DISCLAIMER-Arakawa-sama owns FMA, not you, not I, and not that hobo who lives down your street who is currently trying to break into your house and steal your refridgerator. I suggest you go tend to that matter before you read the rest of this fanfic, nay, the rest of this disclaimer. After all, you wouldn't want me-ah...I mean him to make off with all of your fresh fruit now would you? I also do not own People Magazine, Harry Potter, Gameboy...or the very nice video game Fullmetal Alchemist and the Broken Angel. I have played it. It is fun, go buy it.

Part 3-The Austure Airport

(Motoko bursts through door)

(Everyone turns to stare at Motoko)

MOTOKO- Guess who just won free tickets to an onsen in Hokkaido!

RAVEN- Did you?

MOTOKO- Let me check...Checks paper in hand Yeah! Yipee!

ICHIGO- Onsen...that's a hotspring, right?

MOTOKO- You are correct.

RAVEN- Hokkaido is famous for it's beautiful hotsprings.

MOTOKO- Even though northern Hokkaido is one of the most coldey places in the world!

RAVEN- You know, it's been really quiet in that half of the room. points to Ed, Al, and Roy

(Roy is reading People magazine, Al is reading Harry Potter, Ed is playing Fullmetal Alchemist and the Broken Angel on a Gameboy)

RAVEN- HEY! Takes gameboy from Ed and throws it into a wall

EDWARD- Hey! I was playing that.

RAVEN- WELL, SPARE YOURSELF THE VIRTUALITY AND GO KILL SOME REAL CHIMERAS!

ICHIGO- Aren't any of you guys excited about going to Japan?

ALPHONSE- Where's that?

MOTOKO- Wait, these people are all from the anime Fullmetal Alchemist, right?

RAVEN- Yeah.

ICHIGO- Yep.

MOTOKO- Which was made in Japan...

EDWARD- I don't get it.

ICHIGO- Well, I guess that means you were all really born in Japan.

EDWARD- No. I was born in Resembool, Al was too.

ROY- I was born in Central.

ICHIGO- So they don't understand what the concept of anime is...

MOTOKO- Looks that way.

ICHIGO- Well, should we tell them that they're fictional people?

EDWARD- I still dont underst-

RAVEN- EVERYBODY GET IN THE CAR!

ICHIGO- Works for me.

MOTOKO- Ditto.

ICHIGO- Hey, Raven, why didn't you tell them that they're fictional?

MOTOKO- Yeah, it would've been fun to watch...a little.

RAVEN- (gently) I didn't wanna hurt their self esteem.

ICHIGO- Yeah, and therapy bills are expensive.

RAVEN- Speaking of expense...

ICHIGO- Did you ever pay the bills to that writing studio you rented, Motoko?

MOTOKO- Uhhh...what writing studio? Burns chapter 1 in garbage can

EDWARD- Come on you guys!

RAVEN- Uh...okay!

ICHIGO- Weird.

MOTOKO- What?

ICHIGO- Raven yells at us for hours but she can hardly say 2 words to Ed.

MOTOKO- I never knew her to get shy.

EDWARD- LET'S GO ALREADY!

(At the airport)

(walking through the metal detector)

(Edward walks through the metal detector.)

METAL DETECTOR BEEPS.

EDWARD- Oh. That's just my arm and leg. They're metal.

AIRPORT DRONE- I see that, but you'll have to get that checked more thoroughly. Please go over there.

EDWARD- Okay.

(Edward goes over there)

(Roy walks through metal detector)

METAL DETECTOR BEEPS.

ROY- Oops. Sorry (pulls out pocket watch)

(Roy walks through detector again)

METAL DETECTOR DOES NOT BEEP.

(Ichigo walks through metal detector)

METAL DETECTOR BEEPS.

ICHIGO- pulls out pocket watch

METAL DETECTOR DOES NOT BEEP.

MOTOKO- Where'd ya get that?

ICHIGO- Online.

EDWARD- OOOOOOWWWW!

(Edward had to take off his arm and leg.)

ALPHONSE- Is that really necessary?

AIRPORT DRONE- Yes. We suspect he was hiding drugs in his arm.

ALPHONSE- I really doubt that.

(Motoko walks through metal detector)

METAL DETECTOR DOES NOT BEEP.

(Raven walks through metal detector)

METAL DETECTOR BEEPS.

ICHIGO- Why'd it beep?

(Raven pulls out pocket watch)

RAVEN- This thing.

MOTOKO- Where'd you get yours?

RAVEN- I dunno, some guy dropped it.

(Meanwhile..)

