1Harry
It's eleven at night and I'm sitting here on my bed, alone in my room, thinking of her. Yes I do this often. Sirius, Remus, and Ron are in the living room talking and having a good time, I was with them until a few minutes ago. When they started about their significant others I told them I was tired. I knew not one of them believed me, but they let me go to bed anyway. So here I am just alone with my thoughts, something I haven't been able to do since Ron came because we share a room, but I don't mind. I love having him around, I just have had a lot on my mind lately.
I look down at my lap and see one of my most prized and secret possessions. It was a photo album, now what might you ask is so secret and special about it? It is a photo album with devoted to her. There is only pictures of her or her and I on every page. I love to look at it, when no one is around of course. I'm in love with her. Her being Hermione Jane Granger or Mia as I and only I call her. I think I'd kill anyone who called her that, but me. I have loved her since the moment I met her.
I slowly thumb through the pages of the album, taking in the beauty that is her throughout the years. I look at how she's grown. She's still the same girl I met first year except now she's taller standing at 5'5, her hair is longer and not bushy, but falls down her back in golden brown curls. Her eyes are still the most magnificent shade of blue I have ever seen. When I look at them I feel as if I am flying in the sky or drowning in the ocean. That's how she makes me feel. Like I'm flying and drowning at the same time. Safe and scared. Like I'm the only person who exists. Like I'm someone, not just famous Harry Potter or The Boy Who Lived, with her I'm just Harry, just her best friend.
Yeah just a friend. That's all I will ever be. She couldn't possibly love me like I love her. I am not worthy of her. She deserves someone a hell of a lot better then me. Someone who will be able to keep her safe and won't put her in danger like I will, even though I know no one in the world will love her as much as I will for the rest of my life.
I continue looking through the pages until I stop at the last one, which happens to be my favorite one. It's a picture of her and me dancing at the Yule ball last year. We smile at the camera and a small creeps onto my face. That was the happiest moment of my life and I'm glad I can relive it through pictures Colin Creevey took. Every time I see this picture it takes my breathe away. Not because of how beautiful she looks, because she looks beautiful all the time, but because I remember how close she was to me as we danced. How her hand fit perfectly in mine. How her head fit perfectly on the crook of my neck. How her body fit perfectly with mine. How it was like she was made for me and only me.
I see the ring I gave her for her fifteenth birthday on her ring finger in the ring picture. It's white gold with a blue topaz heart shaped stone, her birth stone, with diamonds on either side. I remember giving it to her. Her birthday December 13th in the common room. She told me she loved it, hugged me, and then kissed me on the cheek. I can still feel where she kissed me and reach up and touch the exact spot. For my birthday she gave me a black journal with my full name written across the cover in cursive silver letters. I write it in every day. Mostly about her. How much I love her and how much I know I have to let her go.
I feel tears run down my face and I see them fall down on the picture and I wipe them away before I shut the album and put it back under my bed. I sit down at my desk and I start to write a letter to a girl. I look up to see a picture of her I keep on my desk and I start to cry harder. I finish writing the letter and tie it to Hedwig's leg before sending her to deliver it. I take the picture and watch how she's laughing and smiling. I continue to cry and in between sobs I say to it, "Mia I'm sorry. I had no other choice. I don't know how else to save you. I wish there was another way, but there isn't. The only way I can save you is to abandon you. Pretend I don't care about you anymore and hope that you move on with your life."
I continue to cry and I fall onto my bed, still holding her picture. I fall asleep hugging the picture
to me and crying. When I fall asleep my dreams are haunted by her and how and images of how
I want us to be. It's the only good dream I've had in months.