang and Roman made direct eye contact. Both considered saying something, but both thought better of it. Then they nodded, sealing their treaty.

For better or for worse.

...

"In the city of pyramids, look into the eye of the place where macaws crawl and tortoises fly."

Such was the clue to the first piece of the Scepter of Night. At about the time that Mera, Prisma, and their entourage were wandering the jungles and getting trapped in an ancient vault, Yzma brought Wuya, Morgana, Daria, and Twitch (in ferret form) to the city of Tepet Muul, which was really the only "city of pyramids" that the riddle could've meant.

"What's with all these pyramids?" Yzma complained. "This is TOO MANY pyramids!"

"And you're surprised?" Daria scoffed. "How?"

"This will take far too long to scour on foot," Yzma grumbled.

"Then how about we don't go on foot?" Wuya suggested.

"What're you gonna do?" Twitch teased. "Magic us up some kinda skyrail?"

Wuya stepped forth, giving a spin for dramatic effect as she launched a bolt of green into the sky. It lengthened, circling the entire city, then solidified into a violet rail. Elegant purple sky trams blossomed from it like fruit. A station near the main thoroughfare offered boarding.

"…I was jokin'," Twitch muttered.

"I wasn't," Wuya replied. "Now let's get a move on." She gave another spin, transforming her clothing to that of a uniform with a blazer, a tie, and a miniskirt in navy blue. "All aboard!"

Everyone clambered onto the first sky tram. Wuya was the last to enter, shutting the door before the tram lifted off, beginning a slow perimeter of the city. She then removed a microphone from the wall; "Welcome to the Tepet Muul sky tour. Please keep all appendages inside the car at all times, and shapeshifting into anything larger than the car is highly discouraged."

Yzma and Twitch sat down on one side of the double row of seats; Morgana and Daria sat together on the other.

"To your left, you'll see a pyramid," Wuya said. "To your right, however, you'll see another pyramid. That's basically all this city is."

"We came here to solve a riddle, remember?" Daria urged. "Not to sightsee. We're looking for where macaws crawl and tortoises fly."

"The ancient Maruvians sure did love their animal motifs," Morgana pointed out. "About half these pyramids have macaws carved on top!"

"Well, then, that's the answer, isn't it?" Yzma realized. "All we have to do is search every pyramid with the macaw carving until we find a tortoise inside!"

"Or maybe we could keep our eyes out for one pyramid that has tortoises carved on the top and macaws on the bottom?" Daria sighed.

"…That would make more sense, yes," Yzma admitted. "Let's keep my idea on the back burner in case yours is wrong."

"Mine's not wrong," Daria told her.

"All right, everyone," Wuya announced. "It's time to play everyone's favorite game: I Spy, on the fly! As a reminder, we're looking for a pyramid with macaws on the bottom and tortoises on top!"

"I SEE IT!" Twitch yelled.

Wuya stepped over to take a look. "Sorry, that's a pyramid with macaws on top and tortoises on the bottom, which is literally the opposite of the thing I said."

"THERE!" Yzma pointed.

"Tortoises on top," Wuya said, "but those are parakeets on the bottom. Not macaws."

"How do you even tell the difference?" Yzma spat.

"What about that one?" Morgana called out.

"Those are turtles, not tortoises," Wuya answered.

"THERE!" Yzma called out.

"Macaws and anteaters," Wuya sighed.

"That one?" Twitch pointed.

"Tortoises and anteaters," Wuya informed him.

"OVER THERE!" Morgana crowed.

"That's macaws on the left and tortoises on the right," Wuya stated.

"THAT ONE!" Yzma pointed.

"That's just anteaters and more anteaters," Wuya sighed. "But good job finding the anteaters."

"What about that guy there?" Twitch pointed.

"Macaws on the southeast corner ten feet from the top and tortoises on the northeast corner three feet off-center?" Wuya replied. "Really?"

She looked to Daria. Daria shrugged; "It's hard having the one shared brain."

"Tell me about it," Wuya replied.

"THAT ONE THERE!" Yzma barked. "No, wait – that's not it."

Wuya peered out. "No, that's EXACTLY it. Tortoises flying, macaws crawling – STOP THE TRAM!"

There was a pause.

"Right," Wuya realized. "I'm the one making the tram go."

She halted the vehicle, lowering it to a new station created outside the pyramid they'd just found. Daria groaned into the palms of her hands; "No, still me who has the brain…"

The interior of the pyramid was every bit as ancient and mystic as the rest of Tepet Muul, but with a lot less ambient light. Wuya ended up conjuring purple flashlights for everyone as they ventured inside, finding the raised stone on the far wall and using it to open a claustrophobic hallway.

Before anyone could answer, Yzma's enchantlet twitched, its rope whip extending to form a loop in the air before Yzma. The space inside the loop started to take the form of the interior of Yzmatopia.

"I have to take this call," Yzma groaned. "You all go on without me."

"Last one there's a rotten roadrunner egg!" Twitch cried as he transformed into a black-and-white roadrunner, pealing off into the twisting hall with one of the most ridiculous gaits known to birdkind.

"Don't take too long," Wuya said as she, Morgana, and Daria slipped into the hall. "Or we might just find the piece without you."

Darla's face filled the enchantlet. "Hello? Is anyone there? Yzma?" Her tone was sweet but shaky, suggesting a concealed edge.

"Yes, yes, what is it?" Yzma groaned.

"Well, you told me to call if there was an emergency!" Darla explained.

"And? What's the emergency?"

"I'm out of money," Darla stated.

Yzma blinked. "You…you what?"

"I had Shrimp and Max place a few orders so I could spruce up the place without anyone seeing the so-called hero of the Isles abusing her power," Darla explained. "And…well…"

"Hold on." Yzma had thought something seemed odd about the whole affair. "Take two steps to the left."

Darla did so, but reluctantly. Now Yzma had a full view of the pink multi-tiered fountain carved in shapes of cherubs and hearts.

"That's just the tip of the pink, heart-shaped iceberg, isn't it?" Yzma groaned.

"But it matches the purple so well!" Darla argued. "Anyway, turns out the vault here in the Hall of Protectors didn't have much money to begin with. It was almost like they were doing it for the virtue! That or they just blew the whole budget on the castle they don't have anymore. So in order to keep things running smoothly, I'm going to need a little…boost."

Yzma rolled her eyes. "Why are you asking me? You know the answer to this one!"

"I do?"

"Just send out Max and Shrimp to tax the people of the Isles exorbitant amounts!" Yzma snapped. "It's what any empress worth her salt would do once the coffers ran out!"

"Why didn't I think of that?" Darla realized. "All right. I'll send them both tout de suite. Au revoir!"

The enchantlet fell dormant, ending the call. "She calls me because the emergency is that she RAN OUT OF MONEY," Yzma grumbled, retracting the whip. "I swear, when I get back to Yzmatopia, she's going to have a firm talking-to – "

"What was the big emergency?" Wuya had returned, with Morgana, Daria, and Twitch in tow.

"Darla spent all our funds," Yzma said dryly.

"Did you tell her to tax the people?" Wuya asked.

"Of course I told her to tax the people!" Yzma's gaze then fell upon the jet-black staff in Wuya's hands. "What's that?"

"This?" Wuya held it up. "The staff of the Scepter of Night."

"Wha – but – " Yzma sputtered. "I was supposed to be there! That weapon is MINE!"

"Well, you had to take a call," Daria huffed, "and I'm not putting Nueva Vista's razing on hold for that. So we went and got it without you."

"You wouldn't believe where it was!" Twitch said excitedly. "There was this big old statue head with sharp teeth, and we had to press a switch in the eye to open it up! Get it? Like the riddle said! 'Look into the EYE'!"

"I get it," Yzma said flatly.

"We have the next riddle, too," Morgana said smugly; Daria put a proud elbow on Morgana's shoulder and nodded. "It was written in a permanent magical equivalent to invisible ink. And seeing as I'm the resident expert on ink here, I was able to use the trident to illuminate the hidden message. You really should've seen it! It was quite luminescent – "

"GIVE ME THAT!" Yzma swiped the staff. "Did you all forget who was in charge here?"

"In my defense, I warned you I would do that," Wuya reminded her. "That's exactly what I said I would do."

"No, it's what you said you MIGHT JUST do," Yzma recalled.

"And I did," Wuya argued.

Yzma gave a low growl. "Just tell me the next riddle already! I'm not missing out on the next piece!"

"In the valley of stars, find the sun that sparkles inside the moon," Morgana related. "Cryptic, ain't it?"

"Except not really." Twitch puffed out his roadrunner feathers. "Remember when we said that there might be a piece in the realm of the jaquins? Vallestrella? Guess what 'Vallestrella' means!"

"Based on context clues," Yzma said, "I suppose it must mean 'valley of – '"
"It means 'valley of the stars'!" Twitch said proudly.

"Brilliant," Yzma droned. "Absolutely brilliant. Sheer genius."

Twitch swapped out his form for that of the winged jaguar. "All I gotta do is open up the gate," he explained, "and we can figure out the other part about the sun and the moon later!"

