I left my parents with nothing but high hopes and fanciful dreams. However, I arrived in France facing a harsh reality. My fiancée had been charming enough. We had made polite conversation throughout our journey, and I imagined that, in time, our relationship would blossom into love. When I gathered enough courage to inquire about our wedding he simply laughed and stroked my cheek, "Darling, there will be no wedding." I was appalled! "No wedding, but my father…I am to be your wife," I stammered.
"Perhaps I forgot to mention how my family acquired its finances. I, along with my brothers, run a bordello. The finest in all of France! And you, belle, are guaranteed to be a best seller," he smirked glaring at me hungrily. I felt so foolish, so naïve. I believed that my life was going to border that of a fairy tale, but now it felt a horrendous nightmare, one that I would not wake up from for a long time.
My life at the de Aldridge manor was scandalous to say the least. I had no choice but to continue with this career. Returning home would shame my family, and I could not bear to see the look of disappointment on my father's face. Imagine a daughter so beautiful who could not even be sold into marriage! After arriving, I immediately began building a strong clientele list. I was nervous at first, strongly believing that sex was only something to be had in a marriage. But, eventually I loosened up and succumbed to the horrors of the job. There was to be no wedding, I belonged not to one man, but to the rich, powerful society of Paris. The other girls working there were pleasing to the eyes, but it became obvious that I was favored by Audric and his brother. I was working nearly every night, building up a staunch reputation. I had learned to block out any and all emotion. I was taught to make men believe what they wanted to believe, to live and act out their grandest desires. Some nights I was a tempting seductress, others I was a shy debutante. I was whatever they wanted me to be. I had control over these men, utter and complete control when I was in their beds. I had brought royalty, noblemen, princes, and kings to their knees! It made me feel powerful, stark, but it did not make me feel beautiful. Though it was commented on many times, beauty is not what I saw when I looked in the mirror anymore. I began to resent the word and all that it represented. After all, it was my beauty that lured men to me, that made the Vicomte decide to recruit me to his brothel.
I lived this way for 10 years, earning more money for the de Aldridge's than any other woman had. Audric adorned me with the finest clothes, the most stunning of jewels. I had to look the part of a ravishing beauty, though inwardly, I despised my looks. I had convinced myself that this life chosen for me was not so terrible. I had a roof over my head, a very fine roof at that, clothes, food, diamonds, what more could a woman want? Love? No, love was just an idea, a notion for fools. It was desire, lust that ruled the world, and I was bountiful in both.
One evening, after servicing a very noble member of the royal family, my life again had taken a sharp turn. As I was retrieving my wages and rearranging my skirts, the man who shall remain nameless' wife burst into the room. Accusing him of adultery, she threatened to have me exiled, no, killed! Of course, he did not defend me. He agreed with her, blaming me for seducing him! The family was very influential and I had no doubt that I would not survive for long if I stayed at The de Aldridge Manor. I fled that night, taking with me whatever I could carry. The cool Parisian air whipped at my face as I ran, tears soaking my rouged cheeks. I knew not where I was running to, but I knew what I was running from and that encouraged me to continue.