Chapter 11

Cassian had no idea how the fight started. He really didn't. He wasn't really paying attention. There had been a lot of fighting recently. Between everyone.

Everyone was on edge about the Troves. When Cassian told Rhys that Nesta would not be looking for the others, Rhys freaked out. Claiming she was good for nothing then and she should just fuck off.

Of course, Nesta heard every word and said something to Feyre. And then she told Cassian "I told you so" which made him freak out. He yelled at her and couldn't stand the look on her face when he did. He knew he fucked up. He was being dragged in so many different directions and had no idea which way he should run. So, he pulled away from everyone.

Nesta hadn't seen him in days. They were at the house of wind when he yelled at her. She wasn't sure if that was the last straw for him but he left and didn't come back.

Maybe she needed to work on her communication skills. But, she did tell him so.

No one had heard from him which concerned Rhys so he sent Feyre up to the house of wind to see if he was there. Feyre walked in the front door, finding her sister sitting in the kitchen with a book, untouched food in front of her.

"Hey." Feyre smiled at her sister.

"Hey." Nesta answered, closing the book and looking at her sister. "What's up?" She asked, leaning back in her chair.

"Just came to see if Cassian was here." That alarmed Nesta.

"He wasn't staying with you?" Nesta asked, eyes widening. "He hasn't been here in days." She confirmed.

"I was worried about that." Feyre sighed.

"What? How are you so calm? Where is he?!" Nesta was in a panic. She wasn't yelling at Feyre, just in her general area. Feyre was always the calmer of the two. Nesta always blew everything out of proportion and Feyre was the calming presence in their home. But Nesta really had no idea how she was so calm about this. Cassian was missing. He could have been taken.

"Relax. We will find him." Feyre answered. "What happened? Why did he take off?" Nesta wasn't sure she wanted to tell Feyre about their fight. It would only make everything worse and she did not need her sister mad at her again.

"He was mad." She started. "I don't know. He was yelling and then he just left." Feyre didn't need to know the whole truth. That Nesta tried to break it off with Cassian claiming that his family would never accept them and he should find someone better. It was right after she told him I told you so and he told her to fuck off. The typical banter of the two. But then he left.

"You were fighting."

"It wasn't my fault." Nesta rushed. At least she didn't think it was her fault.

"I find that hard to believe." Nesta tried to keep her breathing even. She was so worried about Cassian. She assumed that he was at the River House.

"I'm sorry." She wasn't totally sure what she was apologizing for. Everything maybe? She wasn't sure. Feyre just blinked at her. If she was surprised by the words she didn't show it. But she said nothing.

"Any idea where he would have gone?"

"No." Nesta didn't really know the city besides the clubs and bars downtown. She had no idea about the mountains or anything he really enjoyed doing.

"I'll be back later to deal with you."

"Deal with me? What are you going to do with me?"

"I haven't decided yet." Feyre answered before leaving the same way she came in. That couldn't be good. It just made Nesta more anxious. She knew that her sister was powerful. Knew that both her and Rhys could snap their fingers and get what they want. Feyre wouldn't hurt her right?

And then, something snapped. It made her double over in pain. She had never felt pain like that in her entire life. She screamed out, dropping to her knees. She clenched her chest and she screamed. She was dying. This was it. Someone had put a hex on her. She was going to die.

And as fast as it came, it went. But it wasn't right. Something was very very wrong.

Feyre came flying back in the front door, looking at her sister, on her knees, breathing hard and she nearly panicked.

"What happened?" She rushed over.

"I don't know." Nesta grabbed onto the edge of the table to get up. "I just felt this really intense pain." She breathed, drinking down the water that was on the table. "I've never felt that before." She sat down, trying to get her heart rate back down to normal.

"We should go." Feyre grabbed her sister's hand.

"What? Why? Is something wrong?" Nesta asked, standing up, following Feyre to the front door.

"I think someone just severed the bond." Nesta processed the words.

"Cassian." She breathed, looking at her sister. Feyre nodded. Nesta didn't even know that was possible. Nesta swallowed. "Where are we going?" She asked as Feyre scooped her up and took flight into the sky.

"Home." Feyre answered.

Nesta was sitting in the library at the River House, Elain next to her. Rhys and Azriel had gone out hours ago to see if they could find Cassian. Elain didn't say anything. Even if she knew what to say, Nesta wouldn't listen. Nesta had felt heartbreak before. But never like this. Never to the point where she couldn't breath and felt like she was going to die any minute.

"Where do I go when they find him?" She asked Elain.

"Here." Nesta shook her head.

"He's not going to want me here."

"I heard Rhys saying that he's going to give your position as emissary back." Nesta could live with that. Going on runs for Rhys would be terrible she was sure, but if it meant she got to stay here then she would take whatever was handed to her.

"Cassian hates me." She whispered. "He told me before that everyone hated me. I don't even know what I did." She was too difficult to handle. She knew that. She couldn't stop it. Couldn't get herself to stop being like this. Couldn't admit her wrongs and try to right them.

"No!" Someone shouted from the front of the house. "Fuck you!" Cassian. Elain and Nesta both rose at the same time to head to the door. Feyre was already there, holding the door open as Rhys and Azriel dragged Cassian into the house, drunk. He smelled like he had been bathing in alcohol.

Feyre stepped to the side to let them through. The second Cassian realized who was watching, he thrashed trying to get out of their hold.

"Get her out of here." He seethed.

"Nesta, go upstairs please." Rhys said, as calm as he could. Nesta didn't move as she looked at Cassian. She had never seen such hatred in him before. "I'll be up to talk to you in a minute." He tried to urge her. He could tell that she was frozen to the spot. He was trying to be patient but Cassian was about to freak out and cause damage. "Nesta!" He roared. She jumped a little, rushing towards the stairs. She stepped onto the first step and turned back. "Go!"