"Why does the sun have to be inside the moon anyway?" Yzma groaned. "Why can't the moon just blot out the sun? This is the Scepter of NIGHT, after all!"

"We can argue riddle semantics later," Daria snapped. "Right now, we have no time to waste. Let's get out of Tepet Muul and make for Vallastrella."

As the four women and a shapeshifter exited the city, Morgana stole a backward glance at the city…which now included the elaborate sky-tram system that Wuya had set up. "Are we just going to leave that there?"

"I don't feel like taking it down," Wuya replied, "so yes."

"Well, suit yourself." Morgana shrugged, facing forward. "All I know is it's going to raise a lot of questions."

...

Vexen would have loved to take the time to explain how Mortiphasms were an ancient weapon of war developed in the Radiant Garden-Zanarkand conflict of a millennium past. That they were magical conductors that operated on the principle of matching the gemstones on the discs at the center, thereby amplifying the elemental affinity of the user. That they were invented by Emperor Mateus Palamecia of Radiant Garden, the last true tyrant that the kingdom had known before Xehanort. And that Xion was able to wield them because of the ability he'd coded into her so long ago to be able to tap into the very essence of the heart of a world and incorporate it into her monstrous form – gaining scimitars in Agrabah, for example, or a patchwork scythe in Halloween Town (though he'd never lived to see either of those come to fruition).

However, he had absolutely no time to explain any of that. By the time it had occurred to him, Xion had aligned the four red stones on her Mortiphasms, charging up a bright energy in her hands –

No. Anything but that.

Deymos saw it coming, even without explanation; he was good at inferring things, if lacking in textbook knowledge. He didn't need to know that these were ancient magical WMDs to understand that red-orange gems aligning meant fire magic incoming. Nor did he need Vexen to tell him why that was the worst opening move Xion could have chosen.

She loosed a burst of flame directly at her creator. Vexen would have been incinerated on the spot if not for the intervention – everything went blurry, and the next thing he knew, he was on his knees, staring wide-eyed as Deymos blocked the fire's path to him with arms outspread and a massive wall of water partitioning them both off from Xion's attack.

Though it seemed Xerxes hadn't been so lucky, ending up on the other side of the wall. He'd managed to escape the worst of the damage, but still had been grazed, and careened to the ground like a comet with a flaming tail while giving a plaintive wail.

The water wall came down. Deymos' gaze suggested something far colder than mere water. "You shouldn't have done that, traitor," he seethed. He then spun his sitar, striking a chord that propelled him into the air atop a massive geyser, hurtling toward Xion with a dedication he never bothered to give to anything he didn't deem of the utmost importance.

All Vexen could do was remain on his knees and watch. The will to move had left him utterly. It was as if he himself were the ice, frozen solid.

Nergal took that opportunity to usher the Brotherhood, Kokichi, and his own wife and child around the corner into an alley; "Let's just let them settle it between themselves, shall we?"

"Sure," said Junior. "But if they hurt her, I'm giving them my true form."

"And I'll give them MINE," Kokichi insisted, "which is a hundred thousand times scarier!"

"Of course it is," Nergal said dismissively.

Agnus morphed into his Angelo form, taking to the skies on insectoid wings that reflected the Radiant Garden sun into prismatic rainbows on the flagstone below. He rushed Xion, firing off all the corrupted holy energy he could muster, as Deymos used water to stay equally aloft and pelt the armored monster with bubbles that displayed the density of the ocean depths.

"DISCORD!" Peepers yelled. "I need to lay down the cover fire!" He disconnected his ray gun from his belt, twirling it in a hand. "Get me a way up there!"

"As you wish." Discord gestured – careful not to snap, given present company.

There appeared a toilet. Seat lid down. Sporting a pair of organic swan's wings. The toilet flapped a couple times, taking flight of a couple inches.

"…You know what? It'll work." Peepers jumped up onto the seat lid. The toilet zoomed upward, to circle Xion, and Peepers blasted away, trying to divert her attention from Agnus and Deymos.

Xion screamed. The Mortiphasms turned. Now all four gems were a shade of light blue. Deymos, Peepers, and Agnus were so caught up in their assault that they barely had time to react.

She timed it perfectly. Deymos had borne himself on another geyser, one that surrounded him from the waist down so that he could use it to anchor himself in place. Agnus was coming in from behind him, intending to use that geyser as cover and burst through it before he delivered his next attack. As was Peepers, his eye for strategy about to be his undoing. As soon as Agnus and Peepers hit the water, Xion let the Blizzard spell fly.

"WHAT THE – " Deymos felt his blood run cold, and he wasn't sure if it was because of the shock of being suddenly immobilized in an icy pillar of his own making or the fact that said ice was cold as could be. Agnus and Peepers were as flies in amber, perfectly preserved just a little ways below Deymos' feet. Deymos began to chip at the ice column with the base of his sitar, with little success.

"I COULD USE A LITTLE HELP HERE!" he yelled at the cavalry below.

Xion gestured, building up another spell to try and wipe out Deymos – turning her gems to a different shade of blue.

"Oh, WATER?" Deymos groaned. "You're gonna give me death by irony? Fine. FINE!"

Then a grappling hook pierced into Xion's helmet, and she gave a cry of pain. Instead of Deymos, she targeted the source of the hook – Simon Laurent, who was trying to rappel himself up to Xion and deliver his own damage.

The water hit him with the force of a tidal wave. He was bowled back to the street. Most everyone else was able to get out of the way of both Simon and the water, but skekSil, as ever, could not run very fast at all. He was slammed by the wave and the body of his fellow replica. When the waters subsided, both replicas lay unconscious on the street.

Vexen knew that there was a distinct probability that his faction would not win this. Or even survive this. He desperately wanted to believe otherwise. He desperately wanted to be able to move, but he still felt so frozen. The most he could do was lean forward and plant his hands on the ground.

They would need an escape plan, if worst came to worst. Vexen realized that was the only thing he could bring himself to do. If he started now, he could plot Corridors to open systematically beneath each of them. Multiple Corridors were, of course, a feat he had never attempted, but by all logic, it should theoretically work, and to him, that was as good as a guarantee. He shakily lifted a hand, drawing on the ground, willing Darkness to gather beneath the ice pillar that held Deymos, Peepers, and Agnus hostage.

Tsumugi, Noodle Burger Boy, Hyper-Potamus, Hangry Panda, and Crushroom formed a robotic brigade, with the cosplayer at the helm. "NOW FACE THE WRATH OF THE SISTERHOOD OF THE NOODLE BURGER!" she crowed.

"BIG SIS!" Noodle Burger Boy yelped. "YOU FINALLY ACCEPTED US! NOW LET'S GO KICK PATOOTIE!"

The Mortiphasms shifted again. Yellow. Xion brought a hail of thunder down upon the Sisterhood. The five robots ducked and dodged the bolts as best they could, but eventually, one by one, each was struck down and overcharged, a sparking mass of metal splayed on the stone.

Vexen made a mental note: that was five more Corridors he needed to outline. He'd only just finished completing the necessary setup for Simon and skekSil's escape.

That left the heavy hitters. Arius stepped forward; Vincent, Albert, and Victor lined up beside him. "Brothers," Arius said in a deep, ominous tone. "It is time we finished this fight."

"Oh, I do agree." Discord joined the line. "After all, the weather called for a storm of CHAOS."

Vincent doubled in size, wires sparking as he launched himself at Xion. Albert flushed pale with red patches, the colors of a Dream Eater, and summoned an army of the more traditional sort to accompany him. Victor transposed his hands for two high-speed missile launchers, then opened fire.

Discord flew high, calling upon the clouds. Cotton candy spun thick in the sky. The sound of an enormous bike horn – serving as thunder – resounded through the city. Lightning sputtered from the candy clouds, not in bolts but in massive webs that also rained fizzy candies onto the street below to continue the crackle.

As Xion used her gauntleted hands to fend off Vincent's blows, Albert's army, and Victor's ammo, all while outflying Discord's assault from above, Arius raised the Arcana Bastone high. Marx was still recharging from the destruction of Nergal's Pizza, and the Helpsie would be little to no good here. He'd been told that his other key player was a last resort only, but this seemed like the time for a last resort.

Argosax erupted forth, in the form of a flaming angel. He careened toward Xion, exactly her size.

Xion managed to catch Vincent off guard, put him in a lock, and then throw him right back at Argosax. It staved off the demon just long enough for Xion to cast her finishing spell.

To Vincent, Arius, Albert, Discord, and Victor, the whole world seemed to go dark. Then all four were pummeled by a pain the likes of which they could never have predicted: energy compressing them from all sides, all at once.

Vexen wasn't in the target range of the spell, but based on the colors of the energy that entrapped the four of them plus Argosax, he knew what this was. The spell Ultima: the most powerful magic that Mateus had engineered to tie to the Mortiphasms. With that, he knew, it was over.

