Blind Mask

(by Nicole Gruebel)

Disclaimer: … see chapter 1

Summary of the past chapters: Erik fled the burning opera after he sent Christine away with Raoul. While he wished he could win her back, Erik has to get used to Noelle. Never before he had to share his living-space with somebody else, but she was injured and blinded by the fire he had caused.

TheGoddessofDeath was a great help as beta-reader again. I really should learn from my mistakes …

Erik'sTrueAngel, Angel of the day and Pisces411 … thank you for your nice reviews! I'm glad that you enjoy this story.

Chapter 5 – Just a little melody

When Erik wasn't keeping an eye on Noelle, he sat at his desk and tried to write a letter to Christine. It was hard to find the right words after all that had been said and done back at the opera house. 'I have to meet her' became a constant thought in his mind. It was driving him mad, especially since he felt that time was running short for him.

Sometimes Erik walked around in his home; the eyes fixed on the paper in his hand and completely lost in his thoughts. It seemed as if something was missing, he hardly ever had been at a loss for words. His notes to the managers of the opera had always been chosen very efficient. Previous messages to Christine had enchanted her nearly as much as his voice.

"Monsieur?" He stopped in his tracks and whirled around towards Noelle. For a few moments he had completely forgotten that she was there. And now the woman was awake and didn't seem to be just talking out of another fever-dream. "Yes, Mademoiselle? Do you need anything?" In one movement he put the letter away and went to check on his patient's condition. It wasn't much better, but it seemed she had gained some strength.

"No …" she answered with a light shake of the head. Then she added: "Why are there no sounds other than those of you and Ayesha?" Noelle couldn't possibly see his astonished look, but she replied as if she did. "I often hear you walking around. Sometimes you seem to be to writing or reading something; at last I hear the rustle of paper. I don't want to appear unthankful, but … I often don't know if I'm awake or asleep … if it's day or night. There's always darkness and silence." The last words were hardly more than a whisper and she began to wrap her arms around herself as if she was cold.

Erik hardly could believe what she was saying, let alone comprehend what she wanted. He felt as if she had been spying on him, but of course this was ridiculous and even he knew that. It was very silent in here … it never had bothered him, though. The pipe-organ in the church above was hardly used, and its sound seemed distant when it reached down here. It was well possible that Noelle had been asleep on those few occasions, after all Erik hardly could tell if she was awake, when she wasn't talking or moving accordingly.

Obviously he had been silent for too long again. "Monsieur Erik? I didn't want to offend you …" She knew that he was still beside her, since the bed hadn't moved after he had come to her. Now she turned away from him.

"What do you want? It is late afternoon now. I already told you that nobody else lives in here." He couldn't completely hide his confusion. Noelle wasn't sure if she should continue, but then she remembered the times when she did call for him and he wasn't there. Of course he had kept his word and always told her when he would leave the house, but she never knew how much time had passed when she dozed off. There wasn't even a clock ticking in this utter silence and it was driving her mad. "Could you perhaps let me sit at the window? I just want to listen to something … the people on the street, birds, anything. And … I wish I could catch some fresh air and feel the wind."

Noelle was aware that she was talking like a little girl and blushed, but she was desperate enough to say her thoughts aloud. Erik stared at her. 'The window?' How could he explain that there was no such thing in his home? The air came though various small channels and the passages and was good enough, but of course nothing compared to a fresh breeze. Since he got out of the refuge at last every few days he hadn't thought about how isolated it must seem to a blind person who had nothing to occupy herself with. Nevertheless this was just the way he lived. "I can't meet this request, Mademoiselle Noelle."

She visibly was disappointed and let out a sad, soft sigh. 'I guess he doesn't want anybody to see that I'm here. I'm so stupid.' Noelle hadn't told him how frightened she really was in this silent darkness, how she wished he would talk to her more often. "Please, forgive me. I won't ask for such a thing again."

Finally Erik stood again. He suddenly felt more uncomfortable next to her than ever. 'I should never have brought her here. I may have the knowledge, but I don't have the experience to take care of somebody.' Later, when he gave Noelle some supper, which she was able to eat alone for the first time, he couldn't help but notice his failure. 'This is no place for someone to heal. And I can't stay at her side like this much longer.' The woman was eating, but she obviously lacked any appetite. Her breathing was shallow and her movements unsure and slow. 'It would be better if I found another shelter for her.'

