Blind Mask

(by Nicole Gruebel)

Disclaimer: … see chapter 1

Summary of the past chapters: Christine learned that the Phantom was still alive and watching her, but she wasn't able to give up on Raoul yet. Erik tried to distract himself by spending more time with Noelle, who slowly started to accept that she might be blind forever. At last Erik's music fills her imagination with some pictures.

Again, Maria helped a lot to make this chapter better and provided nearly all of the really good sounding passages ;) Lotte Isilya was so kind to give everything a final check.

Erik'sTrueAngel ... yes, you're right, of course it was Noelle who freed Erik from his last nightmare. But I'm afraid our favorite phantom will stay stubborn for a while ... it's just the way he is ;)

Shelvins ... I'm happy that you like Ayesha in this story. Although I didn't plan this from the start, she'll be quite an important character here (at last for a cat).

Chapter 9 - Make your choice

Erik's concentration was solely reserved for his work. Soon he would need to retrieve some of the money he had put away, and since he could no longer blackmail the management of the Opera, he had to come up with new ways to acquire money.

At the same time new melodies began slowly forming in his mind. Erik had not played them on the piano yet, as he rarely touched it. The instrument reminded him too much of Christine.

Suddenly he sensed a movement behind him and stopped writing. Erik knew almost instantly it was Noelle, but he had not expected her to be holding a cup of steaming tea in her hand while she approached him slowly. The situation reminded him unpleasantly of the fateful moment before Christine had ripped off his mask for the first time. She had, too, surprised him while he had been absorbed in his music. "Mademoiselle, what are you doing?" Erik managed to keep his voice calm, though he was somewhat thrown by the smile on the young woman's face.

"I noticed that you prepared some tea, Monsieur Erik, but I got the impression you forgot about it." In fact Noelle often had counted the time when Erik had brewed his tea. Tricks like that, many of which he had taught her himself, helped her to grow more independent. Realizing the tea he had prepared himself had been completely forgotten, Noelle had decided to try and show that she could make herself useful. Due to his help, she had been able to find her way about the little kitchen, and so, with great effort and determination, she had succeeded to serve him with his forgotten cup of tea.

'She looks somewhat different. Not ill anymore, although I know all too well that her eyes are still red and sore underneath the bandage.' He watched for a few more moments how Noelle approached him with confident, calculated steps. "Thank you, Mademoiselle. You need not bother with such things. Where is your walking stick?" Erik was a bit irritated. He was not accustomed to being served, nor did he want her hurt while attending him. Carefully and with a nod she could not see, he took the cup from her hand. "Here, sit down, please." Gently he seated her on a nearby chair.

For some time now, Noelle wished to know more about Erik. It was hard for her to imagine what he looked like or what he was doing. Erik always maintained a distance between them. This was evident in their conversations and that he had as little physical contact with her as possible.

The only part of him Noelle had consciously touched had been his hands, andshe remembered them well.They were large, but so slender that they nearly seemed fragile. Yet Noelle knew they could be as strong as they could be gentle. Sometimes Erik wore gloves, but they could hide neither the odd coldness of his touch, nor the ring he wore on his little finger.

He often brought fresh roses to his home. Their rich smell greatly improved the normally musty air. Noelle wished to know if he bought them for himself or a lady he was courting, but of course she did not dare to question him about so private a matter.

"I have to go out soon, and I do not know for how long I will be away. I believe you will be fine on your own for a time." This announcement came rather unexpectedly. Yes, Noelle wanted to show him and herself how independent she had become despite her blindness, but she feared loneliness regardless.

Erik noticed that her smile vanished and her face paled. "In a few days I'll show you to your new home. The people will be kind to you there. Every month I will send someone there to pay for your accommodation and everything else you might need." He assured her once more of that. 'I hope Jules made a good choice in this matter.' Erik often relied on the man, who had been a great help for years, even more now that his power as Opera Ghost was no more. Both men had become dependant upon one another over the years. Jules needed Erik's money, and Erik, on his part, often required Jules' vastly varied services.

"Thank you, Monsieur Erik," Noelle said after a moment. "I'm very grateful for all that you have done for me. Will I be able to meet you occasionally? I will miss your stories and your music." The truth of those words surprised her. Noelle inwardly realized that she was afraid to leave this place and meet new people. Outside this house there was a whole world which she had to grow blindly accustomed to. 'Can I learn to trust more strangers as I trust Erik?'