Argosax was dissolved into ash and ember, returning to the same void where Marx was recuperating. Arius, Discord, Vincent, Albert, and Victor all dropped to the ground like rag dolls, limp, unmoving. The candy clouds dispersed from the sky, their lightning fizzling out.

Vexen rushed himself to draw in the last four Corridors. Now or never. The Mortiphasms were rotating back to red-orange. Fire was building –

Xion let loose another firestorm. Vexen slammed his hand on the ground. Corridors opened beneath the ice pillar, beneath Xerxes, beneath Simon and skekSil, beneath the five robots, beneath Discord and Arius and Albert and Victor and Vincent. Beneath Vexen himself.

They all plummeted deep into the Dark, and suddenly out the other side in Sylver Park, from which Xion was visible only as a distant monument. The ice pillar cracked apart from all the jostling, freeing Deymos as well as Peepers and Agnus – the latter of whom reverted to human form immediately, practically hyperventilating.

Vexen could no longer even kneel. He swayed, about to lose consciousness entirely. As it turned out, that many Corridors had been a mistake, and if he'd been a Nobody at the time, it probably would have killed him. As it were, he simply couldn't stay awake a moment more, and trusted that he would wake later.

As he fell prone, the last thing he heard was Deymos crying out "You just saved ALL of us! Not just yourself! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!"

How humiliating.

And yet utterly revealing.

Back in Olliewood, Nergal and his friends and family crept back into the main square. "Well DONE, Ninhur – er, Xion!" Nergal cheered. "Now come down here so we can celebrate with pizza, soda, and a Maenad dance!"

Xion, however, was unable to even make sense of what he was saying. Her most basic instincts had taken over, the heart of Radiant Garden fueleing her with more and more energy. She forgot who Nergal was. She forgot who her enemies were. All she remembered was a deep sorrow, a scar that cut all the way through her manufactured heart.

This anguish had to be released somehow. Xion turned to the rest of the city, flying over its neighborhoods with the Mortiphasms in tow.

"…I take it that's a no to the Maenad dance?" Nergal said weakly. "Or was it the soda you objected to?"

Xion then began peppering thunderbolts into the middle of town. The screams of panicked innocents chorused.

"It was the pizza, wasn't it?" Nergal sighed.

"No!" Wanda stepped forward. "It isn't her! I mean – it is – but her mind is being taken over by her emotions and her magic!"

"How do you even KNOW that?" Pietro asked incredulously.

"I just…know," Wanda replied. "She needs to be calmed down!"

"We can't take her in a fight, yo!" Todd reminded the group. "You saw what just happened to those guys, and there were way more of 'em than us, and way more powerful!"

"Oh yeah?" Fred slammed his fists together. "I bet I could take her!"

"Is your head filled with ROCKS?" Lance yelled at him.

"…I know who could stop her," Pietro realized. "And am I ever gonna regret this afterward. You guys follow her, but don't get too close. I'm going to get the cavalry?"

"Who's the cav – " Lance began, but by then, Pietro was already gone, a silver blur. "HEY! WHO ARE YOU BRINGING BACK?"

Pietro couldn't hear, of course. He was already halfway to the castle.

...

Giving Pollution the pulley that sounded Enmu's train horn was a mistake, because they were pulling it constantly all the way to said train's destination.

"I had thought I remembered something about Asgard," Enmu related. "Pollution was the one who confirmed it. As it turns out…this world is the prison of a very famous entity down below."

"Not from Hell itself," Pollution clarified (with a honk of the horn), "but another lower realm, a different afterlife of torment."

"You don't mean - !" Aghoul gasped.

"Who do they mean?" Mim asked.

Aghoul was silent for a moment before admitting "I was hoping I would have dredged up some memory of hearing about it before anyone asked me that question, and everyone would assume I knew what they were talking about. Because for ME, Ayam Aghoul, duke of decay, not to know the dirt from six feet under? It's preposterous!"

"But you do know of Surtur," Enmu said with a coy smirk.

"SURTUR!" Aghoul was taken aback. "He's HERE? They finally got him?"

"Apparently, Thor went on a frolic and came back with a very luscious prize," Enmu explained. "The crowning achievement of fear and terror."

Pollution snickered. "Crowning. Because it's his crown!"

"That's it!" Aghoul realized. "WE can't defeat Thanos! But HE can!"

"And this 'Surtur' is on our side, right?" Ember asked.

"He's on no one's side!" Aghoul related. "Once we've let him out, everyone in the entire multiverse will have him as a problem! Utter chaos will reign! Worlds will burn!"

"Oh, it sounds so lovely," Mim said wistfully.

"Precisely." Aghoul grinned. "He may be a wild card…but he's actually a respectable one. I couldn't say that for the Mad Titan. I'll take having a new mortal nemesis any day over the Infinity Gauntlet."

"You think it wise to actively summon a being that will turn on us all?" Carrion seethed. "You have no idea what you are considering!"

"I thought you did that all the time," Letheo said, quite confused.

"No," Carrion sighed. "I speak because I have made a career of summoning denizens of the Dark that I am certain I can bend to my will, or strike an accord with. The Sacbrood, the Requiax – these, I could trust. I would never be so foolish as to call upon a NEPHAUREE! That is the equivalent of what you are suggesting!"

"Do you know what a Nephauree is?" Aghoul asked Mim.

She shook her head. "Nope."

"Then I guess we don't have anything to worry about, since we have no idea what you're even talking about," Aghoul said slyly.

"What flawless logic," Shape chortled.

"In that case, you can leave me out of it," Carrion sniffed.

"A smaller party would be better able to sneak around guarded territory anyway," Aghoul muttered. "Where exactly is Surtur locked up, again?"

"In the palace," Enmu revealed. "Right under the throne."

"Oh, how convenient!" Aghoul realized. "I still remember the floor plan from the last heist! I can lead the way! Mimsie, you'll be with me, of course. Then I'll need to take at least Ember and Coco."

"What?" Ember said.

"Y tho?" Coco asked.

"You'll see when we get there." Aghoul wagged a finger. "No spoiling the surprise, now!"

"One of you will come with us as a chaperone, won't you?" Mim looked from Enmu to Pollution.

"Take Pollution," Enmu said. "It seems most everyone wishes to remain onboard the train. It would be utter nonsense to detach my consciousness in that case."

"Gladly," Pollution said, eyes wide and sparkling. "The palace is so clean, so shiny. I wish to defile it!"

"Speaking of." Enmu smirked as his body pulled to a halt. "I do believe this is your stop."

"All right, abominable horde!" Aghoul spread out his arms. "Let's crash this funeral!"

He, Mim, Ember, Coco, and Pollution bolted off the train. As they did, Carrion turned to the others; "Who here actually believes they will succeed?"

"You're some kind of fucking pessimist, aren't you?" Verosika groaned. "Yeah. They're gonna win it. Always do."

"It's a valid operation." Sho grinned. "Now can we get some of those high-temp compositions to celebrate the impending victory?"

"As you wish." Enmu smirked. An electronic beat thumped throughout the train.

Aghoul had in fact remembered the floor plan. With most of the guards on the ready for Thanos, attention was divided, and it had actually been fairly easy to take down the light security that barred entry. From there, Aghoul took his small party right down to the vault where he'd battled Loki for the Tesseract and lost.

"Ghoulie!" Mim realized. "You don't think this could be our chance to make up for old crimes?"

"Why, it just may be!" Aghoul crowed. "All we have to do is – "

The Tesseract pedestal was of course empty.

"Oh, roses and ash," Aghoul cursed. "Ah well. Let's keep moving, shall we?"

Coco had found a pedestal containing a replica of the very gauntlet that Thanos had brought to destroy them all. Knowing there couldn't be two, she knocked it right over; "Totes fake."

"I'm not sure I get it," Ember snapped. "Why would an ancient entity from Muspelheim just be hanging out here in the treasure room?"

"We're not looking for a prisoner," Aghoul told her. "We're looking for a – "

"I found it!" Pollution grinned cheekily, wearing atop their head a gaunt and burnt-looking horned mask.

"…It's not your color," Ember sighed. "Or your style."

Pollution pouted.

"Now all we have to do is the ritual," Aghoul said. "We'll need a magic flame, such as the Eternal Flame, but that's going to be nowhere to be had. If Loki hid the Tesseract, of course he'd hide the flame as well. I wouldn't be surprised if another Overtaker had hold of it."

"Well, without the Eternal Flame, what can we use?" Mim asked.

"You see…" Aghoul smirked. "I think about now is when we should give our dear Ember the recognition she deserves."

Mim understood immediately. "Ember, why don't you give us a performance?"

"A performance?" Ember flinched. "What does that have to do with ANYTHING?"

"Are you passing up the opportunity to show off your talent for us and have us cheer for you?" Aghoul scoffed.

"…Yeah, you know what? I'm not, and I don't even care." Ember summoned her guitar in a cloud of teal smoke. She struck the opening chords before beginning to belt out, "You hear the screeching of an owl! You hear the wind begin to prowl! You know there's zombies on the prowl!" She then broke into a dance right then and there, prancing around the vault; "And it's terror time again! They got you running through the night!"

