Title: Though the years
Author: LupinLovesTonks
Rated: PG13-R
Warnings: Contains language and some sexual situations and innuendo
Summary: She had known him since she was a small child... and dreamed of the day she might be able to marry him... But, would Remus Lupin ever grow to see Nymphadora Tonks as more than the little five year old that would follow him and Sirius around?

Chapter Three
Lessons
"That witch there, oh my gosh, ssslut," the girl next to her laughed. "I mean, she tried to seduce Professor Snape just to get a good grade in potions."

Tonks wrinkled her nose as she prodded at the meat on her sandwich. "Oh come now, he wouldn't have been nearly as bad if he didn't grease his hair everyday." She picked the meat off and set it to the side then tossed the lettuce and cheese back between the bread. "I thought I told you I didn't eat meat?"

"Sorry Tonks, they wanted to be stupid at the food line," the girl commented. "Your finals for Stealth and such are next week. Think you can manage Miss Twinkle-Toes?"

Tonks gave a cocky smile. "Bridgette, your finals for concealment and disguise are next week, think you can manage Miss I-Poisoned-Three-People-With-Veritaserum?"

Her friend pressed her lips together tightly and looked around the luncheon area for the Ministry. Bridgette gave a weak faint of sorts around her sandwich and immediately removed it from her mouth. "Is today Thursday, Tonks? Please tell me today is Thursday and that I am not hallucinating."

"Um, it's Friday and you must be hallucinating if you think you're seeing what excites you every Thursday," Tonks replied. "Otherwise I wouldn't be here, remember? I'd still be in my concealment studies."

Bridgette patted her arm repeatedly. "Remember how I told you there was this really cute werewolf that comes in for his support thing every Thursday at lunch?" Tonks nodded. "He's here today. And it looks like he's here to talk to Fudge and Dumbledore. Hmm, odd. God If I knew my entire family wouldn't disown me for it. I'd have that werewolf at my flat tonight."

Tonks snorted slightly. "Bridgette, werewolves don't parttake in one night stands. Did you never listen in Defense Against Dark Arts? They're solitary creatures and only have one mate their whole life, so they're very picky."

"Oh shut up Miss I-Know-All-About-Werewolves," Bridgette scoffed. "Don't ruin a girl's day dreams. Just look at him," Bridgette gave a wistful sigh and completely ignored her lunch as she oggled the werewolf.

Tonks looked in the direction Bridgette was nodding toward. Her heart froze. "Remus," she said quietly. She wasn't sure how long she had kept her eyes on him, just that she could hear her heart pounding in her ears as she did so. Even when their eyes met and held contact for several moments, she didn't drag her gaze away.

He looked much older than she remembered. Of course, the last time she had seen him was on her sixteenth birthday so that would explain the vast amount of grey that had been added to his hair, the extra lines of worry and stress around his eyes. In spite of it, he still looked as handsome as she remembered.

She blinked slowly. When she opened her eyes, he was gone and she noticed Bridgette was jabbing her in the arm with mild stunning spells, leaving her arm rather numb. She finally made sense of the babbling Bridgette was saying. "He's coming over here. Oh my god. Look at him Tonks. It'n he gor- Oh shit he's coming to join us."

Tonks shook her head to clear it as Remus took a seat across from them. "My, my, my... fancy seeing you here Nymphadora," he greeted with a mild smile. She heard Bridgette give a small whimper.

Tonks stared at him a moment before bringing herself back to reality. "Remus. Hi. I, haven't seen you in a - long time. This is Bridgette, she's dumb don't mind her. Bridgette, this is my old friend Remus."

"H-he-hey," Bridgette breathed, shaking Remus' hand.

"It's been a while Remus," Tonks pointed out. "Almost ten years right?" She looked over at Bridgette. "Don't you have to go check your polyjuice potion?"

"Right," Bridgette nodded and quickly excused herself.

Tonks snickered. "That girl is more talk than action, should have heard what she was saying she'd do to you if she could get you to her flat." She reached across in anticipation of taking his hands in hers, however he pulled his hands away and put them in his lap the moment she moved to do so. "Ah, still afraid I'll try to seduce you?"

Remus shook his head. "No. It's just - been too long for something so personal..." his eyes swept over her casually. "Love the hair. It's- different."

Tonks shrugged. "I'm young, single, carefree. Why not have my hair short spikey and green?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I've - stopped the drinking," he gave a faint smile. "And, that I'm sorry I never came back to your home after that day. You must understand, seeing you - as her - Was too much."

"Yeeeah," Tonks nodded. "I realize that now Remy. I'm over it and all. It's good that you quit drinking. I'm happy for you. I really am."

She didn't know why she was suddenly feeling very uncomfortable around him. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the last time she had seen him he'd seemed so young and now he just felt so - old. All she knew was that her skin was crawling.She had never thought there would be a day Remus would be old enough to feel remorse over his actions.

He wouldn't let her touch him. He'd abandoned her. She struggled to get out of her seat, tripping over the chair slightly as she did so. "I have to get back to my training."

"I know," he said with a slight smile.

