Chapter 1: First classes. (Perspective of Sirius Black)

Breakfast in the morning was the usual deal; Remus held Arabella while James held Lily. Typically, I watched across the hall to one Winifred Wilkes, with whom I was currently engaged in a 'courtship,' though perhaps the term wasn't totally proper. What we have is sort of a strange situation.

I ate thirteen helpings of scrambled eggs, and about fifteen strips of bacon. That must be the only strange thing about this morning; I didn't salt my eggs and I only ate fifteen strips of bacon. Recently I've been rather intolerant of salt, it seems to not want to be in my system. But I did find out that eggs sans salt are pretty good! If only they had some tabasco sauce. There's something else on the table, I guess it's a gift from the new teacher, who supposedly gave a list of suggestions to the House Elves over the summer. I know because last night James grabbed some food for us.

I am confused, however, as to why there's no serving spoon to the tomato, I suppose it's a soup. It appears to be made mostly of tomatoes (my favorite vegetable, even though it's a berry), though there are also onions, cilantro, and some unidentified green hunks. I decide I'd better taste it with my spoon first, before ladeling it onto my plate anyway.

Big mistake.

Everyone around me is laughing as I wolf down a pitcher of orange juice, trying to sooth the burning sensation in my mouth. I mean, I've had spicy foods before, but this, this is something else. I'd like it, in moderation. The new teacher was watching me spoon this stuff down my mouth, and he had a knowing smirk on his face. Hope it isn't there too long, or I'll have to prank it off.

In response to having the mickey taken out of me, I pour the salsa down James' shirt. Another year, another detention.

I had my last helping of eggs with this paste on it, instead of tabasco, and I find a new way to eat eggs. Looks like that new teacher's getting itching powder in his drawers drawer.

The bell rings, and I suppose I need to go to my next class; N.E.W.T. Defense. I head down the now familier halls, and notice that many, many Slytherins are giving me rather harsh looks. I suppose they noticed the salt the house elves 'accidently' put into their food. James gives me that look, and I give him an innocent face.

"I suppose the elves screwed up. There's a first time for everything, right?"

"You know I'm not that thick, Padfoot."

"Not at all, Prongs. I saw you with Lily last year, you're plenty thick enough."

James hit me. Why did he do that? I would've hit him back, except the door to the classroom opened. The teacher didn't come out, so we went in. I took a seat in the back, Peter. We still weren't talking to moony for selling us out. Lily sat up front, because she's an over achiever like that, and James followed her, as well as Remus. Arabella and Gwen didn't get the required 'E' on their O.W.L. to take N.E.W.T. defense, so they weren't in the class. Cassidy Kinkade sat next to Brownyn, and Meeks sat next to Lily. We had this class with Ravenclaw this year, though last year we were alone.

The teacher sat at his desk reading a magezine. He flipped a page, holding his wand in his left hand.

"Wonder if he even knows we're here?" Peter said.

"I don't know. I'd leave and see what he does, but what if this is a trap?"

"What are the chances that this is a trap?"

"I'd say pretty low; this is a school."

The bell rang, and I don't even know how it happened, but I was on my feet along with James, and the rest of the class was suddenly hanging by their ankles.

"Low chance this is a trap, huh? Either you were wrong or we're bloody unlucky." Peter said.

I, however, was focused on the teacher, who still had his wand in his left hand. Taking the offensive, I thought 'levicorpus' and swished my wand at him. Without speaking, he deflected the spell right at James, who was completely caught by surprise when this second spell came that he hung by his ankles next to his girlfriend, who was holding her skirt up near her knees. I would've thought the teacher was perverted, except that everyone who's had a potions class knows that skirts aren't really the best leg-coverings for Hogwarts. And he proved that he would give no deferential treatment.

The ground exploded at my feet, and in my surprise, the dust cleared and I saw myself inverted. I opened my mouth to speak but no sound came out.