EDWARD- Hey! Where's my watch...?

(Al walks through metal detector)

METAL DETECTOR BEEPS

AIRPORT DRONE- Sir, please remove your armour.

ALPHONSE- Uhh...I...can't.

AIRPORT DRONE- I'm sorry, I can't let you through until the metal detector doesn't beep.

(Al walks through the detector again for some unknown reason)

(Al is too tall and his head falls off)

AIRPORT DRONE- THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE! THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE!

(Airport Drone's head explodes)

RAVEN- I knew it! Pay up!

(Motoko hands Raven $5)

ALPHONSE- My head! This is the second time in 3 chapters!

(Al re-attatches his head)

BYSTANDER #2- AAAHH! Somebody call the FBI!

MOTOKO- Al! Run to the airplane terminal! Or...um...Ed-you can hop there, right?

EDWARD- No!

(Motoko hits Edward on his head and knocks him out)

ROY- ...

MOTOKO- KILL ALL WITNESSES!

(Motoko hits Roy on his head and knocks him out as well)

(Ed, Al, Motoko, Ichigo, Roy, and Raven make it on the plane. Only Al can't fit through the door so he has to stay with the luggage and stuff under the plane. Raven, who carried Ed to the plane terminal dropped Ed into the control board and almost destroyed the plane.Nobody knew what happened there, except one paranormal photographer who nobody believes anyway. So, I guess they'll make it to Hokkaido in the next chapter...)

End of Part 3- The Austure Airport

Listen up-Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. It belongs to Hiromu Arakawa, BONES, and Aniplex. I own the anime Completesteel Chemist. I also do not own Invader Zim, which I take a few lines from. I also do not own the following things-Dance Dance Revoloution, Moolight Shadow by Missing Heart, Rewrite by Asian Kung-Fu Generation, READY STEADY GO! By L'arcenciel, Imaginary by Evanescence, the Toast Stoy, Krispy Kreme donuts, or the song For Fruits Basket, or that ghost story that Motoko tells. That's either a Japanese story or property of CLAMP, although the details are a bit modified.

Part 4-The Horriffic Hotsprings

MOTOKO- That was one heck of a plane ride!

RAVEN- I liked the part when the giant weenies attacked us...

EDWARD- It was cool when that evil mutant toast got me my automail arm and leg back.

MOTOKO- And you all thought that mutant toast was a bad idea!

ICHIGO- I could've sworn that those were oranges floating outside our window singing "Dance with us! Dance with us into oblivion..."

MOTOKO- It was!

RAVEN- Well, let's go get Al and the luggage and get going.

ROY- That's a good idea.

(So Ed, Raven, Motoko, Ichigo, and Roy went to the luggage pick up and got their luggage, only Al wasn't there because he went to go look for them getting off the plane so they ended up going back and forth 4 times before they ran into each other which is odd because Al's a giant suit of armour and...oh, back to the fanfic.)

(Everyone soon comes to a very nice Japanese-style hotsprings hotel)

MOTOKO- Hey! It just occured to me that parts of this fanfic need changing. pulls out big eraser

RAVEN- How so?

MOTOKO- Well, there are lots of typos...

RAVEN- How would that effect anything?

(Motoko erases the word 'effect' in the last sentence and writes 'affect')

RAVEN- How would that affect anything?

(Motoko erases Al)

EDWARD-WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR!

MOTOKO- Well, I thought that this fanfic was getting boring...

EDWARD-SO YOU KILLED OFF MY BROTHER!

MOTOKO- No, I just decided to give Al a human body for a few chapters.

EDWARD- Oh. That's okay...I guess...can I have my real arm and leg back then?

MOTOKO- No! Only problem is...I can't really draw Al that well.

HIROMU ARAKAWA-SAMA- I can help!

MOTOKO- Hiromu Arakawa-sama!

(Arakawa-sama draws human Al)

MOTOKO- Yay!

ALPHONSE- Yay!

EDWARD- Yay! Now, Arakawa-sama, d'ya think you could give me back my real arm and leg for a while...?

HIROMU ARAKAWA-SAMA- No!

EDWARD- AND WHY THE HELL NOT!

HIROMU ARAKAWA-SAMA- So Winry won't complain to us!

RAVEN- Ah. Makes sense.

(Hiromu Arakawa-sama disapears in a poof of smoke)

ICHIGO- That was cool.

RAVEN- Yeah.

MOTOKO- Yay verrily.

ICHIGO- What do ya wanna do now?

(Roy Mustang walks in doorway, carrying a lot of luggage)

(Roy sees human Al)

ROY- Did I miss something?