It was evident that the young woman was not pleased with his announcement, even if she tried to hide it. 'Of course she is disappointed. She is still blind! All I ever did for her was ruin her life.'

"I think you will be better off without me."

OOO

Once more Erik stood in the dark alley, watching the apartment building in which Christine currently lived. It was evening, and he wore a mask of dark leather. It did not sit as comfortably as his old, white mask and chafed his disfigured cheek, but he felt safer with it, especially out in the streets.

This visit was better prepared than the first one. Noelle could be safely left alone for a time, and he had decided upon how to approach Christine. It would be as it had been at the Opera House, when he had lured her out of her dressing room and had spent most of the night teaching her to sing. Erik cherished the memory of those few precious hours. He always had been reluctant to bring her back, but it would have been too selfish and dangerous to keep her with him longer.

It didn't take long for him to climb up into the attic again. The apartment was still dark, but Erik knew Christine and the Girys would come back soon. Due to one of Jules' contacts he was well informed of their coming and going.

While he was waiting, he made sure his appearance was decent. In his refuge beneath the church, with only a blind woman and a cat as companions, he often neglected to wear his mask and wig. It seemed as if the rage that had destroyed his beloved Opera House and driven Christine into the arms of her Vicomte had also killed part of him. He still could not bear to look at his disfigured skull, but he hardly felt the need to disguise himself as a perfectly groomed gentleman anymore. Tonight, however, was different. Although Christine already knew what was hidden under the mask and claimed to be not frightened by it, he did not want to show his disfigured face.

Finally he heard a carriage pulling up in front of the building.

OOO

Not long after the three women had entered their apartment, they were disturbed by a knock on the door. Madame Giry answered it and met the boy who was assisting the Concierge.

"Madame, a gentleman is asking for you and Mademoiselle Giry." The boy stepped aside, waiting for an answer or that she would follow him downstairs.

"What is his name?" Madame Giry asked with a frown. 'Is it another reporter or police officer? If so, why did he not ask for Christine?'

"I'm sorry, Madame, but he didn't mention his name. He claimed to be an old acquaintance of yours."

"Who can this be, mother?" Meg inquired eagerly.

"I don't know, my dear. The former ballet-mistress turned and addressed Christine, who had thus far been very silent. "I don't think it will take long. I will send Meg back to you if I am mistaken."

Christine smiled lovingly at the woman who was like a mother to her. "You don't have to worry about me. I am not a child who can't stay alone for a few hours." No one commented on this, although all three women knew Christine needed a lot of company since the dramatic events at the Opera. Soon, the young woman was alone in the apartment.

OOO

"Christine ..." Her heart and soul awoke instantly to the familiar voice, even if it nearly was too soft to hear.

"Christine ..." Her breath caught in her throat and she yearned to follow the seductive call. She closed her eyes and drifted off to memories and dreams she had tried to forget. She could not help but wonder why Raoul was unable to stir in her such powerful and consuming emotions; why she could not give in to the Vicomte as she had long since surrendered to her Angel of Music.

"My beautiful angel ..." The velvety voice surrounded her, whispering right into her heart.

'I am dreaming.' Christine had heard his voice nearly every night in her sleep since Raoul had taken her away from the Opera House. It was different than in her youth - she felt more alive in those dreams than when she was awake. She had not sung a single note since her old life had been shattered like the magnificent Opera House, but in her dreams she always returned to her teacher. The Angel of Music was still able to inspire her voice, at last while she was sleeping.

"Erik," she breathed his name, sacred and corrupt at the same time. Christine had not intended to utter it, but now the unpleasant memories that were connected to its bearer returned. The spell began to break. A cold shiver ran down her spine when she heard the door being locked.

"I am here, my angel." Christine's eyes snapped open and she turned to the source of the voice, which had answered her unspoken question. Erik stood at the door to the apartment. His gloved hand still resting on the key he had just turned. At first, Christine could not believe her eyes, and yet his very presence in the room was too powerful to be dismissed as mere illusion. It was not a ghost standing before her, but a man. Even if she had not seen him change before her eyes after she had kissed him, she would have noticed that he was different. She had but to look him in the eyes. His mask, she noticed, was also different. The dark brown presented an obvious contrast to the former white, and made him look somehow less intimidating.