OOO

Later that night Erik was looking through some of his old music-sheets. He hoped they could rekindle his passion for beautiful songs, which he felt was needed if he wanted to find the right words for Christine's letter. Indeed he came upon some lines and notes that he would love to be carried by her voice, although he wrote them before he even knew her.

Suddenly a choking sound came from the bed. Alarmed he rushed over to Noelle, who seemed to be struggling for air. "What's wrong? Do you need some water?" Erik had no idea what might have caused this, surely none of her obvious injuries should have affected her breathing. A little hesitant and clumsy at first, he took her into his arms. Her still bandaged hands grabbed for him and found some hold on his shirt, which startled him. "Calm down! Try to breathe evenly!" Gently but determined, he tilted her chin upward so that her lungs might have easier access to air. He checked to see if her neck was damaged or swollen, or if he could find anything that might have gotten caught in her throat, but found nothing at all. Just when Erik considered getting up to look for any medicine that might help, Noelle let out a long sigh that nearly sounded like a sob and relaxed against his chest.

Erik couldn't move, but he wished very much to be anywhere else but here and in this situation. While he tried to understand what had happened, he noticed that he still held the woman close enough to him to feel her racing heart slow down. A part of him wanted to end the contact and let her sink back on the bed. However, another part of him remembered the rare occasions when he had held Christine close to him and enjoyed this feeling. So Erik ended up in staying exactly where and how he was, but he nearly held his breath and tensed up as if being in great danger.

Slowly Noelle became aware that she was awake - mostly because there was only darkness and in her dreams she sometimes still saw vivid pictures, usually of the fire and other haunting images of her past. But she realized that she wasn't lying down anymore, too. Her head was leaning against something soft and warm, yet her fingers were closed around some cloth different from the blankets. 'What's that sound?' A steady rhythm was pounding at her ear. "Monsieur Erik?" Noelle asked softly and was a little bit surprised how weak her voice sounded. However she didn't want to disturb him only because she had a nightmare or whatever this strange, suffocating feeling had been. Nevertheless she wondered why she was half sitting and feeling so dizzy.

"I'm here, Mademoiselle Noelle. Are you all right?" Erik had been frightened when she had held on to him like someone who was drowning. She was now equally shocked to hear his voice close to her ear and actually feel the vibration of it. Instantly, she pulled away from him, trying to cover herself with a blanket. Her mind was racing and so her voice was unsteady when she asked: "What happened!"

He was relieved when she finally let go of him, but felt the lack of warmth on his body instantly. It didn't surprise Erik how she reacted; it was the usual behavior of other people towards him. 'She probably thinks I wanted to rape her or something of the sort' he thought bitterly and stopped himself to lay a calming hand on her shoulder. Instead he pulled one of the blankets around her shivering body. "You seemed to have difficulties with breathing, Mademoiselle. I wasn't sure what had caused it, but you seem fine again now."

Noelle heard him walk away. While she calmed down, Ayesha jumped on the bed and curled up comfortable in the woman's lap. She was used to the sudden appearances of the cat by now - she should be used to the same behavior of its master, too, Noelle told herself. In some ways they were very much alike: silent, mysterious and somehow unreachable. Even if Ayesha came to her, she couldn't pet her … although she wouldn't bite or scratch her, the cat obviously didn't want to be touched or even stroked most of the time and would just run away if she tried to uninvited.

"I … I think I had a bad dream. I'm sorry …" She nearly said 'I'm sorry that I worried you', but she thought that was inappropriate. This man had saved her life and was taking care of her, but he didn't worry about her. Even his cat got more affection of this kind from him. She could tell from the way he talked to her.

Soon Erik came back to the bed and looked down at the woman. Noelle was still in a sitting position; obviously her fever had finally gotten better. Ayesha eyed him with a look full of a cat's natural arrogance and settled back to doze off. "You don't need to apologize. It seems you can't go back to sleep though. Would you like something to drink?" Noelle nodded gratefully and accepted the cup he placed in her hands. Erik made a decision.

OOO

"Are you feeling well enough for a little walk?" "A … walk?" She was confused. Since waking up in his presence for the first time, she hardly had been out of bed, and then only to be guided to the bathroom or some steps around to move her tired limbs. "I think it's about time, but only if you're strong enough. We would have some stairs to climb." Of course Noelle couldn't refuse this. After all she had asked for something like that. Every bit of change and distraction was welcome to her. Erik helped her to get out of bed and judged if she really was able to stand on her own legs for some time. When she didn't sway, but only waited patiently for his guidance, he dressed her in one of his warm cloaks. Her old shoes were still around, and although they were not in best shape, it was better than going barefoot.

