In the quickly fading light, Remus examined his hand. She had been holding it as they walked around the lake after Dumbledore's funeral. Her hand was so much different than the hand he was used to feeling—hers was smaller and softer.
He watched her vivid pink hair bobbing away as she left to aid the departing students with several other members of the Order. She had kissed him briefly, shyly on the lips before leaving, her cheeks matching her hair. Remus felt his face and realized that he was blushing. How long had it been since he blushed? He smiled in the fading sunlight, as he walked back to Hogwarts.
For a moment it felt as if the constant weight in his chest had lifted. He stopped, midpace, his shoulders hunched suddenly. It felt wrong. Sirius was gone, Dumbledore was gone, it was a sin that the sky should be this bright and the breeze so warm. He shouldn't feel this happy when he knew he'd never hear that barklike laugh or see those piercing blue eyes again. Especially since he had fallen for Sirius's cousin, Sirius's cousin who was practically half his age.
He didn't hear the voice behind him, at least not consciously.
"Honestly, Moony, you worry too much. Do you think I expected you to lock yourself up in a nunnery after I died?"
Sometimes, when he was especially tired or asleep—when his mind was vulnerable—he felt the presence, popping in and out of his life during times of worry or stress. Sirius gently wrapped his arms around Remus and frowned—he hated how he could never quite feel Remus and how his arms sunk through his flesh.
Remus shivered suddenly—the breeze had turned quite cold.
"Sorry about that." Sirius pulled back. "I forgot I do that now."
Remus started walking again, but not towards the castle. Instead, he settled under the tree that he used to study under when he was young, overlooking the lake. Sirius sat next to him, lighter than a falling leaf.
"It's not like I'd completely approve of whoever you chose and I'm a little shocked that it's a woman, I never thought you'd be into that. But, if Tonks makes you happy, and I've seen you and I can read your thoughts now so I know she does, then you should really go for it, you great cradle-robber."
Sirius laughed and looked over at Remus. His arms were wrapped around his legs with his head resting on his knees.
"Seriously," Sirius continued and leaned over so he was looking at Remus's face. "I don't mind. It's ok. You shouldn't think about me at all, I can't do anything for you now. I love you and I'll be waiting for you, even if you don't know it."
Sirius couldn't help it, he leaned over and gently brushed Remus's hair and kissed him on the forehead.
"You'd better be ready for me," he said with a lascivious laugh and was gone, leaving Remus staring at something that he thought was there but was suddenly gone.