Hey guys! Thank you so much for the superiffic reviews of last chapter, I loved 'em all! Here's the next one, read on…
They all got up early the next morning to go to the airport with Jake and Peyton. Brooke was oddly quiet; sad about the departure of her friend and occupied by her thoughts of Lucas.
They all stood at the gate and waved them off. Lucas wrapped his arms round Brooke's waist from behind her, because she looked so mournful as she waved goodbye. She leant back against him and he tightened his hold, feeling her head lean against his neck.
Peyton smiled as she looked back over her shoulder at her friends. With a last wave to Brooke she mouthed 'tell him', to which Brooke just nodded.
Finally they disappeared from view, and Haley sighed and slipped her hand into Nathan's, turning towards the exit. Brooke turned round so she was still wrapped in Lucas' arms, and he hugged her, kissing the top of her head. "You'll see them soon," he said comfortingly. He felt her nod under his chin, and then she looked up, meeting his gaze.
For the second time in 24 hours Lucas couldn't help but notice how close her lips were. She looked into his eyes and he could feel her breath mixing with his. His fingers tingled where they touched her top. And then she had looked away again, and was turning round, slipping out of his arms.
He shut his eyes for a second and then looked away, following her to the exit. They came outside and she slipped her hand into his, squeezing it gently. He looked down at her but she did not meet his gaze, remaining silent as they made their way to the car.
"I think I'm gonna…get some more sleep," Brooke said, as they reached her bedroom door.
"Yeah. That sounds like a good idea."
She hesitated and then smiled at him. "See you later Luke."
He returned the smile and nodded as she went into her room. He watched the door close, and then headed off up the corridor, digging his hands in his pockets.
Brooke leant against her door and sighed. God she wanted to kiss him so bad! In the airport she'd been inches away from giving in, but after months of waiting she was not going to crack then. If she was going to tell him how she felt, she was going to do it properly.
Brooke heard a groan and looked over at Carrie's bed. The top of her dark red head of hair was just sticking out from under her duvet, and Brooke chuckled quietly.
"Carrie!" she whispered.
There was another groan and the head disappeared.
"Carrie I know you're up." She waited another few seconds and then rolled her eyes. "Carrie I slept with Lucas and I need to talk to you about it."
Carrie's head shot up, and she looked straight at Brooke, her eyebrows sky high. "You did what? When?"
"I didn't do anything, I just need to talk to you."
"What? But you said…ugh, no Brooke, I'm tired."
"Well you're up now so you might as well talk to me. I think I'm going to tell Lucas how I feel."
Carrie looked interested once more. "Really? Oh my god finally! What are you going to say?"
"Well that's what I need help on! As well as, you know, a last little booster so I don't chicken out."
Carrie rolled her eyes. "He's totally in love with you, believe it already! Now, on to what you're going to say…"
Lucas collapsed on his bed as soon as he'd entered his room. Looking around he noticed that Freddie wasn't there, which was unusual, because he normally ended up in his room after all his partying was over. After all, it wasn't like he had a boyfriend or anything. Maybe he did now…
Lucas shook his head, realising he was getting off the point. Which was Brooke, as usual. He rubbed his eyes as he thought about last night, and this morning. Why hadn't he kissed her? Or why hadn't she kissed him? So they hadn't really talked about it yet, but he thought they were both on the same page: the page where they got back together.
So if she hadn't kissed him that either meant she wasn't…or she was waiting for him to act first. And if she wasn't, then how was he going to find out without doing something first?
Lucas sighed as he realised his thoughts were going round in a circle. Whichever way he looked at it he always came to the same conclusion: he had to do something.
But was he really ready to risk his heart again? He always assumed that she would be the one to make a move when she was ready after she had turned him down at Christmas, but lately he'd been thinking maybe she was waiting for him. Everything she did, everything people told him, seemed to suggest she wanted to get back together, except for the fact she hadn't done anything about it yet.
He stood up, now feeling agitated, and started pacing up and down the room.
If he was going to make the first move, what should he do? Should he talk to her about it? Should he just kiss her and see if she kissed him back? This idea appealed to him, but mainly because he thought if he didn't kiss her soon he might explode.
And if she wasn't ready, well, then they'd wait. He hesitated as he thought about this. He really didn't want her to think he was pressuring her; that he wasn't happy just being friends. Of course, he wanted more, but if she didn't yet then he didn't want to make their situation awkward, not when it was going so well.
