Keep Holding On
Everyone's gathered in the living room while Luz tells them the truth. She expects them to be furious with her, but instead she's met with support and understanding. Relief comes over her when she realizes she truly is loved and doesn't have to hide anymore.
"Thank you all so much for understanding. I was afraid you'd all hate me, but now I know that's not true. I've been struggling lately, but you've all made me hopeful again." Luz said.
As she says this, Luz realizes her journey towards healing isn't over. She's still got a lot of work to do, but she'll stay strong knowing her friends and family are here to support her.
Camila smiles, she can tell Luz is doing her best and she's proud.
Amity sits next to Luz and takes her hand.
"We could never hate you, Luz. Sure you've made some mistakes, but that's part of life. Learning and growing from those experiences is key. I see you trying, and that's enough for me." Amity said.
"Belos manipulates people, but you survived. We all did, so now's the time to fight back." Hunter said.
"I agree. Let's fight for a better future." Willow said.
"For the future!" Gus said.
Vee joins in, sitting by Luz. She's a bit anxious at first, but gathers the courage to share her own perspective.
"Luz, I just want to say I'm sorry you have to go through this and I'm here if you need anything. Honestly, I understand what it's like to feel this need to escape, but it doesn't help in the long run. Running away from your feelings, from the people who love you, will only leave you feeling empty and alone. It's not worth it. You've shown me that love and support makes me stronger and that's inspiring. You help people more than you know." Vee said.
Luz starts to tear up, looking around at all of the love and support she has, she knows she can make it through this.
"Wow. Again, thank you all so much. This support means more than you know." Luz said.
Everyone joins in a group hug. Luz cries but this time the tears are a mix of sadness and joy. It's a strange but welcome cathartic feeling, so she holds onto this moment. Keeping this memory close so she can use it to move forward if she falls back.
Camila smiles. She's so proud of Luz. Seeing all the love and support she has and how much she's grown is incredible. She's found a sense of belonging and it's beautiful.
Amity can tell Luz is feeling better and wants to take this opportunity to talk.
Once everyone leaves, Amity stays behind.
Luz gets ready to leave, but before she does, Amity takes her hand.
"Luz, can we talk?" Amity asked.
Luz sits back down. She can tell Amity is serious and knew this was coming. She needs to talk with her about covering up her self destructive behaviors, and this time she's ready.
"Of course we can talk." Luz replied.
"Okay, I just want to say I'm proud of you for being honest and opening up about your struggles. That's so brave and I know it wasn't easy. I just need to know, why do you keep running away and hiding? I know you're doing better now, but that could change and I'm scared I'll lose you again. I just want to understand…" Amity said.
Luz freezes up. She's always been afraid of confrontation and gets so sad when the people she loves worry about her, but she knows this is something she needs to face.
"Okay. I'm sorry, I know I keep avoiding things and pretending everything's okay when it's not. I wish I could explain why, but I don't fully understand it myself. Maybe it's because I was bullied. I guess I'm so used to rejection and people leaving me that running away is some kind of ingrained defense mechanism or something. Or it could be because I lost my Dad when I was young and I've got some trauma to work out. I don't know…I hope I'm making sense." Luz replied.
Luz starts to tear up and Amity listens. She's sad, but relieved Luz is at least talking about it and trying to understand herself better.
"No, that makes sense. Thank you for being honest. And it's okay if you don't have it all figured out. That's why it's important to reach out when you need help." Amity replied.
Luz starts to feel restless. She wants to escape the uncomfortable emotions coming up, but she knows she needs to sit with them.
Amity can tell Luz is getting anxious.
"Hey, it's okay. I'm here." Amity said.
Luz starts to feel better. Just knowing Amity's always here for her is enough, but her guilt is still there. It's just coming from another source, so she decides to come clean.
"Amity, am I hurting you?" Luz asked.
Amity's shocked and sad, wondering why Luz would think this.
"No, of course not." Amity replied.
"It's just, everyone is always worried about me lately. Sometimes I feel like you all would be better off without me…I know that's dark, but it's just how I've been feeling lately. I'm sorry…" Luz said.
Amity sits there thinking of how to respond. She can tell Luz still has some healing to do and hopes she can provide some perspective from her own experiences.
"I've felt that way. Back when I was living with my Mom, she controlled every aspect of my life. It got to the point where I didn't even know who I was or what I wanted from life. I used to think closing myself off from connecting people who genuinely care about me was the answer and I wanted to escape reality too. You're not alone and you've got so many people looking out for you, hold onto that." Amity replied.
Luz had no idea Amity had similar dark thoughts and emotions. This makes her feel even more connected to her. Although she's sad, it's comforting to know they understand each other on a deeper level.
"I'm so sorry, Amity. I know how it feels to feel worthless. It's horrible, but I want you to know you mean the world to me. I love you so much and I'm here for you if you ever want to talk about it." Luz said.
Amity smiles thinking, there's her girlfriend's caring personality shining though. She missed that and she's glad Luz is slowly starting to find herself again.
"That's it, right there. That's the support you need to give yourself. I know it's hard when your thoughts are keeping you trapped and feeling alone, but it's not true. It might take time, but one day you'll learn to give yourself the love you deserve." Amity replied.
Luz smiles, wiping away her tears.
"Thanks, Amity. I really needed to hear that. I'm nervous and I don't know what the future holds, but I'm glad you're here with me. And I'm going to work on being kinder to myself. I think that's a step in the right direction." Luz said.
"I know it is. And don't worry too much about the future. Right now, let's just take things one day at a time. We'll figure this out, together." Amity replied.
Luz smiles, knowing Amity's right and takes her hand.
"Together." Luz said.
Before heading into the kitchen for dinner, Luz looks out the window and watches as the rain begins falling. There's another storm. She's always loved the rain, it brings her a sense of peace and calm and that's exactly what she needs in this moment.
Luz knows her journey towards healing won't be easy, but she's learned to accept help from the people who love her and that's enough to keep her strong.
Luz takes a deep breath and smiles.
"This is only the beginning. I'll make it through, just keep holding on." Luz said.
The End