A/N: Thanks for hanging in there! Expect more frequent updates!
The drive to work had been silent except for Zola babbling and singing from the backseat. Now that their daughter is safely trouncing around in daycare, however, Derek is free to let loose his anger and annoyance at Meredith's actions yesterday. Not that she's listening. She just wants his damn hand fixed.
"Meredith–,'' Derek argues as she shrugs on her lab coat. "The chances of–"
"I'm not listening." She fills her pockets with the necessary pens and highlighters, tucks the stethoscope in her left pocket, checks her pager and dumps it in her right pocket, and marches down the hall to the main desk to get her patient reports for the day.
"Come on," Derek groans behind her. His sneakers squeak as he runs to catch up, but she is utterly ignoring him. He wants to make this into a thing, but she's not biting. She has absolutely no regrets calling his sisters. Let the chips fall, cay sera, sera or whatever.
The unit nurse plonks down her admission logs and pre-round checklist. Meredith grabs a pen and signs a few last minute forms.
"Meredith–" Derek starts again, "My sisters– Hey you!" Derek calls out.
Meredith snaps her head up to see Brooks, AKA Mousey jog by, arms full of patient charts. The young intern stops and turns, her eyes going wide in the universal 'who me?' expression.
"Yeah. You." Derek confirms.
Mousey gulps. "Dr. Shep–"
"Did you, or did you not, shut things down with my sisters yesterday?"
Meredith scoffs. Oh, he is so not going around her. "Don't bring Brooks into this," she tells him without looking up from her paperwork.
"You brought Brooks into this!"
She spins away from the desk to face her husband. "They are your family, and they want to help you. Right?" Meredith appeals to Mousey.
The intern's eyebrows furrow in confusion. Then she nods. "Ohhh, you're asking me. Of course. They seemed willing to help."
"Of course they want to help me, I practically raised them," Derek snarls. "But if my sisters find out that I need help–" He waves the thought away, "who did you call so I can call them and shut this thing down?"
"Don't tell him that," Meredith tells Mousey.
"Don't tell her not to tell me," Derek rebuts.
"All right, enough!" Mousey snaps. Her head whips to Derek. "You know that live nerves are better than dead ones, even I know that, and I'm an intern. And you," she turns to Meredith, her gaze afire. "You put me in a really awkward position yesterday. You just threw me to the wolves. Not that your sisters are wolves," she says to Derek, "but they are out for blood. They are furious with you that you didn't call them yourself. And they told me some things, okay? Unkind things, and now I know stories about you. And you too–" she points to Meredith– "that I don't want to know. And I don't want to be in on your secrets or your fights. It makes me really, really uncomfortable."
Meredith is stunned. Okay, Brooks needs a new nickname, she's definitely not Mousey anymore.
"Let me guess, your parents had a really messy divorce and always put you in the middle," says a voice from down the hall.
Meredith looks beyond Brooks and sees a tall, bold, brunette woman approaching them. From Derek's shocked reaction, Meredith surmises it must be one of his sisters, though she has no idea which one. At least it's not Nancy.
"Liz. One of the wolves," she says to the poor intern, reaching out to shake her hand, "You must be Heather Brooks."
Turning to Meredith and Derek, she says, "Good to see you Mer. I hope you got some baby pictures handy because I did not take the redeye just so my brother could hack my nerves into hamburger meat."
"And neither did I," says another voice, coming up behind Liz. Meredith stares, shocked. Sisters, she expects, but–
Derek's jaw drops. "Ma."
Carolyn smiles broadly. "Now, where is Zola? I've been dying to meet my youngest grandchild."
xxx
Meredith reluctantly leads Carolyn down to the daycare while Derek and Liz track down Jackson for a consult. It's not that she doesn't want Zola to meet her grandmother, it's just that the daycare workers have been giving her the speech about all the interruptions lately. Visiting Zola and then leaving suddenly makes things difficult for them, and Meredith hates making trouble.
The wide window of the daycare gives a good view of about ten children. Preschoolers, toddlers, and a few infants are happily engaging in many various activities. Zola is in the corner with a kid-sized shopping cart, seemingly in an intense discussion with a little boy who wants something of hers.
"So," Meredith begins, "The daycare workers might not want us to stay, because–"
"I could take her for the day," Carolyn offers. "The weather is beautiful outside, and I saw a park just across the street."
