Author's Note: Call Me Blue Streak has granted me the power to shoot lasers from my head. XD So...-shoots lasers and fries compuer- Oh...damn.
Disclaimer: Not mine...yada yada.
Warnings: Possible movie spoilers.Hardly, though. XD
Crow T R0bot: Haha, yes, I am a woman, er girl. o.O Whatever you would consider a fifteen-year-old.
Special Thanks To: Crow T R0bot, total misanthrope, sparkus (welcome back!), Soneka the Hedgehog, Dinky Doodle, Amelia, and, of course, Abby.
Seeing her so upset was one of the most heart-wrenching things he had ever seen, and he vowed to curse himself for it every minute of every day until he was able to patch things up with her.
Stan sat on his living room couch, slumped in such a way that would have given the illusion of just having gone through major surgery. His eyes felt heavy with weariness and anger, and he would doze off every now and then. This was an amazing feat, considering Kyle and Cartman were watching television, Cartman having a comment for everything and Kyle a comment for those comments. Kenny sat quietly in an arm chair, completely lost in the fluffy cushioning. His hood was pulled so tight around his face it was a wonder he could see and breath. The swelling of his eye had gone down a great deal, and he was now able to hold it open. But he was not worried about his petty wounds now; he was worried about Stan.
Ever since they had returned to Stan's house, Stan had thrown himself on the couch and shut everyone out completely. He hadn't received any injuries other than the bruised eye, but the damage done to his ego and emotions was far more severe. Kenny knew this, and blamed himself for it. He had been an asshole to his love interest and current competition; he had led Stan to give said competition a broken nose. And that, perhaps, was not the best thing to do to win over Wendy. Now whatever miniscule chance Stan ever had at making Wendy his had completely diminished, and it seemed the whole situation had put a damper even on their friendship. Kenny let out a raspy sigh for about the thirteenth time in ten minutes. Thewhole idea of 'love' and 'affection' brought about a sort of amazement for the boy in the orange parka. He'd never felt remotely close to love and had never shown any female affection. He simply showed them his long taliwhacker and how to touch them in a way that made them feel good. No, that was not affection. That was horndogging.
A mixture of thoughts fogged up Kenny's mind for the several agonizing hours they were there. He ignored the pounding in his head and the stinging of his abused eye and swollen lip and tried to watch the movie Kyle and Cartman were watching. It was Pet Sematary, a Stephen King classic. Cartman was enthralled and Kyle was terrified yet equally excited. The contrast of the flickering images against the dark room illuminated these emotions written plainly in their eyes. Kenny noted it made Stan seem more ghost-like.
The movie hit eerily close to home with Kenny; it forced him to reminisce on his younger years of dying. A shiver clambered up and down his spine as the thick, unruly accent of Jud Crandell wafted from the television. "Sometimes dead is better." Kenny pulled his hood as tight as it could possibly go.
"Ain't that the truth," he muttered.
The movie was over at about midnight. Stan was not aware of a silly little thing called time. All he was aware of was his extreme and distasteful bout of self-pity so pathetic even Big Bird would want to smack him out of it. He had begun to snap out of his stupor by the time Cartman and Kyle decided to go. Stan got to his feet, a brief case of dizziness taking hold of him. After a moment or so, he was alright again and ushered them to the door, muttering half-hearted apologies as he did so. Kyle turned and offered his best friend a smile.
"Dude, I don't know why you're so pissed off and upset, but feel better, okay? I'll stop by tomorrow," he said calmly, not knowing what to say or if he should even bother coming over.. "I'll bring the Ben and Jerry's and some Johnny Depp movies and we can act just like horomone-ridden girls," he added with a joking laugh.
Stan nodded, his eyes and face hollow. "Sounds good." Kyle's brows furrowed as he wondered if Stan had even heard him.
"Oh for Christ's sake, Kyle. Stop licking his balls and lets go already!" Cartman received a punch in the arm, releasing his trademark, 'Ay!' Cartman looked at Kyle with eyes of daggers, muttering horrific obscenities under his breath.
