Forbidden

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic

Chapter Eleven

Cloud didn't bother to explain. He ran towards the church in a rush, a panic in his eyes. In the short time Riku knew him he already had the feeling that Cloud always kept his cool, no matter how bad the situation was. Seeing how afraid he looked before turning into the church made him nervous. He decided to run after him.

Cloud jumped the entrance stairs to the double doors and slammed them open, an echo protruding throughout the entire room. Riku followed and stood behind him, not exactly sure what was happening. They both were stopped right there, right before all of the benches and staring right up at the first row before the pedestal. Sitting right there was Sora. His face was away from theirs.

"What?" Riku asked. He was somehow angry, annoyed. There he was! Sora was right there, in front of them. No pressure. What was there to worry about? Riku looked up to Cloud, who was standing next to him at the doorframe, that same anxious expression still on his face. That unsettled face made his stomach churn.

Finally Cloud spoke. Sora did not turn his head. "Riku, if you could just . . . wait outside?"

Riku frowned. That's not what he wanted to hear, of all things. He started forward towards the front row of the church, ignoring Cloud and his words. There was nothing. Nothing! "No I won't. I want to know what's going on!"

If Cloud protested after that, Riku didn't hear it. The anger was turning into the same sort of anxiety he was sure that Cloud had felt and may still have been feeling; only there was an empty space there, and difference. Riku didn't know the problem, while he did.

His insides were starting to melt. His steps were long, but somehow the first row still seemed far away. Questions of doubt were running through his head. 'What the hell am I doing? What am I getting into? What is Sora . . .?'

Right now Riku was imagining that Sora was smiling, just as he always did. Whenever they talked, it was either that or his baby pout, and he had yet to do something today that made Sora upset enough to do that. Then abruptly there was a mental break in his mind. Sora stopped smiling. 'What's he hiding?'

But when Riku reached out his hand he couldn't turn that shoulder around. He couldn't see his face, but there was Sora's arm resting in his lap. Fresh cuts ran across his wrist and bright red blood dripped onto the seat and soaked into his clothes. His other hand was shaking violently- Riku realized nearly his whole body was- and he was squeezing the veins tighter, letting more of the liquid slink onto the surface.

Sora finally turned his face to see Riku he was crying.

"Sora!" Cloud said loudly, hurrying to the front. He went past Riku and kneeled in front of Sora, taking his wrist in his hand and looking at it thoroughly, not caring that the blood was smearing on his fingers. It seemed almost routine; he was acting like Riku wasn't even there. "Geez, I knew you would do this again . . . Leon just had to go and get you started on this."

"Leon?" Riku questioned. This was connected? "What does that have to do with him? Sora . . . Sora just cut himself! What's wrong with him?"

Riku found himself breathing harshly, as if he was the one who cut himself and was feeling weak. He was still mad. He wasn't mad at anyone; he just felt that way. Riku never cut himself or hurt himself, no matter how bad things got in his life. What could be so bad that someone like Sora would do it?

Cloud opened his mouth to speak but he didn't even have to ask. Riku turned away and stomped out the door, almost fearing the sight and what his anger might do if he let too much out. The double doors to the church shut so loud the sound vibrated through the room. Cloud went right to work. He took the wristband next to Sora on the bench and pressed it against the cuts, waiting until it was completely soaked.

"This is really too much," he said to Sora in a worried and at the same time stern tone, putting the wristband aside. He started searching through his pockets. "Sora, you can't solve your anxiety problem like this. You've have to try something else."

Sora pulled his arm away from Cloud gently and began to lick away at the dried blood that crusted over his skin, looking completely unaffected by the sickness of it all. Cloud grimaced, but he realized that with nothing in his pockets he didn't have much else to do. He took of his shirt and pulled Sora's arm back to him, away from his mouth, quickly wrapping it around. Cloud's eyes seemed after that, but Sora knew better. "Are you feeling sick or anything?"

"Sick?" Sora repeated. He shook his head. Why sick? He was feeling much better. "Like, faint or anything? No . . . I think I'm just used to it."

Cloud frowned at the comment and Sora took the opportunity to wipe his tears away with his other arm. Most were dry and sticking to his cheeks, but the rest smeared along with a bit of blood. When he put his arm down, he momentarily looked at Cloud then averted his eyes. Of all things he thought of, he had to take off his shirt . . . His brother-in-law was really too handsome. He fought the red that was trying to tinge his cheeks.

"Sorry," Sora said in a small voice. Cloud opened his eyes and looked up. He was still kneeling. "I know it's a messed up habit, but . . . it's really hard to stop. I'm addicted."

Cloud understood and at the same time, at a deeper level, he was confused. "Does cutting yourself feel that good?"

Sora paused movement as he faced the side of the church, not really observing anything but thinking briefly. He softly smiled. "Yeah . . . I guess it does. And it isn't just the feeling I get, how everything suddenly feels better after I do it. " Sora rethought what he said.

"What else is there?" Cloud asked. Sora shrugged.

"I don't know."

Cloud smiled sweetly. He wasn't even sure why, but somehow he felt a lot better. He stood up, lightly kissing Sora's forehead and pulling him into a tight, familial hug. "You're my little brother . . . I worry about you. Please, whenever there are any problems, come to me next time. Or Aerith. Okay?"

"S . . . Sure." Feeling Cloud's skin made the heat in his body rise so high he could swear the church was on fire. But he was going to ignore it as best as he could; he wasn't going to bother Cloud with that problem. Sora pushed away, chuckling a little. "If you worry this much over a brother, you'll be in denial when Aerith has the baby."

"Yeah, seriously."

"Honey! You're back!"

"Yes . . . the traffic was a little much, but it feels good to be home."

"Is everything . . . taken care of?"

"I think it's as solved as it's going to get . . . Hey, is that dinner I smell?"

"Yes!"

Kairi listened to the muffled voices from her room. For the first time in weeks, her mother sounded like she was happy, with not a single care in the world. There was a ring, a tone to her voice that was uplifting and like how she used to be. Kairi hadn't heard it in forever. It gave her chills.

Kairi heard footsteps coming up the stairs and she closed her eyes. She was lying in her bed, trying her best to fall asleep to let time pass. She felt like it was something she always did lately, since nothing else was interesting anymore. No more school, no more friends, no more life. She gave up in doing her homework.

The footsteps became louder and louder, more intruding, and she knew just where they were headed. They were unbearable. She didn't want to smile, she didn't want to welcome him home or celebrate her father finally being home. She just wanted to fall asleep! Was that too much to ask?

The door to her bedroom opened and suddenly she was even more wide awake than she was before. She just couldn't do it; she still had too much energy to waste before she could finally shut herself out. She looked up to her father, and his soft green eyes and his calm smile made her smile back. It was small -and fake- but better than nothing.

X x x x x

Thank you everyone for your wonderful reviews! I would comment back, but I did and then my computer froze and erased all my long commenting and replies. Forgive me! I hope you'll all review this chapter as well. XD Thank you so much for your support and encouragement through this story! It makes me so proud.