Meredith hesitates. It's still a full day at work for her, plus her ultrasound appointment. She wants to trust Carolyn with her baby, she does. Obviously Carolyn has plenty of experience with kids. It's just…Mamabear instincts, she supposes.
"You don't know how happy I was to hear that you adopted a little girl," Carolyn adds. "That picture you sent was so adorable. I was hoping to meet her last year, but we didn't hear from you. It's like you and Derek just dropped off the face of the earth."
The subtle guilt trip does not go unnoticed. "Well, with the plane crash and everything–"
"Of course, I understand. But Meredith, like it or not, we are family."
Meredith sighs. She's left the extended family stuff to Derek to handle, but in many ways he's as bad as she is with moms and sisters. The Shepherd family is different from anything she knew growing up. They are a big, lovely, noisy, family that gets all up in each other's business, rivalling for attention like surgery-hungry interns. Just how is she supposed to handle that? She had a hard enough time with the one half-sister she did have. Frankly, she's not sure she wants to be included in the Shepherd sister pack.
"I care about you, Meredith. That's all," Carolyn says, watching Zola attempt to make a new friend by offering a toy to the little boy.
Carolyn is right. Now is not the time to be shutting out family, no matter how pesky they are. And the park is Zola's favorite. "Okay," Meredith breathes. "I'll go sign her out." She knocks on the door to the daycare and enters, briefly disrupting them.
"Mama!" Zola calls, dropping everything to run to her.
"Hi, baby! There's someone special to meet you!" she says.
When Clara, the daycare worker approaches, Meredith explains. "Zola's grandmother is here, so we're gonna take her for the rest of the day."
She's directed to sign her out and everyone says goodbye to Zola.
"Hi Zola!" Carolyn gushes upon seeing her.
"Do you know who this is, Zola? This is Grandma. Can you say Grandma?"
Zola stares curiously at her grandma, sizing up a new playmate.
"She's a little shy, but she'll warm up to you." Meredith tells Carolyn. To her daughter, she says, "Zola, Grandma is your Daddy's mommy, did you know that? She's been wanting to see you since we adopted you. She loves you very much!"
Zola's still shy and presses her face into Meredith's shoulder.
"Can you say hi Grandma? Say hi!"
"Hiii," Zola says after an impressively long minute.
"Good girl!"
After some coaxing and cajoling, and plenty of compliments and love from Carolyn, Zola finally starts to accept her grandmother.
"Who's your favorite character on Dora?" Meredith asks.
"Ackback!" Zola squawks.
"That's right! Backpack!"
Meredith spends a few more minutes settling Zola in with Carolyn. When they seem comfortable with each other, she hands Zola's diaper bag over.
"Okay, Mommy's gotta go to work, so Grandma's gonna take you to the park, does that sound good?"
"Go park?"
"Yeah, the one across the street with the big slide, remember that?"
"Side?"
"Grandma loves slides. Do you love slides, Zola?" Carolyn asks.
"Go on da side?"
"That's right, Grandma will take you on the slide."
"Go side!" Zola claps.
"Okay," Meredith says. "There's toys and snacks and extra diapers and clothes in the bag. Um… we're potty training her, but don't worry about it too much–"
"Quite all right, I've raised five all at once. A few hours with Zola is a piece of cake. Right Zola?"
"Cake?" Zola's eyes dart to her mother. There's cake?
"Great," says Meredith, hiding her anxiousness. She doesn't know why she feels this way… This is Derek's mother. She's like, supermom. Okay, maybe that's why. What if Zola turns into a franken toddler on Carolyn? Then she'll know Meredith is not mother material. She shakes her head. That sounds stupid. Zola is a great kid.
"How about we meet at the cafeteria for lunch?" Carolyn offers.
"Lunch, sure. Yeah, okay." It'll give her a chance to check in and make sure Zola's in good hands and Carolyn hasn't been worn out by the energetic toddler. Cause she looks sweet and nice at first, but after a few minutes outside–
"All right, darling, let's put your jacket on." Carolyn says, handing her the little purple windbreaker.
"Okay Zo, Mommy's going now. Be nice to Grandma. Bye-bye," she waves.
