Love Cats
Author's Note: One-shot song fic to the lyrics of 'Love Cats' by The Cure I think…
Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei.
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We move like cagey tigers
We couldn't get closer than this
There is no way that I can spend another moment in his presence. There's just no way, no how. I feel like we're spending far too much time together, and to be honest, he's really getting on my nerves. It's all "Kyaaaaaa! Hisokaaaaa! Let's get cake!" or "You're so meeeeaaaaaaan! Meanie!". I just want some space to myself now…
Right now I could strangle him. He's come round to my apartment, he's sitting there drinking my coffee and he just won't shut up. I am so pointedly ignoring him but he just keeps going… God, if he's not eating he's talking… Hey, food might shut him up…
The way we walk
The way we talk
No, food failed. Ugh… That was disgusting… He just fell upon the cookies like a ravenous wolf… Doesn't he eat at home or something? Well, I'll just sit here while he washes down an entire packet of cookies with MY glass of soda…
There's got to be a way to make him shut the hell up.
The way we stalk
The way we kiss
That. Is. It.
"TSUZUKI JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I yell. He looks at me with startled violet eyes, his mouth hanging open.
"You just swore," He says. I nearly bang my head against the wall. He sounds like a preschooler…
"Is there anyway to make you keep quiet?" I ask. He tilts his head and the next thing I know I'm pinned down, Tsuzuki's lips against my own. I tense at first, but then I relax.
He shut up…
We slip through the streets
While everyone sleeps
After we pull apart Tsuzuki remains quiet, letting me read a book. We're actually sitting quite far apart now. He's at one end of the couch and I'm at the other. He's rather cute when he looks so sheepish… Actually, Tsuzuki is cute, until he opens his mouth and lets out the baka within…
I just wish he'd go home now… It is three in the morning after all…
Getting bigger and sleeker
And wider and brighter
"S-Sorry about that…" Tsuzuki says finally. I knew the silence wouldn't last. I waited patiently for him to say something else but he was just looking at me with those lost eyes.
"It's alright," I say, and I mean it. I have long since accepted that I am in love with Tsuzuki. After all, what is the point in pretending I'm not when it was so obvious. No one else has lasted longer than three months with him. I've lasted three years… I think I should receive a medal.
"Can I… stay here tonight?"
We bite and scratch and scream all night
Tsuzuki's butt hit the pavement quite hard… I hope he's alright… But how dare he suggest something like that! Really! There's no way that I'm having sex with him. Nuh-uh, no way, not yet. I'll leave him hanging a little longer. Anyhow, I can see Tsuzuki being a real sex fiend and I want to hold onto the cute, floaty feelings for a little longer…
I go to bed, finally…
Let's go and throw
All the songs we know...
In the office the next day it's awkward. Tsuzuki is mad at me, I can tell. The thing is, he can't confront me about it because then everyone would know why he'd come round to my house at midnight and stayed there blabbering until early morning…
He just stares at me from across the room with a frown on his face. Eventually I have enough and I disappear and go find Tatsumi or someone to talk to.
Into the sea
You and me
All these years and no one heard
It's when I return, two hours later, that Tsuzuki finally corners me alone. Tsuzuki seems different but it could just be me…
"Are we together or not?" he asks. I shrug. That really depends on how you look at it.
"I think we've gone as far as we can… I think perhaps it's time we split up and found new partners," Tsuzuki says slowly. It feels as though the air has been knocked out of me. I can't breathe. Tsuzuki's doing this because… I wouldn't sleep with him…
How is this fair?
I'll show you in spring
It's a treacherous thing
We missed you hissed the lovecats
"Because I wouldn't sleep with you! How is that fair, Tsuzuki?" I find myself yelling. I know tears are threatening to spill. There's no way that he's saying this to me.
"No, Hisoka, because you don't trust me. When we're finally getting close you always put an even greater barrier between us. I'm tired," Tsuzuki says. I can see it in his eyes that he's tired. I need to say something now… Something that will make him understand me… But what can I say… How will what I say change anything…?
We're so wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully
Wonderfully pretty!
Oh you know that I'd do anything for you...
We should have each other to tea huh?
"Don't go…" I manage to whisper. He looks at me, with tears running down my face. I bet I'm all blotchy… God, how can he even stand the sight of me…
"I'll still be around the office, Hisoka," he says. We both know it's not the same…
"Don't leave me… I promise I'll be better… I won't push you away… I'm just still so afraid that you'll hurt me…" Yes, even after three years I still can't forget the hatred of my parents… I still can't trust those who are meant to love me…
We should have each other with cream
Then curl up by the fire
And sleep for awhile
"Hisoka…" Tsuzuki moves forward and runs a hand gently over my cheek. He doesn't try to kiss me, but he stands there and lets down his barriers. Warmth floods me, and I synch with him. We try to understand the other's feelings but while they are the same, they are so different.
It feels so wonderful to be like this. This is a kind of openness that no one but an empath can experience. I let Tsuzuki prod around inside my emotions for a while, but then he stopped. He became gentle… His presence in my spirit was different, softer, more like a caress…
It felt so intoxicating…
When he removed his hand from my face I felt so sleepy. I tried to smile weakly at him to see what his reaction was but he had lifted me up and carried my to his desk. He sat in his chair and draped me across his lap before both of us fell asleep.
It's the grooviest thing
It's the perfect dream
Hand in hand
Is the only way to land
I think it was then that Tsuzuki realised that there really was no way for us to part without heartbreak. It was a dream come true for us to be together… Even if we're not having sex, standing together surely counts for something?
And always the right way round
Not broken in pieces
Like hated little meeces...
We can't be happy on our own. It is then that we are broken. Muraki isolated me. Whatever happened to Tsuzuki isolated him. We were torn apart by ourselves, unable to feel whole without someone constantly telling us we are worth something. But we have each other…
How could we miss
Someone as dumb as this?
I love you... let's go...
Oh... solid gone...
How could we miss
Someone as dumb as this?
End Notes: Don't ask. I don't know. I just really love the song… Especially the line about having someone with cream… I'm making a webpage and I want a love cats template… At the moment it's a CCS layout but a cute little picture of Tsuzuki and Hisoka with the lyrics behind would be so cute… Alas, I know no web design… Oh well… Back to writing some other fanfiction…
A word from the author's pet idiot: Once upon a time there were three blind mice. One drove a car and crashed. The moral of this story is mice can't really drive.