"Disappointing. I've heard that you all use this spell as a tool of harassment amongst yourselves, yet you don't bother yourself with learning how to stop it. Do you subscribe to the theory of the muggles? If he attacks me, at least I'll have enough time to take him out? At least James Potter and Sirius Black managed to defend themselves. The rest of you, I hope you like an upside down and silent view of today's class, because you aren't coming down and you aren't allowed to take notes. Today we will be covering what we'll do this year."

I was let down, along with James. I suppose he does have preferential treatment; to those who can and will defend themselves.

"This year, I will be teaching you how to deal with dark wizards, and not only that, I will be teaching you all about dueling. We will have duels between each other, and once a week you will have a dueling test against me. All these duels will be to the incapacitation, by stun, by surrender, by injury (though you will be given detentions), any method other than those that would lead to the death of your opponent. If you defeat me, I will give you an O for the entire year, and you will not receive detention from me and you will not have to come back to my class. I guarantee you will not beat me."

Fat chance. Can't wait to prove him wrong.

"Of the many spells that will be key in your training, the main ones are the stunning spell (Stupefy), this hex I used, (levicorpus), the universal anti-jinx and minor counter spell (Finite Incantatem), many transfigurations and conjurations, extenguishing charms, water producing charms, the destruction curse (Reducto) and the repairing charm (Reparo.)"

The teacher droned on. The only spell there I was unfamiliar with was the universal anti-jinx. I've heard about the spell before, but I've never tried it. It's supposed to basically end all hexes and curses, and counter some spells before they even touch you. The teacher continued on about dragons, illusion charms, polymorhpic spells, and something called 'baleful polymorph.' I didn't really listen. He also said something about verbal spells, but I didn't really pay attention. For the rest of the two-hour class he had James and I study from a book, while everyone else watched from their upside down view. The assignment was worth ten points. I got an eight.

First time I beat Lily Evans ever.

"That wasn't fair at all. You'd think he'd at least let us down! But the way he wouldn't even tell us what the homework was. I saw him move his mouth, but I didn't hear the words." Lily was still moaning about Professor McCadell.

"Really? That's a spell? Cause History of Magic's been the same way for years."

"No, I think that's you child-like attention span." James said.

"Maybe Lily's developed my attention span?" I asked.

Lily became pissed. "No. I can pay attention fine. It's that stupid Professor McCadell's fault. He used a spell on my, I know it. I asked him after class, but he ignored me!"

"I wish I could ignore you right now." I said. "I'm sure James wishes he could to, but he's going out with you..."

Lily stopped speaking to me.

"What he did was perfectly fair, Lily." I said. "James, Peter and I aren't complaining."

"Yeah, well, you two heard fine, and Peter just copies whatever you do anyway, so it's no skin off either of your noses."

"Don't be stupid, Lily."

"I'm not stupid, you are. And Professor McCadell."

"Look. No, look. McCadell's goal is to teach us how to be ready for Voldemort and the real world. If you aren't ready now, he's got to take off points some how. Life isn't like a test, where you memorize the spells and their effects, and you sit down to take a test. You wouldn't expect the death eaters are just gonna give you a spelltron and a number 2 quill and an hour, so why expect the same from the person who's teaching this stuff to us? What would happen if you were turned out into the streets today? You just proved that you wouldn't last a chance."

"Well, I obviously wasn't expecting it from a teacher."

"Neither was I. I just felt someone go up, and I used my head and my wand. Lily, as soon as the first person went feet first you should have cast a defensive spell, or ducked, or done something. Professor McCadell was expecting that we would put six years of training into practice. How did he know he was supposed to expect us to not be able to handle actual spells?"

"Never mind, you don't understand."

"I could say the same about you." Man, I hate women. Must have been her time...

"Pads, Lily? Stop it." James said. "Where's Moony?"

"The traitor?" Peter asked. "Haven't seen him since DADA."

"What do you mean, 'traitor'?" James asked, suspiciously. "Did he foil another prank?"

"No. He blabbed to his girlfriend about how we can..." I mimed a dog panting, and James got the hint, though Lily thought I was speaking of something obscene.