He began pacing again, but the small size of the room just made him more frustrated. Finally he headed to the door and left. He needed to talk to her; that was the only thing that could help. He'd decide when he saw her what he was going to do. Smiling at this idea, he headed downstairs to her room.
Lucas approached Brooke's door, now suddenly feeling less confident, and was about to open it when he heard his name.
"…But I don't know how to tell Luke!"
He recognised Brooke's voice, and stopped. Although he would never normally listen in on a conversation of hers, he desperately wanted to know how she was feeling, and if this meant he could find out without having to compromise their friendship, then it might be worth it.
"Brooke, I know it's hard but you just have to do it. I mean, if you're not ready you're not ready - "
Carrie's voice was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing.
"I'll get it…" She picked it up, and started talking to the person on the other end.
Lucas stepped back from the door. So that was it. Brooke wasn't ready, and she didn't know how to tell him. Well, at least he had an answer now, and they could just go on being friends without him wrecking anything. He wouldn't push it, and when she talked to him about it he could be understanding and tell her not to worry.
He made his way away from the room, trying to ignore the tightening in his chest.
Inside Carrie put the phone down.
"Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, if you're not ready then that's fine. But from what you've been saying it really sounds like you are, so you have nothing to worry about. Just remember that this is what you want and…tell him."
Brooke nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right."
"Of course I'm right. And as for what you say, I don't think that should be too hard. Just…speak from your heart. I doubt if you'll get through a sentence before you guys are making out anyway!"
Brooke laughed. "Thank Carrie. I think…I think I'm going to do it."
Carrie grinned. "Awesome! I think you should take him out tonight, go somewhere really special."
Brooke tipped her head on one side. "Hmm…maybe I will. Ooh we could go to that nice Italian place."
"Oh yeah, that's really romantic," she said, raising an eyebrow. "It totally gets you in the mood for sex."
Brooke threw a pillow at her. "One thing at a time Carr!"
"It's been months Brooke! You know, I'll think I'll organise to stay with Toby tonight…"
Brooke just shook her head, and then hesitated. "Well maybe just in case…"
Carrie chuckled.
"Okay, now I have to get some sleep, cause I am so tired."
"Yeah, me too. My irritating roommate woke we up at nine to go on about her boy troubles!" She gave Brooke a look, and Brooke rolled her eyes. The two girls grinned at each other, before both flopping back on their respective beds, and falling asleep.
Lucas woke up late in the afternoon, and groaned as he saw what the time was. The memory of the morning came back to him and he rolled onto his side, frowning into his pillow. He had got back to his room and suddenly had not felt in a mood to do anything, so had gone back to bed. Now that he was awake again, he still did not feel like doing anything, but he had already slept for way too long, and so he forced himself to get up.
He went and took a shower, and changed into clean clothes, but still did not feel any better. He couldn't quite believe that Brooke really didn't feel the same way. Yeah, he'd always known she was a little apprehensive about them getting back together, but he thought that was just her old insecurities coming out again, and he'd been almost certain she'd got over those in the recent weeks.
But obviously not. That explained why she hadn't kissed him ever. What he'd taken as her just being coy, was obviously a conscious decision not to let things go to far. Still, there had been times…like last night when she let her fingers rest against his neck…had he just been imagining things? Maybe it was just an honest mistake…
He sighed and looked at the clock again. It was just beginning to get dark outside; the days were growing consistently shorter. Maybe he should go out…
He dismissed the idea at first, but as he thought about it he decided it might not be a bad thing. After all, it might be good for him just to get out…on his own…it was time he started being independent of Brooke. He was in this amazing city, there were hundreds of people out there to meet…
He caught sight of a card on Freddie's desk, it was for some club opening he had been going on about for weeks. Picking it up, Lucas smiled. That was exactly the right thing. He'd probably see Freddie there, he could hang out, have some fun…
Grabbing a jacket, he left the room.
Brooke lay on her bed, thinking. Italian, or French? A dress, or pants?
Suddenly she got up, her mind made up. They could go out later. She didn't want to tell him in some public restaurant. She wanted to be in his room, with just the two of them. She pulled on some jeans instead of her pyjama pants that she'd been wearing for most of the afternoon, and left her room. She went upstairs and down the corridor, stopping in front of the door she knew so well.
She knocked, trying to think what she would say.
Freddie answered.
"Oh, hey Brooke."
