Next Scene

That night as he was leaving dinner, Fred grabbed Georges arm + pulled him into a linen closet.

George looking rather alarmed: "Hey mate, you know I like you as a mate but I don't think Grace would approve of anything more.."

Fred: "Oh don't be ridiculous George. There's nowhere else to talk! you see, I've been thinking.."

George: "Well that's dangerous for a start, you'd better have a drink!"

Fred: "Will you shut up + let me finish? receiving a nod from George, he carried on

Well, as I was saying, I've been thinking - everybody has been a little too serious recently and could do with something to cheer them up and, as its Halloween tomorrow, I thought we'd play a long-awaited and sorely needed practical joke on our favourite horse-rider Mrs.D."

George: "OOOH I'm intrigued, tell me more….."

Next Scene

Its just after dinner on Halloween, which had been its usual affair and Mrs. Diggins is feeling decidedly undernourished as after Mr. Krauses departure meals had been rapidly reduced to only 3 courses and were somewhat smaller, so after waiting for the other members of staff to leave Mrs D grabbed some leftover Victoria sponge and decided to make a dash for her room before anyone saw her with the food. However as she was striding down the corridor she saw, on the windowsill, a plate of cookies, looking around briefly to check that no one was coming she quickly popped one into her mouth and a couple in her pocket + carried on walking to her room but before she could get there she spied yet another plate of buns and a candle burning brightly in an old room on her right. Intrigued she followed her stomach and went into the room to see what was going on. Once in the room, she realised that it was Mr. Jarvises office

Hiding in the darkness in the corridor opposite the room, Fred and George were waiting for her, and pulling on a piece of string they released their practical joke into the office

Next Scene

After dinner Jarvis is walking along to the corridor in desperate need of a brandy, when he hears a piercing scream coming from within his office. Panicking and thinking something had happened to Flora he wheeled around and hurtled off towards the sound of the cry.

Dashing in, prepared to protect his love from whatever evil which had now befallen her he was astounded to see that it wasn't Flora in desperate need but actually Mrs.Diggins, who was standing on top of his desk on her tiptoes, wrapping her skirts and petticoats around her, screaming at the top of her lungs with her eyes shut and flapping her arms around manically.

Jarvis somewhat surprised and curious as to whether the maid was about to go crazy just like her lady: "Mrs. Diggins, What the hell are you doing on my desk?"

Mrs. D: opening her eyes, and stopping screaming "Oh, Mr. Jarvis, I'm so glad you're here"

Jarvis: Interrupting "Well, as its my office and your screaming could have been heard in Bristol, is it not surprising that I'm here?"

By now, most of the footmen (including the two pranksters), a few curious maids, and Flora had arrived to see who had been screaming, and were watching the situation whilst simultaneously trying to hide their smiles

Flora: stepping forward with a hint of amusment in her voice "Mrs. Diggins are you quite alright?"

Mrs.D: "No actually Mrs. Ryan, I am quite distressed"

Flora: "Why on earth for?"

Mrs.D: "Theres a rat in this office. Ahhhhh, there it is again" pointing to where there was, quite plainly a big rat brown rat, sitting, washing its whiskers by the fireplace. Screaming, and dashing behind Jarvis for protection, Flora thrust him towards the rat as if he might be able to catch it singled handidly, which, surprisingly enough didn't happen as Jarvis looked just as scared as the 2 women did. The rat looked up at the pair and, for some ungodly reason, ran straight for them. Taking no chances, Flora hitched up her skirts and joined Mrs. D on the table as Jarvis made a run for the door

Jarvis: turning and in a pleading voice, as he was fearing for his desk which was now beginning to strain under the weight "Mrs.Ryan, come down…please!"

Flora: "I will not! I will not tolerate rats in this house Mr.Jarvis and I will not come down until it is caught!"

Mrs.D was nodding behind her, in complete agreement

Jarvis: "Now there, why don't you just both calm down and get off the table – the rat's gone now, it won't come back."

Flora: "Too damn right it isn't going to come back because you're going to kill it. As long as its alive and in this room then I will stay on this desk – even if its means that I'm up here ALL NIGHT Mr. Jarvis! And that's ALL NIGHT! I don't care how longs it takes!"

Jarvis turning pale as he finally grasped Floras hidden threat, turned to the crowd and in a somewhat high pitched voice said "Right then, you heard her, no one is to go to the Halloween party until that rat is found and killed! Come on, chop chop!"

the bemused faces of the lower servants turned to annoyance as they realised their new task. 2 hours later, after much deliberation, crawling along the floor, encouragement from the 2 women atop the desk and Mr. Kraus's finest cheese there finally came a snap as the unfortunate rat became ensnared in the trap

Jarvis: breathing a sigh of relief and getting up from his easy chair from where he'd been writing in his big book and watching the situation whilst trying not to laugh "well done! Finally, will u get down now Mrs.Ryan? "reaching out his arms to help her from the desk

Flora: smiling at him "Of course! almost falling into his arms, she allowed him to swing her of the table and onto the floor However, in the morning, im sending Johnny to the village for a cat – as I said before I will not tolerate rats in this house, and if I find more then someone will have to pay the price!"

