A/N - I lied about the previous drabble being my last. This one is my last one for a while... I use pre-paid internet, and that runs out today, so I won't be able to publish anything for a while. This was drafted in an exercise book during Math class... Which probably explains the lame attempt at humour. Envy left me feeling a bit depressed, so I wrote this to try and make up for it. Strangely enough, I wrote this with the Deadly Sin of Gluttony in mind, but it ended up more... Lustful than Glutton-ish.
Disclaimer - Don't own it, no.
Thanks to - saffiremoon21 and C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only for your reviews. Keep 'em coming, guys! Thanks so much for the support!
Sinners
Four: Gluttony
Contrary as to what many have come to believe, Colonel Roy Mustang is exceedingly conscious about what he eats.
As a child, he never found candy, chocolate or cake very enticing and his indifference towards sweets in general became a quality that he is particularly proud of.
He does enjoy a good coffee - in moderate doses, mind you - a bit of drink is acceptable on social occasions (or when he's having a bad day), but a healthy body means a healthy mind and the last thing that Roy needs is for his mental stability (though certain people would never quite agree with the statement that he might be wholly stable) to go haywire on a sugar high.
He knows Riza's probably depressed today, because she's been eating a lot more than usual. Either that... Or it's that time of month again, and if he doesn't want extra pockmarks in the wall behind him, he'd do well to keep from irritating his Lieutenant.
Either way, considering what she's already consumed by lunchtime is enough to make Roy queasy. Scones with jam and cream and coffee for breakfast, a banana, an egg tart, a packet of cheese crackers, a custard bun, half a lemon poppy seed muffin, countless mugs of hot chocolate in between...
Roy watches with a vague sense of awe as Riza digs into a generous slice of black forest cake and wonders exactly where she puts it all.
She looks like she's enjoying it immensely.
"Good grief, Lieutenant, you've been eating cakes all morning. That can't be good for your teeth."
The mahogany eyes blink. Slowly. She stabs a glacê cherry with her fork and raises it to her lips.
Roy digs his nails into his orange, peeling back the thick skin. The sharp tang of citrus laces the air between them as he tears a section out and chews on it thoughtfully. "I mean -" He swallows, "- if you're craving something sweet, eat some fruit. It's better for you,"
No reply. Despite feeling somewhat awkward now, Roy squares his shoulders and ploughs ever onwards. "And all that sugar will convert into fat. We don't want that lovely figure of yours ruined now, do we?"
She chooses to ignore this as well, and it begins to annoy him. What kind of authority did he wield if his own Lieutenant refused to listen to his nutritional advice?
He eats another orange portion. "As your Colonel, I strongly recommend a change of diet on your part, Lieutenant Hawkeye, for the sake of your long-term health, not to mention the fact that -"
"Would you like some, Colonel?"
"- you might - What?"
"Some cake, sir. Would you like some cake?"
He stares at her.
There's chocolate crumbs and cream at the corners of her lips and Roy, being the part-time pervert he is, suddenly imagines something along the lines of lick, cream and Riza in a mini-skirt.
He needs a shower.
A cold shower.
Right now.
"Colonel?" Her tongue pokes out to claim the stray crumbs.
Roy stands up and turns so quickly, he upsets his chair.
"Sir?"
"Excuse me," His voice sounds strained. He has to get out of here before he makes any more of a fool of himself. Thanking his lucky stars that he likes to wear his pants a size too large, he barely manages to shut the door behind him before the nosebleed starts.
Back at the break table, Riza shrugs, finishes her cake and goes off to cut herself another slice.