Kyle turned towards Stan again, giving him a playful slap on the shoulder. "Careful of that eye, slugger," he advised with a toothy grin. "Put some more ice on it and you'll be winking at the ladies again in no time." Stan nodded and tried to offer the Jew a smile, but all that he accomplished was a simple twitch of the lips. "Seeya later, dude," Kyle said.
"Seeya," responded Stan, closing the door behind them. As he did so, Kenny slowly rose from his chair and appeared at Stan's side. He rubbed his own arm nervously.
"Hey, um, Stan?"
He turned to face the boy hiding behind the hood. Stan could tell Kenny was really upset or nervous about something, and he felt a twang of pity for him. "Yeah?"
Stan wasn't too pissed to talk to him, that was a good sign. Kenny slowly loosened his hood. "I, uh, wanted to thank you."
"For what?"
"You know...for breaking Craig's face since he beat the living shit out of me. I...wasn't expecting that outcome, but thanks for sticking up for me." Kenny fidgeted nervously, his breath growing thinner with each exhale.
Stan dismissed the praise with a wave of his left hand. He turned, not wanting to look at Kenny for some reason.
"I'm so sorry."
Stan looked up, his blue eyes meeting the lighter ones. "Why?" Confusion was written plainly on his face, although he tried to mask it.
Kenny cleared his throat. Didn't Stan understand it was all his fault? He certainly seemed to grasp the severity of the situation. Or maybe he knew perfectly well what Kenny was talking about; maybe he was playing dumb in order to torture Kenny by making him say what he had done. If that was the plan, it was working well. "I totally screwed things up for you, dude."
"What things?" Stan eyed him wearily. By now he knew what Kenny was talking about, but just wanted to hear his version of said 'things'.
"Y-you and Wendy...I acted like a jackass, got you all pissed off, and now Wendy's spitting acid out of her vagina at you," he mumbled from behind his hood, hands reaching for the drawstrings to make it tighter. Stan grew uncomfortable again, looking down at his feet and tracing the patterns in the carpet with his toe. Indeed Stan was a little miffed that Kenny pissed them off, but he didn't need to lash out and attack Craig. That made him no better than the asshole who's only comeback was a flick of a finger.
After a few moments of silent pondering, Stan spoke, much to Kenny's bittersweet relief. "You didn't make things worse than they already were. As long as Wendy is with Craig, there's no Stan in the picture. At all. I guess the one who should be freaked out and wiping the sweat off his balls should be Craig. Wendy'll be hanging the threat of dumping him over his head."
"Well, Stan, that's a good thing for you. If she dumps him, she can move on." Kenny returned to his chair, forgetting his plan of leaving right after apologizing. "She has several options. She could, A, get over what you did to Craig and come to you, B, she could be totally pissed and bitchy and hold it against you, returning to some other assrammer, or C, she could turn into the female Kenny McCormick and fuck anything that walks." He had meant for the last option to be a joke, and he found it quite funny. But his smile vanished from behind the confines of his hood as Stan threw him a glare. "And if she chooses the B method, Stan, then you get to say 'Fuck you, bitch. You aren't worth it.'"
Stan's smooth, black hair bounced as he shook his head. "But dude, she is worth it."
Kenny's eyes widened, his brows arching. "Really, Stan? Is anyone worth the hours spent brooding and probably crying over what isn't? Is anyone worth what you're doing to yourself? You're a wreck, Stan. We hate seeing you like this." It was true except for Cartman, who quite frankly didn't notice any change in his habit. "Kyle's freakin' out about you. He's knows something's bothering you and he thinks it's him. He thinks you don't like him anymore because you won't tell him what's wrong." Kenny paused, and reflected over how stern he was becoming. But it was something that had deeply upset the redhead, and Kenny cared enough about the two of them to be stern when needed. "Don't lose your life-long childhood friends over some bitch, Stan."
Fists were clamped tightly at Stan's sides, knuckles turning white and small cuts browing in his palms. It was obvious something Kenny said had upset him. Kenny sighed with relief. Maybe now that Stan knew how he was hurting Kyle they could figure something out. "Wendy is not a bitch, Kenny."
Once again the blonde found his eyes widening. "What?"
"I said, Wendy is not a bitch."
Kenny gawked, his mouth hanging open and his eyes even wider. "What the hell, dude? Didn't you hear what I just said about Kyle?"