"I know how an erection works..." Began Lily, "And I'm sure Arabella does to."

"Never mind, Lily. Why did Remus just give up information like that? I thought we could trust him?"

"Apparently, she asked to come along on our midnight adventures. Remus, being the ever-loving non-homicidal maniac he is, told her that she wasn't allowed to watch him maul furniture." Peter said. "She asked why, and Remus told her..."

"That I'm an animage. And that you're an animage." I said.

"And that I'm an animage." Peter said.

Lily stared at Peter. "You?..."

"Yeah, we helped him out."

"But doesn't Bella have a right to know why she can't go with Remus?" Lily asked.

"Sure, but saying 'you can't because I have no control over what I do as a werewolf and I'll probably end up infecting you or worse' is a helluva lot different than 'you can't turn into an animal like my friends can illegally.'"

"I'll talk to him, and see why he decided to tell Arabella." James said. "Maybe he has a better reason. And he trusted Arabella."

"Well, I'd 'trust' her too, so long as I was shagging her." Damn Peter and his mouth. But it was what I was thinking, so I guess I'll stick by him in the fallout.

Lily looked pissed, but I don't blame her. Well, okay, I do blame her for a lot of stuff, but being pissed at what Peter said was distinctly Peter's fault. And partly Arabella Figg's though it was less her fault than Peter's.

"How dare you?"

"Lily, calm down a little. Peter, you too. I'll talk to Remus, and get this sorted out, it's really no big deal in the end, unless something rather, odd happens to her." James was trying to be the leader again, something he was rather skilled at.

Well, I got to the Transfiguration classroom and took one look at McGonnagle. Well, at that point I decided it might've been best if I wasn't to pull my next prank, a whopee cushion magiced onto her seat.

—

Alright, Transfiguration went okay, I managed to disarm the charm on her seat before she sat down, but she was slightly suspicious at my waving my wand towards her chair and muttering an incantation. Charms was fun, as always, and it was the first class we had with Arabella Figg. The girl's sweet, but not that great with a wand, or with her head. She got a P on her transfiguration O.W.L. By comparisson, Peter got an E.

Of course, James, Remus and I didn't have a grade below an O, but Lily got an E in ancient runes, a subject we marauders gladly shied away from.

So I was bored, who wouldn't be? I hadn't been up to my favorite conservatory in ages, and I needed some time away from everything, especially Winifred. Granted, we're going out, but I spent a long time at the lake with her instead of eating lunch, and I need some time. But I digress. I walk up to the conservatory where I really met her last year, the same conservatory that Copia cornered me in, twice. The first time was awkward, and the second, well, let's not talk about that. That's when I discovered that Copia wasn't just strange, she was totally twisted and wacked out. The muggles have a term for people like her; psycho. But instead of the silent halls I came to expect, there was something else in the air, music. Not music I like, no.

This was a guitar. Thanks to the muggle records that Millicent got me for my birthday last year, I was capable of identifying the music in a genre of Rock N' Roll. I also identified the instrument being played as an electric guitar. I don't particularly like Rock N' Roll or electric guitars, so I was inclined to discover who stole my private room.

Okay, the room isn't mine, nor is it particularly private. In fact, I was caught with Wilkes by Copia in the room. But that doesn't mean this player's infringing on my right to privacy. I walked into the room, ready to shout at the kid.

"Who do you... Professor McCadell?" I walked in and saw Professor McCadell plugging away at his guitar, he made the motions look easy.

"Who do I Professor McCadell? How do I Professor McCadell?" Professor McCadell said, looking right at me.

"You play the guitar?"

"Last time I checked. It's been twenty years since I was here. Twenty years since I was plugging away at this very guitar with this very magical amplifier." He sighed. "I guess you're only old once, better make the best of it, right?"

"Sir, um, I just find it strange that someone your age likes this sort of music."

"Why do you find it strange? It's very relaxing, and quite harmonic."

