Blind Mask

(by Nicole Gruebel)

Disclaimer: ... see chapter 1

Summary of the past chapters: Erik finally found a chance to get near Christine again. He had not seen her since the fire at the opera house, but now he had left her a message. Meanwhile Noelle found herself seemingly alone in the home of her strange savior. Although her blindness was frightening her, she tried to not give up and explored her surroundings.

Sorry for the long wait … TheGoddessofDeath told me there are no big mistakes in this one, so I'll just share it with you. Perhaps my writing is finally getting a bit better? You have to tell me ;)

the.ingenue, Erik'sTrueAngel, Mariah, LoneWolf2005 and SnowGirl7 … thank you very much for your reviews. I'm happy that you like my story and Noelle. I hope you enjoy this chapter, too.

Sbkar, it's great that you joined „Blind Mask" and even gave me some hints for improvement of the previous chapters. I liked that you shared your thoughts about the story.

Chapter 7 – On their own (Part II)

The big shelf full with strange things became uninteresting after a while. It was not only because Noelle couldn't see and so in most cases wasn't able to identify the objects, but because she grew hungry, too. It was the fierce appetite that a sick person suffers whose condition is finally getting better.

"Where is that kitchen? It has to be near ... I always could hear and smell it when he was preparing something." Noelle didn't care any longer if Erik was watching her. If he was amusing himself with her blind exploration of his home, she couldn't disgrace herself any more by muttering to herself.

With one hand still on the shelf, the woman reached out with the other one to learn more about her surroundings. There seemed to be a gap in the wall, but she couldn't think of where it might lead. It was neither covered by a curtain like the bathroom, nor was there a door. However, Noelle could find the next wall, so she decided to pass this opening for now, and walked forwards carefully.

At first she was a bit confused, because in this part of the room - if she hadn't accidentally went through an open door into another one by now - was nothing but strange things that hanged from the ceiling. They were nearly out of her reach, so she couldn't even guess what they were, although it didn't feel like cobwebs or curtains. Then she stumbled over some unknown objects on the floor – most of them gave way at her bare feet - till her hands finally found a table. It was covered with so much stuff that seemed useless to her at the moment, so Noelle didn't even try to examine it. She was now nearly frustrated enough to shove all those things down with an angry cry.

'This is ridiculous. I'll never be able to get along on my own.' Tears of despair were about to spill again, but a dull noise let Noelle's heart nearly stop and she held her breath. It had sounded as if something not too big but heavy had fallen over. Or like a soft knock. As far as she knew, it could have been a closing door or a step from someone in the room or a number of other things her suddenly frightened mind couldn't even picture.

OOO

As soon as Erik was back in the attic he sat down in a corner and tried to calm down. He was more in the mood of walking around like a caged tiger, but he was afraid this would draw attention on him and his hiding place. Nevertheless that was exactly how he felt like: being trapped. Even if it still was raining, the day was too bright by now and he didn't dare to leave the building anymore.

The eyes of the man were used to dark surroundings, and so he soon discovered something interesting to distract him from his current situation. There seemed to be openings in the floor that were covered with bars, probably to provide ventilation in the rooms beneath. Ever curious, Erik slowly crept to a certain one of those openings and glanced through it. As he had hoped he saw Christine's bedroom. Furthermore, the object which had caused him pain not long ago was helping him now. The mirror was in the narrow corridor of his view, and so it acted as a window into the room for him.

Just when the sounds of daily life outside got louder, Madame Giry came to wake Meg and Christine. Erik was reminded of the many times he had spied on his angel and other persons in the opera house. Hardly ever he had stayed to watch the reactions to his notes or deeds; usually he was sure enough that they would have the intended effect. Curious and nervous he waited now that this letter would be found.

"Christine, my dear, you have to get up. You'll get ill if you stay inside all the time." Madame Giry sounded worried. There was no answer. "Christine?" That was Meg's voice and she seemed to share her mother's concern. Erik tried to get a better look, but his possibilities were limited and didn't include the bed.

