Silver Cross Chapter 26: Believe, a rurouni kenshin fanfic

Disclaimer – I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.

Silver Cross

Chapter 26 – Believe

You know what's really annoying?
Huh?
When I got turned I had tan lines from working in the field all summer and they haven't gone away. What's it been, fifty years?
That is really annoying.
Tell me about it.

"Kenshin, you'll never kill it this way."

They both stood in the dark. In truth, he couldn't say 'stood', because there was no floor to stand on. The world was black, stiflingly close and frighteningly vast at the same time. The only color that broke up the monotony of darkness surrounding him was a person: himself, standing in front of him. Instinctively, Ken knew this man was human, as he himself had been his whole life before he'd met Tomoe. Human, the man was still fresh off the farm where he'd served the local daimyo all his life, wearing a hakama and gi, his swords at his belt. Ken's ancestors were samurai. Katana, wakizashi, tanto. The man looked as if he'd stepped right out of the Tokugawa era, out of Japan in the year 1800. It hurt to stand there and look at himself before life, or death rather, had hit him hard.

"Who are you?" Ken asked. He tried to reach out to touch the young man, to prove to himself he was real. He was or the man was. Ken felt he no longer knew which one of them was real. But he couldn't move easily through the dark. It kept him still. Ken and his look-alike were the only things that existed in the darkness, the only things visible anyway, though there was no light and he shouldn't have been able to see at all.

"I'm Himura Kenshin," his look-alike said in Japanese. His hair was tied high in a ponytail, as Kenshin had worn it the entirety of his human life. The hairstyle most samurai had worn was the topknot, but his red hair had been such an unusual color that the daimyo he'd worked for hadn't been able to resist ordering him to display it. He hadn't been known as the Battousai until after his death, but he'd already earned a reputation by the time he'd turned twenty-two. That year the daimyo to whom he was sworn allegiance loaned Kenshin to one of his allies as favor to fight a border skirmish. It had lasted longer than expected, long enough for Tomoe to find him, and he'd died before he could return to his family.

"I'm twenty-three," the younger version of himself continued, "and I haven't been off Honshu my whole life. I'm the part of your soul you've been missing. You left me here when you died."

"Where is here?" Ken asked.

"In our mind," he answered. "Existing in a moment."

A moment. Life changed in moments such as these. "Kaoru," Ken remembered. "What's happening to her?"

"This moment isn't as long for her or anyone else," his human self replied. "She's watching you now. Your body is about to collapse."

"The lime stuff Yumi had me drink must have been poison after all," Ken realized.

The other him shook his head. "No, the liquid you drank is Yumi's dream. It's forced your body to go through major changes. They're better changes if you live through them."

Had he spoken in riddles when he was human? He didn't remember, but it seemed unlikely. "What moment are you talking about?" Ken asked, trying to make sense of the whole thing.

Kenshin shrugged. "My moment is sunset, the day before you died. Do you remember it?" He didn't pause. "Yours is the moment after you drank Yumi's potion, watching Kaoru from across the room." His eyes were wide, violet, jaded but more innocent than Ken was now, after two hundred extra years on this earth.

"You've existed inside of me, all this time," Ken realized. It was crazy, but it felt right. Here was the humanity he'd lost when he'd been turned.

"I'm you," Kenshin confirmed, "before you became the Battousai."

It was true. He'd been called Battousai in the last few months of his life, but he hadn't earned the title until he'd been turned.

"I can still remember our family," Kenshin told him. "Our father always yelled and never talked because he'd gone deaf in one ear. When we were little, we knew the names of all the flowers in the garden because our mother taught us. We forgot them once we were old enough to hold a bokken."

It hurt. And Kenshin knew it hurt. That was why he said all these things, reminded Ken. Ken couldn't remember. The years had washed away the memories: the sound of his mother's voice, her face. Had his father really yelled when he talked? Had he really once known the names of all the flowers in Japanese? He hadn't spoken to anyone in Japanese in years. His mastery of the language was fading. He dreamed in English now, the language that was fast dominating the world.

"Remember our little brothers?" Kenshin continued, his violet eyes far away. "Identical twins. Everyone said it was a miracle, twins in the family. Remember our little sister? We played with her the most. And our older brother? We wanted to be just like him, but then he died and we hated him for leaving."

Ken didn't remember. He'd lived only for the present and the future after he'd become a vampire. He had no time for the past. He'd thrown the duty of remembering away, denounced it, because of the pain. By throwing away his past, he'd also lost whatever remained of his humanity, the part of him that was still Kenshin Himura. But then Sano had died and he hadn't been able to accept it. He'd started looking back at the past again, back over his shoulder at the moments before, not simply the now and the later. Then he'd met Kaoru. Meeting her had intensified his desire to visit the past, if only in his memories. Corny as it was, with her he could fly past the bad memories, the painful ones, and focus on the warm ones.

"Kenshin," Kenshin said, but that was wrong, because Ken wasn't Kenshin. Ken hadn't been Kenshin for a long time.

