Author's Note: Haha, Call Me Blue Streak, you're one smart cookie. XD I just got back from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...AMAZINGNESS. GO SEE IT. NOW. "You're reallyweird!" -giggle-
Special Thanks To: Crow T R0bot, total misanthrope, Amelia, Call Me Blue Streak, rip t ee,and blinky69. You guys make me laugh. :D
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, blahblahblah, thank Trey and Matt, etc. etc.
"What the hell?"
Stan's exclamation caused Kenny to flinch and groan. "I just got in a little trouble guys, it's okay. I'm fine now. Seriously."
"Dude, what the hell happened?" Kyle inquired, helping Stan usher him to the living room couch.
"Careful, Marsh," Cartman spoke up, "Don't wanna get white-trash blood on your couch. You never know if his disease will spread."
"Fuck you Cartman," Kyle and Stan chimed in unison. Stan sighed and gently sat Kenny on the couch, leaving to retrieve a warm washcloth. Kenny mimicked his sigh, obviously not wanting to be the cause for concern. He pressed the washcloth Stan had given him against his badly bruised and puffy eye, and then to his bleeding lips. He flinched at every minute touch, but still managed to force a weary smile at the boys.
"Kenny, what the hell happened to you?" Stan asked again, this time more firm and serious. He wasn't going to take any more of Kenny's half-assed answers. Kenny was badly banged up, and he was going to do something about it.
"Well," Kenny stammered, heaving a sigh once more. "I got in a fight. W-with...Craig." He looked up at Stan with the eye that currently wasn't residing behind the washcloth. Stan gave him a look that was unreadable even to Kenny, the master of body-language. Kyle arched a brow.
"Craig?"
Kenny nodded. "Yeah, Craig."
"But why? Craig's a pussy. Why would he beat anyone up?" Kenny suddenly grew a large insterest in the carpet, and began to trace the designs on it with his mind as he decided on what he should tell the others.
"I don't want anybody else, when I think about you I touch myself."
The song had always been a giggle-starter for the young man in the orange parka. He sang it to himself as he left the girl's house; this one was somewhat of a bore for him. Perhaps he had been with so many girls and seen so many...things...that it took something extraordinary to excite him more than he usually would be. He had finished up with her sooner than he had planned, so he thought he'd stop by the Marsh residence a little early. He'd have to cross by Stark's Pond, which had become the town's make-out spot for the teenagers. They'd get the occasional horny parents and the frequent Mrs. Cartman, but in all the spot belonged to the teens. However, Stark's Pond became Kenny's refuge when it was unoccupied (which was so late at night that the sun would have already started to rise). He'd come over whenever his parents were fighting with each other or whenever he needed to think about what he had become.
The pond seemed deserted, which wasn't a surprise since it was only five-fifteen. He stopped briefly at the edge of the pond, gazing at the murky gray water. At times the bleak color of the water reflected his mood; hyper, perverted Kenny wasn't as happy as most would think. How fulfilling of a life would you have if you were so poor your house had more holes than a cheese grater and all you did to occupy your time was to have sex? The wind lashed at his face and he threw his hood over his head, something he did when he started to grow uncomfortable.
Suddenly the sound of heavy breathing and the soft smacks and slurps of kissing reached his ears. He turned around to see a couple propped up behind a tree, making out quite feverishly. He smirked, and removed his hood. The thought of finding a good spot to watch the horomone-raging couple was enough to pull him out of his shell. Quietly he tip-toed to a nearby tree, using all of his strength to pull him up onto a low-hanging branch. If it weren't for his gloves, the rouch bark would have scratched his hands.Kenny positioned himself so that he could see the couple without being noticed, and so that he was comfortable. He soon came to realize that the couple was non-other than Craig and Wendy. His blue eyes widened with the initial shock of who the couple actually was, and his thoughts switched over to Stan. He knew Stan was better for Wendy than Craig, but little Miss Fucks-a-lot didn't exactly have her priorities straight. But then again, neither did Kenny.
This was just too much for Kenny. He hopped from the tree branch, stumbling as he made the awkward landing. He stood up slowly to see if they had noticed, but they were too absorbed in theirSuckfest to hear anything. He grinned toothily, and slowly made his way over to them.
He had to admit, what he was witnessing was extremely hot, but the troublemaker in him was willing to give up watching it. He leaned against the opposite side of the tree, hands in his pockets. Craig grunted (either with pleasure or dissappointment; but Kenny assumed the former. Afterall, Wendy has been around and had her share of practice. Kenny mustered a laugh and slowly stepped from behind the tree.
"Giving the squirrels and birds a little show, are we?"
They broke away, glancing up at Kenny with wide, 'oh-no-we-got-caught' eyes. Their expressions quickly changed to glares as Kenny finally let out the laugh he was holding in. "Oh, man, Wendy...So Craig is your flavor of the week? What's he taste like? Pussy?"
Wendy's cheeks flushed furiously, as did Craig's. "Screw off, Kenny!" She snapped.
"And why on Earth would I do that? I'm having too much fun watching you. You two are seriously hot. Cambell's 'Mm mm good' hot. But y'know, it'd be a little hotter if I could squeeze in between you two."
"Go away," Craig said firmly, fists forming by his sides.
"Or what?"
"Or...or I'll..." He growled with frustration and displayed to Kenny his favorite finger.
"Oo, double from me, buddy," Kenny responded without a beat, holding up two middle fingers. "You know Wendy, why don't you try dating a real man? One who can show you a good time and isn't such a god-damn fucking pussy? Why not someone like Stan?" The questions were so weird that all Wendy could do was stare at Kenny with a blank expression on her face.
