Sara's mind was reeling as she stood in the parking lot and watched Greg's car drive away. Greg had always joked around with her, how could he have been feeling this way all that time? She had always been a little awkward around guys he liked. Maybe she had just imagined it, but then again, why would Greg leave without saying goodbye? Slowly, she turned and walked, rubbing her temples, back into the building. Then she remembered! She had left Greg's book on the table… Open.
Nick and Warrick knew he HAD the book, but what if they read that letter? She didn't want to think about it. She started to move faster, until soon she was running, she wove through the hallways back to the break room, she opened the door and stopped to catch her breath, and when she looked up, the book was still sitting open on the table. Nick and Warrick were seated across the table, with no indication that they had actually touched it.
Quietly, she seated herself before the book, the seat was still warm from before, she realised then that she had not imagined it, she really had read those words Greg had worked so hard to censor. Slowly, so as not to draw attention to herself, she closed the notebook and walked over to the carefully selected hiding place, and, slipping it between the papers, let out a sigh of relief. She moved toward the cupboards and pulled out the M&Ms she had forgotten before. She laid them on the counter near the coffee maker, and poured herself a steaming mug. She looked curiously at Nick, who was still smirking as he read the funny pages from that day's paper, and at Warrick, who was looking straight at her.
She was surprised that Warrick was looking so closely at her, and that he had said nothing, normally he greeted her warmly, sometimes with a hug, but today the vibe seemed different. "S'okay Sara" said Nick, breaking his silence, " 'rick is still a little shocked by that book of Gregs…" He smirked. "Yeah, we read it. What, you didn't notice that the page was turned? Man Sara, for a CSI, you sure miss a lot." Sara blushed. She couldn't believe it, she had let poor Greg down twice today, once by reading his private book, and twice by accidentally letting Nick and Warrick do the same. Warrick shook his head, as if to jog his memory, "Sorry Sara, but Greg never let us see anything but those first few pages, when we saw that letter thing, we had to read it. It was our choice, and totally not your fault."
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Sara suddenly found herself back on her couch, the TV still on. She turned it off, it was too distracting. For the first time in ages, she simply couldn't lose herself in her favourite crime show. She was so confused about Greg, she wondered about one statement he had made, about wondering if she felt the same way. Before, she had dismissed the possibility, but now, she was left wondering. She HAD spent an awful lot of time in Greg's lab then, sometimes when she didn't expect results, had she simply been eager to see him? They had had a lot of fun on those days. But she couldn't wrap her mind around it, how could she, Sara Sidle, have feelings for Greg Sanders? He was so much younger, and so immature.
She got up to clear her head and walked into her kitchen, she opened a cupboard and pulled out a takeout menu, but she couldn't decide on a meal, but she needed something to take her mind off Greg. She walked over to her fridge and opened it, maybe a cold drink would help. Inside her fridge were three bottles of Gatorade Ice, orange of course, and six cans of Red Bull, Gregs drink of choice from earlier that evening. She grabbed a bottle of Gatorade and slammed the fridge door, why did everything have to remind her of the decision she was faced with? She sat down at her battered kitchen table, opened her drink, and took a swig as her police scanner buzzed with static.
Sara awoke with a start, her phone was ringing. Her Gatorade was warming on the table, and her scanner was still buzzing, albeit more quietly then she remembered. She jogged into the living room and picked up the receiver of her cordless phone. "Sidle" She answered groggily. "Hi, Sara? It's Catherine, Nick told me he was worried about you, apparently you found Gregs book." "Yeah, I did, but it's no big deal" Sara lied, "I'd forgotten about it completely." "Sure you did Sara" said Catherine, sounding sceptical, "anyway, Sara, look, it's 2:00 in the afternoon, and if I'm not mistaken, you've probably spent all morning listening to that damn scanner" Sara rolled her eyes, was she really this predictable? "So Miss Sidle, I want you to get out of your house for a while, come on, I'll buy you lunch. I'll be there in 30 minutes, bye!" "But Cath…" Sara started, but it was too late, Catherine had already hung up. Shoot, now she'd have to go out, this was the last thing she needed; first Nick, now Catherine, next Grissom would be teasing her about that damned book.
