The Road Home
Summary: AU; everyone's human. Buffy Summers dodges family and friends to escape her wedding and make it back home, single. But when she returns to L.A., she finds herself stuck with a grumpy, homeless roommate without who, she soon finds, home wouldn't be home at all.
Disclaimer: 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and all associated with it belongs to Mutant Enemy, Fox, Joss Whedon etc. I own squat.

A/N: This chapter was really hard for me to write. Let me know what you think. Thanks in bunches to everyone who reviewed the past chapters!

5. Don't Stand So Close to Me

What do you do when you come home to find a drunken man sleeping, upside down, on your stairs?

Option A: You drop your bags, scream, call the cops, and then faint.

Option B: You drop your bags on the drunk, and then rush to the resident macho man.

Option C: You drop your bags, beat him into consciousness and drag him out of the house to leave him on the sunlit road.

Buffy contemplated all these options when she unlocked her front door and jumped about five feet into the air. When she'd calmed a bit, she stood there, back against the doorframe, regarding the sleeping man and thinking of what she should do.

Option A seemed a wee bit histrionic; she wasn't some delicate lady from the Victorian age that she should faint, after all.

Option B might've been possible but for the fact she knew no macho men. The only one she'd seen, lately, was the driver of the cab that had just dropped her off. However, her talking a mile a minute at 5 in the morning had been a bit too much for him. He hadn't even helped her with her bags; just rushed off, his engine in full throttle, to get away from the crazy blonde.

Conversely, though, she thought as she twirled a curly strand of golden hair between her fingers, Option C was easy and it also seemed oh so . . . tempting.

She wore a tight blouse of white that went halfway down her thigh, showing off not only her perfect curves but also her lightly tanned skin. Plain blue jeans and platform sandals to go perfectly with them. Hair, poker-straight, that went way below her shoulders. She looked amazing, but Xander was unimpressed.

"Yawn, yawn, yawn," He said, rolling his eyes as Anya paraded in front of him. "Way American, way touristy. Can't you try anything new?"

Anya scowled. "Honestly, Xander, I've tried on three outfits and you still aren't happy! Why don't you pick something yourself, hmm? Save both of us a lot of time, you will!"

Xander sighed patronizingly and got off the bed. Taking a hold of her slim shoulders, he said, "Ahn, we're in Paris, France! Fashion capital of the world! Do you really want people to snigger behind your back everywhere you go? Come on, Anya," He spoke encouragingly, like a coach giving a pep talk. "You've got such an amazing body," she rolled her eyes, "anything you put on looks good, but right now, you need something else. Something that'll catch eyes, something like . . ." he reached behind his back, where the vanity was, and without looking opened a drawer. He pulled out a bag and said, ". . . this."

Anya took the bag from him curiously and looked into it. When she saw what it was, she laughed and whacked him on the head with it.

"How much did you waste on this?" She demanded, as he wound a hand around her waist and led her out of the hotel room.

"Oh, not much," he replied. The door closed on a bunny suit, complete with fluffy ears and a tail. "The guy practically gave it to me for free."

She wasn't dressed like a goddess, though. She wore plain jeans teamed with a light green peasant top. Nevertheless, it was her face that caught his attention.

Wide eyes that seemed to jump from green to brown to almost red every second. Full lips that looked as though they'd be extremely soft to touch. Tendrils of wavy golden hair escaped her ponytail to frame her face. The morning light enveloped her like a halo.

However, this once, Will decided he wouldn't be fooled by anyone's looks. So, ignoring his suddenly dry throat, he sat up and regarded her. The cat was licking her nose as she bent to look at it. Darn cat, he thought. Purr louder, I don't think China heard.

"'ello, pet. Needed something?" She looked up. As their eyes met, a wave of . . . something seemed to pass between them. He quickly looked away. Anything to get away from those eyes. He rubbed the back of his head, wincing the soft spot where he'd hit the floor.

She arched a perfectly curved eyebrow. "Well, actually," she said, venturing in, Pontiac nestled in the crook of her left arm. "I do."

"Really, now?" Well, this was odd. The chit seemed to think she could wander in as though she owned the place and . . . hey, how had she got the door to open, anyway? "What is it tha' you need, luv?"

She bent as she approached him, dropping the cat onto the floor and coming to a stop in front of him. Her presence seemed to send his mind into a tumble; he couldn't think straight. So, he didn't notice that the hand she raised as she said, "You, to clear out of my house" had a tennis racket in it.

Of course, when said racket hit the soft spot he'd just been rubbing, he noticed. As he tried to get his vision back, she added, as an afterthought, "Oh, and to stop calling me names."

Buffy gave him a minute to recover, then raised the racket again. Both his hands were on his head, so she didn't worry about them.

What she hadn't counted on was his leg. His leg, and the way it knocked her off her feet with a single sweep. What amazed her even more was that instead of falling backwards, like gravity dictated, she fell forwards, right on top of her black-clad intruder.

He caught her by her upper arms before she could bang her head on the banister. Buffy swallowed, and looked down. His eyes caught hers, and didn't let go. The tennis racket crashed into a glass framed painting, but even through the sound of breaking glass, their eyes remained locked.

That was how Willow found the two blondes a few minutes later, as she jumped over Buffy's luggage in her green bathrobe. Laid out at the bottom of the stairs, gazing into each other's eyes, a hissing cat and broken glass all around them.