Forbidden
A Kingdom Hearts Fanfic
Chapter Twelve
Riku was quiet as he listened to the clanking silverware and the sharp, piercing echo that produced. Right here he felt very out of place and different. Sitting to the left of him was Cloud, who also seemed to adjust to the silence like he had, and his wife. He couldn't exactly remember her name at the moment even if Cloud always talked about her at work, but he figured it wouldn't matter so much. To the right was their mother, or more like Sora and his sister's mother.
It was insisted by Cloud that he should come over to dinner, which he figured was because he wanted to explain the whole mess of things that had just happened earlier that day. Truthfully, he wanted to say no; he always felt like he was diving too deep, getting too close. He hated this feeling of constant anxiety around people, and being in their own home somehow made it worse.
"So," Cloud's wife began, settling her fork down and looking to Riku with a soft smile. For the first time he really noticed how pretty she was, and she had a soft, feminine voice too. "You're Riku, am I right?"
"Yeah," he replied calmly, trying not to let his nervousness show. He was ready to start any kind of conversation. Anything to get away from this deafening silence. "Cloud talks a lot about you. You're going to have a baby soon, right?"
"Yeah!" Both she and Cloud said. Now he was a part of the conversation too, looking excited with just the idea alone. Riku smile at the idea; he must've been proud to be having a son or a daughter. He didn't look like the type that would abandon his kids at all.
"About six months now, right Aerith?" Aerith. That was her name. But this time it was the strict, almost harsh voice of their mother that spoke. She looked like she was a young woman that had lost her life quickly; she had heavy wrinkles on her textured skin and sagging back under her eyes. They looked about the same age, but still, she looked nothing like Riku's own mother, who had always been a beautiful woman. Though he suspected she might have some gray hairs now. "Cloud, you must work hard to get a decent home away from this smog. It's unhealthy for my daughter and the baby."
Cloud obviously frowned, but even then he tried his best to hide it from her, which looked like an awkward site. Riku guessed that neither of them were on close terms, or that perhaps she was the nagging type that some people just couldn't get used to. "Don't worry, Mom. We'll be able to move into a good house next year. Promise."
"The country is a nice place," she said. It was more like she told him. "You would have a lot of land and good whether there."
"Right, right . . ."
Despite not having a great impression of her, as he had always been hated to be told what to do, he agreed with their mother fully. The country was better; the air was cleaner. The memory of saying that to Sora once had brought the young boy's face in his mind and he gritted his teeth a little, angry. Aerith was the first to notice.
"Riku, is something wrong?" she asked. He suddenly felt calmer, but not necessarily settled. She was a lot like her little brother in many ways, including that tranquil inducing effect they had just by speaking.
"It's nothing," he replied, trying to go back to his food. But his mind started drifting again back to Sora, only this time it wasn't such a terrible feeling. "I was thinking of Sora . . . and back at the church . . ."
When he heard no reply, Riku looked up to find all three of them with the same panicked expression on their faces, Cloud with an even more alarmed one in particular. At first for some reason, he thought nothing of it, like what was going on hadn't really registered with him.
'Right, touchy subject,' he thought. But something was a little different. 'Cloud and Aerith look nervous . . . but why is their mom staring at me like that?'
She continued to stare at him in a way that was different from the other two; it was the same one his parents gave him afterwards, the same one his friends at school gave him afterwards. That piercing, cold stare that made him want to kill her just so she wouldn't look at him like that anymore. What did she know about him? What right did she have to look at him that way, like he was a freak?
'But I guess I am one, if I really think about it,' he concluded, giving in and averting his eyes. But still, she didn't know about that.
Abruptly their mother stood, rushedly picking up plates and silverware from the table. Cloud and Aerith just watched, not exactly sure what to do. She looked agitated, flustered about something. Riku opened his mouth to question but her voice game first, strong and cold.