Jarvis: turning pale again, whilst the lower servants behind them try and hide their sniggers "well I'm sure there'll be no need for that once the cat's here!"

Smiling at him, Flora turns to leave and Jarvis follows her but were abruptly stopped by a loud hurumph from the desk

Mrs.D: "Is someone not going to help me down Mr.Jarvis?"

Jarvis: "Of course Mrs.Diggins, forgive me – George, Fred, are you forgetting your manners? help Mrs. Diggins down at once!"

George and Fred reluctantly got up from their resting places on the floor and went to help Mrs. Diggins, both feeling that this was their punishment and fearing for their backs if she should wish to be swung down like Mrs.Ryan. However, before they could get there, there came an ominous creaking from the desk as it finally gave way and the valiantly battling table legs surrendered to the mammoth weight that it had had to bear for the last few hours. The table legs buckled and Mrs.Diggins disappeared, squawking amongst a pile of dust and wood, her legs sticking up in the air. Unable to hide their laughter any longer Flora and Mr.Jarvis both escaped out of the room, and whilst crying tears of laughter strode down the corridor together leaving Fred, George and the other poor unfortunate souls trapped in the office to deal with Mrs.Diggins

End Scene

PART 1

Next Scene

It is early the next morning and all the servants are making their way from church

Flora: stopping and causing Grace to walk in to her "Oh dear"

Jarvis: "What is it? What wrong?"

Flora: "I've just realised something"

Jarvis: "What?"

Flora: "Well, its Sunday today"

Jarvis: somewhat impatiently "Yes I know, that's why we've been to church"

Flora: "Don't be sarcastic Mr. Jarvis, my point was, that we'd be unable to send Johnny into the town for a cat as there will be nowhere open."

Jarvis: "Oh you're not still worrying about that are you? There is absolutely no need to get a cat – whatever would Mr. Kraus say?"

Flora: "Mr. Kraus would understand that I do not want rats in the house to spread disease and germs!"

By now the servants walking behind them were trying not to giggle too loudly at the lovebirds argument, but before Jarvis could reply there came a strange whining noise from above. Everyone stopped and looked up at the tree, for there, a little puppy had somehow managed to climb up the tree and was now stuck

PART 2

Grace: "Oh the poor thing, cant u get it down Mr. Jarvis?"

Jarvis: "I'm not going up there! Mr. Matkin, Mr. Cosmo, you're always monkeying around I think this job is right up your tree!" laughing at the groans from around him at his awful joke

However, as Fred and George started climbing up the tree which began to sway dangerously there came a cracking sound and the thin branch where the puppy was perilously perched began to crack. The branch broke and the puppy, by a stoke of luck or extreme skill, managed to land safely on the branch below right next to Freds outstretched hand. Unfortunately though, this scared the poor thing somewhat and it backed away from him, sliding off the tree and landing on Mrs. Diggings very ample bosom directly below. However, as this slid downwards, the poor puppy began its final descent and landed on the floor

both rushing over, whilst the rest of the servants were splitting there sides with silent laughter at Mrs. Digginses unbelievable stokes of bad luck in the past 24 hours

Jarvis: trying to calm down the screeching Mrs.D, whilst Flora bends over to pick up the puppy "Mrs. Diggins are you alright?"

Mrs. D: hyperventilating "No I'm not! Why do these things keep happening to me? All these animals! Oh, I think I'm going to have a heart attack! Oh dear oh dear!"

Jarvis: "Try and calm down Mrs. Diggins" turning to the lower servants "Lizzie, Grace – will you take Mrs Diggins back to the house and make her a cup of sweet tea please"

Grace/Lizzie: with their faces full of dread "Yes Mr. Jarvis"

and they gently took the maid by her elbows and whispering words of encouragement lead her gently off to the house. By now, everyone had forgotten the two footmen stuck in the tree, but all attention were brought back to them as the branch Fred was on gave way and George lost his footing and they both fell out of the tree in to the pond next to it. By now the servants were paralysed with laughter, including Mr. Jarvis and Flora who had had to hold their laughter until Mrs. Diggins was safely lead of to the house

Flora: giggliling madly whilst still holding on to the puppy in one arm and onto Jarvis for support with the other "Oh I cant breath, I cant breath!"

Jarvis: laughing loudly but trying to get a hold on himself and his hysterical servants "Neither can I! Oh dear" taking a deep breath and addressing the servants "Right then! Shows over, come on, back to the house theres work to do! Mr. Matkin, Mr. Cosmo – get out of the pond + if u even try and get anyone wet you'll have to wash there clothes aswell as your own."

