Welcome to the world of bus-depression. I am a chronic sufferer of this condition and here is my proof. Where else but on a bus sufferring from this tragic condition would I have come up with this storyline? Anyway, if you want me to explain the phenominen (or however you spell it) of bus depression email me and I'll see if I can explain it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblades, I shudder to think of the plot of I did /cackles/
Warnings: Yaoi, Tala/Bryan and Tala/Kai- sorta. It's hard to explain unless you read. /hint hint/ gets a tad graphicy- for me anyway. In the grand scheme of things it's nothing drastic.
Tala felt the rain falling on his head as he made his way to the bus stop. His mother had always told him that rain was the tears of Angel's as they cried. That was when she had been alive… He agreed with her. It suited his mood.
He hugged his long coat closer to his body and shivered. The rain combined with the harsh wind made a tag-team especially designed to creep into any and all small holes or crevices in his clothing.
If rain was Angel tears then the wind had to be the Devil's breath.
He reached his destination and sat on the small, hard seat of a bus stop. Tala felt like he had spent his entire life in bus stops. They were the crossroads for almost all of his travel. To work… From work… Was that all he did these days?
He pulled his sleeve up to expose his wrist. Ignoring the cold, Tala examined it carefully. The red mark on it looked like it would become a bruise. Tala frowned. How would he explain that?
This wasn't the first time he had returned home with injuries. He was fast running out of excuses. Why had he taken this job?
Because we need the money. He reminded himself. Do we need the money -that- much though?
The bus arrived, running through a puddle and spraying Tala with dirty water. He cursed softly, shaking himself to try to get the better part of the brown water off his coat. Failing, he looked down at the large stains, quickly calculating how much it would cost to dry-clean it.
Yes. He thought dismally. Without the money that he brought into the household they would be turfed out on to the street.
Tala stepped on to the bus hesitantly. He didn't meet the glare of the bus driver as he paid the fare to get home.
"That'll be five dollars extra." The driver growled at him.
"What? Why?" He couldn't afford to pay five more dollars. Already they were making sacrifices just to stay in their crappy shoebox of a rented house. Tala couldn't remember the last time he had eaten something other than two-minute noodles.
"You're going to be dripping on my seats. I want five dollars for water damage."
Tala blanched. If it hadn't been for this stupid bus driver he wouldn't be dripping half as much as he was. "B-but…"
"Look, either you pay up or you get out." The bus driver pointed back out into the rain, leering.
Tala sighed and reached fro his wallet again. There goes another day's worth of food. He though sadly as the note left his hand.
When the money was safely in his till-box the driver smirked at the redhead. "Take a seat."
Tala nodded and walked to a seat midway down the bus and sat. He felt the water droplets on his skin like tiny balls of fire. He looked up to see an air-conditioning vent about him. Who would have the aircon on on a night like this?
Why did he even need to ask that question? The bus driver was wearing a short-sleeved shirt. He was obviously one of those annoying people who didn't feel the cold.
He stared at the droplets of rain as they hit the window. He watched the patterns that the raindrops made meditatively. They were changing constantly. Just like he had to constantly change. It was only here on the bus that he could be totally honest with himself.
It was only here that he could allow himself to be immersed in his pool of self-hate. It was only here that he could allow himself to see the disgusting piece of humanity that he was.
All too soon, the bus came to a halt at his stop. Tala stood and edged out of his seat. He made his way to the front of the bus, past the driver and back into the rain.
He shivered as he felt the raindrops fall on his head for the second time that night. If anything, the rain had become heavier since his ride on the bus.
He glared at the back of the bus as it pulled away before crossing the road to a small house. He pulled open the keys from his pocket and opened the door quietly. If he was lucky…
A light flicked on, revealing a young man with lavender hair. He had a concerned expression on his face. "You shouldn't be out there when it's like this. You'll get sick."
Tala smiled softly as he rid himself of his stained coat. "And you shouldn't be up this late. What time is it anyway?"
Bryan glanced at his watch. "Around 2am..." He gave Tala a tired smile. "You know I can't sleep when you're out." He crossed the room and embraced the redhead from behind as he hung up his coat.