The Marsh boy nodded. "Yeah, and he'll get over it. He always does."
"No he doesn't," Kenny replied curtly, shaking his head. "Everytime one of us does something against him or something he doesn't quite deserve, he remembers it. And it's building up, Stan. Don't let your wanting to shove your dick inside Wendy be the tip of the iceburg."
"Dude, shut up. You're over-reacting."
"Am I, Stan?" Kenny asked knowingly, getting up to his feet and heading for the door. "Or are you just taking everything lightly and being an apathetic little asshole with no real care for those who actually care about you? I'm done trying to get through to you, Stan. It's not even worth it at this point. And you know what? You don't deserve friends like us. Hell, you don't deserve a friend like Cartman."
And Stan was forced to face that grueling reality as the door was slammed shut in his face.
Monday came, and Kyle hadn't shown up at Stan's. Kenny better not have told him about our little...argument, Stan thought bitterly. Having been in a grumpy mood all weekend, he was quick to snap and have a smart-ass reply whenver someone spoke to him. When his parents asked where the black eye came from, he told them he was sitting on his bed at night and bent over to pick up a blanket and banged it on the corner of the nightstand. Being the total nitwits that Sharon and Randy Marsh are, they bought it.
Stan avoided the bus stop at all costs that morning, and instead walked to school. He wasn't sure what Kenny would do if he saw him, or if Kyle was mad at him for some reason. Distancing himself seemed to be the best idea at the moment. He did a good job of avoiding them, he only passed Kenny once and the promiscuous one was too busy hitting on some girl to notice him. For some reason the girls seemed to love his black eye and various bruises and cuts. But it was lunch time now, and he wasn't sure how he was going to avoid them then. He figured he'd have to face them sooner or later, and sooner was probably the best option.
"God dammit," He muttered under his breath, searching for his english book, "Decker's gonna assrape me if I don't find it." He continued to search for it until he felt a hard shove on his shoulder. Stan turned around and stared into the icy eyes of Craig, his nose swollen and disgustingly puffy. Token and Clyde were at either side of him, wearing forced smirks. Stan cursed as Craig shoved him against the lockers, the harsh ridges of cold metal scraping his delicate skin. "What the fuck?"
"You're a god damn assrammer, that's what," Craig spat, glaring at Stan with eyes that could melt a diamond. "You're a no-good pussy and I hate you." Truth was, Craig didn't hate Stan, but Craig was an aggressive person, and often mistook his anger for hate.
"The feeling's mutual, then," Stan replied nonchalantly.
"Shut up," Craig growled simply, shoving Stan again. "I should kick your ass, but Wendy will be pissed if I do. Because of you Wendy is threatening to dump me."
"Then why do I see you two swapping spit in the hallways every chance you get?"
They all turned to find Kenny standing behind them, arms folded tightly across his chest. Kyle was at his side wearing a scowl. He was scowling at Stan, however.
He felt that uneasy tugging of his stomach. The unmistakable tug of guilt.
With a glance towards Stan, Craig replied, "Well, the relationship hasn't exactly been crippled. But I'm not going to let this buttpipe be the cause of our breakup."
"Well it seems to me that it would be in your best interest to leave him alone," Kyle offered with a raised brow and smug grin. Craig huffed and swore under his breath. Fists clenched and unclenched at his sides, and it was obvious to the others he was holding back a punch or two. Stan took a step up from the locker, watching Craig with a weary eye and clenched fist. He wasn't going to make the first move, but he would defend himself, and probably pummel him, if Craig dared to make a move. Craig turned and slammed him into the locker again, as if he were forcing Stan into some form of submission.
"What do you want, Craig?" Stan asked annoyedly.
"I wanna know why the fuck you came after me!" he shouted, as if it were the most obvious thing. "And what I want more is to beat your fucking brains in right now but I can't do that."
"Well you didn't hesitate to do that to Kenny," Stan pointed out, hands on the arm holding him against the locker. He could easily push Craig off but he wasn't going to let him know that just yet.