"Bye-bye," Zola says distractedly as she attempts to put her shoes on.
Meredith steps back then turns the hall and around the corner. Out of their sight, she stops and takes a deep breath. Why does she feel like crying? Must be hormones. Anyway, she has a nerve donation and a simmering sibling feud to facilitate. She quickly texts Derek, hoping he hasn't scared away Liz.
xxx
In the conference room on the surgical floor, Jackson sits near Liz with a pad of paper displaying a pencilled diagram of the surgical plan. "You'll likely experience some discomfort in your leg for a few weeks," he's saying.
"Months. Months," Derek iterates, while pacing the carpeted floor. Clearly he's quite uncomfortable with his sister going under the knife. "And when he says discomfort, it's gonna hurt like hell."
"Well you're a bag of sunshine aren't you?" Lizzie goads.
"I don't want to hear six months from now that you can't move, and the ibuprofen hurts your stomach!"
"He makes me sound like I'm a 90 year old man, have you noticed that?" she says to Jackson.
"Because I've heard for decades how I've ruined your life-" Derek rants.
"Because you did!"
"And that mom doesn't love you."
"Because she doesn't!"
"I don't want to hear about this–"
God, it's like watching a Wimbledon tennis match. Meredith's eyeballs have whiplash now. But Lizzie persists. "I think what you're trying to say, is: Thank you Lizzie, for cutting off a leg and giving it to me."
"Ah here it is, this is how it's gonna go down in history," Derek stabs the table. "It is a nerve, it is not the entire leg."
Meredith rolls her eyes. Derek's being difficult on purpose. He's scared, she gets that, but really, what choice does he have? Still, Lizzie doesn't have to mock him. "Okay," she cuts in. "Let's focus. Jackson?"
Jackson, the only objective party, says, "I think Dr. Shepherd's right. If you're unsure, we–"
"Oh come on, I'm just winding him up because it is so easy," Lizzie smirks. "Just give me the form."
Jackson regards her, "Okay."
She smoothly signs the consent form while Derek continues to pace like a caged wolf. She drops the pen. "Now, can I hang out with Zola in daycare?" she asks Derek.
Meredith's internal mamabear perks up. "I'm sorry, I just let her go to the park with your mom," she says.
Disappointment slathers Liz's expression, because, really, the only reason she came here was to see Zola. But Derek has more grace than Meredith. He bends down and gives his sister a kiss on the top of her head, as if their argument never happened. "I will bring her to you later," he says.
xxx
After a few consults, it's lunchtime, and Meredith makes her way into the Cafeteria. She searches for Carolyn and Zola. Not seeing them, she strolls over to Cristina and April's table. Halfway there, Cristina speaks to April and April leaps out of her chair and leaves in a huff.
"What was that about?" Meredith asks, dropping her tray down and pulling out a chair.
"I mentioned April doing the hippity dippity with Jackson in a closet and she freaked," Cristina replies.
"Cruel," Meredith chuckles.
Cristina shrugs and munches on a fry. It's been weird between them lately. Cristina and Owen's marriage is on the rocks, and in the midst of it, Meredith's been too preoccupied to reach out. She spent a couple nights at Cristina's place, but kicking her person in bed during a PTSD nightmare doesn't helping. She doesn't know how to help, and now Cristina knows something's up with her.
But Meredith doesn't know how to bring up all the stuff that's come up in the last couple months. Should she even tell her? She should tell her something. Maybe she could tell her about the baby. That would be good, right?
"What?" Cristina asks.
Oops, she's doing the staring thing. She opens her mouth to say something, anything. I'm pregnant. But she can't, she just can't. She hasn't even had the ultrasound yet. What if she miscarried and didn't even know it? "Nothing."
"Okay." Cristina frowns. "So, I hear McMama is here."
Meredith stabs her salad. "McMama and McSister."
"Which one? McBitchy?" she asks, referring to Nancy.
"More like McAnnoying," she says. She doesn't dislike Liz. In fact, she's very thankful that she's here, but Liz sure knows how to press Derek's buttons, making it hard for him to accept this gift. She is also obsessed with Zola, and Meredith doesn't know what to think about that, yet.
"Speaking of McMama…" Cristina nods across the cafeteria to the duo making their way over. Carolyn holds Zola's hand while balancing a tray of food as the toddler leads her through the maze of tables toward them.