"You're one of his boyfriends, aren't you?" Riku stared at her in disbelief. She glared. "Thinking of him when he's not even around! God forbid, what else would you be? Disgusting! I told him not to let those boys come into our home!"
"Mom," Cloud started, standing up a little bit. He was going to be Riku's voice for now, since he couldn't exactly find his at the moment. "Mom, Riku's a friend from work. He just knows Sora because he comes to the post office after school. He isn't like that, I swear."
"Isn't like what?" Riku asked sharply. He actually knew the answer, but he just wanted someone to say it out loud and confirm it for him. They all decided to ignore him.
"Then what's he doing here, thinking of him of all things?"
Riku looked to Cloud who was struggling to find an answer. He decided he should really say something now. "I- I meant that I was hoping he was okay. I mean, Cloud said he fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. I was wondering if he was okay, since he's sort of become like a little brother to me . . ."
'Liar,' he thought as he spoke, the words slipping out of his mouth. 'You hate Sora. What kind of kid causes so many problems for one guy who already has enough on his shoulders!'
Even though he wasn't sure of his words he made sure to stand tall and make perfect, solid eye contact. At first it seemed like she didn't believe him, but soon she heaved a heavy sigh and started putting the plates back down on the table again. "I see. I'm sorry you had to learn about something so shameful in this family."
"Something shameful indeed," Riku muttered. Not that he could talk. But at least he was in love with a girl.
"Mom, I'd like to excuse myself," Cloud said politely, though there was a hint of distaste in there. Aerith did the same thing, only she sounded much kinder. "Riku, do you want to come with us?"
"Sure." He didn't want to be with that annoying bat any longer; they may have agreed on several things, but that didn't mean he had to like her.
Riku followed both of them up a narrow flight of stairs right in front of the entrance of the house. There were a few doors at the top, and Riku followed as Aerith and Cloud both chose the door that was the furthest from them. Obviously their room with a bed that took up half the room and all of those baby gifts.
Cloud and Aerith sat down on the edge of the bed, and while Aerith did pat the spot next to her, Riku promptly refused and opted for sitting in a small chair. 'Who knows what they've done on that bed.'
"Anyway," she started, a sort of sympathetic smile on her face. "I guess you didn't know Sora liked boys."
"I didn't know he was a cutter either," he mentioned on top of that, disturbing her a little. Out of nowhere memories of when Riku first met Cloud at the post office came up, and he remembered how cautious he was around him. Now he knew why. "Why did all of you freak out when I mentioned Sora? I guess I can understand your mom, but Cloud knows I'm not gay."
Aerith giggled as if someone told a funny joke. He found nothing funny about the situation in the least. "Truthfully . . . I was thinking the same thing as Mom. But I guess we were both wrong."
"Good thing, too," Cloud said. Riku couldn't exactly tell if he was being sarcastic or not by the seriousness of his voice, but he didn't think he was. He just didn't seem the type to make fun of something like this. "I was scared you were going to mention about Sora cutting himself earlier today."
Aerith looked to her husband and gasped, giving him the same face she had given Riku earlier. To Riku, she didn't seem surprised in the least; it was more like she was upset. Cloud continued and looked directly at his guest, saying the situation bluntly. "Listen: Mom has no idea Sora cuts himself."
"And how many times has he done this before?" Riku frowned. With the way he talked about it, it sounded like Sora did this on a regular basis. But that made sense somehow. "That's why you got so nervous when Sora went in the church . . ."
Cloud leaned back on his arms, his back against the mattress and his eyes towards the ceiling. "Anyway . . . he's got a lot of problems; don't blame him for all of this."
Riku didn't really understand. He shifted in his chair uncomfortably a bit, remembering his whole issue with diving too deep into other people's lives. This was definitely getting deeper than deep. "Wh . . . What kinds of problems? What else would make him do that all the time? And his brother- yours too-" he said as he looked to Aerith, "- has been dead for six years. What could possibly happen to make him keep it up for that long?"