"What," Ken snapped, so irritated all at once that he could barely move, could barely breathe through the dark, and his human self was suddenly in his face, making him feel angrier that he couldn't remember his own family, damnit, his own mother. His sister. His brothers. His father. They were his too. His to remember.

"Kenshin," Kenshin said again, "Do you remember when you went in the church?"

The cathedral. He nodded. There was no forgetting that night.

"Tell me what happened," Kenshin said, only it was an order, unusual coming from his young face. But they shared the same young face. His eyes were so different. Foreign.

"I couldn't enter," Ken said flatly. "I'm tainted, not worthy."

"It's Kaoru's God," Kenshin said. His young eyes were excited. "Remember you read the whole Bible online after that?"

Ken nodded. "I couldn't touch a Bible either. I wanted to see if I could find out why, but I found nothing."

"Liar," Kenshin accused. "You found the reason you couldn't enter, why no vampire can touch a cross, why that holy water injection killed Tomoe. You thought you learned to fear the cross, but in reality, you learned to fear God."

"I was raised in the Shinto faith of many gods." Ken reminded him skeptically. "Not Christianity."

"Some sects of the Shinto faith developed into a monotheistic religion after you died. You know that Sano was raised in the Tenrikyo faith. He believed in one God."

Ken had forgotten. How much more had he forgotten?

"Do you know what the dark one is, Kenshin?" Kenshin asked. Ken got the feeling he got some sick satisfaction from confusing him. Hell, he couldn't blame the guy, considering he'd been suppressed, effectively imprisoned, in Ken's mind for the past two hundred odd years.

"No," Ken admitted. "But I need to stop it." Or Kaoru would die.

"You can't without Kaoru," Kenshin told him flatly, "and only once you believe."

"Believe in what?" Ken scoffed. "In God? Is that what you expect me to believe in? That He watches over vampires? You're a fool." He laughed bitterly, realizing who he was talking to. "I'm a fool."

Kenshin was suddenly angry. "Stop putting off the inevitable." His eyes flashed amber for a brief instant. Strange. Sano had told him about that, but he'd never bothered to look in the mirror at those moments. Ken hadn't known it happened when he'd been human as well.

"Go back," Kenshin said scornfully.

As the world faded in, Kenshin faded out. Ken fell back into himself, closed his eyes with the shock and realized he was still falling, even though his moment was over.

Ouch!
Are you okay?
Man! Why'd you throw it so hard?
Wimp.
Shut up. You almost broke my nose with a Frisbee!
Only 'cuz you can't catch.

He would have fallen, Kaoru knew, if he hadn't collapsed forward onto Yumi. Thanks to her vampire strength, she caught him easily in her arms. And anyway, he only leaned against her for a second before he was standing on his own again, wavering, but standing without assistance.

Kaoru frowned. Vampires didn't faint as a general rule; at least, she didn't think they did. It looked like her general idea of your everyday vampire had gotten revised again. What had that potion done to him? Yumi had said it was her discovery. She'd said it was the key to everything.

"Thank you," Kenshin said to Yumi.

Kaoru blinked in confusion before realizing he was thanking Yumi for holding him up. It should have been obvious, but she'd expected something bigger to happen, something less anticlimactic.

"How are you feeling?" Yumi asked eagerly.

Kaoru watched as Kenshin swayed on his feet.

"Hungry, like you said I would. But," he paused and didn't complete his sentence.

"Where's the challenge," the dark one demanded impatiently. It was suddenly standing beside her. A demon possessing Sanosuke Sagara's body was standing barely a foot to her right.

"It's right here," Yumi said, turning her back on Kenshin so she was facing Kaoru and the dark one. "Studying you, sir, I realized a vampire could never destroy you. But no human has the years of experience required, or the right amount of motivation," Yumi took a deep breath. The green lip stick shone against her open mouth. "Last month I completed the project I started years ago with my lover. I made his greatest wish come true. But I needed the right vampire to make use of this gift, to appreciate our years of work. The Battousai is the one. It's no secret that he hates himself as a vampire, that the only reason he went on existing in this world was to avenge his friend's death."

Yumi laughed. "He and I are similar," her lips turned upward in a smile. "I did some research on you, sir. I deduced what type of creature you were in order to learn how to kill you. That's how I found out a vampire couldn't do it. Only a human could. I must admit it was a shock. It seemed like my fate and the Battousai's were intertwined. And then I heard about his involvement with Ms. Kamiya and I knew I had to give him the gift of my life's work. With her help, he can kill you."

Yumi must have gone off her rocker. Didn't she see that the dark one was about to kill Kaoru? Definitely not the other way around. And what was she babbling on about? The woman had finally cracked. She was bragging about her discovery, looking smug and happy with herself, and she hadn't actually said a thing.

"So he's not a vampire, anymore," the dark one shrugged. "I feel the change in his ki. You've only made him weaker."

"Strength is an illusion," Yumi cried out. "Strength, even cleverness, will not defeat you."