Aghoul and Mim started to cheer: "EM-BER! EM-BER!". But it was Coco, the biggest Ember McLain fangirl of them all, who was starry-eyed at the impromptu performance, leaping up and down as if in a most pit at a concert; "YEAH! EMBER W00T W00T!"

"It's terror time again!" Ember sang, feeling the adoration of the crowd surge into her, powering her up. "And you just might die of fright!" She dropped to her knees; her ponytail surged higher and higher from the praise. "It's a terrifying time – "

Aghoul cut her song off by ripping Surtur's crown off Pollution and thrusting it into Ember's hair. "We call upon thee, lord of the fiery south! Heed our commands and open unto us the gates of the fiery kingdoms! Send unto us Surtur, lord of the fire demons! We command thee!"

Ember broke off, stunned. "THAT'S why you wanted me to – that's not going to work!"

In Aghoul's hands, the crown burned red, beginning to shudder. Aghoul dropped it like a hot potato; it shivered on the floor.

"Should we run?" Coco asked as she, Ember, Pollution, Aghoul, and Mim observed the jittering crown.

"Yes," Aghoul affirmed. "We should."

The five of them bolted down the halls of the palace, the way they'd come – this time, the path was littered with dust, cobwebs, and smudges. Pollution's influence had already taken hold. A cloud of red flame glowed behind them, pursuing them, filling every hall of the palace. Ember was forced to play on the run, continuing her zombie apocalypse song and slamming chords that kept the fires just slightly at bay so the five could stay ahead of the chase.

Enmu saw the flames and smoke rising from the palace long before the five returned. "Either they're dead," he resolved, "or – "

Aghoul, Mim, Ember, Coco, and Pollution burst from the front gate. "MAKE LIKE A HEARSE AND ARRANGE OUR FINAL EXIT!" Aghoul screamed.

Enmu rolled into action, the train passing the five so that they could hop inside just before the eruption. As Enmu shot away from the palace like a bullet, the palace exploded, revealing a massive, monstrous figure that those of the Christian persuasion might mistake for the literal devil – skin that burned red with an innter fire, horns and claws, a massive flaming sword.

Loki could only gape at the display. "They released SURTUR?" It was quite unfortunate, everyone agreed, that he didn't even need to specify who "they" were.

"No fair whatsoever!" Imperious stamped a foot. "This was OUR victory!"

"Hey!" Blackheart hissed. "Let's not take this for granted, okay? We can use this. Just the once."

"Doom does not waste resources," Doom agreed. "Much as Victor hates to share the credit."

Loki rolled his eyes. "Much as I hate to say it…this does work MILDLY to our advantage."

Thanos and Amora-Ursus-Major were still locked in their standoff when Surtur rose high above them, sword blazing like a sun in the night sky.

"TODAY IS THE END OF ASGARD!" Surtur bellowed, bringing the sword down hard on the most powerful entities he could detect – right between Thanos and Amora-Ursus-Major. The connection between the two was broken, and while the massive machine rolled away with nary a scratch, Thanos was grazed by the flames, thrown aside by the shock of impact.

He was immediately on his feet, Power stone glowing. "I am a destroyer of worlds," he growled. "You think to overpower me?"

"YOU, A DESTROYER OF WORLDS?" Surtur laughed. "AS AM I!"

He brought down the sword again, this time at an angle to cleave Thanos in half. Thanos caught the sword in the Infinity Gauntlet, pushing back with all his might – like an ant holding off a crushing heel.

A great blow of magic pummeled Thanos from all sides. All he knew at first was that he'd stumbled, slipping, and it was by mere chance that he'd just fallen far away enough from the sword's blade to avoid being split. It didn't take him long at all to realize what was going on. The Overtakers had taken advantage of the situation – while Surtur had him pinned, they'd all fired. And they were readying to do it again – magic playing at the hands of Doom, Loki, and Blackheart while Amora charged a massive beam.

"A-ONE!" Caleb cried as Surtur's sword was lifted. "A-TWO! A-ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR!"

Around that time, as Enmu sped away from the palace, he asked, "Do you want a mere escape, or – "

"OF COURSE NOT!" Mim crowed. "TAKE US RIGHT TO THE FIGHT!"

"Let's show that Thanos who's really boss!" Aghoul cackled.

Enmu turned so sharply that he listed to one side; Carrion and Nevan were thrown off balance and rolled across the floor. Then the train looped back toward the scene of the brawl.

Thanos was under fire from not only Surtur but all of Loki's alliance. If it were one or the other, he could have been a match. This, however, was proving a challenge that he was beginning to suspect he wouldn't survive.

There was only one way that he would get out of this. He needed to remove Surtur's soul and break his mind, if that were at all possible. As he threw raw Power to fend off Ursus Major, Loki, and Doom, he concentrated on Surtur's very essence of being, activating the Soul and Mind stone.

"Say it with me!" Aghoul yelled from the front cabin.

Everyone onboard except Carrion screamed the fated words: "I LIKE TRAINS!"

Thanos never saw it coming. Enmu wheeled completely over the nearest building, dropping down into the square, and before Thanos could react, the demon train had slammed into him, driving him several miles off course.

He rolled away, over at least one more mile. He saw a flash – Surtur's flame. He felt a sharp pain. The sword had come down beside him again, but again he had missed it by a hair – he had lived! All he needed to do was start again, build up more power, target Surtur's soul and mind once more –

He found that he could not. The gauntlet wouldn't respond. Probably because it was laying several feet away, still on Thanos' hand.

Surtur's sword had lopped off his arm.

Ursus Major built up the final blow. Surtur raised his sword high. Doom and Loki rose high, glowing with emerald auras.

"Lady Death…" Thanos smiled. "I could not give to you what I had hoped. Please…accept me as your sacrifice instead."

The sword came down. Ursus Major fired. So did Doom and Loki.

At the end of it, there was hardly anything left of Thanos. Just the disembodied arm.

Still high in the sky, Loki looked to Doom; "I refuse to let my kingdom fall to this harbinger of destruction!"

"He will be far easier to detain," Doom reminded him.

"So he will," Loki affirmed. "Shall we, then?"

"Let us not delay a moment longer."

Together, they hurtled toward Surtur. Now that they didn't need him to play backup against Thanos, they could focus on him – and him, Loki knew how to banish. Loki circled Surtur one way, letting off all manner of magical projectiles and forcing Surtur to quickly parry. Doom circled him the opposite way, drawing a sigil in the air.

Meanwhile, Blackheart, Imperious, and Caleb watched from the ground; Amora had a perfect view from Ursus Major. It was Imperious who heard the slight sound behind them all, whirling and crying out "YOU DARE – "

Corvus and Proxima, having seen the end of their master, were now focused only on removing those who'd eliminated him from the picture. Imperious stamped a foot, once more growing as large as could be – as large as Surtur himself. His fan whipped down to block Corvus and Proxima. They smacked against it like flies to a windshield; Imperious raised the fan high, flinging them into the sky.

Aghoul and Mim had gathered on Enmu's rear deck, everyone else trying to squeeze in to get a glimpse as the Asgardian palace and the massive Surtur grew further and further away. Enmu, in the meantime, was taking care of the remaining Outriders, running them over en masse – though really, between Ozzie's forces, Mysterio, and the Asgardian military, there weren't even that many left.

Cull Obsidian leapt out front of the train – he'd never been the smartest of the Black Order – and was promptly run over. He came out the other side barely alive, and Carrion casually tossed a loose Nightmare at his broken body, watching him writhe as it entered his ear. In a few moments, he wouldn't even be barely alive anymore.

"Well, either way, one nuisance gets rid of the other," Aghoul said. "Who do you think? Surtur or the Overtakers?"

"I would say Surtur for certain," Mim said confidently. "After all, there's absolutely no way that – "

Doom's sigil activated. Loki and Amora fed magic into it (as well as the souls trapped in Ursus Major) to power it up. At the last possible second, Imperious flicked his fan, sending Corvus and Proxima into the sigil's bounds. There was a blinding flash of green, like a nuclear bomb – and then Surtur was gone, having taken Corvus and Proxima with him, leaving only the rubble of the Asgardian palace.

"Never mind," Mim huffed.

"Well, this looks like a win to me," Verosika observed.

"It is over, then?" Carrion asked. "The lord of Muspelheim is fallen?"

"HELL YEAH!" Sho cheered.

"No, that wasn't a kill spell," Mim groaned. "They couldn't do that and they knew it, so they just banished him somewhere else. Where, I don't know."

Skulker nodded. "Two of the Black Order went with him."

"How do you know that?" Aghoul asked.

Skulker tapped his helmet. "Magnification eyes. I watched it all go down!"

"I mean, I almost have to respect them," Verosika said. "The Black Order AND Surtur. If they'd been on our side, we could've really brought the party." She shrugged. "But they weren't today, so fuck 'em."