Tala hummed happily and leaned back into his boyfriend's warmth. Maybe it was worth it just to come home to this.
Bryan noticed the red mark on Tala's wrist and picked it up, examining the skin carefully. "What happened?" He enquired, squeezing gently and frowning in concern as Tala winced at the pain.
"Nothing." Tala told him, placing a chaste kiss on the other's lips. "Just someone at the bar trying to take what wasn't theirs. You should see him." He chuckled weakly and winced as Bryan put pressure on his wrist.
"You keep coming home with stuff like this. You know I don't like you working there. Why can't you just quit?" He dropped Tala's wrist and took hold of his waist, pulling the redhead toward himself. "I know there would be plenty of places that are looking for someone exactly like you."
Tala sighed. " Bry, we've had this conversation before. I have to work. It's a risk of my job that there'll be a few lecherous old guys who don't understand that I just serve the drinks. I have to keep working so you can go to uni. And, at the moment the only places who want me are there and here. I know exactly where I'd rather be, though."
Bryan smirked and nuzzled his love's neck. "And where would that be?"
Tala smiled and caressed the other's cheek. "With you, of course." He tilted his head upwards and captured Bryan's lips in his own, his tongue exploring the well-known depths of the others mouth,
Bryan pulled away, making Tala give an involuntary whimper. "I'm sorry- I'm just really tired. I have a class that I need to get to in-" he checked his watch "- about six and a half hours."
Tala nodded understandingly. "Ok. Bed?"
Bryan smiled. "Ok." He took Tala's head in his hands and gave him a small goodnight kiss before leading the way to their shared bed.
Tala lay on his side of the bed and stared glumly at the glowing alarm clock. It's glaring red digits showed him that it was 2:42 in the morning. He sighed. It was 14 hours and 18 minutes until he had to return to his personal hell.
Bryan mumbled something incoherent in his sleep before rolling over and flinging a possessive arm around Tala's waist, pulling the redhead closer to him.
Tala smiled sleepily and positioned himself so he was spooned into his love. Bryan opened his eyes briefly and, seeing where Tala was, shut his eyes again and hugged the other closer to his body.
Tala sighed in contentment. He was going to enjoy every second of his time with his love.
------
Tala paid the fare for his bus ride and sat in a seat near the front. He checked his watch and shivered. Half an hour til he had to be at the bar. Half an hour until… He shuddered; he didn't want to think about it.
Instead, he stared out the window, watching as traffic flowed around the bus. Most people were going home to their families and loved ones. Tala was going to work- to the one person he truly hated.
He sighed. After he had met Bryan he had thought the he had lost the ability to hate. Obviously, he had been wrong.
The bus pulled up to a stop outside the bar Tala worked in. Steeling himself, Tala stood up and exited the bus. He had to do this. Bryan was counting on him.
It was only the thought of Bryan's face if he had to give up on his degree in Psychology that made Tala walk into the bar that was fast becoming his prison.
"Oh, so you actually decided to turn up?" Tyson asked him with a sneer. The dark-haired boy was busy drying a glass with a semi-clean tea towel. "I'd be lying if I said I was happy about it."
Tala ignored him and flipped up a section of the bar on its hinges before ducking underneath it.
"Typical." Tyson muttered darkly. "Turn up late and you never do any work. I guess I should have realized that you're far too important to talk to your mere co-workers. Personal Slaves, more like."
Tala shut his eyes and willed away the tight feeling in his throat. Tyson had every right to be upset with him. He never did any work at the bar itself and was still paid more than the other man. Not enough, though. If he were paid enough he would have a choice about whether he would return. His employer did not want him to have that choice.
Tala spotted his employer in an obscure corner behind the bar. The man extended an arm and beckoned to Tala with one finger. Tala gulped. He remembered when he had thought of the man who paid him as attractive. Not sexually attractive, of course, he loved Bryan too much for that, but he had definitely though that his employer was easy on the eyes. Whether it had been the man's piecing crimson eyes, his multi-tonal hair or if it was just his attitude Tala was unsure. That had all been in the past though. This was now.