"If he's not a vampire, what is he?" Kaoru heard herself asking fearfully. Had Yumi somehow deleted Kenshin's emotions so he could fight without feeling he had to protect anyone? Ken had barely said two sentences since he'd fainted. Had he gone mute? Was that why he'd trailed off?

"Kaoru, you of all people have to understand," Yumi said, as if she was amazed at Kaoru's stupidity.

"I'm human again," Kenshin said softly, confirming the wish Kaoru hadn't dared to hope for. If her eyes opened any wider, they'd pop right out of her sockets. He looked the same. His voice sounded the same. The way he carried himself was the same. He probably moved the same way. But he was staring down at himself in shock, and Kaoru knew he'd just realized that himself.

"Yes," Yumi exclaimed, as if she was a teacher and her student had just multiplied 1294 by 392 in his head and got it right. "It was his desire to be human, my lover's desire, and I struggled to give it to him through science. He was a genius," she smiled with pride. "But he's dead and I couldn't waste it on some idiot who actually wanted to be a vampire."

Problems were raging through Kaoru's head. "But the blood that's in Ken's veins, it's not all human. He could die-"

Yumi shook her head. "I thought of that and made adjustments to his new physical makeup. He'll need a transfusion within the hour. It doesn't matter what type of blood, but if he's given type 'O positive' for example, that will be his blood type for the rest of his life." She turned to Kenshin. "You'll need to take as many vitamins as you can for the first three months. Your body's gone too long without them. And you'll burn easily in the sun for a week or two. Wear plenty of sunscreen everyday for a month or you'll develop skin cancer. Drink plenty of fluids. You might feel a little flu-like. You'll have to get your vaccinations. You know, measles, mumps, rubella, tetanus, chicken pox, flu, anything else you can think of because your body will have to develop it's own defenses against disease-"

"Hold up," the dark one cut her off. "There's no need to tell him anything because I'm going to kill him. However, I am very impressed with your work, Yumi, although your loyalty is definitely lacking. I'll have to fix that before I kill you. Now, let's get back to the fight. I'm not very patient."

The wheels were turning in Kaoru's head. Yumi said a vampire couldn't defeat the dark one. So she'd turned Kenshin human. Humans were a lot weaker. So why did she say only a human could defeat the dark one?

The answer came to her. She'd been an idiot. But if she'd figured it out on her own, maybe Kenshin could figure it out too. It was too bad she couldn't tell him. Yeah, life would be a lot easier if she could just tell him what to think, if she could make him think the way she wanted him to just this once. Too bad it didn't work that way. Kaoru held the katana with her right hand and brought her left up to her ear, fiddling with her earring as if it was a nervous habit.

Kenshin's eyes narrowed. It looked like he'd finally snapped out of his reverie and noticed how close the dark one was to her, easily within striking distance. "I'll fight you." He bent and picked up his katana with his right hand and sheathed it.

Idiot, Kaoru realized. He was an idiot for not realizing. How was a wimpy piece of metal supposed to defeat a demon from Hell? It wasn't.

"Kenshin," she said sharply. He looked up at her in surprise. She wrenched the silver cross earring from her ear and threw it at him.

There are ants in here.
Didn't you have the exterminator come a couple days ago?
Yeah. But that doesn't change the fact that there are ants in here.
Tell the exterminator to come back then.
I can't.
Why not?
I rewarded him with a couple of women, some contacts of mine that wanted to meet another vampire. It turned out that he's really rich and only exterminates bugs because he likes to. He took the women on a cruise somewhere. He's long gone.
That's one rich bug exterminating vampire.
There might be stranger people than him.

He flinched. Two hundred years as a vampire had ingrained in him the instinct to avoid such things as silver crosses flying through the air in his general direction. Kaoru wanted him to catch it. By the time he remembered he wasn't a vampire and realized if it wasn't important she definitely wouldn't have thrown it to him at a time like this, it was too late. He tried to catch it, but now that he was human again his reflexes were slower and he missed. It flew past him and landed silently on the carpeted floor somewhere beyond him.

The dark one held Kaoru's hands behind her back with one arm. Her katana was on the ground in front of her feet. Now that he wasn't a vampire, Kenshin hadn't seen it move, hadn't seen it grab Kaoru although he'd taken his eyes off them for only a second, an instant really.

"Is killing her the only way to get you to concentrate?" the dark one asked, smiling maliciously. It was in Sano's body. This only made things crueler, although now that he was human again, he couldn't feel the dark one's aura pressing around him. His veins pumped adrenaline, the hair on the back of his neck was on high alert, and he had to remind himself to breathe, but the heavy weight of the aura was mostly lifted.

"Don't kill her." Kenshin heard the words burst from his mouth before he'd had time to think them. Kaoru wasn't even struggling. She'd given up. Was she just going to stand there and make him watch her die?

"You can't save her," Yumi said desperately. "Kaoru tried to save you, but you didn't let her. I gave you your only chance but-"

"Shut up," the dark one yelled.