ICHIGO- Nah...

ROY- Yes I did. I know I did. The chapter is practically half over, and Al is human again.

MOTOKO- Do you have any proof!

ROY- Yes. points to Al

MOTOKO- You think you're so smart!

ROY-Yes.

MOTOKO- STOP CONFUSING ME!

ROY- No.

MOTOKO- KYAAAAAAH!

(Motoko passes out)

RAVEN- Finally!

(I think now would be a good time to explain the dangers of scurvy. Scurvy is a disease I guess that supposedly occurs when you don't get enough vitamin C or something. Vitamin C is milk and oranges and stuff. The first case of scurvy was in 1541 or something. Scurvy can mess up your bones and organs and stuff, but you probably won't get it if you're under 7 months old. If you're under 7 months old, X out this page and find a nice, K rated fic to read, because this one is T. Scurvy can eventually lead to hemorrhages and sudden death. So eat fruits and drink milk and you'll be A-OK!)

RAVEN- What on Earth was that about!

ICHIGO- My thoughts exactly.

ALPHONSE- I really don't know.

EDWARD- Me either.

ROY- It was about scurvy.

MOTOKO- That's what happens when the author is unable, unwilling, or unavaliable to write. Random info comes up.

ICHIGO- Is it gonna happen again?

MOTOKO- It won't not happen again.

RAVEN- This concept of 'scurvy' confuses and infuriates me! I'm off to the onsen!

ICHIGO- Good idea.

MOTOKO- Yeah!

(At some sort of lobby thing to check into the onsen-majigger)

HOTEL DRONE- Okay, Your reservations for a party of 6 to the name Ms.Oterai are valid. (Oterai means toilet in Japanese. Motoko made reservations under 'oterai' as a joke, but the punchline's kinda in the wrong spot --;;)

MOTOKO­- Hee hee.

HOTEL DRONE- Okay. I'll need your ages...

ROY- I'm 22.

HOTEL DRONE- No, you're not.

ROY- 26?

HOTEL DRONE- Yeah, I'll buy it. Close enough, anyway.

EDWARD- 15.

ALPHONSE- 14.

RAVEN-15.

ICHIGO-14.

MOTOKO-14!

HOTEL DRONE- Okay. Here at the Kaoru Mizu hotel, we have a different way to stop perverts from spying on other people glares at Roy (Kaoru Mizu means Fragrant Water. Kinda a weird name for a hotel...)

ROY- What?

HOTEL DRONE- Okay. The onsen's here are seperated by age, children under 8 stay with their parents in the small childern onsen. Children is 9-14...

MOTOKO- Okay...

HOTEL DRONE- Young adult is 15-25, and adult is 26+. hands people little ticketey-thingys

ROY- Damn! If only I had lied one year younger...

(Aww...poor Roy. You almost kinda feel a wee bit bad for him. Maybe not D...oh...meanwhile at the children's onsen...)

MOTOKO- Blah blah blah blah!

ICHIGO- Blah blah blah.

MOTOKO- Blah.

ICHGIO- Blah?

ALPHONSE- Umm...why are you guys talking like that?

MOTOKO- Blah!

(Hmm...very interesting. Let's see what Ed and Raven are up to...)

EDWARD- -- ...

RAVEN- 0/0 ...

(Hm. Okay then. I wonder what Roy is doing, although we can assume it is boring and repetative. Let's watch!)

(Roy is all alone except for some old hag named Mavis)

ROY- If only I had lied one year younger...

(Roy goes to spy on some pretty girls in the young adults onsen)

MAVIS- HYYYAH! hits Roy Mustang very very hard

ROY- What the hell was that for!

MAVIS- You pervert! That'll teach you too spy on my granddaughters! It just so happend that I am a master of Tae Kwon Do! HYYYYYYYYYA!

(Mavis continues to beat Roy up.)

ICHIGO- Blah blah blah! ((Go Mavis!))

(Later...)

MOTOKO- examining ticketey-thingys Well, that contest I won pays for one night hotel reservations for me and 5 friends...

ICHIGO- Quite coincidentally.

MOTOKO- ...it's 2 bedrooms, and all purpose traditional Japanese room for, like, ghost stories and what have you. And free kareoke (sp?) in the bar at 7. That goes till 9, I guess...Oh! Hey! Free food, too!

RAVEN- The kareoke (sp?) sounds like fun...at 7. What time is it now?

ROY- checks watch 6:30.

MOTOKO- Yeah, singing is great and all, but you guys aren't looking at the big picture!

ICHIGO- What the hell does that mean!