He hesitantly walked toward Kai Hiwatari, his employer, and stood in front of him. He tried to meet the other's gaze but quickly dropped his head to stare at the floor. He didn't want to see what was in those eyes. He hated himself for this. He didn't even have to courage to look his fate in the eyes.
"You're late." Kai told him. If Tala had looked up he would have seen the glint of malice and lust in his eyes. "I've told you before that you aren't to be late. Obviously the lesson hasn't stuck."
Tala continued to stare down at the floor. He remembered those 'lessons' as Kai had put it. He remembered them all well. It was no use telling Kai that his bus had been late. Kai wouldn't care. He would only laugh at him.
Kai grabbed the front of Tala's shirt and pulled the smaller man toward him, claiming his lips with his own. He pulled away and dragged Tala into the back room. He had converted this room into an office when he had bought the bar.
Now, he shut the door after dragging Tala in with him. "I've warned you about being late before. I guess I just have to repeat the lesson." He kissed the redhead harshly, slamming him backwards into the door.
Tala gasped at the pain rocketing up his spine from the doorknob hitting him in the small of his back, giving Kai's tongue the chance to explore the others mouth. And explore it did, triggering Tala's gag-reflex.
He tried to push the bigger man off him but couldn't. He couldn't go through this again. He just couldn't. He tried again but just wasn't strong enough to push Kai off himself. Unless…
Tala bit down sharply. Kai pulled away and growled at the redhead before slapping him. Tala's head snapped sideways, his the side of his face hitting the door. The redhead hissed in pain and shut his eyes. Why had he done that? Now it would only be worse for him.
Kai ran his hands through others hair, relishing the feeling of each strand of hair as it ran through his fingers. He suddenly gripped Tala's hair painfully tightly and slammed his head back into the door.
"Never do that again. I think you forget my dear-" At this he pressed himself fully against the other, making Tala whimper in fear and pain. "I own you. If it weren't for me, you and your idiot boyfriend would be on the streets. Face it. I pay you like the whore you are – start acting like it."
Tala looked at his capture with pleading eyes. "Please don't." He asked, his voice quavering. He hated that he had sunk to this level. He hated that he had resorted to begging this man to stop.
Kai smirked. "Please don't what? Fire you? That's easy. Do what I pay you to do. If not, I'm sure that Bryan wouldn't mind giving up on his degree. You'd have to tell him why though. You'd have to tell him the truth. Do you want to do that?"
Tala shut his eyes. Kai spoke the truth. He couldn't do that to Bryan, he just couldn't. He had to do this. Even if it meant sacrificing his dignity and self-respect. At least Bryan would be happy.
He tentatively wrapped his arms around the other's waist. He tried to avoid contact as much as possible before realizing the futility of it. He was going to have to touch a lot more than Kai's fully clothed waist before the night was out.
This wasn't the first time that Kai had pulled Tala into his office. It wasn't even the twenty-first time it had happened. In the past six months he had been taken into the hated room five times a week. In his career as a bar tender he had spent about an hour actually behind the bar in total. He hadn't served a single drink to anyone. Kai had always prevented him from doing what his job description said, instead classing Tala as his personal whore. This was the first time that Tala had made a move of his own accord.
Kai's eyes widened at the arms around his waist. "Wow, you do love him don't you?" He smirked at this newfound weakness. "Wouldn't it be terrible if dear Bryan found out about this." He had never found a problem in Tala's unwillingness to participate in his games – he was just interested in finding out what it would feel like if Tala's involvement were voluntary.
Tala bit his lip. He knew that Kai was blackmailing him. He knew this and yet he couldn't let his love find out how low he had sunk. Bryan would hate him. But no matter how much Bryan would hate him Tala would always hate himself that much more. "What do I have to do?"
The larger man's eyes glinted lustfully as he ran them up and down the other's body. "Simple, really." He kissed Tala's neck softly and smirked when he heard a sharp intake of breath come from the other. "Join in."
Tala swallowed the terrible lump in his throat and nodded. He hated himself for that one action. How low had he sunk? He knew that this counted as cheating on Bryan but he didn't care. This was better than the alternative.