Yumi tensed and fell silent, head bowed.

Kenshin watched as Kaoru made her move. She'd taken advantage of the dark one's distraction and wrenched one of her arms free from its hold. Kenshin wanted to tell her to stop, that she would only make it kill her faster, but it was already too late. Surprisingly, her hand went to her right ear. She wrenched out her earring and held it between herself and the dark one. It still gripped her other hand.

"I believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth, and in Jesus Christ, His only son, our Lord," she began, brandishing the tiny cross as if it was as dangerous as a dagger in front of her.

For the first time, the dark one looked afraid.

Kaoru shoved the cross hard against its chest still reciting the Apostle's Creed, "who was conceived by the Holy Ghost, born of the Virgin Mary-"

The cross had burned through the dark one's shirt and must be burning its chest. Ken could hear the sizzle of cooking meat. It wasn't a vampire. What was it?

"She hasn't lived long enough," Yumi said, just as the dark one shoved Kaoru away, brought up his katana, and sliced her head off in one smooth motion.

Kenshin picked up his katana with is right hand and sheathed it. He looked up past Yumi at Kaoru and the dark one standing across the room. Kaoru held the katana she must have picked up somewhere in her right hand. With her left she drew her earring from her ear.

Kaoru was still alive. When the dark one had drawn his sword through her neck the cut had been so smooth that Kenshin hadn't had time to react. But this was before she'd thrown the earring at him, before he'd failed to catch it. He must have had a vision of what would happen if he didn't catch her earring. He'd been given another chance. By who? God? He'd spent so many years denying God's existence that not even a vision would make him believe in God. So that had been what his human self had meant in the moment when they'd shared their first conversation in almost two hundred years. He'd said he could only stop the dark one with Kaoru, only once he believed.

Kenshin was trembling with the shock of seeing Kaoru killed and now seeing her alive in front of him, perhaps a minute away from her death. He didn't have time to believe. He only had time to save her. Yumi had said she wasn't strong enough when Kaoru had been jamming the cross into the dark one's chest. She'd said only a human could kill the dark one, a human with experience. Kenshin was now a human with experience.

"Kenshin," Kaoru said sharply. He looked up at her in surprise. She wrenched the silver cross earring from her ear and threw it at him.

This time he caught it in mid-step as he charged toward the dark one, determined to get to Kaoru before it realized Kenshin had figured out how to kill it. That was what Yumi had meant in the vision, when she'd said Kaoru wasn't strong enough. Kenshin was still faster than a normal human. His vampire-enhanced speed and strength were fading slowly from his body. He was still at least four times as strong as Kaoru. He could do it; he could kill it before it killed her.

Kaoru met his eyes then, and the dark one grabbed her hands and held them behind her back, because it knew a cross was the only way it could be defeated. Kenshin saw that now. That was why it surrounded itself with vampires, why it sought to turn humans into vampires. Kaoru met his eyes and twisted away, kicking the dark one in the shin as she did and struggling to escape, sacrificing herself to give Kenshin time to get there, knowing she was going to die.

And the dark one held a hand to her head and the same thing that had happened to Akira was happening to Kaoru. It was worse because he could see her face. There wasn't enough time for her to be anything more than surprised when the dark one placed his hand on the top of her head. Then her eyes closed, her face went slack, and blood started pouring from her, from her nose, her ears, her mouth, her eyes. Much more blood than Akira had shed. The human body contains six quarts of blood and it was all spilling out.

Kaoru was still alive. Another vision then. Kenshin was breathing harder. What was he supposed to do? How many more chances would he get to defeat the dark one, and why was he getting more than one chance in the first place? He could feel the presence of his human soul. He really was becoming Kenshin again, which was hard to face at a time like this because he could barely remember how it had been to be Kenshin.

"Kenshin," Kaoru said sharply. He looked up at her, no longer surprised. She wrenched the silver cross earring from her ear and threw it at him. She was making it very difficult to save her when she kept trying to save him.

He took a step forward and caught the silver cross in his left hand. Rushing forward wouldn't do any good. He had to wait until he had an opening.

"Come here and join Ms. Kamiya, Battousai," the dark one ordered.

Kenshin met its eyes and it was all wrong because he could see Sano back there, trapped in his own body. It was doing it on purpose, letting Sano be aware of the actions he was being forced to commit. Kenshin had a feeling Sano was usually locked so far back in his own mind that he had no clue what was going on around him. There was pain in those eyes, and regret.

"Too late," the dark one said. It was still wrong because Sano was still there. Sano was still aware as he picked Kaoru up by her neck and threw her against the wall, all because Kenshin had hesitated. She lay where she'd fallen, still and slumped against the wall, not Kaoru anymore.

He wanted to save her, needed to save her, but Kenshin understood that it wasn't about saving Kaoru anymore. He had to save Sano, and then it might work out with Kaoru. He wanted Kaoru to live more than he wanted to kill the dark one now, but he didn't know if he could, not when he knew he'd be killing Sano as well.