Soundlessly, Erik had entered the bedroom the same way he had once before. With his marvellous voice he had entranced Christine, and stealthily joined her in the parlour. Her friend and guardian would not be back anytime soon, but he did not want to risk being disturbed. He had made sure an old friend of Madame Giry and her late husband would pay them a visit this evening.

When he was finally prepared to face her, he broke his spell. Erik could not bear to use his tricks on her any longer. He did not want her to be his marionette, now even less than before.

They stared at each other for the longest time. Christine's first impulse was to cry for help, but she could not. 'He would never harm me.' Even if no one believed it, her heart knew it was true. 'Somehow I knew he would come to me.' It had been only a matter of time after the letter he had left on the dressing table. Christine remembered how relieved she had been when she had learned that Erik was still alive, but she had still been afraid to face him again. She was aware now, more than ever before, that he was no angel or phantom but a man. Part of her screamed that he was a murderer and a blackmailer, and that she should not be alone with him - but as much as she feared him, she was drawn to him, too.

'She is so beautiful. How could I dare to come near her again?' Erik's eyes relished what he had been denied for so long. There she was - his angel - only a few steps away. He wanted to run over to her, beg for her forgiveness and her love. Yet, he stayed where he was, a safe distance away from Christine. He saw no fear in her eyes, only acceptance of his presence, but he did not want to shatter this fragile moment.

"Why are you here?" Her voice rang tenderly in his ears. How he craved to hear her sing again!

"Christine, you are my angel … you brought the light into my life. Only your kindness showed me that I deserve to life at all." In long, swift strides he was beside her, kneeling at her side and holding her hands in his. She gasped in surprise and could not turn her eyes away from his. Hundreds of emotions reflected in those fathomless orbs. "Come back to me," he implored.

"Come back to you?" He had asked her to stay with him before. He had even tried to force her, threatening Raoul's life. To come back to him ... although part of her wished to be reunited with her mysterious teacher, she dreaded the thought of being captive in his dark realm again. Erik could read her feelings plainly on her face.

"No, do not fear me, my love." He dreaded her fear more than her rejection. Slowly, his hand reached up to her face as he wordlessly asked for permission to touch her. Christine's eyes softened and he gently caressed her cheek. "I can not forget the wonderful music we created together. Our souls were one, Christine." The fingers of his other hand entwined with hers.

"Come with me. You are the only one who voluntarily touched this cursed face to show me love. You even granted me a kiss. I do not want to fall back into darkness without your light. Let me be with you, and I will be at your command and fulfil all that you desire." She had granted him so much and he knew he was not worthy of it. He had been condemned into darkness and loneliness since birth, but that could not be an excuse for all his terrible deeds. 'I was a creature of darkness, and yet I have been touched by her light. Nothing that I have done for her can compare with that.' Erik cherished every second he spent in Christine's presence. He was afraid a wrong word or deed would destroy this precious moment.

Raoul's romantic promises and sweet declarations of his love appeared somewhat shallow, compared to Erik's words. 'I want to believe him ...' Christine drowned in Erik's eyes while her body trembled at his enchanting voice. She did not fear his touch anymore, as it was tender and loving. Once again she could see what a vulnerable human being was hidden behind the mask and the cursed face beneath it.

Slowly she leaned forward and lifted her free hand to touch him. Suddenly Christine was aware of something cool that brushed the bare skin of her low neckline. It was the golden jewelled necklace that Raoul had given her that evening. Abruptly her mind was filled with images of Raoul and her head began reeling. "No!" Christine screamed the word more to herself than to Erik, but the pain it inflicted upon him was evident. She stood up and stepped away from him, muttering to herself, "I can't ... I can't ... God, please tell me! Why do I have to go through this?" She touched Raoul's gift in fear she would lose herself again in the Phantom's spell.

Erik was devastated by this rejection. He knew he could not force her to love him. Her kiss had already brought more happiness and peace into his life than he ever could have imagined. The look in her eyes had told him that she had not done it only to save Raoul's life, and it had torn down the walls around his heart. He had freed both of them, to be left alone in his shame. But out of this was born a new determination. Erik wanted to show Christine that he was worthy of her love. She only had to give him the chance to prove it.

"Christine, why do you shy away from me?" He stood up but stayed where he was, spreading his hands to show that he would not approach her without her admission. "My angel, our bond is formed in music and passion. Can you indeed give it up? Please, let me show you that I can change and give you the life you deserve."