He still has the same smile though. Suddenly her skin wasn't crawling and she wasn't wanting to shake herself to death with nervousness. "How do you 'know'?"

Remus shrugged slightly. "Word has it you're very promising but have a small problem with stealth... Fudge himself Floo'd up Dumbledore and he got me a task tutoring you." Remus shrugged. "Sort of a pre-requiset before I attempt any real teaching jobs again. And Fudge figures since Dumbledore trusts me and all my vaccinations are up to par that it would be alright for a werewolf to help you."

"Great," Tonks said, barely moving her lips. "Werewolf humour, I had forgotten how funny you could be."

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you," Remus said casually. He stood up. "Just bare in mind they're seeing if I can still adequately teach young people. If I do good with you then Dumbledore wants me to go to Hogwarts."

She slowly took her seat again. "Oh, that's right, you were a teacher before Ja-" her voice trailed off. His eyes darkened and she knew that he'd known why she'd stopped. He hadn't really taught since the death of his friends.

Remus also retook his seat. "The question is, are you willing to be my guinea pig? I haven't taught in many years."

"What makes Fudge think you could do good at teaching me stealth?" She folded her arms on the table in front of her and leaned toward him.

"Dumbledore pointed out that werewolves, by nature, are hunters," Remus replied, mimicking her seating. "Rather effective hunters to boot."

"Going to be teaching me to hunt bunnies are we Remy?" Tonks teased. She was somewhat amazed how she didn't seem to mind the fact he'd not spoken to her since she was sixteen. Instead, she had slipped right back into her usual playful manner with him, and for once he was actually playful back.

Remus gave a crooked smile. "Actually Nymphy, you're going to have to try and keep me from hunting you down."

888

Her face hit the dirt as she was hit with yet another low grade stunning spell from behind. She spit the dirt out of her mouth and turned onto her back. "Dammit Remus. What did I do wrong this time?"

"Silencing charm on your feet does not equal silencing the leaves and sticks you step on or the curses you yell when you trip over a tree root," Remus teased. "Unless you know how to silence nature itself, I wouldn't recommend silencing charms. An invisibility cloak may help you but -" he shook his head slowly and tsked. "You'd probably trip over the ends of it."

Tonks winced as Remus pulled her to her feet. "You just wait you bully," she groaned, rubbing her shoulder where the stunning spell had hit. "I'm drinking milk and one day I'll bat-bogey hex you while you're not looking and then run the other way before you can catch me. That stunner hurt."

"Bare in mind they're not called pleasure spells Nymphad-"

"Tonks," she growled. "I go by Tonks now, Lupin."

"At any rate, Nymphadora... They aren't called pleasure spells... they're stunning spells and can be expected to hurt somewhat..." Remus commented. "And that's Professor Lupin to you missy. Try again." He apparated away then re-apparated. "And you might want to consider going some place else otherwise I'll be able to find you rather easily. again."

After he disappeared again, Tonks frowned. "Smartass," she muttered, walking ahead. She came into a clearing in the room that had been enchanted to be a forest. For some reason she felt she knew the woods. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

Boys! Sirius! James! Remy! I fell down... wait for me!

Tonks gasped when her mind had decided to go back to that day in her childhood. She opened her eyes and suddenly she recognized the trees and the entire feel of the false forest. It was the same woods she had been racing through trying to catch up with the boys as they got the hair brained idea to try and get her lost.

It was that day she had always wanted to block from her memory. She hadn't ever stepped foot in the woods close to her house since that day. She'd even gone as far as stopping her usual tramping along behind the boys when they would go out "marauding", as they called it...

Nymphadora... can you hear me?

But, she also always remembered seeing that it had ben Remus that had been concerned enough to go back and find her. He'd been the one to answer she she'd yelled about being lost.

"Remus!" Tonks cried out, starting to tremble and breathe forcablly. "I'm lost!" She was starting to panick. If she had never noticed they were modelled after the woods at home, she wouldn't have panicked.

"You're a big girl now Nymphadora," Remus' voice echoed through the woods. "I'm not helping you, you have to do it on your own this time. Try not to let it get to you."

"How do I do that Remus? You know these woods scare me because of what James and Sirius did..."

She jumped as she heard a pop behind her. She turned, wand at the ready. Her breathing was heavy due to her panicked state. She backed into something solid and gasped as she felt a warm breath against her ear.

"Close your eyes..." Remus whispered. "Open... your mind... Con-cen-trate..."

There was another pop and she fell onto her rear end. "This isn't fair Remus!" she yelled, tossing some of the dead leaves out of frustration. "You're taking advantage of the situation. You know I hate the woods at home. This is not teaching, this is playing with my bloody mind!" She struggled to her feet and brushed the dirt off her clothes.

"Which is precisely why I chose it for your training arena," Remus said, from where he was propped beside a tree, on the other side of the clearing. He was holding his wand in his hands, each end against a palm. "You face your fears, you face your weaknesses. Your only fear growing up was this forest. To some, the forest represents the darkest and deepest desires of our primative self. One would assume you feared those deepest and darkest desires."

