Meg panted.

"Wait! (pantpant) Monsieurs, waiiiit!" she cried, chasing the two mysterious horrid movie characters through the wings.

"Run faster, Torgo! Faster, dammit!" the Master cried.

"bUt tHiS iS aS fAsT aS I cAn RuN!" he said in sticky caps, hobbling along at speeds of 3. Needless to say, Meg caught Torgo rather quickly, and pinned him to the ground in a manner that could be thought of as painfully sexual by people with filthy minds.

"Hello. I'm Meg. I like rollerblading, long walks on the beach, and wrestling in banana pudding with slices of strawberries in it." Meg said.

Torgo just kind of blinked at her.

It is at this point that everybody should assume that Torgo talks in sticky caps all the time, because it is really freaking annoying to type out.

"Miss, would you please let me up? I have to help my Master take over this here opera house," he said.

"Hm…nah, I'm rather enjoying being in a position of power." Meg replied coolly. This too was regarded as painfully sexual by people with filthy minds.

"So as long as you're down there, would you mind telling me about your Master's grand…master…plan to take over this here opera house? And WHY?" she said.

"Well you see, he really likes opera. All those feathery outfits, the bright colors, the high singing, the divas…" Torgo trailed off.

"Right, so he's a flaming pansy. Continue."

"His plan includes marrying all the ballet dancers and having them systematically murder every last living thing here and turn this place into a giant Valley Lodge. Angry fertilizer salesmen vandalized the last Valley Lodge, because they disliked our movie."

Meg stared.

"Anyways, much as I enjoy being pinned to the ground by a sexy, sexy woman such as yourself, I really must be off to help the Master kill everybody."

"Nah, you're coming with me." With that, Meg stood up and began dragging Torgo away. He actually went quite a big faster than usual, what with his knees and all.

-

Once again, Christine and Erik were making out. They actually did very little except make out during the day. Sometimes they played table tennis. Erik had a pretty kickass table tennis table. Once, they went on a murderous rampage throughout the streets of Los Angeles. Or maybe I'm thinking of somebody else.

Anyways.

They were making out, as was stated earlier, when Meg came running down the steps, dragging Torgo behind her. He had somehow lost his hat along the way, revealing two goat horns on his head, which were extremely unsettling.

"Hey, Christine! CHRISTINE!" she shouted. Christine's head snapped up.

"NOTHING! Nothing, nothing, nothing…no snogging or anything going on…nope," she cried. Erik sat up and looked guilty.

"There is no time for blatant EC right now, Christine." Meg stated.

"There is always time for blatant EC."

"Shut it up, you." Meg said to Christine. "You'll offend the RC shippers who came in without reading the summary."

"Sorry, RC shippers." Christine said meekly to the audience.

"I'm not."

"Be quiet, Erik."

Binky sat in a rather large stuffed chair in the corner, reading Les Miserables. He was a very cultured pink elephant.

"So, this pretty little satyr here says that his flaming pansy Master is going to marry all the ballet dancers and then have them kill every single person in the opera so they can create a Valley Lodge. Whatever that is." Meg explained.

"Oh. How does this affect us?" Erik asked.

"We lack a plot." Meg said for what felt like the Xtieth time.

"Right, right, that thing."

-

Raoul floated around a bit, clutching his dollar close. He was flying around, attempting to scare the chorus girls into buying him a baguette. Mmmm, complex carbohydrates. He drifted through the wings and up into the rafters when he noticed a strange little man in a cloak that gave the impression he was about to be pushed over by two large red hands. He was dragging a ballet dancer around by her hair, which was dyed a vibrant blue. Never mind the fact that blue hair dye did not exist yet.

Oh well. Not his problem.

He floated back off, presumably to find either that pink elephant who murdered him so callously or another chorus girl to hit up for bread.

-

"So, erm…Meg." Christine said slowly. They were sitting together in the bedroom with the giant swan bed.

"Yes?"

"I just wanted to know if, um…"

"Yes?"

"Well, um…you and Torgo…?"

"Are we what?" Meg said blankly.

"You know…you and him…"

"…No, I don't know."

"Oh, for GOD'S SAKE, Meg!" Christine cried, leaping up. "Are you banging him?"

"Oh!" Meg laughed, almost too hard. "No, I don't bang quadrupeds."

"Meg, he walks on two legs. Granted, they are goat legs, but two legs nonetheless." Christine said, exasperated.

"Shut up Christine! Ha, ha, ha! What a silly idea! Torgo and me! SHUT UP!" Meg screeched, and then ran out of the room. Christine looked after her, and decided that Meg had inexplicably fallen in love with a satyr. That was really creepy.

-

Meanwhile, Erik and Torgo were locked in a heated game of table tennis. Torgo was winning by quite a lot.

"Curse you, satyr. I shall have my revenge." Erik grumbled angrily, as he missed yet another easy save.

"I'm sure you will."