"I won't let this happen, not as long as you are under my care." The authority of the ballet-mistress even impressed the former Opera Ghost, and obviously not only him. "I'm sorry. It's just ... since that night ... I'm so confused and everything seems so unreal to me." Now Meg came into view, dressed in a light-blue dressing gown. She opened the curtains and let some more light in. Suddenly she gasped. "What's that!" The girl had discovered Erik's letter and her trembling hand stopped before touching the rose.

"No! It can't be! Can it? Madame Giry!" Christine sounded frightened and happy at the same time, hysterical would say some people. "Be careful, my dear." The older woman in the black dress went over to the mirror. She looked at it with her head in an odd angle, because that way she sometimes had been able to discover the hidden doors of the Phantom. But of course this was ridiculous in this building. Still, her eyes scanned the room to find any sign of him, and so the remains of the wet traces he had left didn't escape her.

In the meantime Christine had gotten out of bed and approached the dressing table, slowly as if it was a menacing beast. Erik wanted to reach out to her. You still could see a dancer's grace in her, but she moved like someone in a trance. Madame Giry didn't say a word about her discovery and that she was fairly sure how this letter had gotten in here. Instead she handed it and the rose to the girl who was like a daughter to her.

The hidden man let out a soft moan when Christine caressed the blood-red flower with a tenderness that wouldn't even stir a feather. She had touched him like this once, and he could still feel it. Luckily none of the women he was watching seemed to notice the sound from above.

The rose was real, and so was the letter. The rich, sweet smell of this meaningful gift made Christine dizzy, but this could have been caused by her excitement, too. It was difficult to open the sealed envelope with her trembling fingers. But neither Madame Giry nor Meg moved to help her or asked her to sit down. The elder one was sure that Christine wouldn't listen to her anyway now, and the other was still too shocked that there obviously had been a secret visitor this night.

After reading the words - written in with all too familiar, gracefully curved letters - over and over Christine sank to the ground, heavy sobs rocking her body. She clutched the paper close to her heart with both hands; the rose had fallen down next to her. In a second Meg was beside her and tried to soothe her.

"Christine, what does the letter say?" Madame Giry usually never would ask for the content of a personal message, but the words of the Phantom often affected more than the addressee. "He's alive! Thank god! But ... oh, I'm so afraid what might happen now!" With that desperate cry she pressed the note into the hand of Madame Giry and succumbed herself to the embrace of her closest friend.

Erik didn't care if he might be discovered in that moment, but hurried away from the opening. He had to suppress his own sobs and his feelings were as mixed as those of the woman he loved with all his heart.

OOO

Noelle's headache got worse while she listened for any sound. There had been none since that dull noise. On the other hand her heart seemed to pound so loud that she wasn't sure if she would hear anything less than thunder anyway. Suddenly a crystal clear "meow" in front of her feet made her jump in surprise and she cried out.

"You damn cat! Why do you have to sneak up on me like that! You're worse than Erik!" Noelle was panting, because she had held her breath and had now released it into this angry grumbling. She felt scared enough to say more, but she was afraid that the man might have come back together with the cat. "Ehm, ... I'm sorry. I didn't want to insult you." No sound and no reaction, Noelle grew weary of it. "Monsieur Erik?"

Slowly she went down on her knees and tried to find the pet with her hands. "Ayesha, is your master with you? You know, he could give both of us some food." The answer was an eager meow right into the woman's face. It was followed by the feeling that the cat circled around her. Occasionally she rubbed her head on Noelle's legs or hands.

Ayesha had heard the magical word that promised something nice to eat. This would suit her well, since she had not found much in the tunnels today, and it was far too wet for her taste outside to go there. Surely this woman would give her some food, just like the man did when she urged him to. At first the cat had been a bit annoyed that Erik shared their home again with another human, but somehow this one seemed less troublesome like the first.

"What is it? Usually you aren't so affectionate." Any companion and distraction was welcome to Noelle, and if Erik's moody pet suddenly decided to be friendlier she welcomed it. But the cat wouldn't stand still to be stroked, she just kept meowing. "You want something, don't you? I'm afraid I can't help you. Are you hungry? I'm hungry, too. But unless you show me where to find something to eat or drink, we will have to wait for your master."