Aghoul sighed, exhaling a few cobwebs. "Well, that's that, I suppose. We didn't manage to bring down Loki, and after today, I don't know what will. But we managed to escape Thanos with our lives, and now we don't have to worry about HIM anymore."

"We do have to worry about Surtur," Mim brought up, "but that's half the fun of it!"

"And the real treasure was the friends we made along the way!" Coco cheered.

"Yeah," Whisp agreed. "It was." Beside her, Letheo and Valentine had their arms around each other's waists, pulling each other close to punctuate the point.

"ENMU!" Aghoul called. "BRING THE TRAIN AROUND! We need to find Mysterio and rendez-vous with Ozzie!"

"As you wish!" Enmu chuckled, and the train made yet another sharp pivot so that Carrion was almost flung clean off the deck.

With most of the Outriders gone, three out of four Black Order accounted for, Surtur banished, and Thanos dead, Loki realized he could finally rest on his laurels. He and Doom landed; Doom's first order of business was to collect the discarded Infinity Gauntlet.

"Only three stones remain," he observed. "Better three than none, I suppose."

"We may retrieve the others in time," Loki said smugly. "After all, we have certainly earned time this day."

Asgardians, bruised and battered, hurried to the palace steps to affirm that the rumors were true: Odin had fallen, but Loki had returned to avenge him. "Loki," someone called out. "Is it true? Is it…you?"

Loki smirked. He waved a hand, re-forging some of the palace debris into a raised platform where he ascended and stood before his people.

"Citizens of Asgard," he said smugly. "…My people. I regret that I could not arrive in time to save my father from such a grisly fate. However, it is in his memory that I will solemnly take the throne. You need no longer fear the wrath of such tyrants as the Mad Titan."

A cheer went up. Loki grinned. This was going to be so easy.

"Of course, in order to brace against future threats, changes will need to be made." He conjured a throne from the wreckage, setting it on the platform and taking a seat. "And I have many, many changes in mind for this kingdom."

...

The gateway to Vallestrella was located in a cavern near a mountain peak. It looked completely unassuming at first, with red stone walls and not very much depth to it. However, the large paw print etched into the ground indicated there was more here than met the eye.

Twitch, in the form of a jaquin, pranced around the cave proudly. "When you tell this story later, you can say that none of it would've happened without ME!"

"Will you just open the gate?" Yzma hissed.

"Sheesh." Twitch rolled his eyes. "Let a guy brag a little, will ya?"

Yzma cleared her throat. Then, in as dramatic of a tone as she could muster: "Activate the paw print, Twitch!" Then she snickered. "And this time there's NO wrong paw print, so there won't be any mishaps!"

"What is she talking about?" Daria muttered.

"Long story," Wuya replied.

She, Wuya, Daria, and Morgana watched as Twitch danced onto the paw print design. "Open up! 'Cause I said so!"

The rear wall of the cavern dissolved into a tunnel of golden light, a pathway between dimensions.

"That's a little flashier than I was expecting." Wuya nodded. "Respect points."

Into the tunnel the four women and their jaquin stepped. The other side was a gateway carved into a rainbow-toned rock. From there, a wonderland was visible: a jungle of all colors, where hybrid animals such as butterfrogs, peabunnies, and floringos meandered peacefully. The jaquins' castle, a rock formation that had been hollowed out and honed down to look more like a place of residence, loomed on the horizon, its stones sparkling all colors in the golden sunlight.

"Wow," Wuya said. "It's so – "

"Horrible," Yzma snarled. "I HATE the jungle."

"Was more than one building really too much to ask?" Wuya grumbled. "Apparently."

"Wha – " Daria looked at them in disbelief. "It's not my favorite either, but this is a realm for jaquins and other creatures! Not humans, sirenas, or other merfolk! Of COURSE they didn't put buildings here! Everything that lives here lives in the jungle!"

"Then everything that lives here has terrible taste," Yzma scoffed. "Well, where do we start looking for this 'sun inside the moon'?"

"We don't have any sort of lead from here," Morgana realized. "We'll have to search the whole realm! Great. Just wonderful!"

"I mean, with the right transportation, we could do that pretty quickly," Wuya said slyly.

"What do you – " Yzma asked. Then it hit her. "Oh!"

Within moments, another sky tram – this one on an undefinably long line that was fixed to nothing, just appearing out of the sky as needed and vanishing if not – was making the rounds of Vallestrella. The flight patterns of the local butterfrogs were disrupted, of course, and several of the winged amphibians smacked into the windshield.

"To your right, you'll see the tackiest rock palace since Chase Young," Wuya announced, once more wearing a tour guide's uniform. "Really should go back and do something about it now that he can't use it anymore, now that I think about it. On your left, there's trees, trees, and more trees. In a few minutes, we'll be coming up on…" Wuya looked out the front window. There were several dazed butterfrogs practically pasted there from the collision earlier. Wuya waved a hand, and a pair of windshield wipers slid them away so she could get a better look. "Oh, that's nice. There's a little valley down there with a crescent-shaped lake and a circular…whatever you call an island that's still connected to land."

"Peninsula," Morgana volunteered.

"No, that's not it," Yzma sighed.

"Almost looks like a little sun inside a crescent moon," Wuya said with a smile. "That's kitschy, but the best aesthetic we're going to get around here. Anyway, on the right – "

"HOLD ON," Daria barked.

"Ohhhh, I realize what I just said now," Wuya muttered.

The tram dropped them off at the edge of the circular valley. True to Wuya's word, the grassy miniature peninsula beneath was bordered by a crescent lake that reflected pure blue. A steep footpath led down into the valley's depths; its angle forced Yzma and Wuya to walk very slowly so as not to fall. Morgana and Daria simply swam through the air and waited for them at the bottom.

"…I know you want to go join them," Yzma grumbled.

"This is fine," Wuya said.

"You're doing this just to make me feel less embarrassed. Which is making me feel more embarrassed."

"No. I'm doing this because. Of reasons."

"Hey, uh, Yzma?" Twitch pulled down next to her, flapping his black-and-white wings. "You could just ride the rest of the way down on my back. Like a horse!"

"Huh," Yzma realized. "Now that you offer, I – "

Her high heel hit a rough patch. All her work was for naught as she tripped, somersaulted, and barrel rolled the rest of the way down the path, screaming all the way.

Wuya immediately took flight, zooming down to the edge of the path and bending at just the right time to catch the rolling Yzma and scoop her into a bridal carry. As Wuya held up a very scuffed and disheveled Yzma, she smirked; "Am I slick or what?"

"Rrgh – " Yzma wriggled out of Wuya's grip. "I am in NO MOOD!" She stormed three steps forward, then turned back around to face Wuya. "Actually, remind me to say a proper thank-you when I'm not overflowing with rage. Maybe two hours later?"

"Whenever's good," Wuya replied.

The squad of five gathered on the peninsula, staring down into the waters. "Ah, there it is!" Morgana pointed to a glittering object at the very bottom of the lake. "That will be easy to – "

"Now hold on!" Yzma barked. "After last time, NO ONE gets to pick up the scepter without me being there!"

"Can you even hold your breath long enough to get to it?" Daria snapped. "Because I don't think you can."

"Don't underestimate me!" Yzma barked.

"She has survived weirder," Wuya affirmed.

"The point is," Yzma continued, "I am NOT – "

Her enchantlet sprang back to life, showing a vision of Darla. "Yz-maaaa! So good to see you!"

Yzma rolled her eyes. "What is it NOW?"

Morgana and Daria edged closer to the water. Wuya flew out in front of them, holding out a hand to halt them and shaking her head.

"Really?" Daria hissed.

"Really," Wuya said, looking to Yzma.

Yzma wandered a few paces to take the call more privately. Not that it mattered, since the enchantlet was showing Darla very clearly to anyone who looked at it. As she did so, she moved in front of a particular blue butterfrog that bathed in the sun, butterfly wings outstretched as he lay on his lumpy back. Yzma's frame passed between him and that sun, casting him in shadow. "Hey!" he barked.

"So we put out the tax order like you said," Darla said sweetly. "And they said no."

"Wha – " Yzma groaned. "WHY do I have to keep saying this? Just because they say NO is no reason for us not to do what we want!"

"Well, here's the thing," Darla went on. "They also said that if we try and force the issue, there's going to be a rebel group that rises against us, and funny thing…they're already claiming me as their mascot, which technically means our plan is working. It also means I'm going to have to put in a personal appearance to tell the people to storm Yzmatopia."

"DO NOT DO THAT!" Yzma screamed.

"What am I supposed to do, then?" Darla spat. "Tell them NOT to storm Yzmatopia? Give the whole game away by breaking character? They'll figure me out in a minute!"

The butterfrog tugged at Yzma's skirt. "Hey, lady! You're blockin' my sun!"

"Pardon me a moment." Yzma looked away from Darla, down to the butterfrog. "I don't care." Back to Darla. "You can't just feed them some half-truth about 'now is not the time' or something convenient?"

"I don't really see what I could say that would convince them of that," Darla said.