She knew it was inevitable to face him and her own turbulent emotions. 'I can't deny that nothing can be compared to the music we share, but his voice stirs something in me that I am afraid of. My love for Raoul is true, although he will never completely ban Erik from my mind.' For some moments thoughts of both men nearly overwhelmed her. They were so different and lived in completely separate worlds, yet they shared so much. Christine finally turned to Erik and found the courage to let go of the necklace. "I share a deep bond with Raoul, too. And, like you, he offers me the world, if I stay with him. I cannot bear this from both of you!"

That silenced Erik. Never in his dreams - nor his nightmares – had he thought she would compare him to the Vicomte. He knew the boy loved Christine, too, but Raoul's feelings surely were not as deep as his own. Of course he envied Raoul, as the Vicomte was not born with a devils face. "I am nothing like this boy. I watched over you and guided you for years. The Vicomte does not know you as I do. Your heart and soul hunger for music." For a moment he was afraid she would deny it, but her eyes only lowered in agreement. While he appeared calm on the outside, Erik was nervous and confused. He felt that Christine was holding something back from him, and he knew that they wouldn't have much time left.

"Yes, I gave you my soul and trusted you blindly, but you murdered and threatened to keep me prisoner in your darkness. A life with Raoul might keep me from stage, but at least I won't have to fear your unpredictable temper and he will never deceive me. I wished all of this would end ..." Christine could not help but start crying. Her outburst surprised her and she almost feared Erik would become angry. Instead, he approached her slowly and gathered her in his arms, stroking her hair, soothing her with his beautiful voice. Christine felt like a little girl once more comforted by her dear father. For Erik, it was another moment of overwhelming joy. Although he had caused her tears, his angel still allowed him to embrace her, and Christine's slender arms held on to him as if he were her lifeline.

After she had calmed down, Christine stepped back, struggling for the right words to say. "He - Raoul - he gave me until tomorrow to decide. If I want to be with him, he will make our engagement official immediately and we are to be wed in some weeks. His sisters and aunt say that I have much to learn, before I could be a proper wife to a Vicomte. Raoul agrees that I should live with them for a while to gain their acceptance. But I know they only wish to prove him that I will never truly belong." She paused before continuing. "If I refuse, his family demands that he refrains from seeing me ever again."

It pained Erik to hear the regret in her voice at that prospect and he could not hide it completely when he asked softly: "Would you be equally distressed if you could never see me again? I don't know if I can bear having you become his wife. My heart threatens to stop every time he holds you in his arms."

Suddenly, Christine fiercely grabbed the collar of his vest. "Don't force such a burden on my shoulders, Erik! I can't bear it! There is love in my heart for both of you, don't you understand? But being with you costs so much strength and courage and I don't know if I can do that. Please, I don't know what I would do if you die! You were always there for me. You are still my angel of music!" She desperately tried to hold on to the dream she had shared with this man.

It became harder and harder to control himself. Her touch burned like fire. He knew Christine was not his yet, but Erik would rather burn to ashes than part with her, as he might never get the chance to hold her again. With his last strength, he pulled away from her and bowed politely as the gentleman he was dressed to be. "I can't foresee when my heart will fail me, but I can be at least as generous as your precious Vicomte. I will leave you alone so you can make your decision. Since I think you will regret your choice when you stay with the boy, I will be watching you, no matter where you will live. No matter if you choose me tomorrow or in a few weeks, I will provide you with the life you wish to live, should you choose to share it with me."

Without another word and without waiting for her response, he left. Christine was too stunned to say anything or follow him. When she finally ran after him into the bedroom, it was empty. On her pillow lay a single, blood-red rose. This time, there was no letter with the flower, but a ring. She recognized it as the simple delicate golden band he had given her once before, when he had asked her to be his wife for the first time. 'I gave it back to him when he sent me away. I would have stayed with him when I slipped it on my finger the first time, but I felt I did not deserve it when I was glad that he didn't make me stay with him after all.'

Raoul's engagement ring had been ripped off the chain that carried it by Erik. It probably was lost for good. Raoul did not mind much - he had given her that wonderful necklace to show his immense affection for her. He had promised Christine that her finger would be adorned with a matching new engagement ring, if she decided to stay with him and become his true fiancיe. Only then she had realized that she had never worn his first ring properly, but that she had willingly put on Erik's.

With great care, she wrapped the golden band in a handkerchief with the embroidered initials of her father's name and hid it away. It was one of the few personal possessions she had been able to rescue from the scorched ruin of the Opera House.

To be continued …