Out of sheer boredom, I am going to list all my works in progress that have not been published here. It's a good start so I can think of what to write. Effil, effil writer's block. This crap is why I have not updated this ALL FREAKING SUMMER.

1. Box 5, a multi-chaptered thing about the ALW story if Erik didn't kill Buquet. Flaming, loudly supported EC. A true AU where things actually happen differently and Erik and Christine don't sing All I Ask Of You on the roof together. That always bugged me, because it's totally uncreative and passé.

2. A parody of the POTO movie where the characters can only speak one word. Inspired by lots and lots of Whose Line. Probably going to have an EC slant. It won't be published here if I finish it because it's in script format.

3. A Raoul angst one-shot (probably) about Raoul's thoughts and feelings after Christine leaves him for everybody's favorite Phantom. No bashing. EC obviously, but maybe ROW. I don't mind Raoul that much.

4. That Raoul/Dollar thing I mentioned awhile back. (I did actually start it on a lark.)

5. A ROW fic with some EC fluff piece set on Valentine's Day. It's fairly AU.

6. An EC fluff phic where Christine attempts to bake something for her teacher. She fails miserably, but it's all fluffy and 'awww' anyways. Somehow also set on Valentine's Day.

7. An alt-ending, Meg-centric multi-chaptered phic about how she deals with the double suicide of the mysterious Phantom and her best friend Christine. Also tells how she met the man she is supposed to have married in Leroux's prolouge. Very dark, MOC (the O stands for Other in this case, cause he's not really original, it's like when people give Philippe a personality) and some RM with a little EC at the beginning. I really like Meg. This is the most likely to be published.

8. A weird humorous mystery piece about the children of some of the people from POTO. It's hard to explain. Shippings are a secret. :P The humor style is quite different than French Chicks, just a warning.

9. Last but not least, a fluff phic where Erik has met another woman, but realizes that his heart could never truly lie with her. Not really EOC because of the ending I have planned. Don't worry; Erik isn't the one who is left with a broken heart.

10. Children of Satan, the only one up here that's on the site. Erik has been granted a twin sister who I hope will not turn into a Mary Sue. I'm trying very hard to give her a distinct personality and non-sympathetic flaws. For example, she's crazy as a loon. Remember kids, being too nice is not an actual flaw!

Tell me which one you'd like to see. Feel free to pick more than one.

And also, I'd like to tell you all that the people at thephantomsopera are immature and mean. SPAM THEM! No, no, I'm kidding. That would be hypocritical.

>

"Thought you said Meg was going to rescue us." Sorelli said angrily. Little Jammes shrugged.

"You honestly believed me?" she asked incredulously.

Meg grumbled in the corner. "I want some chocolate cake. And maybe a Black Angus sampler platter. And some nachos." She began to gnaw on her chains. "Hey, these taste kinda chocolaty."

"Really?" Jammes asked. She licked her chains, then promptly retched violently.

"No, I was just screwing with you." Meg said calmly. "It actually tastes like shit."

"I noticed." said Jammes, irritated. She shook her chains in a feeble, half-hearted attempt to break them. Failing that, she shouted as loud as her lungs would allow, which was fairly loud indeed, second only to Meg's inhuman ability to hit tones dogs could hear. Years of screaming that the Opera Ghost was going to kill them all tends to give you good training in that area.

"TORGO! WE'RE HUNGRY!" Sorelli and the other ballerinas winced, but Meg continued to grumble about wanting food. Torgo came running in, panting heavily and clutching a spatula.

"WHAT? I am TRYING to bake you a soufflé!" he said angrily.

"We changed our mind." Jammes said airily.

"What? WHAT?" asked Torgo furiously.

"We want some chocolate cake now. And maybe a few Double Bacon Beezleburgers." Sorelli said.

"None of those for me, those things decrease Mysticality and I'm a Pastamancer." Meg said. "I'll have a couple salty dogs."

"I don't know what those are!" Torgo cried, on the verge of tearing his hair out. The ballet rats did not listen, but instead began to discuss the Kingdom of Loathing.

"I have like, a zillion meat." Jammes bragged. "And plus I've ascended 10 times."

"I'VE ascended 11." Sorelli shot back.

"I imagine you're a Disco Bandit, then?" Jammes said airily.

"Oh, yes. I can't IMAGINE being something as monstrous as a Sauceror." Sorelli replied.

Meg glared at them both. "What the bloody hell is wrong with not being a Disco Bandit? They can't even do anything! I mean, sure they can make some overrated cocktails that sell for too much, but god! What the bloody hell is great about being moxious?"

"It means you're cool. And we aren't cool in our regular lives, so the only way to be so is by joining an online game and making everybody else feel horrible!" Jammes yelled. "I would have thought that was obvious!"

Meg looked to Torgo. "Dear, could you kill her?"

Torgo obliged Meg and ate Jammes whole.

"Thanks, love." Meg said sweetly. Torgo blushed.

>

"I got into an argument with an RC shipper today." Vega said cheerfully. Mirian sighed.

"You've been on that site again. Shouldn't you be updating?" she asked. "And I really don't see why you don't like RC. It's so romantic."

Vega grumbled in response, opening the new chapter and beginning to type.

"RC sucks, Mirian. Raoul is a dirty, dirty fophead." Vega said, not looking at her.

"Oh, you're just mad because Christine ran off with - " Mirian was cut off by Vega taping her mouth shut.

"It never happened, dammit! I can't hear you!"