Sara sat thinking for a few minutes, maybe she should totally avoid the subject of the notebook when Catherine arrived, but knowing Cath, she would probably keep going until eventually she would have to discuss the sensitive subject. "I'll show Catherine" Sara thought, as she jogged to her bedroom, "I'll get dressed up more nicely then usual, maybe even a little makeup, that'll show Cath that I'm not thinking about that book." She went through her wardrobe, until she found the perfect outfit, her favourite black skirt, a black T-shirt and a dark denim jacket, "there we go" she thought, "black and mysterious, that's me." She went over to her bathroom, and pulled out the makeup she owned, not much, but enough to make herself look nice. She pulled out a little bottle of liquid eyeliner that Cath had given her on her birthday, and slowly contoured her eyes, just at that moment, the doorbell rang, "shit, Cath's here already, better get going" she stopped, screwed on the lid of the bottle, and put it away.
Catherine waited outside Saras door, she wondered what was taking Sara so long to answer, she could hear her inside, it sounded like she was rushing around, and the dull buzz of the police scanner gave her away, Catherine had been right. She must have been listening to it all morning. All of a sudden, Sara threw open the door, she was panting, Catherine looked her over, taking in her clothing and the traces of makeup. "Well Cath? Ready to go?" Sara asked, Catherine could tell she was pretending to be excited. "Come on Sar', let's get going, where shall we go? Your choice, IHOP, or should we just get a coffee at Starbucks?" "Wow Cath, um, I'm pretty hungry, is IHOP ok?", "Sure Sara, your choice, let's go."
They walked the three flights of stairs to the car park in silence, but it wasn't an awkward silence, they didn't need to talk. When they got to Catherines car, Sara climbed into the passenger seat. Catherine Started the car and they drove the 10 or so minutes to the nearest IHOP. Once they arrived, they were seated by a chipper little waitress who was so happy looking she didn't even seem real.
When they sat down, Sara spoke for the first time since they had left her apartment. "You know Cath, you didn't need to do all this, I'm okay, really." Catherine rolled her eyes, "Yeah, you're okay, that's why you're wearing the outfit Greg wrote about in that first entry. You aren't thinking about that book at all. You know, that's the problem with you Sara, you pretend you don't think about things, but you do, just give up the act Sara, how do you really feel?"
Sara sighed, at that moment their waitress appeared, "ready to order ladies?" "Um, blueberry pancakes and a coffee please." Said Sara, "Cath, what about you?" "Ooh, it all looks so good, um, you know what? I'll have the same, thanks." The waitress swept off, and Sara looked up at Catherine, "Look Cath, when I found that book, I wasn't sure what to think, I'm still not sure, and I need some time to be sure. But mostly, I need to see Greg tonight, I think that may help me decide what to do. But for now I can't give you a straight answer. I don't know how I feel about Greg, but I had some thoughts last night that I need to clear up, so let's just have lunch, and talk about something else." "Okay Sara." Catherine said, looking like she didn't quite believe her, "but when you're ready to talk, I'm here." "Thanks Cath, I appreciate that, look, here comes our food!"
The two ate in silence, with occasional mutterings of "MMM" or "this is great", once they were finished, Sara reached for her wallet, but Catherine waved it away, "I said I'd buy you lunch, so I'm paying, NOT you." There was a sort of finality in the way she said it, Sara knew there was no way she was going to win this argument. Catherine paid the bill, and drove Sara home, "bye Sara, see you tonight, do me a favour, and think about what I said. It'll do you good." "I promise Cath, thanks, really, I'll think about it, trust me, I have been thinking about it. I won't stop." And then, in her head "I couldn't stop if I tried."