PART 3

with that they all carried on walking to the house, but with shouts of laughter, suppressed giggles and sniggers all the way. It was not until they'd entered the courtyard that Jarvis realised that Flora was still carrying the puppy

Jarvis: stopping her in her tracks "right, stop right there Mrs. Ryan"

the lower servants walked past, not wanting to miss more entertainment but having no choice

Will: whispering to Joe "Who do reckon will win this one then? 1 shilling says its Mrs. Ryan and she gets to keep the puppy"

Joe: "Rite then mate – you're on!"

and they all trooped into the house. Back in the courtyard..

Jarvis: "Flora, what are you doing with that puppy?"

Flora: thinking "uhoh hes noticed already" fluttering her eyelids and smiling seductively at him "Ooohhh, can I keep him please Walter? He soooo sweet and hes cut his little paw. He needs someone to look after him and I can train him to kill rats and you said you didn't want a cat…"

Jarvis: knowing that he can never refuse her anything when she looks at him like that, but desperately trying tp anyway "Nope, no way absolutely not!"

Flora: slowly getting closer and closer to him "Please Walter it would make me ever so happy, he'll be no trouble. Id be ever so grateful and I would defiantly make it worth your while…."

Jarvis knowing he'd lost, but still trying to maintain the appearance that he was in control of the decision and wondering just how shed make it worth his while this time "well, maybe it would be a good idea to have a dog around…."

Flora: realising shed won and about to pitch the concluding argument "Oh yes and id defiantly feel safer with a dog, and now, to make it worth your while…" she leaned forward and whispered in his ear about just how grateful she was, she then kissed him quickly on the lips and disappeared into the house to look after her new charge

PART 4

Standing in the courtyard fantasizing about the night with Flora which was to come, Jarvis suddenly remembered hed forgotten to ask her. However, before he could reach her the Earls bell rang and he was detained looking after the Earl all morning and afternoon so it was not until after dinner when they were in her office, sat down in front of the fire that he could get a chance to speak to her in private

Jarvis: "So then"

Flora: Looking up from stroking the contented puppy sitting on her lap "Yes?"

Jarvis: Gesturing to the puppy "Well that thing, what is it?"

Flora: "It's a dog Walter, a puppy, a baby dog - you know, one that's very young"

Jarvis: "Oh now whos being sarcastic! You know what I meant! What breed is it?"

Flora: "Oh I don't know, I hadn't thought of that. I'll pop and borrow a book out of the Earls library, Il be back in a few minutes, look after Horace will you?" and she stood up and before he could stop her, placed the puppy on his lap, kissed his bald spot and left the room

10 minutes later she returned bearing a huge leather bound book with information on different dog breeds in it. Sitting down with the puppy returned to her lap and leafing though the pages she came across the breed the puppy belonged to, trying not to gasp out loud she quickly read the vital statistics:

Breed:Newfoundland

Lifspan:9-15yrs

Height:71cm

Weight: 69kg

General Character And Temperament
Newfies are very docile, gentle and make great family pets. They have a natural life-saving instinct, which makes them unsuitable to go swimming with, as they would continually try to drag you out of the water. Generally the Newfoundland has a superb temperament and will get on well with both people and other animals. They are very outgoing and live life to the full, said to be one of the friendliest breeds.

Putting the book down "Hmmm, well at least its friendly" she thought, "he must only be a week old! What will I tell Walter?"

PART 5

Jarvis: interrupting her thoughts "well what is it then?"

Flora: thinking that she'll tell him that just eats a lot and that's why hes so big when Walter starts to complain about the size "Errmm, he's a type of terrier, this is probably as big as he'll get" sending up a prayer of forgiveness for her little white lie

Jarvis: "Hmmm, that's alright then, just one question though…"

Flora: sweetly, thinking shed been caught out "Yes darling?"

Jarvis: "Why on earth are you calling it Horace?"

Flora: looking affronted "Whats wrong with that, I like it and its going to stay that way!"

Jarvis: smiling "And you know the Earl wont be allowed to know its here obviously, but as its so small that wont matter"

Flora: gulping and thinking of all the grovelling she was going to have to do when he found out the truth "yes of course, the earl will never know hes here." hoping that was the end of the conversation she settled back into her chair and picked up her book. Unnoticed by her though, Walter had picked up the dog book and as searching through the pages to find out some more about this new dog. Finding the correct page, he started reading, then choking on his brandy he looks up intent on putting his foot down after all, when he sees that she has fallen fast asleep, her arms grasped around the sleeping puppy. Seeing her so content and peacefull for the first time in ages his anger ebbed away and

He decided, once again to let her have her own way, as it would bring her some happiness that she had long needed

End Scene