One More Confessional

Part Eight

197S9.9.10

Damn that Baralai! I would have been fine. Now I'm all groggy -- magical sleep must not sit well with me. I noticed he took off pretty quickly when he noticed that I was awake. My glare of death might have had something to do with that. Healers! They always think they know what's best for you. Hmph.

At least Nooj looks better now that the boat has docked. Not great, but better. He's still awfully weak, though, and will probably need help to get off the ship. I guess we should wait until everyone else is on the shore before we move. He'll be much more willing to accept my assistance if fewer people are watching, I think. He will accept it, right? He's proud, but he's not stupid.

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Well, possibly a little stupid. I warned him he wasn't strong enough to get up on his own, but he was still only half-conscious and not listening, or maybe he just really is that stubborn, and he waved me off. Then the cane slipped on the deck under his unsteady hand, and he fell. From the way he's been wincing, I think he may have done something to his left side. Anyway, he was more docile after that -- he let me help him stand, then support him on his right as we walked out of the hold and down the gangplank. On land, he was better but still seemed a bit dizzy. I don't know whether that was due to residual seasickness or the fact that the ground is sandy and uneven. Probably both. Now he's settled down under one of the few trees here, resting. I offered him some breakfast, but he made a face and sent me away -- I guess his stomach is still bothering him. I can keep an eye on him from a distance.

I hate to let this extra breakfast go to waste. Maybe Baralai will want it; with all the magic he used on that boat, he must be exhausted. I'll go find him.

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Nooj seems better. He's taking another nap, which I'm sure will do him a world of good. I sat with him for awhile before he dozed off, and he asked me if Baralai had used his healing magic to help with the seasickness. I told him about Baralai's tireless watch for a day and two nights, his continuous spell-casting, how he fully dedicated himself to Nooj's care. He seemed mildly flabbergasted. I hope this finally makes him understand Baralai's true value as a member of this team.

Gippal said something about catching a fellant for dinner. Seaweed would go well with that, if the edible variety grows in these waters. I haven't had seaweed-wrapped fellant in ages. It always seemed like such a treat when I was running with my pack in Luca. The seaweed was easy enough to come by, but hunting fellants with our random collection of knives and homemade weapons was more of a challenge. So it was always a big deal when we got one. Lately I've been more likely to turn my nose up at such fare, but it sounds good today.

Okay, where is all this nostalgia coming from? Normally I avoid my memories of those years when I'm reminded of them. Maybe it's being out in the wilderness again. Not that Luca is the wilderness, but in some ways it might as well have been, and I spent more nights than I care to remember camping on the less savory parts of the Highroad--

All right, enough. Time for a plant hunt.

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That was a hell of a big fellant, and Gippal did an excellent job cooking it. I didn't find the exact type of seaweed I was looking for, but the one I did discover seemed similar enough and didn't bear any of the signs of a poisonous plant. It went well with the meat and is nutritious to boot. The others seemed to like it, even Nooj, who ate heartily and appears to be mostly back to his normal self. Although he was awfully free with the praise regarding everyone's contributions to dinner, so maybe not. Heh.

Once we'd finished, Nooj informed us that we are now officially Squadron Five -- important information for me, since I need to mark all the spheres with our designation -- and gave a mini-lecture on staying alive in strange territory. Then he surprised me by publicly and profusely thanking Baralai for caring for him on the boat. Baralai blushed, but I could see that he was pleased. Such a relief to see the two of them finally respecting one another, even if it did take a near-death experience to bring it about.

Gippal says that we are on the island of Bikanel. Interesting. One night, after Berrick had polished off most of a bottle of wine, he started talking about the glories of Home, some fabled machina city that the Al Bhed had built for themselves as a haven on a desert island called Bikanel. He said that it had been destroyed by Sin some years ago, the Al Bhed scattered. I had never been sure whether this was true, a fairy tale, or random drunken raving, but Gippal appears quite sober and just confirmed the truth of it. Huh. I wonder why the Maesters brought us here of all places?

Now more waiting. Baralai is off looking at plants again, and Gippal has settled down to tune Nooj, so I suppose I'd better pitch the tent.

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Hmm.

Nooj got his final orders from a runner not long ago. Since I was nearby and Gippal was missing, Nooj sent me after him so that we can all get this new information at once. I headed off in the direction where I had last seen him go, over a nearby hill. I don't know what made me approach stealthily; there was no particular reason for me to hide from him. I guess old habits die hard. Anyway, he neither saw nor heard me -- he was wrapped up in an intense conversation in Al Bhed with two others. I hid behind a nearby bush and listened. I didn't understand every word, but I got more than enough to follow along.

We're on Bikanel all right -- and so is Home. It was never destroyed.

Gippal made the other two swear not to reveal the truth, and they both readily agreed. I got the feeling that protecting the secret of Home is really important to the Al Bhed. Certainly it must have been important to Berrick, if he didn't tell me the true story that night. Maybe they fear an attack from Yevon if the truth comes out, and I can't say that I blame them.

I must confess that I don't really know what to do with this information. It's not really material to our mission, as far as I know, unless we end up leading an assault on Home or something. Damn! That can't be it, can it? Well, if anything like that happens, I'll need to find a way to let Gippal know that I'm on his side. I'm the last person to have anything against the Al Bhed -- I've had too many friends on their side not to sympathize. Not to mention my personal feelings about Yevon.

I won't tell anyone. I'm sort of sorry I even heard anything.

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So Nooj has explained our orders, and it seems that we will be competing with the other squads for food, weapons, and supplies. Or, rather, they will. As of tomorrow, I am the recorder, impartial, no longer a part of the team. Impartial -- that's a laugh. Two of the closest friends I've ever had, and my lover. Sure, I can be impartial, if by impartial you mean caring equally that each of them succeed. As for not interfering, forget that. If those guys get in trouble, I'm going to help them. I'll just keep it off camera as much as I can. I'm good at my job; I know all the editing tricks.

Now that I think about it, it seems strange that they put the recorders with their teams right from the start. If they really wanted us to be impartial, shouldn't they have separated us from the candidates, kept us all strangers? By now I'm sure everyone else has bonded just as strongly as we have. Odd.

We have a long day ahead of us, so I guess I should get to sleep. I've already noticed that Gippal and Baralai are sharing a sleeping bag, so that pretense is gone. I wonder if I can convince Nooj to abandon pretense as well? Let's go find out.