"Novelists do it all the time when they need the plot to go in a certain direction that wouldn't even make sense!" Yzma argued. "Even those independent online writers who do those informal non-monetizable sequels to popular media know how to do that! It's probably even happened to us a couple times!"

"Why would it have happened to us?" Darla asked. "We aren't characters in some non-monetizable amateur sequel script."

"I…don't know why I said that, actually," Yzma admitted. "But the point stands!"

"LADY!" the butterfrog barked. "I'm gonna give you one last chance!"

Yzma kicked the butterfrog, sending him flying with a cry of indignation. "All right. You want to know how to REALLY play both sides of this? Set them up to fail. Lead a resistance right into a massive gauntlet of traps. Set up all the magical weaponry in the armory in one place, then lead them to that place because it's supposedly the best route to infiltrate the palace. Stage an entire conflict between our side and theirs, except you're running both sides and technically just fighting yourself."

"Now there's an idea!" Darla gasped. "I knew you'd be able to solve the problem!"

"Very good," Yzma grumbled. "No more problem, no more resistance, no more emergency, no more enchantlet call, we're DONE."

She disconnected and stormed back to her allies.

The butterfrog regained his bearings. He wasn't going to be disrespected like that. He also happened to know for a fact that this little lake, much like the more infamous Agua Dulce Pond a few miles over, was host to some stray roots of a shapeshifting tree nestled in the belly of Vallestrella. In turn, those roots contaminated the water, making the entire crescent a shapeshifting hotspot.

"Now, where was I?" Yzma said. "Ah, yes! I'm going to retrieve that scepter piece!" She broke into a run, making a swan dive into the lake.

The moment she was submerged, the butterfrog muttered "Itty bitty kitty cat."

Within seconds, Yzma was back on the surface, floundering and sputtering – and in the form of a soft gray cat. "WHAT?" she screeched in a tinny voice. "HOW? AGAIN?"

"What does she mean 'again'?" Daria asked.

"Again, long story," Wuya explained.

The now tiny Yzma dragged herself on shore, shaking out her luxurious fur. "How could this possibly be?" she snapped. "Whose bright idea was THIS?"

"Oh, I see!" Twitch had spotted the purple roots glowing beneath the lake. "That's a shapeshifting tree! It must be contaminating the water. If somebody said 'cat,' then you'd turn into a cat!"

"WHO SAID 'CAT,' THEN?" Yzma yelled. "Morgana, if this is your idea of a PRANK – "

"Don't look at me!" Morgana put her hands up. "Is there anyone else you made angry lately?"

"Of course not!" Yzma said. "Since we got here, I…oh." Her eyes widened. "That FROG."

"The one you kicked?" Wuya realized. "I'd say you probably made him angry, yeah."

"Thing is, with a shapeshifter tree, the only way to change back is to have the person who turned you undo the spell," Twitch observed. "Or, y'know, the frog."

Yzma bounded toward the outer rim of the peninsula on four tiny feet, only for the butterfrog to land in her path; "Nope! Not doing it! There's nothing you can do that would make me change you back!"

"I'll kill you if you don't!" Yzma threatened.

"Then who would reverse the spell, huh?" the butterfrog snarked.

"…You have a point," Yzma muttered.

"Anyway, I'm gonna go find a location with better sun," the butterfrog said. "Nice knowing ya! NOT!"

He was aloft. Yzma swatted, but before she could move, the butterfrog had left.

"Why didn't any of you stop him?" Yzma growled.

"Because there was literally no point," Wuya replied.

"Well, then at least one of you could've killed him to avenge me," Yzma grumbled.

"Well, sor-ry!" Morgana scoffed. "I thought we were here to collect scepter pieces, not do Yzma's dirty revenge missions for her!"

Yzma rolled her eyes. "If I didn't know better, I'd think we WERE in some sort of unmonetized amateur sequel and whoever's at the wheel just didn't want the butterfrog to die."

"Well, that's not even close to what's happening right now," Wuya said. "Anyway, I'm sure that's not literally the only way in all the worlds to reverse the spell. After all, they don't have your potions here on this world."

"They don't, do they?" Yzma realized, grinning with her sharp little teeth. "As soon as we get back to Yzmatopia, I will take my gorgeous human form again! Unfortunately, this means I won't be able to get the scepter piece, so one of YOU will have to dive for it."

"One of us?" Morgana backed off. "Well, don't look at me! If that frog is still watching from somewhere, I could end up a cat too!"

"Not risking it," Daria agreed.

"I will!" Twitch dove into the lake, transforming into a barracuda on the way down.

In fact, the butterfrog was watching, from the very uppermost rim of the little valley. "Butterfrog," he whispered.

Twitch burst from the water, a black frog on white wings with intricate black patterns. The next piece of the scepter – the mount for the gem – was clutched in his stubby arms. He landed on the shore, put down the scepter piece, and transformed into a jaquin once more. He waved a paw up at the butterfrog; "Strangeling!"

"Augh!" the butterfrog growled. Of course shapeshifting had no permanent effect on a shapeshifter. Admitting defeat, he just hopped off to find a new lake.

"There should be another riddle around here somewhere," Daria pointed out. "Morgana? Would you like to do the honors?"

Morgana used the trident to cast a revealing green light over the whole little valley. The rock wall at the edge of the water revealed words in luminous purple writing.

"When you reach the highest of heights," Daria read off, "the Jewel of Night will be in the clasp of your claw."

"Let's get back in the tram to figure it out," Twitch suggested.

"Anyone remember where we left off?" Wuya asked.

"Yeah," Twitch said. "We were kinda by this big mountain shaped like a jaquin claw. Probably the biggest mountain in the realm by the looks of it."

It then dawned on everyone at once. "I'm starting to think we may not be the smartest team," Morgana realized.

"We're just having a bad day!" Wuya retorted. "We're plenty smart!"

"And I, your genius leader, will blaze the trail!" Yzma padded over to the scepter piece, attempting to pick it up in her tiny paws. "Just as soon as I – " She bit an edge, hoping it would lift easily.

"Okay, I'll carry that." Wuya swiped it up. Seeing Yzma's angry pout, Wuya then added, "Also, while we have this size dynamic, this is probably the only time we're ever going to be able to do this."

She conjured herself a sizeable backpack, shaped like a flowing purple tent with clear-plastic windows that revealed a plethora of small pillows inside. Yzma, immediately knowing where this was going, leapt into the pack.

"This is admittedly a silver lining," she said. Then, noticing the shimmering interior of the pack: "Ooh, a silver lining!"

"All right, everyone." Wuya turned to the steep path, ready to fly up out of it. "Two down. One to go."

...

The hallways that connected the Grandmaster's skyscraper were practically a labyrinth. Obviously the building had started out small and then the Grandmaster had just added to it as more trash had built up on Sakaar, resulting in stairs that led to blank walls, doors that opened on steep drops, and other such architectural oddities.

Rhona and DJ had just managed to find the exit of a hall that was somehow a perfect Mobius strip. Now they were on the hunt for the next computer terminal.

"HEY YOU!"

The two of them froze. A league of security guards was headed their way.

"Should we d…o Get Help again?" DJ asked.

"NO," Rhona hissed.

The guards reached them, pulling to a halt. "What are you doing here?" the leader asked. "This is off-limits!"

Rhona and DJ looked to one another, then back to the guards. "W…ell, you see – " DJ began.

The guard immediately dropped to one knee. "I'm sorry, Collector! I didn't know it was you!"

The rest of the guards, save one, copied the gesture. The remaining one was pulled down with a hiss of "BOW, Joel! Are you an idiot?"

"I'm pretty sure that's the guy who threw that girl at me earlier," Joel grumbled as he took the knee.

"You have to forgive me," the lead guard said. "The change in hair and clothes was very dramatic."

Neither Rhona nor DJ knew how to respond to that. Then Rhona ventured, "Are you talking to – "

"You must be the Collector's new assistant!" the lead guard said. "Understandable, after the…Power Stone incident."

Rhona looked to DJ. DJ just gave a slight shrug. "You know, I'm not too happy with the whole not-recognizing-me thing, b…ut I'm gonna let you off with a slap on the wr…ist because you showed me the appropriate respect. J…ust don't let it happen again."

"What orders would you like us to undertake?" the lead guard asked. "I'm certain anything you say will be ratified by the Grandmaster!"

"Um…" DJ thought it over. "Get us…a room. A new room. One that's n…ot being used right now."

"Is the usual guest room not to your liking?" the lead guard asked.

"No," DJ replied. "That's why I'm asking for a new one."

The lead guard stood. "As you wish, Collector! And once again, my apologies!"

The guards turned to march as an escort force. DJ and Rhona took that opportunity to fire each other a look of disbelief. Neither one really had any idea of what had just happened.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Joel said. "I'm pretty sure we're gonna regret it if we just let these guys roam around."

"You do NOT say that about the Grandmaster's esteemed guest!" the lead guard hissed.

And then they were off to find a prime suite.

...

---

When "Team Yang-Roman" (referred to in the non-Heathens wagon as "Team Roman-Yang") finally battled across the Hellion-infected countryside and reached the city of Lastonbell, they were greeted by a surprise.