"Um, hey," she said, slightly taken aback. "Is Lucas here?"
"No, he went out. Did he not tell you? He's gone to this new club; he just called. Here…" he went back into the room for a second, "Here's the card."
Brooke looked down at it, "Okay. Thanks Freddie."
"Sure."
She looked at the address on the card as she went back down the corridor. He'd gone to a club? Well…whatever. Maybe they could have fun, and then she'd tell him later. Or she could just talk to him there. Shrugging, she went downstairs again, and hailed a cab.
Brooke entered the club, looking around for Lucas. Her heart was racing; maybe this was it. Maybe she could just go up to him and kiss him. She was tired of waiting, maybe now they could finally be together again…
Or not.
Brooke had seen Lucas. He was on the dance floor with a girl, and it looked like getting back together with Brooke was the last thing on his mind.
Brooke felt her body go cold, as she turned and pushed her way back through the crowd.
Lucas woke up the next morning, and was glad to find he didn't really have much of a headache. He hadn't had too much to drink, and now he was rewarded for it. He was glad he could remember the whole night too, not that it had been great, but at least he knew he hadn't done anything stupid. And anyway, it had been…kinda fun. He'd met some cool people, no one particularly special but that was to be expected, right?
He glanced over at his phone and the thought of Brooke immediately crossed his mind. So much for moving on…
He decided to call her to see if she wanted to meet up and do something. After all, they were still friends.
Brooke was in her room, watching TV, but not really watching. When the phone rang she checked the caller ID, and felt her heart lurch. She bit her lip, and lifted it to her ear.
"Hey Lucas."
He was slightly taken aback; she didn't sound like herself. "Brooke? I was just wondering if you were free for lunch or something."
"Um…I've got a lot of work to do actually."
Lucas frowned, "Brooke, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just a little busy."
"You don't sound fine, seriously, what's going on?"
"Lucas it's nothing. I'll talk to you tomorrow." She hung up.
Lucas heard the dial tone and put the phone down, shocked. Brooke had never hung up on him before. Making up his mind he left his room and went upstairs, knocking on the door to hers.
There was no reply. "Brooke?" he called.
Brooke heard him inside and recoiled. She didn't want to see him today. She just needed 24 hours to get over it, and then it would be okay…she just couldn't see him today.
She heard him call her name again and sighed. Steeling herself she stood up and opened the door. "Lucas I really can't talk now I've got a lot to - "
"Just tell me what's going on," he interrupted.
"Nothing! I'm fine."
He caught her arm and she pushed past him, going out into the hall.
"I've just got a lot of stuff to do, I'm going to get some coffee," she said, and headed down the hall.
"Brooke!" he went after her, catching up as they came outside. It was raining and soon they were both soaked. He was reminded of the time in Central Park, almost three months ago now.
He caught her arm, repeating her name. Her skin was cold and wet, and she couldn't help but notice the warmth that seemed to spread from his fingers.
She stopped and faced him, realising it was no use.
"Please, just tell me what's upset you," he whispered, tucking a strand of wet hair behind her ear. There were drops of rain on her cheeks and lips.
She looked down, her insides churning. When she spoke her voice was shaking. "I came to the club you were at last night…and you were with some girl…" she looked up for a second and saw he looked confused. "I'd just had this really weird day," she said quickly, "And I'd talked to Peyton before and she'd said all this stuff…and I just…wanted to talk to you."
Lucas wasn't sure if he understood what she was trying to say. "Brooke, I thought…I thought you weren't ready. You were talking to Carrie and…and before you said it wouldn't work..." he trailed off, trying to work out what was happening.
She looked up, her eyes glistening. "Well it's different now." She ran a hand through her wet hair, and a few strands fell back in her face. "I mean…you're not half way around the country, we're not in our first year anymore. Neither of us are seeing anybody. I thought…maybe we could be together. Maybe…maybe I'm ready to be together…properly," she looked up at him, a hint of smile on her lips.
He hesitated, for a second too long.
"Except you're obviously not." She stepped back, and then turned and left, tears mingling with raindrops as she ran back inside.
"Brooke!" he called after, "Brooke, wait!"
You can throw the tomatoes now…(or leave a review!)Don't hate me! I know this chapter was kind of meant to be the big one, but I really did plan this from the beginning, and I promise you you won't have to be patient for much longer. But seriously, you didn't think I was going to let you have it without just a little more angst, right? This is BL we're talking about ; )