They didn't speak until Noelle asked where he was leading her. "You asked for some fresh air, didn't you?" Then the corridors ended and the pair had to concentrate on managing the steps. At first Noelle was unsure and slow, but in time she got more used to finding the next step blindly and Erik adapted to her tempo. 'Where are we going? Up to a tower? No house has so many steps!' Just as she thought the ascent would never end, he motioned her to stop and placed her hand on the wall. It felt much like the walls in his home, she noticed: cool and somehow rough stone. Then he left her side and she felt suddenly very vulnerable. "I'll be right back, just stay there." A strange sound, like if something heavy was moved, was followed by a breeze full of new scents. Noelle couldn't really tell what it was, but it was different from the air she tasted in Erik's home. When he took her hand again they soon continued over even floor. Their steps caused a soft echo and this change in sound alone fascinated Noelle so much that she didn't even care when they started to climb another staircase.

By the time Erik made her stop again Noelle had to catch her breath. The first excitement about this walk had let her forget how ill she still was. If they didn't have had to walk slowly she would be quite sick because of the constant right-turn upwards on the spiral staircase. Erik noticed that, too, and wondered if his idea really was a good one. 'Why did I do this? If this little excursion worsens her condition again, I have to look after her even longer' he scolded himself. "We are here", was all he told Noelle before opening the door.

This time her gasp was one of delight and for the first time a smile lit up her face. "We are outside!" she exclaimed and tried to find the boundaries of this new freedom with her outstretched hands. Erik was at her side again and placed her searching fingers on the wooden railing. Noelle took some deep breaths and remained silent for a few minutes. He watched her closely, but it didn't seem as if she felt weak. Her head was tilted a bit and the smile was still gracing her lips. "It is night, right?" she asked whispering. "Yes."

Noelle felt as if she had been reborn. She hadn't known how much she had missed fresh air and a breeze in her hair till now. It was cold, but she was more used to chilly nights than to be kept inside for days, hardly able to get out of bed. However, she had been aware that the missing noises had made her nervous, and so she eagerly took in every bit of sound that would come to her ears now: distant steps and voices, flapping birds, the whistling of the wind around her and in some trees that must have been nearby. "Are there stars? Or is the moon out?" Even her voice sounded somehow different here. "No, it's cloudy, Mademoiselle." "Where are we?" She didn't really care if he told her, or if he told her the truth. But Noelle was afraid he would lead her away too soon, if she didn't fill the time somehow. It already was evident that they had to be on some tower or on a balcony on the roof of a high building. It wasn't important, she couldn't go anywhere without his help anyway.

"Why do you have to ask so many questions?" Erik got a little angry, because he didn't dare to tell her anything. Someday she would be on her own again and might tell somebody where to find him. "I won't ask again, Monsieur. I'm very happy that you brought me out here." She bowed her head thankfully in his direction. Erik looked around from the church-tower. Fortunately it really was a rather dark night so that nobody would spot the two figures beneath the old bell. The view was quite nice, since they were high above of a large part of the district. The roofs were quite shabby like most of this area of Paris, but it wasn't too evident in this moonless night. When he had lived here the first time, he rarely had come up here and never during the day. Nevertheless, this seemed to be exactly what Noelle had needed so badly.

After a while Erik told her: "We should leave now. You had a hard night and still need your rest." If this had been the roof of the opera house he would have stayed longer. There had been enough secret passages that helped him to hide, but here he had to go through the main-room of the church and that made him uneasy. After a second, Noelle turned and felt her way along the railing to the door. The cool air had lit up her spirits, but she knew they would have to go all those endless staircases back down. "Thank you very much, Monsieur Erik …" Just when he was about to take her arm she spun around and 'stared' at him - he froze and waited for the horrified scream that surely would come.

"What's that? It sounds like music ..." Of course Noelle wasn't looking at him, she probably didn't even know that he was so close to her right now. When Erik released his breath he heard the sound, too. Somewhere, perhaps in one of the houses next to the church, a violin was playing a tune. It had been one of the first instruments he had mastered and even from this distance he noticed the flaws. "I hardly would call that music. Somebody is torturing the violin with his incompetence and raping the melody." Even if he hadn't felt the urge to create or play music himself since Christine had left him, he still had the love for it in him.