Aerith spoke. She looked upset again, and her fingers in her lap played with each other almost awkwardly. "It just started after Leon died. Leon used to cut himself too, before he . . . committed suicide. He didn't want anyone to know, and Sora was so young that he couldn't understand, so Leon would ask him to go get the knives for him when others weren't looking, or he wouldn't mind Sora being around when he did it."
"Wow," Riku said out loud, outwardly unaffected but on the inside uneasy. "Your brother was an asshole."
They both decided to ignore that, and Aerith continued to tell the story. "It started after that, and Cloud caught him right away, but . . . he just won't stop. And he's scared to death to tell Mom, because she already can't stand him enough. She doesn't like Leon for bringing shame onto the family, and to her Sora's already a bad son. There's that, and because he likes boys . . . he doesn't exactly get favored attention at school."
"So he's bullied," Riku said frankly, earning a nod in response. He wasn't sure while listening, but now that he was sure she was done, he could feel anything; almost empty. But at the same time, he wondered how Sora kept on smiling when he carried so much on his shoulders at the same time. 'His brother's dead, he's gay, and he's bullied for it. He really does have it worse than me.'
For a while none of them knew what to say. Riku didn't feel like asking any more questions, or getting any more personal than he already was. He made sure not to look like he was scared of knowing everything; he kept his face as much of a blank slate as possible.
Riku stood up after a few moments, stretching a little bit to relieve his tense muscles. The sound of the chair he was sitting on squeaking finally broke the silence among them and the other two looked to him. He smiled; part of it actually felt real.
"I'm gonna go home now," he said. They both said a small goodbye, and Cloud even offered to drive him home but Riku said it was okay. He felt like he really needed to be alone, to have some time to breathe that dirty city air and think for a bit.
When he walked into the hallway and was ready to go down the stairs he heard a door creaking open and a few small footsteps. He looked over to see Sora standing there, pajama shorts and a very long T-shirt; the sleeves seemed to be for hiding his scars.
"You leaving?" Sora said, as if he knew that Riku while there the whole time he was asleep. He must have just woken up, with the way he rubbed his eyes.
"Yeah," Riku replied simply. He turned to look towards the stairs and went down, waving a hand as a quick goodbye. "Hope you feel better. See you tommorow."
"Tommorow?" Sora repeated. He was confused for a moment. What tommorow? Then he remembered. "Oh yeah . . . paper route."
X x x x x
Kage-chan- Thanks! I hope this chapter sort of answers your question. It's sort of like how a child is influenced by what an adult does- he saw Leon cut, and along with the guilt and pressure from his family he went to cutting to make him feel better. He doesn't really cut anymore because of Leon, though- it's just a habit he can't get out of now. XD Yeay for drama!
LiLi-Sama- Yes! T.T Poor Sora indeed.
SimpleNClean92- Ummm . . . yeah? Sorry I don't update so much, but I'm glad you like my story. School is getting very hectic right now since it's end of theyear testing, plus I have three other fanfics to update. XD
MeiHikari- lol! XD I'm happy you like this! I didn't feel it was so much of a cliffhanger, but I agree with what you say about them!
akuma-river- Yeah, that's sort of the idea idea. T.T Sora and Riku are going to find a true friend in each other, one that'll learn to listen and help each other while Kairi has no one. XD So far, while Riku's gotten slowly better Kairi's gotten steadily worse. Noooo! T.T I feel so bad for her. I hope I'll be able to pull this off correctly!
varda101- Oh, thanks so much:D I'm honored you think it's original. I'm trying my best!
Sky-Pirate-Tat- Wow . . . Gosh, what a compliment! I really hope I'll be able to live up to that too. I actually don't know anyone who cuts or has situations like these, so actually I was afriad myself that I wouldn't be able to pull it off. So far you've been very encouraging, and I'm glad I'm able to do this! Like said, I hope this sort of idea lives on in future chapters. XD The chapter between Sora and Cloud is actually my favorite. Lol!