There was another sound-pattern that Ayesha understood. Yes, of course she was hungry. What was wrong with this woman? Nearly every human would already have given her something to eat by now. The rest would have chased the cat away long ago, but Ayesha was well aware that this woman liked her. Well, some humans were rather stupid; perhaps this one really didn't know what exactly she wanted. The cat was determined to show Noelle what she expected from her.

Suddenly Ayesha was gone, but she made some noises and kept meowing while she jumped up somewhere. It was probably some kind of wooden cupboard, because there the cat began to scratch on something. Noelle followed her ears and found the pet again at last. She had to use mainly her nose to find out what was stored inside the cupboard.

"Hey, those are my fingers! Be careful!" Ayesha had lost her patience and fetched herself the first thing that was obviously to her liking. Noelle just had time enough to catch the smell of sausage, before she lost the grip on the small package - the cat had surprised her with sharp claws. Nevertheless the hungry woman didn't give up her exploration of this storage till she found some bread and another package with sausage. In one box she discovered something that stank so repulsive that she wasn't sure if it was something ruined or a cheese. She decided not to temper her luck.

OOO

Erik spent some of the most horrible hours of his life in the attic. His mind wouldn't stop to ponder about Christine's reaction to the letter, yet he didn't dare to go spying on her again. At some point he realized how miserable he felt and grabbed his discarded cape to wrap himself in it. The cloth was still damp as the rest of his garments, but he knew that his shivering didn't come alone from being cold.

Without being occupied with anything but staring into the dark room and with only his even darker thought as companion, Erik felt the weight of the last days on him again. He had lost track of time as well as he couldn't tell how often his emotions had gone through unimaginable ups and downs. Never before had he felt so intense hatred, satisfaction, betrayal, fear and love in such a short time before. Especially the last emotion tore at his heart since he had met Christine for the first time.

Erik had to admit that this whole situation and the last few tiring days had been too much for him to bear without the soothing effect of morphine. He had grown used to have it at hand in times like these. Now he was trapped, Christine was so near but yet too far away to reach and he felt exhausted and beaten up. The lack of his favorite sedative wouldn't let him sleep, but made him suffer the pain in his heart, mind and his whole body even more. On the other hand Erik knew that it would be far too dangerous to succumb to the deep slumber of the drug now, since he might not notice soon enough when somebody entered the room.

From time to time he heard voices from the apartment, but he didn't want more pain right at the moment, so he didn't listen close enough to make out words. Later it seemed as if the three women left, or at last it was silent beneath him for a long time. Unfortunately this gave him an even better opportunity to feel his growing hunger in addition to his general withdrawal symptoms.

"Oh no, what have I done?" Erik's voice was rough when he moaned those words. Until now he had not spent a single thought on Noelle. 'What will happen if she wakes up? I hope she'll be alright on her own till I can come back.' He paused a moment, then he ran a slightly shaking hand through his hair. 'No, of course she won't be alright. She's blind and doesn't know how to get around on her own. I'm sure she'll make something stupid again. And I was a fool to leave that girl alone like this. She still depends on me.' A little part of him cursed Christine and that she had again managed to let him act without thinking.

When Erik couldn't bear any longer to sit still, he began to walk around. Occasionally he stopped at a window and looked at the sky. There were still grey clouds dimming the sun, but it was brighter than the man had gotten used to in the last years.

It didn't take long to find out that there was nothing interesting stored in this attic. The lack of morphine, food and sleep and the knowledge of being trapped here by the daylight made him feel wretched. So Erik tried to distract himself by planning his further moves on Christine. But this always brought back her shocked and somehow painful reaction to his letter, which made his heart go tense. That was why he finally set his thoughts on his other problem: Noelle.

'She's a strange woman. I usually had to put Christine under the spell of my voice to trust me like this, even before she saw my face. But Noelle is rather strong willed, too, at the same moment. She might get along even if she stays blind, but I will find a place for her where she is looked after. And that happens better sooner than later." He stopped walking and looked at his temporary prison. 'It's obvious that I can't take care of anybody, especially not as long I have to sort things out with Christine. Even if Noelle seems to be tougher than her, she most likely will be half crazy when I come back. I only hope that she doesn't try to take off any of the bandages. Another infection is the last thing we need now.'