"Alright," Craig said angrily, getting to his feet, "You're really starting to piss me off, asshole."
"And your girlfriend's really starting to turn me on," he moaned, rubbing his hands on his own chest, making obscene facial expressions. Wendy gasped with anger.
"You dick!" She squealed.
"I'm warning you," Craig stated, anger and adreniline hanging clearly in his voice.
Kenny snorted with laughter. "You gonna hit me, Craigy-Waigy? You can't fight. Remember in the third grade and we tried to make you fight Tweek? You're a fucking pansy, dude." Unknown to Kenny, when Craig had gotten older he began to work out; and now that Kenny came and interrupted them and his stiffy, Craig was ready to use his new-found muscles on him.
"That's it," he growled, charging at Kenny.
"Oh, shit."
Kenny went down like a bag of bricks. The wind was kocked out of him, and it was difficult for him to regain it as Craig continually punched him. Finally, he was able to shove Craig off and fumble to his feet. He glanced over at Wendy, whose eyes were wide with horror, and tried to wink (even though his eye had already started to swell shut). "This is for you, toots," he croaked, sending a feeble punch towards Craig. He ducked and Kenny's hand drove into a tree. "Oh, motherf-"
His words were cut off as Craig drove his fist into Kenny's stomach. Kenny keeled over, falling to his knees. He was aware of the warm sensation of blood trickling down his face, but he couldn't pinpoint which wound it was coming from. Craig kicked him in the ribs, causing him to fall over. Kenny cried out as Craig continued to kick him. He regretted the decision to act like a smart ass towards them.
"Craig," Wendy spoke softly, "That's enough. Besides, everyone will be here soon."
Craig looked at her, nodded, and wiped drool from his mouth. He was panting heavily, and was amazed at the adrenaline rush he received from beating the crap out of Kenny. He took Wendy by the hand and helped her to her feet, and they walked off to wait for the others.
Kenny laid there for a few moments more before dragging himself to his feet and stumbling all the way to Stan's house.
Of course that isn't what Kenny told them; he simply said he saw Craig and Wendy making out, made a few comments that he would normally make, and happened to catch Craig on a bad day. Kyle scowled and had fists hanging at each side, and Stan simply stared at the carpet. He was wondering what comments Kenny made, exactly. Cartman, however, was not so sullen and angry. He had broken into fits of hysterical laughter.
"Jesus Christ," he said through laughs, wiping his eyes of stray tears. "That has to be the greatest thing ever. Kenny got his ass kicked by Craig. What kinda douchebag are you, Kenny?"
"Shut up, dude, he's gotten really strong," Kenny whined defensively.
Cartman continued on. "Looks like you won't be whoring anytime soon. Craig permantly damaged your face."
Kenny offered a sly smile. "That's where you're wrong. He didn't damage the package." He laughed as he grabbed his own crotch.
"I'm gonna kick his ass," Stan said suddenly, looking up as if an amazing revelation hit him. Anger and strength was obvious in those blue eyes of his as he rushed for the door, the others right on his tail. Kenny managed to stagger along, close behind.
A huge gathering of teenagers had formed at Stark's Pond; an obvious arangement earlier in the school day. Some carried cans of beer, some made out, and some simply talked. Craig broke off from the large group's laughter at the sound of running feet. He looked up, and in the split second before he hit the ground, he gazed into the rage-filled eyes of Stan Marsh. "What the fuck?" he cried as they went rolling. Gasps arose from the crowd as they tumbled and came to a stop, Stan on top and delivering punches.
"Stop it!" Wendy shrieked, breaking from the crowd. Craig rolled over and pinned Stan, punching him in the same eye as Kenny.
Kenny had finally arrived, peering through the people. Pulling up his hood, he smiled weakly and mentally cheered on his comrade.
"C'mon, Stan!" Cartman shouted, "Kick his yellow Asian ass!"
Wendy continued to shout at them, pleading them to stop.
Stan pushed Craig off with ease and got to his feet. Craig did the same and charged at Stan, but he was able to move away in time. Craig turned around and tried again, but simply ran into Stan's fist. "Ow, god dammit!" He yowled, clutching his nose. Kyle had joined in on Wendy's pleas, and continued to yell 'stop.'
Just as Stan was about to charge at Craig again, he felt two pairs of hands restraining him. He looked over his shoulder to see Kyle and Butters. "Let me go!" He cried. "Let me go! He hurt Kenny!"
"Well, gee, Stan. I don't think it's such a good idea to let you go," Butters stammered, "Why, y-you could get hurt or something."
Craig grinned underneath his hands and was about to take advantage of Stan's current situation when Clyde and Token took him in their hold. "Jesus Christ, guys, let me go!"
They both fell into silence as Wendy stepped in between them, her face twisted with anger and stained with tears. "Just STOP IT!" Her exclamation echoed through the forest and pierced the ears of the bystanders. "You guys are acting like dicks! Why the fuck do you have to pummel the shit out of each other?" Her anger was rising, and it was showing through her language. "Why don't you all just grow the fuck up and act mature already?" She glared at Craig, "Instead of acting like a controlling asshole and flicking everyone off all the time, why don't yoube a man and talk?" Craig blinked, obviously not expecting a blow towards him.
"And you," she snarled, turning towards Stan, "I wouldn't expect someone like you to stoop this low!" He hung his head in shame as she stormed out of sight. He was well-aware of the many pairs of eyes focused on him and his new black eye.
Author's Note: Not a great ending or chapter, I know, but I'm brain dead. Seems like Call Me Blue Streak was right. XD Kudos.