"Yes, I did," Craig growled. He wore the 'evil eye,' and wasn't afraid to use it against Stan. "I let that little pillow-biter trash me and when he trashed Wendy that was it." Stan threw Kenny a look of shock and anger, but the other boy was busy staring at the ground. His hood was up. "Kept saying shit like I'm not a man, that Wendy better go find a real man, like you." He said the last word with such an air of distaste, any Disney villain would have been proud. Stan continued to stare at Kenny, growing angrier by the second. But now he was starting to piece together what Kenny had done; that was Kenny's own, messed up way of sticking up for Stan, even though he wasn't there and didn't have to see it.
"Well, Kenny's right," Stan dared to say, "I never knew Wendy was lesbian."
Craig's grip loosened, "What?"
A slow smirk stretched across his features. "That's why she's with you, right? You're a pussy?" Kenny and Kyle snickered, and Clyde and Token worked hard to supress their laughter. Rage filled Craig's body, clogging his mind and causing him to forget Wendy's threat. He clenched his fists and threw it towards Stan's face, but he was able to move just in time for the fist to hit the metal locker.
"Son of a bitch!" He screamed, holding his now bloodied fist in his hand, staring Stan down. He charged at him again and got him to the ground, but was unable to give Stan the beating of his life when the unmistakable voice of Wendy screeched, "Craig!"
Craig lept up off of Stan with speed, turning to face his angry girlfriend with a look of pure horror. "Wendy! I- I, uh-"
"You what? You just went behind my back and beat poor Stan up? I told you to leave him alone!" she snapped, her cheeks flushed with rage.
"Hey, babe," Kenny spoke up, "You didn't put a restraining order on me."
"Shut up, Kenny," she said simply, never taking her anger-filled eyes off of Craig. They all though she looked demonic. Suddenly she reached up and slapped Craig across the face, causing his had to turn and his cheek to sting. A small, red handprint had started to form. He just gawked at her, surprised and pissed-off at the same time that'd she do that in front of the other guys. "We're over, Craig," she said hollowly, and stepped passed him to help Stan up.
At the touch of her hand, his heart melted again, and his legs had become so shaky it was hard for him to stand. He accomplished it, however, and started to blush as she checked his face out for injuries and began smoothing his clothes down. "You alright, Stan?"
"Yeah," he said, smiling warmly at her. "All he did was get me to the ground, all the damage was done on Friday." He snickered and glanced at Craig's puffy face. "But it looks like I did more damage to him."
"That's not funny," Wendy said blandly, any trace of friendliness vanishing from her face. She rolled her eyes with disgust and sauntered off to join Bebe.
"That Wendy Testaburger sure is a fine piece of ass."
"Shut up, Kenny," they all chimed.
Stan was allowed to sit with the group at lunch, but not much talking was done. Cartman wasn't too pleased with this as he was forced to talk to himself. Needless to say, when lunch was over the other three grabbed their things and were out of the cafeteria in a flash. Stan was worried about English; he had both Wendy and Kyle in that class, and to make matters worse they sat right beside him. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be glad or upset that neither of them said a word to him.
Stan was confused; Kyle and Kenny had commenced giving him the silent treatment, but earlier they were quick to stand up to Craig for him.
They're probably trying to make some sort of point or something, he thought, like showing me what a real friend is. He grew grim at the thought, tht guilty feeling nagging him and his tortured stomach once more. That was exactly what they were doing, and he was almost a bit relieved at that. They still considered them his friends, and if he was able to act like a decent human being, they could patch things up again.
But what he saw after school was over silenced those thoughts.
Through the massive crowd of teenagers and teachers hurrying on their way to get home, Stan could see Kenny talking to someone with that debonair grin of his. Kenny glanced up and met Stan's gaze, his smile faltering for only a second.
Wendy came into view, and threw her arm across Kenny's back, and with her other hand held his. She rested her head on his shoulder and they walked out of sight.
Stan had never run home so quickly in his life.
Author's Note: Gah, I'm so sorry it took that long to update. . I have been really out of it lately, so I apologize if my chapters aren't up to par. I think this is my longest chapter yet, and I hope to make the other chapters longer as well. I can't say when the next chapter will be up...I don't know how long this 'being out of it-ness' will last, and in a few days I've got a friend coming over for the week. And I'm getting a new puppy that week so I'll be busy taking care of him. shrugs I'll try the best I can.