Erik was so caught up in his thoughts that he heard the approaching footsteps only seconds before the door to the loft was opened. The cape flapped behind him when he hurried to hide behind some wooden boxes, which were nearly piled up to the ceiling. Instinctively Erik covered his disfigured cheek with one hand. A chambermaid came in and began to whistle a happy tune. She was sturdy and carried a big basket full of laundry. Unaware of the man who was glaring at her dangerously - a deadly Punjab lasso ready in his hand - she began to fill the washing line in the back of the room.

When she was done she sat down on a rolled up carpet and rummaged for something in the pockets of her apron. "Ah, there it is. I was afraid that I had lost it." The woman had produced a roll and a croissant. The food looked as if it originally had belonged to one of the rich apartment-owners breakfast-trays. She took some happy bites and obviously enjoyed the taste of it. Erik eyed this with some longing, but was somehow amused, too.

Suddenly the woman stood up and went towards the corner where Erik was hiding. He was a bit startled by this, because he had been absolutely silent and immobile. 'Go away!' he thought and melted deeper into the shadows. He wouldn't risk being discovered now. He wouldn't give her the chance to scream at his sight so that the whole house would be alarmed.

For a few seconds the man didn't feel anything but cold determination to protect his secret by all means. The world had hurt him enough when he had been too helpless or scared to fight back or protect himself. He had learned to be ruthless because of that. It had cost human lives; the one of Joseph Buquet had been only one of the last. He even had destroyed his beloved opera house in the cold-bloodedness that had become so naturally to him.

'No!' Erik nearly screamed the word as the memory of Noelle came back to him and why he had taken her in. 'I have to end this killing. Christine was right ... my face is just a mirror to my twisted inside.' For that moment he didn't think of the fact that he had been born with the disfigurement, but tried to suppress the urge to harm the chambermaid who was threatening near now.

With relief he noticed that she wasn't approaching him directly, but the window near him. She also kept her back to him, while she climbed on top of a little box, so that she could lean out better of the now opened window. The fresh, chill air which came in cooled the sweat on Erik's forehead.

As much as he didn't dare to move and hardly breathed he didn't know what she was up to. Not until he heard cooing noises and the sound of bird-wings. The window was small and her body nearly hid all of it from his view, but it was obvious that she was feeding some doves.

Fortunately the birds were fast with their meal. The woman never knew how close she was to death in those moments. Erik had to remind himself constantly to not move, or his instincts would have gotten the better of him. After the woman finally had left the attic he just sat down in the very same corner and tried to breathe normally again. The hand which he had used as mask felt numb and the arm hurt from being held unsmilingly in that position for too long. His senses stayed alert from then on and he loosened the grip on the Punjab lasso only when he was sure that his hand wouldn't shake anymore. It was far more difficult to hold back than to kill.

OOO

The bits of food had barely satisfied Noelle's hunger, not after she had gotten used to the regular meals that Erik had provided her in the last days. 'I have gotten spoiled' she thought with a small and somehow bitter laugh. Ayesha on the other hand seemed to be content with her share and didn't ask for more. Indeed the cat hadn't made any noise since she had obviously licked her paws. That left the woman alone in the silence and an unfamiliar room again. Furthermore Noelle had to admit that she had lost her orientation. She wasn't sure in which direction the bed was or how she had gotten here.

It took some moments till she could muster the courage to let go of the relative safety of the cupboard, but then she was on her way towards where she hoped was the wall with the big shelf. She had seen how blind people explored their surroundings with a cane and wished very much she had something like that, too. When Noelle's foot met an obstacle, but her hands did not, she was a little bit confused. 'There are stairs!' she suddenly realized, and wondered where they might lead.