"Rhys." Feyre sighed as Nesta rushed up the stairs, tears streaming down her face. Elain followed behind. Nesta burst into the room, still mostly empty besides a bed.

She sobbed, holding her hand to her chest, her other hand pressed to her mouth so no one could hear her. She had to get out of here. Had to get out of Velaris. She wasn't sure how she was going to get out of here. But she needed to. Everyone would be on edge until she was gone.

"How can I help?" Elain asked from behind her. Nesta just shook her head. Elain couldn't get her out of here. They both knew that. Before Nesta would even answer. Rhys stepped into the room.

Nesta wiped her eyes, trying to calm down. She knew that whatever he was about to say wouldn't hurt nearly as bad as the pain she's feeling now.

"He's not going to calm down if you're here. And I need a favor."

"Okay." Nesta commented, waiting for him to ask.

"Tamlin isn't doing well. I need you to go check up on him."

"What? No!" She hissed. She would go see anyone but him.

"It wasn't up for debate." He grabbed her arm and winnowed them right to Tamlin's front door. She really couldn't believe he was doing this to her right now. She probably looked like a whole mess. How would she possibly be able to help Tamlin.

Rhys knocked on the front door before pushing it open when no one answered. Tamlin stood at the top of the stairs.

"Can I help you Rhysand?" He asked.

"Brought you a present." Nesta barely had a second to recover from seeing Cassian before she was shoved into Tamlin's presence. She hated him. And he hated Rhysand and Feyre. This wasn't going to be good for either of them. Rhys let go of Nesta as Tamlin moved down the stairs.

"Why?" Tamlin was confused on why Rhys would bring him one of the Archeron sister's.

"She's heartbroken. You're heartbroken. She's not allowed in my court." That was brand new news to her.

"What?" Not allowed? She was shocked.

"She's yours to do what you want with." Then he was gone. It was no use trying to grab him before he was gone, her hand just hit air.

"I'm sorry." She said to Tamlin. She wasn't sure why. He hurt her sister. "I did not know he was going to leave me here." She had never had a full conversation with him. Just yelled stuff at him. Even though she didn't like Tamlin she didn't think that he should have to let her stay here.

"What got you banned from a court?" Tamlin asked.

"I don't even know." She could feel it. Her heart breaking all over again. "They always said that they would get rid of me but I thought they would put me in the human lands."

"Rhys is an idiot." Tamlin could feel the power coming off her. He had no idea what she was capable of but it would be good to have. "I'm sorry they threw you out." She shook her head. She doesn't remember him being this nice. "Choose any room you want. Mine is off limits."

Azriel and Feyre had finally gotten Cassian to calm down. The second he saw her, he went into overdrive. He was going to hurt someone. Rhys gave Feyre one second to respond when he said that he was putting Nesta on Tamlin duty. He needed Tamlin to start rebuilding his court. It was still in shambles after the war and more war was coming. Tamlin wasn't strong enough to go to war right now.

So maybe having Nesta driving him crazy would do the trick.

"She's gone." Feyre said to Cassian. She hated that she had to pick between Cassian and Nesta, knew that Nesta would hate her for that. That she picked Cassian. But when had Nesta ever picked her? And Cassian was actually doing something for this court. Nesta was just pissing everyone off.

"Should we celebrate with a drink?" Mor asked.

"No!" Feyre hissed. "This is not something to celebrate!"

"Sure it is."

"Cass needs to sleep." Rhys and Azriel had found him in a bar, sleeping in a booth. Rhys wasn't sure why the owner didn't call him. "Help me get him upstairs." Azriel and Rhys lifted him, dragging him up the stairs and getting him into bed.

"She doesn't love me." Cassian whispered as Rhys pulled the blankets back up.

"She does." He answered.

"No she doesn't. She wouldn't be such a bitch." Rhys didn't say anything. He knew whatever was going on between them was over. Cassian always defended her and would never speak about her that way. It was over. They both knew it.

Nesta didn't sleep. Even though she knew she was safe here, her mind never shut up. She wished that she had died that day instead of their dad. Everyone would be so much better off.

She joined Tamlin for breakfast. Only because it was the polite thing to do. There was a small feast at the table as she sat beside him.

"You should eat." He commented, his own plate loaded with a little of everything.

"Not really hungry." She shrugged.

"It won't last forever." He commented. Nesta wasn't so sure that was true. "Eventually everyone will move on. You'll realize you just want them to be happy." He was right. She knew that. Time heals all wounds.

"Even for mates?" She questioned. Feyre wasn't his mate. He didn't know the pain of losing a mate. Of that bond being severed and slapping you in the face.

"Not sure." He answered truthfully.

"And then they kicked me out. Like way to kick me while I'm down." She wasn't sure why she was telling him anything. Maybe because he wasn't part of the inner circle. He wouldn't take a side. He would just listen.

"I know what it's like to feel like you don't belong. What it feels like to be all alone." Maybe they were more alike than she thought.

"This all happened because of you." She didn't say it to be mean. It was the truth.

"I know." He didn't apologize. Maybe he wasn't sorry. Either way, it didn't matter. It wouldn't change anything.

"Think Cassian will ever give me another chance?" She asked.

"Not sure. I don't really know him." She sighed.

"It doesn't matter anyway." She looked from her plate to him. "I don't have to stay here. I can get a job or something and move out."

"Feyre might hate me, but she would hate me even more if I kicked her sister to the curb." That was shocking. Tamlin had changed. This was not the same guy that she met. "You can stay."

"Thank you." If anything, at least Tamlin wasn't making a fuss about her being here. Maybe he didn't really care. She wasn't sure. All she knew was that they were two heartbroken beings and nothing was going to heal either of them.