"Guess what, everyone?" Magilou did a pirouette. "The band is back!"

"We remember everything," Eleanor explained. "The good and the bad. And…" She smiled. "I'm happy to. We – or the originals, I guess – they lived good lives."

"Guess what?" Rokurou said excitedly. "I died in this town!"

"And I killed him in this town," Eizen grumbled.

"You were a dragon at the time and out of your mind," Rokurou reminded him with a playful nudge. "That can't be held against you."

"Oh!" Molly gasped. "That's right! There are people who want to see you! You should come out now!"

Four sparks flew from her body, and Mikleo, Lailah, Edna, and Zaveid stood there in the road. Lailah gave a sharp gasp; "Is that – "

"…Edna," Eizen said softly.

Edna nodded. "Eizen." Her voice was just as soft. "You're…"

"Not who you think I am," Eizen told her. "The Eizen you knew is…gone."

"He's chilling with the first me somewhere in the afterlife," Rokurou said with a grin. "Bet on it!"

"But I remember everything he does," Eizen went on. "I feel everything he felt. I'm built of Velvet's memories, and she preserved me perfectly. That's the mark of a good friend."

"What about a good brother?" Edna asked hoarsely. "You left me. You left to go on your stupid adventure, and…and…did we have this conversation before?"

"Yes and no," Eizen said. "There was a glimpse of something. Travelers from another world found a way here, and they mentioned you. There was a convergence of realms and times, and it was erased from our memories. But I saw the planet's own memory of when they spoke to me. Or…two of them, actually."

"Now I remember," Edna said. "Wasn't one of them a big dummy with white hair?"

"In one timeline, he was," Eizen told her. "But…there was somehow another memory the planet itself had. He wasn't there. Instead, it was – "

"That lady with blue hair," Edna realized. "What was her name? Tara?"

"Tari," Eizen said. "Otherwise, the man was Alphen. Either way, they traveled with Shionne. And I think you and I…met."

"Okay, is this dual timeline thing going to be relevant?" Roman whispered.

"Probably not," Giovanni said. "It sounds like something from another story that just has to be accounted for really quick to keep the continuity in order."

"…Continuity?"

"Like history," Giovanni corrected.

"Maybe we did," Edna said. "Well." She dabbed at her eyes with her wrist. "I'm just going to assume that if and when we did, we talked about…all the things we needed to talk about. I'm not in the mood to cry right now, so let's just assume everything's settled. How does that sound?"

Eizen nodded. "I still should've found a better way. But you're right that we probably came to an agreement."

"Now that Molly's the Shepherd," Laphicet pointed out, "all of the seraphs are bonded to her. The two of you can make up for lost time back in Twilight Town."

Edna shifted her weight to one hip. "Is that true? Or are you just gonna run off again to 'protect' me from your curse?"

"To be honest, I keep forgetting I even am cursed," Eizen admitted. "It's almost like being around our new friends is…a buffer to the horrible luck."

"That or we're all just such a hot mess anyway that no one even notices!" Magilou chuckled. "That's how it was in Titania, right?"

"Now that's nostalgia," Velvet said with a smile. "Now you remember – "

"Yes!" Eleanor beamed. "Everything we went through together. I'm glad you were able to get us back."

"I'm still part of this, right?" Emerald voiced.

"Of course you are!" Magilou told her. "After a thousand years of the same, we needed to add a little someone new to our love story to keep it fresh! Well…that, and we like you."

"We have so much to tell you about now!" Eleanor squealed.

There was a cry of "BOSS!" and the other Banzai Blasters – Car Crash, Crusher, Spike, Dark Star, Flamethrower, Ben – came hurtling across the town square, tackling Giovanni.

"BOYS!" Giovanni was practically in tears, followed by being literally in tears. "I missed you so much!"

"We missed you too!" Car Crash cried.

"WE LOVE YOU!" Crusher bellowed. "ESPECIALLY ME!"

Then the horde of Blasters turned away from him to lift Molly airborne; "BEAR TRAP!"

"Uh…hi, guys," Molly said as she was hoisted up high. "So…I'm kind of the savior of the world now?"

"THAT'S SO AWESOME!" Flamethrower yelled.

"Tell us all about it!" Dark Star said.

Rosh, Felice, Talfryn, and Eguille came jogging up to the group as well. "Hey!" Felice waved to Rose.

"I see you took good care of the Blasters," Rose said. "Good job!" She gave a thumbs-up.

Eguille glowered at one particular new addition to the team. "Lunarre."

"Eguille." Lunarre grinned, showing off his fangs. "So good to see you again. I needed to measure how much meat was on your bones."

"Try it and I'll deck you," Yang threatened.

"Yeah, I'm starting to feel a little out-Heathened here," Roman said. "WHAMMERs are way in the minority."

"Well, too bad," Velvet told him.

"And this reunion couldn't have happened at a better time!" Giovanni said. "We need to stir up an angry mob! If you guys all scatter, we can definitely make it look like there was already an angry mob brewing, and everyone else will join in!"

"And who's going to play our leading role?" Foulfellow asked.

"I mean, I AM the one of us here who can work a crowd – " Roman began.

Yang made a raspberry sound. "No. No, you're not. Blake told us how much control you had over the White Fang, and your whole 'you aren't so different from me' speech where she didn't buy a single word of it."

"It's not like the last time I tried, it ended in me getting swarmed by the cops and nearly executed by drowning!" Roman argued.

"That's so specific, I'm certain it's what really happened," Symonne sighed. "I would take the role myself, but it seems I'm not exactly visible to plebeian eyes."

"Elsa?" Velvet asked. "You are royalty. I'm betting you know how to get people riled up!"

"Yes, I do," Elsa said nervously. "I know how to make people afraid of ME. I know how to divide a kingdom, not unite it! This is why I left Arendelle to Anna!"

"Should we go get her instead?" Velvet asked.

"I…um…" Elsa hesitated. "I don't think this is exactly her…strong suit."

"Are you just trying to sugarcoat that your sister's a dumbass?" Roman laughed.

"Don't you EVER call her that!" Elsa snapped.

"I thinks the lady protests too much," Pinstripe pointed out. "Definitely a dumb sister!"

"Yes, but is it the idea of good quality to make angry the woman who can freeze us all into delicious popsicles?" Karnage mused.

"No," Maltran groaned. "It isn't. Now, if no one else is going to step up to the plate, I will."

"YOU?" Rose scoffed. "You're a war criminal recognized in both countries! No one's gonna listen to you!"

"We made sure everyone knew about your wrongdoings after you were killed," Mikleo insisted.

"After I 'was killed'?" Maltran scoffed. "Don't gloss over who did that killing."

"Yeah, yeah, after we assassinated you," Rose huffed. "It happens. Sometimes you gotta kill somebody. It's not like it's something we're ashamed about."

"Wow!" Yang said with an exaggerated smile. "That went over exactly as well as Roman trying to convince Blake that she was evil! You guys really ARE teammates!"

"Okay, that's it." Roman took out his scroll. "I'm calling a professional. Sorry, Archie, I'm stealing a fucker from your list, since you got all the sweet talkers." He scrolled through the assignments for the recruitment drive. "Gotta be someone here with a résumé we can work with…"

"Everyone, just stop fighting!" Giovanni groaned. "I'll do it, okay? I know how to rally people around a cause!"

"DO you?" Roman scoffed.

"Uh, yeah, I do," Giovanni scoffed right back. "See: me and the Banzai Blasters! All I have to do is treat everyone here like the extended Banzai Blasters who we're only going to have for one mission! It's easy!"

"That...admittedly does make sense," Velvet said.

"Do we have proof of this?" Roman asked.

"We don't have any proof he'll be bad at it," Yang pointed out. "Unlike you."

"You are SO lucky I'm in the mood to keep honoring this stupid truce," Roman grumbled. "All right, let's see what John Thicksoup has to offer us here."

"First things first," Giovanni said, "you guys scatter. We need to plant you all to make it look like this was the everyman's idea. Oh, and could somebody steal me a megaphone?"

"This better not get STUPID," Roman groaned.

Within fifteen minutes, Giovanni stood at the edge of the park wall, overlooking the whole city. Someone had, indeed, found him a megaphone, which Roman hadn't even expected to exist on this world.

"ATTENTION LASTONBELL!" Giovanni bellowed into it, his voice echoing throughout the city. "I NEED YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!"

Everyone in the vicinity looked up to him with curiosity.

"GUESS WHAT?" Giovanni barked. "REMEMBER YOUR OLD ENEMY HELDALF WHO PITTED YOU AGAINST EACH OTHER AND TURNED THE WORLD INTO A TOXIC CESSPOOL OF DARKNESS? WELL, THAT'S THE GUY WHO JUST CAUSED THE NEW MIASMA AND ALL THE HELLIONS YOU'VE BEEN DEALING WITH!"

A gasp went up through the audience. Giovanni spotted, from the corner of his eye, a group that was just putting a Hellion to rest.