He caught the earring she threw as he took a step towards the dark one.

"Come here and join Ms. Kamiya, Battousai," the dark one ordered.

Kenshin met its eyes and saw Sano. This time he didn't hesitate, didn't dwell on the fact that his friend was a prisoner in his own body. The eyes grew strained with pain, and then exhaustion.

"Kenshin," Sano said, releasing Kaoru. He doubled over in a coughing fit. Kenshin froze. By the time the fit was over Sano was having trouble breathing. When he stood again Kenshin could see how weak his friend was. Sano wiped a bloodstained hand on his jeans. There was heaviness to his manner that Sano had never possessed before, as if he'd carried the world his whole life and it was only his determination that prevented him from collapsing. The dark one's possession was causing his body to decline. He'd been fighting it for too long. Sano looked beyond tired. Ken knew dark circles under Sano's eyes had been there for a long time and the complexion under his tan was pale ivory. It seemed impossible that the body he and the dark one shared could have deteriorated into that of this weak vampire when the dark one relinquished its influence. The willpower it took for Sano to stay in control was killing him.

"Kenshin, it wants to kill her," Sano said flatly. They both looked at Kaoru.

"I would've tried to kill you," she said in wonder. "But you're still there, and you can suppress the dark one's will."

Sano shook his head wearily. "It's an illusion. I can't control it. It's only letting me be aware now."

"Sano-", Kenshin started.

"You have to kill me," Sano ordered, his gaze focused on Kenshin again. He looked scared.

"I can't," Kenshin told him. "I thought you were dead."

"This is worse," Sano said. "I'd kill myself if it would let me. It's been past time for my death."

"You don't mean that," Kaoru broke in.

Sano turned to look at her, showing her the same fear in his eyes that he'd shown Kenshin. "Killing this demon is right."

Kaoru shuddered. "But you'll die."

"I've wanted death since I became a vampire. I saw the afterlife when my human body died, but I was dragged away by the coward's choice I made to become a vampire instead of facing death."

Kenshin couldn't find breathe enough to speak.

"Megumi's waiting for me, Kenshin," Sano said to him. "Either way, I'm going to die tonight."

Sano knew then. He knew that if Kenshin didn't kill him, the dark one would abandon his weak body and possess someone else, someone it would be impossible to kill until their body was as worn down as Sano's. That would take years. It would probably possess Tsubame, since she was strongest, and her spirit had broken with Yahiko's death.

"I'd rather you did it, Kenshin," Sano said softly.

Kenshin looked at Kaoru. She was staring at Sano with something like respect and dread all at once. Even if he did find it in himself to kill his best friend, what would she think of him? Would she look at him the same way, with dread?

Horror crossed Sano's face and he was gone. The dark one was taking back control over the body they shared. A soul and a demon were fighting a war in that body, a war that the dark one would win.

"Move, Kaoru," Kenshin shouted as he ran towards the dark one. Blessedly, thankfully, she did. Then Kenshin was standing in front of the dark one inside his friend's body, and somewhere back behind those eyes was Sano, waiting for Kenshin to kill him.

So many chances he'd been given, to complete this task. Unbidden, a memory of a whisper reached his mind. He's been watching over you your whole life. He didn't stop caring for your soul just because your body changed. When had Kaoru told him that? Kenshin felt that he was on the edge of realizing something. He almost understood what Kaoru had been trying to tell him, why the human side of his soul had implored him to believe, why he'd read the Bible that one time, even though he was a vampire. But he wasn't a vampire anymore, and that was the whole point, wasn't it? He was human again.

Kenshin held the cross in his left fist. He leaned forward to press it against the dark one's shoulder. For the first time he saw fear in its eyes.

He shoved the cross forward then, but the dark one anticipated his move. It dropped to a crouch and kicked Kenshin's feet out from underneath him all before Kenshin could react, now that he was human. But his eyes were still quick and he could see it all happen, see it all happening and he knew that if he hadn't been able to kill the dark one as a vampire, he wouldn't have a chance as a human.

The dark one laughed as he was falling, its voice no longer masquerading as Sano's but low and guttural, painful to the ear. Kenshin fought the urge to cover his ears in mid-fall, because he didn't know if he could stand it any longer. He knew why Sano wanted to die. Death was better than having that thing crawling around inside him, probing his thoughts, its voice in his mind. He had to save Sano from that.

The dark one kicked him again, before his body had touched the ground, and he knew at least a couple of his ribs were broken. He landed hard a few feet away and let himself roll so he was lying on his side facing the dark one. It was letting him see Sano trapped there because its eyes held only pain. It was torture looking into them, Sano's eyes in the alien face.

Kaoru ran at the dark one and made to kick it, fear in her eyes. Why did she keep trying to save him?

Kenshin closed his eyes because he couldn't watch her die again.

God was cruel in His love, making him try over and over. Kenshin couldn't do it alone. It wasn't happening no matter how many chances he was given. On his own Kaoru would die, Sano would die, Yahiko had already died. He was falling now, falling over the edge of the realization he sensed he was near before.