Noelle was quite surprised by this statement. She had noticed that her benefactor had a very pleasant voice when she first had heard it. There even was some kind of melodic rhythm in it when he spoke, but she never had considered that Erik actually was an expert in music. On the other hand, she certainly wasn't one, so how could she tell the difference? "It sounds nice. I haven't heard much music, besides from some fiddlers on the street. Couldn't we stay and listen a while longer, Monsieur Erik?"

With a sour look on his face he crossed the arms in front of his chest. After the violinist had tormented him a few more times, Erik had to show his opinion in a way that Noelle would notice: he made sound that was a mixture of snorting and growling. "I can't stand this amateur any longer. I'm leaving." And he did.

Although she heard how the wooden door was opened and that Erik descended the stairs she couldn't believe it at first. 'He really left me here alone. Was it only because he didn't like this music?' Noelle wasn't sure if she should stay. She could listen to the melody and the sounds of the nightly town ... and perhaps he would return. But he had acted strangely, and so he might really not come back. No matter how hard she listened she couldn't hear his footsteps anymore, only the violin ... and even she noticed now that the melody wasn't played properly. With a mixture of anger and fear she reached out and felt for the doorway.

It was the first time that she had to get along without his help since she got blinded, but since Noelle knew the stairs would start immediately behind the door she was careful. Slowly and very concentrated she let her foot find the rim of the step before placing it on the next one. There was no railing, so she held her balance by placing her hands on the walls. They had a different, smoother texture than the ones in Erik's home. It was narrow enough here that she could easily reach them to both sides of her. She had no idea how many steps there had been, so Noelle stumbled a little bit when she finally reached the bottom. The sweat on her forehead wasn't from the fever this time.

"So, you already have had enough of the squeaking?" Erik's voice startled her and he noticed that, although she tried to hide her surprise. She hadn't been sure if he would wait for her. "Yes. And it was getting cold." He grinned, but his voice didn't give away that he hadn't expected her to come down alone. "Why didn't you call? I would have helped you." He eyed her curiously, his back leaning on the wall next to the entry to the tower. Noelle hardly could believe that it seemed as if he was scolding her for being careless. "I didn't want to trouble you, Monsieur. After all there hardly was a chance that I would knock over something on that staircase." She remembered all to well what chaos she had caused in the first hours at his home and was a quite embarrassed by it. But she was stubborn enough that she didn't want to rely on somebody else if it wasn't necessary.

Erik actually was somewhat impressed that Noelle wasn't complaining. After all he had left her alone up there, but she even tried to imply that she didn't need his help. Of course both knew it wasn't so, after all she had no clue how to find back to his home from here.

On their way back, Erik was acting as the guide again, he started unconsciously to hum the melody they had listened to. Noelle smiled at it, because she could hear the difference immediately and the sound was somehow soothing. He didn't notice it. In fact he was at first a bit confused when she said: "You were right. The violin didn't play it very well. Are you a musician, Monsieur Erik?" Only then he realized that the melody had haunted him. "I am many things, Mademoiselle Noelle. But yes, I have some knowledge about music, too."

The woman fell asleep as soon as she was beneath the warm blankets again. No bad dreams attacked her this time. However, Noelle wasn't sure if she was awake when she heard a violin play the melody some time later. It wasn't distant, but sounded clear and vivid as if the source was in the same room. Furthermore it was far better than the first time and she let herself be carried away on the waves of the music.

OOO

It was about dawn when Erik finally was satisfied with his letter to Christine and sealed it with red wax. He remembered the time when he used a skull to form his seal, but even if he hadn't left it in his old lair he wouldn't have used it anymore. The opera was gone and so was its phantom. Instead he found the form of a rose, which seemed far more appropriate for a letter to his beloved. He didn't want to threaten her; she would come to him out of her own free will.

With a loving touch, he caressed the elegant form of his violin, apologizing for not using it so long. Erik didn't bother to tell Noelle he would be going out this time. She seemed to sleep and after the rather tiring night she should remain so for a while. So he just covered himself with his wide hooded cape and left. It was risky to leave his refuge now, but the streets would be still empty enough. Erik just couldn't wait any longer to deliver his letter to Christine.

To be continued …