MOTOKO- Food! pulls out large picture of a donut

EDWARD- I haven't said anything in a while...

ALPHONSE- Me either.

RAVEN- Well, let's get going to that kareoke (again...sp?)

MOTOKO- Okay! jumps down stairs Wheeeeeeeeeee!

ICHIGO- Umm...Toko-chan? The bar is right here.

MOTOKO- I'm okay!

(Some 23 minutes later at the kareoke (sp?) place)

MOTOKO- Okay, it looks like they have a lot of music...good, good.

ROY- picks up Fullmetal Alchemist soundtrack Hey! What the hell is this!

MOTOKO- Ummm...er... whispers to Raven This is really gettin' hard to explain, Nee-san ((If any of you are wondering why I call my sister 'nee-san' it is because 'nee-san (-chan, -sama...)' and 'oneechan (-san,-sama...) means 'older sister'. If you think I am calling her 'Brother', you are thinking of the word 'Nii-san' or 'Oniisan'))

RAVEN- Uh...er...eh...hm. Hey, Roy! You should sing that song! points to Asian Kung-Fu Generation's song 'Rewrite' on CD case.

ROY- I don't know that song..

MOTOKO- I can fix that!

(Motoko pulls out giant pencil and stabs Roy through head)

ROY FANGIRLS- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

RAVEN- Why the hell did you do that!

ICHIGO- Is he dead?

ROY- twitch twitch

EDWARD- Yay! sings Ding-dong the witch is dead...

ALPHONSE- ...!

MOTOKO- Aw, relax. All I did was altar his memories a little...just so now he knows the song.

RAVEN- YOU CAN DO THAT!

MOTOKO- erases everyones memories of insane pencil antics

EDWARD- What were we doing...?

MOTOKO- Heh heh heh...my secret lives on another day!

For a moment, I would like to point out that whenever I say someone is speaking, I write out their entire first name. I would also like to add that I am quite sick of doing this. So, from here on out, whenever Al or Ed talk, the speaking tags will be written as 'AL-' or 'ED-' as opposed to 'ALPHONSE-' or 'EDWARD-'. You know their names by now. Okay? Same goes for any other people we meet in the future.

MOTOKO- I guess I'll go first...hm...

(puts song 'DDR-Moonlight Shadow by Missing Heart in machine doesn't even bother to try to spell 'kareoke' anymore'.)

MOTOKO- sings The trees that whisper in the evening

carried away by a moonlight shadow

sing a song of sorrow and grieving

Carried away by a moonlight shadow. thinks I wonder if Krispy Kreme is open now...

MACHINE- Your score...on that song was...69 (Wah. No joke intended. If you do not understand the joke, you are lucky. Just ignore the number, kay?)

MOTOKO- I'd say that's pretty good!

RAVEN- thinking That was pretty good! saying Good job, Toko-chan!

ICHIGO- thinking Is that a DDR song...? saying Yay Motoko!

ROY- thinking I didn't know she liked to sing... saying That was pretty good.

ED- thinking What the hell is that thing! saying points at kareoke (sigh...) machine What the hell is that thing!

AL- thinking That was really good! saying That was good, Motoko!

MOTOKO- Okay...who wants to go next? dead silence Okay. Let's settle this the only way humanly possibe-alphabetical order! thinks Rr... thinks hard Uwa... thinks too hard GWAUGH! WHO IS FIRST ALPHEBETICALY!

RAVEN- Al is.

MOTOKO- Okay. Whaddya wanna sing, Al?

AL- Um...actually, I really don't like singing. Is it okay if I don't?

MOTOKO- Ah...you're so damn cute!

(Motoko hugs Al)

MOTOKO- Wheeee!

AL- Aaah!

(Motoko knocks a few tables over)

MOTOKO- Heh heh...oops.

AL- Ow. --

MOTOKO- So who's gonna go next? more dead silence

ROY- I will!

ROY FANGIRLS- He's so daring!

ICHIGO- Ah...shuddup!

ROY-((these lyrics are strictly authors guess)) sings Geshka se...mirai dohshte

Ekawa idetsumo kimi wa daie deka tenshi saranan

thinking I did good. I know I did good.

MACHINE- Your score...on that song was...95.

ROY FANGIRLS- He's so talented!

MOTOKO- thinks I'm kinda hungry... says ...

RAVEN- thinks Wow. he's really good at this! says Wow! You did really good!

AL- thinks Who knew the Colonel could sing so well... says That was awesome!

ED- thinks Damn him! says ...

ICHIGO- thinks That actually was pretty good. says You're good at this!

((It's not done yet, but almost...))