"Move, Kaoru," Kenshin shouted as he dropped his useless katana and ran towards the dark one. Blessedly, thankfully, she did. Kenshin stopped in front of the dark one inside his friend's body, and somewhere back behind those eyes was Sano, wanting Kenshin to kill him. It wasn't fair, damnit. As he stopped he thrust his left fist, the one with the cross in it, forward. He could feel the power held inside it because he could believe now. And there was the fear in the demon's eyes just as he'd known there would be the second he began to believe. He slammed the cross into the dark one's forehead and it fell back, writhing. He fell with it, keeping his hand pressed against its forehead. They hit the ground and Kenshin bounced with the force of the impact, but his palm remained flat on the dark one's forehead, sandwiching the cross between his hand and its suddenly feverish skin.

It was staring up at him with as much fury as pain. Sano was completely submerged beneath the flood of its will now, as it struggled silently to hurl Kenshin away. It knew it would lose, but knowing that fact only fed its anger. As the cross burned through the thing's skin Kenshin heard himself praying, because something was rising up out of Sano's body, something that looked like mist in the shape of a featureless man.

"He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness, for his namesake," Kenshin heard himself say as he felt his strength being torn from him and used by the cross that pulsed against the palm of his hand.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me," Kenshin let the words pour from him as the last of his vampire strength burned away in the light of the cross and the incorporeal body of the demon faded even as the light's intensity grew.

"I believe in God, the father almighty, and in Jesus Christ, His only son, our Lord," Kenshin said as he found out that he did believe.

The ghost-like body of the demon had completely risen from Sano. Kenshin's hand, pressed against its forehead, had risen with it. Now the body shattered into pieces, only to dissolve in mid-air. The oppressive aura Kenshin hadn't realized he could still feel lifted. The silver cross dropped from his palm and fell neatly onto the scar it had burned into Sano's forehead.

Sano's eyes were open, his body weak and sickly again as he lay on the carpet, staring upwards at Kenshin. Their eyes met.

"Thanks, Kenshin," Sano said. He smiled at something beyond Kenshin, and his body dissolved into ashes.

The silver cross glinted on the carpet.

Kenshin passed out.

Don't be superstitious.
But a black cat crossed my path!
They say trouble comes in threes.
Your words are oh so comforting.
Sarcasm doesn't become you.
Just shut up.

"Soujiro," Kaoru said, bursting into his dorm room in college. "It's over! You can go back."

Light had entered the room with her. It glinted merrily off her earrings, tiny gold hoops today. It was almost enough to cheer him up.

"I can't go out like this," Soujiro told her.

Kaoru came over and sat down beside him on the floor. For some reason he was cutting out little gingerbread men from brown construction paper.

"You can't stay here, Sou. You'll die."

Sou shook his head. "They'll take care of my body. You're here. I'll be fine."

"But your uncle is looking for you," Kaoru protested. "He's been talking to you for a while now. You can't keep on ignoring him. It's rude." She tapped her hands against her knees.

"Kaoru, you're not there out there."

She cast him a confused stare.

He tried again. "There's a lot happening out there, life changing things, and I can't deal with them alone. But you and I broke up, so even though you're here, you're not out there to help me."

"Sou," Kaoru's voice was stern. "Even if we did break up, I know I'm still there to help you. You don't even need help, not really. You can deal with whatever it is." This was the Kaoru of a year ago, when she had complete confidence in him.

Soujiro shook his head. "I can't deal with it, but I can't let the Kaoru out there know I'm having trouble. I can't be a burden to her. It would only make her unhappy, and she already has more problems than me."

Kaoru bent her head and stared down at the gingerbread cut outs scattered on the floor around him. "You're sacrificing yourself for me?"

He realized she might feel guilty. "It's not like that-"

"Am I going out with another guy?" she asked. There was something in her voice, something that threatened to take away the light she'd brought with her if he didn't answer.

"You are," he answered, focusing on the head of his latest gingerbread man.

"Why?" she asked. "Why aren't we together if you'll sacrifice yourself for me?"

"He will too," Soujiro said, because it was the truth. "And I think he already has. He's better at protecting you anyway."

"I'm sorry, Sou," she said, watching his hands now. "But promise me you'll go back. Your uncle wants to help you."

"Uncle Shishio only uses people."

"How can you say that?" she asked, stricken. "You're not usually judgmental."

"It's the truth," he said stubbornly, because it was.

Her hands covered his, pried the scissors away and discarded them. She brought his hands to her face and he met her eyes. "Promise me you'll go back."

He opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off.

"In a couple days," she begged, "when your uncle brings your body to your family and I can hear their voices, say you'll go back. You know this is all a dream, a block you've put up to stop whatever's happening out there from reaching you. Promise," she demanded. But her voice trembled and her hands shook, so it wasn't much of a demand. Still, this was Kaoru, and he'd never been able to deny her something she really wanted if he could give it.