It seemed as if there was no railing or wall nearby, so she lowered herself to her knees. On all fours Noelle examined the stairs now. To her surprise they were very wide and already at an end after a few steps. Curious the blind woman got to her feet again and staggered forward. Since she had no idea where she was heading now, after all Erik had never led her over such stairs in his home, she was even more disorientated than before. Suddenly her hip bumped into something and a strange humming sound emerged from it. Noelle was so startled that she let out a short cry and ran a few steps away from the thing. She was stopped when her knees met something less solid than the last obstacle, while her upper body lost its balance. Luckily she caught herself with her outstretched arms; her hands touching something soft. An annoyed hiss was next to her head and she felt a furry tail on her cheek.

"Ayesha! There you are!" Noelle tried to calm down and soon discovered that she had found a couch. Ayesha had settled down here after her meal and wasn't happy to be disturbed by the woman, but the cat didn't leave nevertheless. 'Where am I now? In the living room? I don't think that I passed through a door.' When this new riddle made her head buzz even more, her thoughts were interrupted by a lavish yawn. It was very comfortable to sit on the couch ... very inviting.

The furniture had a covering that felt strange but soft under Noelle's touch. 'What kind of fabric is that?' She began to picture an expensive couch in a light-flooded salon; just like in a fairy tale an old woman had told her when she had been a child. She had sold flowers in the streets. The little girl Noelle once had been had imagined that such a wonderful place had to be filled and decorated with countless colorful flowers. Now the grown woman dared to sniff at the air with some last fantasy-filled hope. 'No flowers here, it seems. Only the same slightly musty, cold air as usual.' That wasn't entirely true. Noelle began to notice the smell of Ayesha and there was something else which she couldn't name. But even if she slowly began to perceive more with her remaining senses, there hardly was much in here that could compare to her foolish dreams of her childhood.

A sigh escaped her involuntary and the young woman was a little startled by its faint echo. Then Noelle relaxed into the richly cushioned back of the couch. 'I don't know why, but I feel safer here than anywhere else I've been. May God look after me so that this carelessness won't bring me into trouble.' She didn't pray very often, after all God hadn't shown her much mercy in her life so far. Nevertheless religion had been an essential part of her upbringing. No matter how her future may look like, Noelle knew she always would be grateful to Erik, who had rescued her from those horrible flames and taken her into his care. 'I will thank him somehow. My life might not be worth much, but it's surely better than just a mere 'thank you'.'

It was not until a lavish yawn surprised her that Noelle noticed how tired she had become and that she had sat unmoving for some time. 'I need to go back to the bed' she thought sleepy. 'But I have no clue how to get there. I'm lost.' This realization filled her with a deep sadness, especially because she feared this would happen to her for the rest of her life now ... getting lost and being helpless. She had been forced to cope with her blindness alone for the past hours and she wished it was all only a nightmare. 'I don't even want to imagine what will happen to me out on the streets, if I can't even find my way in this house.'

Desperate thoughts made her head heavy and so she let it rest on one of the upholstered arms of the couch. Noelle felt miserable and even a bit sick, so she curled up like the cat on the other end of the furniture. Before sleep won over the young woman, she pulled some cloth over herself. Her fingers had found it by chance and it seemed to be made of the same material as the covering of the couch. Noelle smiled unconsciously at the somehow comforting and familiar smell of it.

OOO

The rest of the day Erik stayed unbothered by visitors. He never had been a patient man and his mind hardly ever stood still. So even if he spent most of the time unmoving in the shadows of the attic, he was wide awake and never bored.

Plans were made for a saver access to this hiding place and he considered various possibilities of how to observe the Christine and the Girys better. But Erik knew he had to take care of another matter, before he could spend more time up here or even take his angel away from the influence of Raoul de Chagny and the motherly protection of Madame Giry.

Noelle had to leave as soon as possible. 'I have sworn to take care of her, but it isn't good for her to stay with me much longer. Nobody can stay with me. Only Christine can bring enough light in my life to make my darkness bearable. I thought that I could cure Noelle's eyes, but I can't stay at her side and look after her all the time till that happens ... if it ever happens. In any case I can't allow her to find out too much about me or my home beneath the church.' Erik already had some people in mind that might be able to take her in and look after her well enough if they are rewarded accordingly.