She stood there, holding her wand tightly in her hand, trying to control her breathing. "I'm not scared of anything," she insisted through clenched teeth.

"I hated the woods as well Nymphadora. That's why I went back to you. So you would know you had someone to protect you, that's how I would get over my own fears. What I want to know is, what part of your mortal desires do you fear to the point that you can hardly control your emotions, that you have these panic attacks? And since it's only the woods at your home that you were afraid of - and yes I heard about all your adventures in the Forbidden Forest - one would assume that you feared something from home, or some desire that stems from your home that frightens you beyond any measure."

She was becoming annoyed with his cool and calm demeanor, not to mention he was turning her fear into something psychological to do with home. She wanted to tell him that she didn't fear anything about home. No, she wanted to tell him that she feared losing him, she feared not having the person that drove away the monsters. She feared him rejecting her and denying her that protection that she had grown accustomed to as a child.

"This is supposed to be a lesson on stealth," she pointed out.

Remus stood up straight and put away his wand. He strolled casually over to her. "One thing you need to know, fears give you away more than any noise. It causes a distortion in the energies that surround you and shine a beacon for anything evil that seeks you. So by all means this is a lesson to help you with the stealth. Conqour your fears, you conqour your problems. Only then will I be able to help you with the little clumsiness problem."

He studied her face for a long moment then lightly kissed her forehead. Her bottom lip trembled as she flung her arms around his waist. At first, Remus didn't seem to know what to do, but then he hesitantly hugged her around her shoulders and petted her hair.

"My greatest fear was that you would always see me as some annoying little five year old that wanted to follow you around and wanted you to protect me," Tonks admitted. She wasn't sure why she was telling him, all she knew was that she wanted him to know. Even though she knew her telling him so would never amount to anything other than a mild friendship again, she told him. "But my deepest desire was for you to protect me, and love me."

She felt Remus give a slight laugh. "I figured that much on your sixteenth birthday. I- I think I feared losing you as well. I felt you were trying so hard to be like Lily that you were becoming less like yourself." He pulled back slightly and looked down at her. "And when you made yourself look like her. It hurt me that I had somehow made you want to force yourself to be her just to get my fancy."

Tonks sniffled slightly and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her robe. "How did you know that's what I wanted?"

Remus frowned slightly. "Werewolves, even in their mortal form, have heightened senses. And when a woman, such as yourself, is wanting something of the nature you were wanting that day... They give off a certain - shall we say, scent - some men, even ones that aren't werewolves can sense it. Werewolves smell it and react to it if it's something they're desiring at the time, and they go right mad until they can get it or they can't smell it anymore."

She looked at him confused. "'If it's something they're desiring at the time'?" she asked quietly.

Remus gave a soft laugh. "That night was a full moon, Nymphadora. And werewolves always have the desire for a mate. The wolf saw Lily, the wolf saw his mate. That's all he cared about. Lucky for both of us I still had some sort of control over the wolf."

"I only changed into Lily because I wanted to be perfect for you. And I knew you had loved her so much and I wanted you to be able to have her back. I just wanted to be perfect."

He kissed her forehead again. "You already are, kid. You already are." He gave her an affectionate, almost fatherly, smile and pulled away quickly. "Now that you don't have the beacon of fear shining all around you. Mind your feet so that they don't trip over anything. Including your other foot. And lets see if you can find me before I find you. If you find me first, you will get a reward. Think you can manage?"

Tonks gave a slight nod and smiled after Remus apparated away. She looked at her hands and sighed softly. They weren't shaking. Her breathing was even somewhat normal. Taking a look around she realized, she wasn't afraid anymore.

Of anything.

AN: Thanks for all the reviews everyone. You have no idea how much I appreciate them.

Peetje: Thanks for complimenting my 5 year old Nymphie. I haven't been around five year olds for a while so I was worried I wouldn't portray one right, so I just went on the basic behaviour one of my neices had at that age. And, as far as I know, the first two chapters will be the only ones that consist of a younger Nymphadora, chapter three and up deals with "grown up" Nymphadora, though I do plan a few "flashbacks" in later chapters.

Alli-Baby: Yeah, I know. But the main reason she doesn't is that we're going to later learn that something Remus told her when she was young is the reason she never makes herself older. ;-)

starnat: I'll do my best!

Mac1: I've read MBAWTFT. Basically, my concept of werewolves are a mix of Rowlings ideas of werewolves and a mix of lycanothropy. In mainstream lycanothropy the werewolf gene is a dominate feature in genetics and there is a strong possibility that it will be passed down to the children of werewolves (a bit like a cancer, so to speak). And thanks for reading my fics! I've seen your reviews on a few of them.

Livae: Thank you. As for right now I am still working on this one. I'm up to chapter five but I'm going in and doing some minor editting to them and tweaking before I post them.

Spaztic-lassie: Yeah I like the idea of Remus/Lily too... it's a bit of an obvious pre-james/lily pairing that I am fond of. Unfortunately, the only fic I update with freakishly long chapters is A Heart Once Given lol.

klutzyviolet: gives tissues Don't cry! Thank you for the review! As mentioned above, I am planning more updates soon!