Zola sees Meredith, "Mama!" she shrieks. That happy shriek will never grow old to Meredith's ears.
"Hey lovebug!" Meredith replies, opening her arms wide to accept her as she scrambles toward her through the crowded tables.
Cristina, watching Carolyn approach, leans in."You good?" She asks, code for should I fake an emergency to get you out of this?
Meredith appreciates it, but as long as her daughter is here she'll be fine. Zola is her saving grace. "I'm good."
"Good. Cause you know I don't do mamas." Cristina grumbles.
That earns a smirk from Meredith as she stabs her salad again. "I know."
"Well. I've got to go, I'm scrubbing in with Owen, " Cristina bids her leave to allow Carolyn to take her place across from Meredith.
"Okay," Meredith pauses. "Cristina?"
"Yeah?"
"You good?" You can talk to me, you know. Meredith is checking in.
"I'm good." Don't wanna talk about it.
Zola clambers onto Meredith's lap, replacing her view of the cafeteria with her dark cherubic face instead. She instantly smiles as she takes on her solid weight. "Did you have fun with Grandma at the park?"
"Gamma went on da side wif me."
"She did? Was that fun?"
"Uh huh." Zola takes an apple slice from Meredith's tray and stuffs it into her mouth.
"She was great," Carolyn adds. "Not a problem at all. She really loves that park."
"Good." Meredith smiles. They often go there after work while she or Derek wait for each other. But Derek's been home a lot more lately, so Zola hasn't been there in a while.
"How did the consult go?"
"There's still some scans and bloodwork, but it looks like everything's a go," she replies, not mentioning the sibling war she witnessed.
"I'm glad."
Meredith gives Zola another apple slice to munch on, having no idea what to say next. She's not a chatty person, Derek is the chatty person in the family. Where is he anyway? He and Liz are supposed to meet them.
"Any plans tonight?" Carolyn asks.
"Plans?"
"For Thanksgiving, dear."
Crap. She'd forgotten until now. "Uh," Meredith falters. No Thanksgiving, she'd told Derek. That was the plan tonight, but–
"Do you not celebrate? I'm surprised. Thanksgiving is always a Shepherd tradition, I would have thought Derek–"
"Uh, we just, um–" Crap, crap, crap. She doesn't want a thing, and now there's McMama and McAnnoying expecting entertainment. Crap! Why today?
"How about I bake a ham? I could pick one up and some sweet potatoes… Do you have corn at your house? Well, never mind, a couple cans of creamed corn won't cost much. Derek loves it–" Carolyn rattles on, ignorant of Meredith's panic.
Now there's going to be a thing. She doesn't want a thing. After the ultrasound today, she will not be in the mood for a thing!
"We'll invite your friends, that girl here earlier, Cristina, right? Does she have a husband or boyfriend? I'm sure she would love to come. Maybe Lexie–"
Whoa, Lexie? Lexie? "Lexie's–"
"Oh!" Carolyn pops a hand over her mouth. "I just realized. I'm so sorry Meredith, I didn't mean to–"
"No, I know, I know." Meredith swallows. It's heart-wrenching, but there are many days she's forgotten Lexie is gone. Today isn't one. "You know, I just…" she hugs Zola for strength. "I can't… I have to go," she blurts. She can't do this, be the nice sociable one. "Zola, let's go to the potty, and then we can go see Daddy. What do you think?"
"Daddy!"
"Liz wanted to see Zola. So, I should–" Meredith stands and gestures to the exit. "I'll ask Derek to come and t-talk to you about the thing. Thanksgiving or whatever."
"Meredith," Carolyn calls after her, but she pays no heed.
xxx
Zola sits comfortably on her hip as she carries her through the halls of radiology, searching for her husband. Jackson had ordered an MRI of Liz's calves for the procedure, so it's very likely Derek's hovering around here somewhere…
Suddenly, he bursts from the imaging lab. "No! We're not cutting both her legs to remove pieces! Cancel the procedure!"
What the hell?
"Derek!" Meredith calls. But he's too fast and doesn't see her as he bolts down the hall.
Crap.
A/N: Thank you everyone for reading! I am working hard to finish this story, so follow for update notifications! Next chapter will be up soon!