>

"Look, Meg probably just wandered off - "

"Dammit, Erik! Meg doesn't just wander off, she's smarter than that!" Christine yelled as she dismantled the campsite. Erik followed closely behind her, trying to convince her Meg was all right.

"Maybe she just - "

"NO!"

Erik turned to Binky and glared at him. "This is all your fault."

Binky looked hurt. "What did I do?"

"You didn't stay with Meg. If you had, then Meg wouldn't have been kidnapped."

"Oh, go eat your vegetables!" Binky shouted uncharacteristically. Erik looked at him stoically, then stalked off after Christine. Binky sank down onto the ground and sulked.

>

"No no no no, that's not right, Miranda!" Raoul cried. "The sword is held like…this!" Raoul rearranged the young girl's hands on the sword. "The horrible, horrible pink elephants will be gone before you even nick them!"

Miranda looked pained. "But it's heavy!"

Raoul sighed. "Then go over with Rena, the Shipper Princess and learn the crossbow! I have to train like, 20 teenagers how to kill pink elephants and also evil things!" Miranda whimpered, but obeyed.

Raoul took this opportunity to look to the sky and deliver a soliloquy.

"Someday, Binky the Pink Elephant…I will find you, and my army of crazy, magically-gifted teenagers will kill you dead! My death shall be avenged! No more will I be laughed at the Semi-Annual Killed-Off Characters Convention, because I wasn't killed by a mad gunman or one of the main characters! REVENGE! REVEEEEENGE!" He was interrupted by somebody hitting him on the head with a rock.

"Ow! Who the f - " Raoul yelled, turning around.

"Language, fop-for-brains." Vega said. It was the authoress and two of her shipper friends. One was sobbing hysterically, and the other was glaring at Vega.

"I've told you a thousand times, Vega. He is NOT a fop!" Mirian shouted. Vega crossed her arms and entirely ignored Mirian.

"You're just mad because you know Christine loved Raoul!" she shouted again. Vega gasped and slapped Mirian.

"That's BULL! Christine was in love with Erik, and you know it!"

"CHRISTINE IS A STUPIDHEAD!" the shipper known as Andrea shouted over the other arguing shippers. This caused Vega & Mirian to cease their feud & glare at her. Then, Vega backhanded her across the head, and Mirian shoved her into a previously unmentioned sack.

"Sorry, she's stupid," said Mirian calmly, as if nothing had happened. Vega took the sack from her with a silent word of thanks and pushed it behind a corner.

"What do you people want?" asked Raoul angrily. "I have work to do, training all these teenagers to kill pink elephants."

"But what about Erik? Don't you want to kill Erik?" asked Mirian quickly. Raoul looked at her with an expression of surprise.

"Why would I want to kill Erik? He didn't do anything," he said. Vega smirked.

"Told you so," she said smugly.

"He's just saying that because you made him." Mirian said, unscathed.

"Whatever," said Vega. "We're here to bring you to help defeat Torgo with your army of adolescent warriors. And also – what the hell?"

Three girls had come up to them. One was rather tall, and wearing a ballet dress from the Opera Populairé with a long pretty face and her mousy brown hair in a ponytail. The second looked distinctly like Emma Watson, and had curly blonde hair with blue eyes. The third girl was truly a spectacle. She was extremely small and skinny, & had enormous shining black eyes & long black hair that nearly reached her knees. In Vega's opinion, she looked like a very large chibi.

"Monsieur de Elephantslayer?" the Emma Watson girl asked innocently.

"Yes, yes, what is it, girl?" Raoul asked impatiently.

"I – I just wanted to know if you saw Case anywhere," she said nervously. Raoul pointed dismissively in the direction of a perfectly normal boy with brown hair and brown eyes who still looked distinctively gay. The girl squealed and ran over.

"Who are you? Are you here to murder the managers, because they're fucking EVIL!" the small girl said very fast. Vega stared.

"Who the hell are you?" she asked.

"My name's Eris, and I'm a ballerina at the Operahouse, and that's Dagmara," she gestured to the tall girl who watched the Emma Watson girl with bemused interest "and that's Èlodie, and she's my best friend in the whole world…"

Here, Eris took a deep breath.

"…and we're here to learn how to stab things because Monsieur Raoul de Elephantslayer says that the pink elephants are everywhere and want us dead!" she finished.

"Why do they call you de Elephantslayer?" Mirian asked.

"Because I changed my name." Raoul said proudly. Mirian stared, as Vega began to giggle hysterically.

"There's another Raoul, but he's such an asshole, he drinks all the time and beats his pregnant wife." Eris continued.

"Yes, that Raoul has no personality whatsoever and acts like a child." Raoul said, & nodded.

"This is not the Raoul I know and love," grumbled Mirian.

"Shut up, Mirian," said Vega. "Eris, aren't you the girl in my AU story somewhere else?"

"No, I'm a different Eris. You may call me Different Eris, if you wish." Eris said.

"Okay then, Different Eris. What was I saying, Mirian?" Vega asked.

"You were talking about how you needed their help to kill evil things," said Mirian in a strained voice.

"Right, right, right. We do. So, come on." Vega then grabbed Raoul by the wrist, and began to pull him away. Mirian picked up the sack with Andrea inside and followed her, grumbling.

"WAIT!" somebody yelled. Vega, Mirian and Raoul all turned around.

"What?" asked Vega.

"The chapter title said there would be hot Phantom sex!" the person shouted.

"Oh, that? Yeah, I lied about that. Bye." They all walked out.