Sou sighed, suddenly too tired to argue. "I'll go back."

She threw her arms around him and buried her face against the cloth of his shirt. He held her, because she wanted him to and because he needed the contact. It looked like he wasn't going to take the easy way out after all.

I just bought this cool talking robot.
What's it say?
Me llamo Roberto el roboto.
That is cool!
Gracias.

Kaoru watched Kenshin pass out in front of her. Sano was dead, but it was over. It was all finally over. She didn't have to hold herself up anymore. She unclenched her hand from around the katana. She'd been holding it so long and so tightly that the motion hurt. Her fingers wanted to stay locked around the hilt. She ignored the pain and flung the sword away from herself.

Kaoru let herself fall to her knees. Her mind refused to dwell on what had just happened. Every time she tried to recall anything from the whole evening her mind slid around the memory. It was shutting down so fast she felt disoriented. She wondered if she was going into shock. The bump on the back of her head started throbbing again, except it had probably been throbbing the whole time.

She only needed a moment. She'd never felt this tired before, not even after a hard practice with the rest of the track team back in high school.

Her cheek rested against the carpet. She closed her eyes.

Shishio was yelling at Tsubame. She'd forgotten he was in the room. She hoped Soujiro was okay. She'd gotten a glimpse of him and he hadn't looked good. He hadn't even looked like he was there.

A huge flash of light shone beyond her eyelids. It brought her down into the darkness.

Ayame and I got really cool pens at this new restaurant, Ken.
Since when have you thought a pen was 'really cool'?
Mine writes green.

"You're awake," a male voice said.

She was lying on her back, on a bed it felt like, under a thin sheet that felt like cotton. Kaoru tried to open her eyes, couldn't. Everything was black. Not true exactly, she could sense a light directly above her, grayness cutting through the dark.

The voice sounded familiar, but she couldn't place it, so she asked. "Who are you?"

"We've met once before," the man told her. His voice came from her right. It sounded like he was sitting in a chair next to her bed. Was she in a hospital?

"I'm Soujiro's uncle, Makoto Shishio."

The vampire hunter. Kaoru tried to sit up, but he held an arm in front of her chest and forced her to lie back down. She still felt weak and her head ached.

"Where am I? Where's Kenshin? Why can't I see? Am I-"

"Let me explain Ms. Kamiya," Shishio cut her off. "You're in Dr. Gensai's private offices. The Battousai is receiving a blood transfusion in another room. You can't see because you're blind."

Kaoru felt her eyes widen in shock. Kenshin was safe, but she... She was blind. She closed her eyes. There was no use keeping them open if it made no difference. "Is- is Kenshin going to be alright?" She couldn't think about herself right now.

"The good doctor anticipates a full recovery after the transfusion." Shishio sounded surprised for some reason. Footsteps sounded from the hallway. Tile floors. They stopped outside of what she guessed must be the doorway to the room she was lying in. Kaoru heard the tell-tale rustle of clothing as Shishio stood.

"You're awake," a new voice observed from the doorway, a voice she was sure she'd heard before.

"I'm going to check on my nephew," she heard Shishio say. "Inform Ms. Kamiya of all she wishes to know."

The man in the hallway must have nodded his assent, because the two men didn't exchange more words. All Kaoru heard was their footsteps. One set coming towards her, one set fading away and out into the hall. The chair creaked as the newcomer seated himself beside her.

"My name is Enishi," he told her.

Kaoru moved her arm experimentally. She wasn't tied down to the bed. Shishio had obviously felt there was no need for restraints. She wondered if that meant he would let her live. Probably. But would he let Kenshin live?

"I'm Kaoru," she said. He took her wrist and felt for her pulse. She was surprised at the relief she felt at the contact. "Are you a doctor?" she asked.

He laughed. "No. I'm a hunter. We've met before. I'm afraid I was the one who got you into this mess." His hand lifted from her wrist.

"What do you mean?"

"I was working for Jineh Kuragosa, hunting the Battousai when he ran into you at the restaurant. I'm sure you remember our interview."

Realization dawned. "You're the white haired man from Tae's." It seemed like an age ago.

"Nine nights is a long time, isn't it?" he asked. She hadn't recognized his voice because this time it held warmth. His voice had been cold when he'd been trying to bully information out of her. Now it was full of relief.

"That's right," Kaoru said. "It's the nineteenth now, isn't it?"

"Almost dawn," he affirmed. "I'm here to fill you in on what happened after you passed out. Ready?"

Kaoru nodded. "As I'll ever be."

He placed a small paper package in her hands and let her fingers explore it while he spoke. "These are an enhanced form of firecrackers. If you were to throw them on the ground they'd give off enough artificial light to kill any and all the vampires in the immediate vicinity." To Kaoru, it felt like pebbles inside the package, small hard pebbles.

"They're also bright enough to temporarily blind any normal human," Enishi continued. "Even if the person throwing them wears sunglasses and covers their eyes, they still might be blind for a few minutes. That's why hunters don't use these in combat. We're still working on developing a better way to protect the eyes."