"It's not good music, though. Real music is like Bach, and Beethoven, and..."

"Mozart? Mozart was basically an early rocker."

"What?"

"Mozart was what, 10 when he made his first symphony? Anyway, it was pop music then, it just happens that this is pop music now."

"Whatever you say. What are you playing?"

"It's a Frank Zappa solo... I dunno, I just find his guitar relaxing."

There was a silence as I watched him plug out a few more notes.

"You're brooding."

"Yes, sir." It's like he could read my mind...

"On what?"

"Well, one of my best friends kinda said something he wasn't supposed to." To put it mildly. Goddamn traitor.

"Let me tell you a story of a boy who was in your shoes. He was a second-year at the time, and he thought he had made a loyal follower out of a first-year. One day, the first-year overheard something that was said by the third-year which was supposed to be a complete secret. The third-year, fearing that the first-year would tell his secret, attempted to modify the first-year's memory. The first-year was far too crafty for that, however, and he used a shield charm to protect himself. The third-year forgot that he had said anything, and asked the first-year to get some food. Instead of food, the first-year told someone he had come to think of as a friend (though his friend didn't share the sentiments) what the third-year had said. And you know what? Because the friend had heard the third-year's secret, only one person died three years later. The moral of the story is, don't be too angry because of what people tell each other, it might save lives. Though because of the first-year, the entire plot to rid the school of muggle-borns was foiled..."

"Sir?" That was very strange. It also required an explenation.

"In my third year a fifth year named, well, named Voldemort unleashed a basilisk into the school. Hagrid took the rap, and myself and my friend (who was the person that overheard Voldemort two years prior) managed to save many people's lives."

"You went to school with Voldemort?"I didn't know Voldemort went to Hogwarts.

"Sort of. But don't hold a grudge too bad, because friendships are far too important to be dismantled because of such trifle matters."

"My friend told his girlfriend that I could turn into a dog! He told her that I was an illegal animage."

"I know."

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"Let me tell you another story..."

"Oh, no. The first one was bad enough." Seriously, I had enough of the windbag's stories.

"In my second year, a man by the name of Fenrir Greyback left Hogwarts (he was in my year.) The reason he left Hogwarts was because he had become a werewolf. A few days after he went missing, an army (for lack of a better term) of werewolves attacked the castle. Armando Dippet, the current principal at the time, tried to encourage us all to stay behind the locked doors. Myself and a man named Alabastor Lupin went out to try and defeat the werewolves."

"You and Mr. Lupin?" I was shocked. I had no clue that Professor McCadell had any contact with Moony's father. He ignored Moony, for Merlin's sake.

"Yes. And because of how close we were during those years, I was Best Man at the wedding between him and Ariel Longbottom, whom we called Toad, and I helped to give birth to Remus, and I helped name Remus, and I was the person who found Remus after he had been bitten, and I was the person who donated the shack that he uses for the full moons."

"You?" There was an owner to the shack?

"Yes, me. See, that shack was the McCadell family home for hundreds of generations. I know, not very big, but my family was prevented from having two kids each, and most generations only had one. But in my fourth year, all of my family except myself were killed, much like the majority of Potter's family."

"The majority?" Surely they were all killed. "There are still some?"

"I, I'm not supposed to mention this, strictly speaking, but James' parents are still alive, though they are staying hidden for a while. Did you see the muggle movie, the Terminator?"

I shook my head.

"In the Terminator, there are these robots called Terminators, and they take on every appearance of humans. Wizards have something very similar, they're called Flesh Golems. These golems are very, very hard to make, and require intense magic, but the Potters were certainly capable of making them. If imbued with a little blood from the intended copy, the Flesh Golem can impersonate the copied human (muggle or not) for an infinite amount of time. A Flesh Golem even walks and talks like the person it copied, and takes all orders from it's makers, making it a very effective double."

"So the Potters made these Golems to fool the death eaters and are still alive?" Strange. But it made sense, and was quite ingenious.

"Very much so, Sirius. Very much so."