In the middle of his brooding an unmistakable voice told him that Christine was back. It was evening and the growing darkness already would provide sufficient cover for him to go back to his underground refuge. Curiosity got the better of Erik and so he moved to find a good spying-place again. Since the inhabitants had to illuminate their rooms now and the roof-windows were already only dark shadows, it was easy to see which rooms where occupied.

"Oh maman, when will the police leave us alone? They keep asking the same questions again and again. We nearly missed our appointment with Monsieur Peizart." Madame Giry just came back from a short tour through the apartment. While listening to her daughter she had checked if there were any new signs of a certain secret visitor. "We have to corporate with them, Meg. It's their duty to find out who caused this catastrophe at the opera house. A lot of people were injured and some even ..." A sob interrupted Madame Giry's matter-of-fact voice and Erik saw how Christine rushed through his view into her bedroom. Soundlessly he stood up and was about to follow her, when somebody knocked on the door of the apartment.

"Who can this be now? We didn't announce any visitors to the concierge." "My dear, just open the door. Perhaps it's one of the chambermaids. It's impolite to keep her waiting." Erik would have turned away then if the girl had not made such a surprised sound.

"Vicomte de Chagny! We didn't expect you, but of course it's always a pleasure to meet you. You managed to return early from your journey then?" Madame Giry's skirts rustled when she greeted the young man properly. "Excuse me for my unannounced visit at this hour, Madame. I was here in the afternoon and the concierge told me when you planned to be back. Yes, I cut the meeting short, because I wanted to be back if Christine needs me." Erik felt the strong urge to close his hands around his delicate neck. 'Always so polite, Vicomte. Why couldn't you have been so nice and stayed away longer?'

"I'll ask Christine if she can come out to greet you, Vicomte. It was a very tiring day" offered Meg and knocked at the bedroom-door, before entering. Erik didn't bother to move, because he was sure Madame Giry wouldn't allow Raoul to meet Christine in her bedroom. And indeed, soon his angel appeared again. "Good evening, Raoul." It pained Erik to see them so close in the same room, even if they weren't alone. Christine sounded as if she was glad to see him.

"My dear, I've missed your beautiful eyes, but what is wrong? You seemed to have cried!" His worried tone was all that she needed. With another sob she ran into his arms, not caring that Madame Giry and Meg were watching them. "Oh Raoul, don't ask. Just hold me for some time!"

Erik didn't notice how Meg and her mother left the room. The sight of the embracing couple had stabbed a burning dagger of agony into his chest. Barely suppressing a tortured moan he fled out of the window which had been his entry. It was a miracle that he didn't fall down, since he barely looked where he placed his hands and feet. As soon as he was on the ground again he melted with the shadows of the evening and ran to the nearest access to the underground labyrinth that led to his refuge beneath the church.

OOO

Erik's chest seemed to burst. It couldn't be from the running, for his body was well trained, so it had to be his tormented heart. When he reached the sewers he wasn't sure if the sickness and nausea that overwhelmed him were caused by the stench or the images of Raoul and Christine in each others arms that kept appearing in front of his inner eye. At some point Erik just broke down and fell on his knees. He didn't care if he was soaked even more with the vile water. "Christine!" It was more like a desperate howl than the cry of a human being.

By the time the broken man reached the secret rooms deep under the church he had calmed down a bit. The conscious and mostly painful thoughts had retreated into a dark corner of his mind and he had found his way rather by instinct than on purpose. He didn't want to think about anything. He was tired physically as well as psychically. There was no need to illuminate the refuge, since he could see enough in the darkness to find his way to the bed. Part of him dreaded sleep, because usually it was haunted by nightmares. But Erik couldn't move anymore as soon as his head hit the pillow; he didn't even bother to shed his wet, stinking clothes or to cover himself with a blanket.

Before exhaustion pulled him into a deep sleep he noticed a faint smell all around him. It was soothing and seemed to lessen the pain in his heart.

To be continued ...

A little SPOILER: This won't be the last time we see Christine in this story ;)