"SEE?" He pointed. "THAT RIGHT THERE! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, WELL, WHO ELSE WOULD DO THIS EXACT THING?"

"That's what I've been wondering myself," Symonne muttered to herself.

"BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO SIT HERE AND TAKE IT!" Giovanni yelled. "TOGETHER, WE CAN RISE UP! WE CAN FACE DOWN THE ENEMY AND PUT THE FEAR IN HIM! IT'S A MILLION TO ONE! NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE COMPLACENT! WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING!"

That was when he started to sing, and Roman lost all hope in the operation.

"Something is lurking! Something is near!" Giovanni belted out. "Something is feeling stranger, stranger! Stirring up Darkness, whipping up fear! Whispering softly, 'Danger! Danger!'" He broke into a dance, gesturing to his audience. "Hellions creep up slow and steady! Teeth glistening, claws at the ready! Think what they could do to the status quo!"

"OH NOOOO!" Magilou yelled. It was time for the plants to do their job.

"They're gonna steal, plunder and pillage!" Giovanni yelled. "They're gonna raze and burn each village! Don't just sit on your ass and do nothing and wait! LET'S ENTER A BLIND, IRRATIONAL STATE!"

Now he was really rocking out, a one-man concert who seemed to have forgotten almost all about the propaganda aspect of the show. "Better get nervous! Better get tense! Better not let them catch you blinking! You don't need a reason, ladies and gents! This is no time for sober thinking!" He thrust a fist high. "MOB!"

"MOB!" Molly yelled back at him.

"MA-MA-MOB, MOB!" Giovanni yelled. "MOB!"

"MOB!" all the Banzai Blasters chorused.

"ANGRY, ANGRY!" Giovanni belted. "MOB, MOB! MA-MA-MOB, MOB! MOB, MOB, ANGRY, ANGRY!"

Roman pulled his hat down over his face. He couldn't have asked for worse.

"Sharpen your senses! Sharpen your tongues!" Giovanni was beckoning to the crowd. "Sharpen your moral indignation! Gather in groups and ready your lungs! Holler with pent-up aggravation! Mob, mob, ma-ma-mob, mob! Mob! Mob! Angry, angry! MOB, MOB, MA-MA-MOB, MOB! MOB! MOB! ANGRY, ANGRY!"

"They passed me over for this," Roman hissed into his hat.

"Fight!" Giovanni encouraged. "See in black and white! That's your human right! Time to lift your heads and proudly throng! Numbers make you strong! Millions can't be wrong! Especially when they're screamin' loudly! You might not have a radishbell to borrow. Are you saddled with your sorrow? Are you scared about tomorrow? Well, it's all gonna work out painlessly…IF YOU FOLLOW MY ORDERS BRAINLESSLY!"

He pointed out to the city. "WHO ARE WE?"

"WE'RE AN ANGRY MOB!" his fellow Heathens – and only the Heathens – yelled back.

"WHAT ARE WE?" Giovanni asked.

"WE'RE AN ANGRY MOB!" the Heathens responded. This time, at least, Tawna chimed in out of pity.

"LOOK AT THIS CORN!" Giovanni held up a vegetable he'd picked up from a nearby stall. (It was a potato.) "IT'S ON THE COB! AND LOOK AT THAT GUY!" He pointed directly to Roman.

"Horrible job," Roman snarled.

"MOB, MOB, MA-MA-MOB, MOB! MOB! MOB! ANGRY, ANGRY!" Giovanni spun and twirled. "MOB, MOB, MA-MA-MOB, MOB! MOB! MOB! ANGRY, ANGRY!"

The other Heathens took the chorus up as a chant. Velvet held up a torch, and anyone who had anything remotely glowing did the same, waving the lights back and forth. "MOB, MOB, MA-MA-MOB, MOB! MOB! MOB! ANGRY, ANGRY! MOB, MOB, MA-MA-MOB, MOB! MOB! MOB!"

"ANGRY ANGRY MOB!" Giovanni did a stage dive. No one was there to catch him; thankfully, Velvet leapt into action and hurtled into place to stop him from breaking every bone in his body.

"Just put him out of his misery at this point!" Roman sighed.

"Well?" Giovanni looked around to the people that stared at him with wide eyes. "Have I motivated you? Are we gonna march over to that Calix place and bust down the door until Heldalf has to cry uncle and wave the white flag?"

Within only a few minutes, people had started instead to pile up sandbags inside the gates of Lastonbell and fortify the walls so that nothing could get in. They hustled back and forth in blind panic, with civilians rushing to the shops to raid the shelves.

"Well, you tried," Rose said as she patted the shoulder of a defeated Giovanni.

"DID HE, THOUGH?" Roman yelled.

Neo stood beside him and executed a facepalm for effect.

"That's it," Roman grumbled. "While you were being an absolute waste of the gods' energy, I was looking up that professional I'd mentioned earlier." He held up his scroll. "I'm grabbing one more recruit. Someone who's MOTIVATED crowds before and scared people into submission! Anyway, I'm going this solo unless someone who is NOT ON THE HEATHENS TEAM volunteers. Nothing against you. I just need to make sure this job actually gets done right for once."

"For all you know, the only reason that song failed is because of my Reaper's Curse!" Eizen argued.

"No, it wasn't," Edna sighed. "He's got a point."

"And what do you think you're playing at, running off all on your own?" Symonne stormed toward Roman. "Is that truly how you wish this to play out after everything we've been through? First you lost me, and then we lost Archibald, and I'm not completing the pattern by throwing YOU to the dogs! Besides, if we're going to another world, it will be somewhere I'm actually visible and can be of USE!"

"I'm going to have to sign myself up for this mission," Maltran said. "After all, all I've got to do so far is cut down some Hellions. Far too dull for my tastes."

"And speaking of tastes," Lunarre said…and left it at that.

"You want an interdimensional buffet," Roman said with a knowing smile. "I like." He turned to Neo. "You want in?"

Neo was immediately at his side, giving a thumbs-up to Symonne, Maltran, and Lunarre.

"Perfect," Roman said. "Partners in crime plus the Heldalf Squad. This works."

Maltran turned to Velvet. "Lord of Calamity. I must ask – "

"Go without me," Velvet said. "I get the feeling Roman's planning on doing things that would push even my moral boundaries."

"No offense, sweetheart," Roman replied.

"Besides…I have something here I need to take care of," Velvet said vaguely.

"One more thing," Roman said. "The guy we're looking for is…special. We're going to need to…change him up a bit to get us to serve our purposes. Not personality-wise. THAT already works. But at the size he is now? Ehhhh…we're gonna have to make one pit stop on the way. Trust me, I've got a friend who has this in the bag. Or in the bottle, now that I think about it." He put out his teleporter arm. "All in!"

Neo, Symonne, Maltran, and Lunarre all stacked their hands atop his. Roman set the coordinates of the teleporter, and then all five were gone.

Velvet immediately fixed her gaze upon Yang. "I'm guessing you needed him to leave before you could talk about the real reason he scares you."

"The reason I gave was real," Yang said flatly.

"But not the only reason," Velvet said. "Or even the biggest one."

Yang sighed. "I'm not surprised you figured it out. You know what it's like to not want to…disappoint your little sibling. Actually, you've been the disappointed little sibling."

"I would've been far more understanding of Artorius if his true nature had been the kind of person who would defend the scum of the earth than one who would corrupt innocents on his quest to clean away that scum," Velvet replied. "From what you've told me, Ruby would understand."

"No, she wouldn't," Yang muttered. "She'd be so disappointed in me. How could I do this to her?"

"If you won't believe it from me," Velvet insisted, "then let's hear what she has to say about it."

"NO," Yang snapped.

"Would you rather wonder, then?" Velvet asked. "Would you rather live in fear that she'd find out? Or would you rather be honest to her from the start? What do you think would make you the better sister?"

Yang paused. "Not to lie."

"Then we're going to go tell her the truth," Velvet said. "And if I'm wrong, then I guess you have a choice to make."

"How are we even gonna get to Radiant Garden?" Yang asked. "There's one teleporter here and it just left. Unless you want us to go all the way back to the Van Eltia and launch it."

"But you also have a way to contact Ruby," Velvet reminded her.

Yang sheepishly reached into a pocket, bringing out the GummiPhone. "Yeah."

"We don't go to her," Velvet said. "All we do is call."

Yang simply stared at the phone. "I don't know how I'm gonna be able to just…say it." She then put on a tone of mockery; "Hey, Ruby, just calling because you know that guy who tried to kill us during our first year at Beacon? I'm helping him do evil things!"

"Well, do you need to go through a proxy?" Velvet asked. "If you don't call, I will take the phone from you and make it myself."

"No, I'll call." Yang held the phone protectively. "But you're right. I need to go through someone else first. Somebody who won't judge me quite so hard. Somebody who's close to Ruby, and to the rest of the team too. Somebody who will act as the go-between without sugarcoating anything, and will just…blurt out whatever I'm too scared to say."

Her brows went up. "I know who I have to call."