Hope started to bloom in Kaoru's mind.

"As you were passing out, the last of the dark one's vampires broke past Saitou and Shinomori and entered the room. Shishio had a package of light bombs. He set them off and killed all the vampires in the vicinity."

"All the vampires?" Kaoru asked fearfully.

"Tsubame Myojin escaped, if that's what you're asking."

"Yumi?"

"Ashes. She felt that her life was complete when she succeeded in turning the Battousai human again. Shishio gave her time to escape, but she failed to leave the room."

A part of Kaoru had expected that, but she'd been holding onto the hope that she could thank Yumi for what she'd done.

"Shishio wore protective sunglasses, so his vision is fine, but you and Seta were both blinded. At least, we think he was blinded. He's still catatonic. Dr. Gensai expects him to come out of it when his family comes for him. You both should regain your sight in three days. That's how long it took in our labs when we tested the light bombs."

Kaoru took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She wasn't blind. She wasn't blind. She didn't have to learn Braille after all.

"Shishio didn't tell you it was temporary, did he?"

Kaoru shook her head. "I think he's still mad about Soujiro."

"Probably," Enishi agreed. "Don't worry about it." He changed the subject. "Shishio told me Yumi gave you some warnings about Kenshin's physical condition. He'll need to be isolated. You'll have to get him the vitamins, the sunscreen, the vaccinations, plenty of fluids, everything you'd do for a baby. Dr. Gensai thinks his immune system will take at least a month until it's developed into that of a normal adult's. And he's got to get a lot of exercise. He'll be ready to travel in a few days. Shishio, Soujiro, and I will escort the two of you back to Pennsylvania."

"My parents," Kaoru suddenly remembered. "They're still on their two-week cruise."

"Shishio has called them already," Enishi said smoothly. "They'll meet you and the Battousai at the airport in Philadelphia."

"Okay," Kaoru said, relieved. "Why is Soujiro catatonic?"

"It's one of the body's defense mechanisms. His mind couldn't deal with the dark one's aura, so it closed him off from the rest of the world in order to remain intact. Once he realizes the danger has been eliminated, he'll come out of it," Enishi explained. "I'm surprised you haven't asked about yourself, Kaoru."

She hadn't wanted to ask. It made things seem final to say them. Part of her had hoped that if she didn't ask, she'd never know, and nothing would be wrong. The foolish part of her. She asked. "Is something else wrong with me?"

"No," Enishi answered. "You didn't suffer a concussion. All your vitals are good. You're just exhausted." He paused. "And now, Kaoru, our conversation is over. The Battousai is here."

"Kenshin?" Kaoru asked, startled. She hadn't heard him enter.

Enishi stood from the chair and his footsteps trailed to the hallway along with the soft rustle of his clothing.

"I'm here," Kenshin's voice came to her ear. He was right next to her, standing in the spot Enishi had so recently vacated. She concluded he moved as silently human as he had when he was a vampire. Enishi shut the door behind him and Kenshin lifted her right hand in both of his.

His lips met hers. It felt like years since he'd kissed her.

He pulled back, but only so he could climb up onto the bed next to her. She moved so she was lying on her side to accommodate him and he slid under the thin sheet that covered her. She felt his breathe on her face the moment before he kissed her again, his hand trailing along her cheek. His lips were warm and human, and this time it wasn't an illusion.

"I love you, Kaoru," he said when they broke apart. "I should have told you before."

Kaoru smiled. She felt a tear slide sideways across her nose and then her cheek. "I love you, but-"

"But what?"

It was going to cost her so much to say this. "If you don't want to be human, I understand."

"I want it, Kaoru," he said immediately. She almost fainted with relief. "I've wanted it since I died the first time. I wanted it more since I met you."

She exhaled a shaky laugh. "Enishi told me it's only been nine nights."

"Ten days," he corrected her. "I can see the dawn out the window, Kaoru." His voice was gentle, as if he'd strayed into a dream. "Pink and orange and pale blue and purple. The clouds are full of color, Kaoru." He sounded happier than she'd ever heard him before. He rubbed his thumb along her cheek. "Tell me the moment you get your sight back. I want to be there when you see again. It's like I've been blind all that time, Kaoru." She could hear the smile in his voice. "You're even prettier in daylight."

She wished she could see the expression on his face. "How'd you walk in here on your own after you just went through a blood transfusion?" she asked to make not seeing him easier.

"I had to make sure you were okay," he told her simply. "And I couldn't leave you alone with Enishi. He might try to seduce you just to spite me."

Kaoru laughed for real this time. "I love you, Kenshin."

He kissed her again.

A/N – Writing this chapter was the most stressful literary experiences I've had in a long time. It's been almost two years, guys. A month and it'll be two years since I started writing Silver Cross. I'm looking forward to the fluff ahead before I finally leave this version of Kenshin and Kaoru alone. Thank you for the inspiration people! One chapter left now, ya'll.

Aryanne