Kai left Tala's neck and travelled up to give Tala a searing kiss on his lips. This time, instead of having to be forced, the redhead opened his mouth willingly, allowing Kai entry. He hated the terrible pleasure that Kai gave him and yet he couldn't stop it.
Kai wrapped his arms around Tala's frame and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. This was much more preferable to an unwilling participant. He moaned into the kiss as he felt Tala's tongue begin to spar with his own. Yes, this was much more enjoyable.
Tala tried to stop the thoughts of pure hatred for himself, for Kai and for the world from running through his brain. He couldn't though and so switched off, allowing his body to run on pure instinct.
------
Tala woke when the alarm on his watch went off, signalling that his shift at the bar was over. The memories of the previous hours washed over him in one terrible wave, making him retch in horror. What had he done?
He heard a groan come from the warm body beside him and started, trying to wiggle away from the alien feel of the other man. Kai threw and arm across Tala's waist in a gesture so like Bryan's that it made tears spring to Tala's eyes.
Tala stood up shakily, waves of guilt washing over him. How could he have done that to Bryan? He could he have done that to himself? That didn't matter. What did matter was what he was going to do now. Kai was waking up having lost the warmth that Tala's body had provided.
Tala pulled on his clothes and slipped out of the office door hurriedly. He couldn't afford for Kai to wake up. He couldn't face his employer after what he'd done. He could barely face himself.
"Hard day at work?" Tyson asked him snidely as he prepared to leave. "Sounded like it. Why can't you and your boyfriend keep it outside of office hours? Why can't you help me out here instead of spending your time screwing him?"
Tala opened his mouth to reply but closed it again, ashamed. Tyson may have the finer details of his relationship with Kai wrong but he had the main part right.
Tyson rolled his eyes in frustration. "Whatever." He said disgustedly before turning on his heel and walking out the door.
Tala followed the other man and headed toward the bus stop, his hands deep in the pockets of his pants. Why had he done it? Why had he betrayed Bryan like that?
We need the money, the traitorous voice inside his head reminded him. Was that how far he had sunk? To do that with Kai for money? It made him sick to even think about it.
The bus pulled up and Tala stepped on board and paid the driver. Thankfully it was a different person than yesterday. Even with the pay rise that he had received today he still couldn't afford to waste money.
Tala walked down the aisle and sat gingerly in a seat near the back of the bus. He slumped against the back of the seat and sighed. He felt so… cheap. He had been blackmailed and bought by Kai. He could never let Bryan know.
Bryan… Tala shut his eyes and his lips tightly to stop the cry of despair that wanted to escape him. Bryan would never have thought of doing something like that. It would never cross his mind. That was why Tala loved him so much. What would happen if he knew? What would happen if Kai told him?
That could never happen. Tala would make sure of it. If he had to go back to that Godforsaken workplace and be with Kai everyday for the rest of his life so be it. Bryan could never know.
But wasn't that betraying him more so than Tala had done that night?
Tala put his head in his hands. Why did life have to be so confusing?
The bus pulled up at his stop and Tala stood up clumsily. He felt like a lead weight was strapped to each of his hands and feet like balls and chains. He got off the bus and walked up to the front door. He opened it quietly, hoping that for once Bryan had gone to bed.
No such luck. As soon as Tala stepped inside the light flicked on. Tala blinked in the unwanted brightness before his eyes adjusted.
Bryan smiled softly at the other boy and crossed the room to embrace him tightly. Tala quickly returned the gesture, closing his eyes and clinging to Bryan like his lifeline. "I missed you", he murmured in his lavender haired love's ear.
"Me too. " Bryan said quietly. He took Tala's head in his hands and kissed him gently.
One of his hands brushed the large lump on Tala's head from when Kai had pushed him into the door. Tala's eyes shot open and he gasped at the pain.
Bryan frowned in concern. "What's wrong? What happened?"
Tala embraced Bryan tightly, pressing his ear against the other's chest to hear his steady, reassuring heartbeat. "Nothing."
He could never know.
Ah... bus depression. Anyway Please Tell me what you think! And Don't kill me for making Kai evil