AUTHOR'S NOTE: I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! Yipe:hides as readers throw various objects at her: Okay! Okay! I'm sorry I haven't written in such a long time, but that's no reason to kill me:moves head barely out of the way of a flying kitchen sink: RELAX! DAMN IT, RELAX! I'm writing, okay?

Anyway, I have an excuse ready in case of something like this: (valid, too) See, my dad just got a new computer and I can't get on it because I might kill that one like I killed the old one. (Actually, I went on a site that some poet wannabe sent me and the damn computer just shitted out on me…) In short, I AM VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY SORRY! It might happen again. I'm writing this on the school computer, so there. See how much I love you guys!

DISCLAIMER: If I owned Relic Hunter, don't you think that it would still be on the air WITH new episodes?

THANKS TO:

Adele – Of course Nigel's going to get hurt! (Or is he…?) lol, thanks though.

Alma – Gotta love Spanish. I actually liked that part. Lol. Thanks.

KMSOrligirl – I don't know about the faint from heat thing. Good idea though. Thanks for reading!

"Oh, this is going to be just great," Nigel said, "Remind me to write all of this down one day?"

Sydney chuckled softly as she removed her shoes and put them in her bag. Nigel and Alex did the same, getting ready to cross the icy river.

They stepped in, and someone gasped at the low temperature. No one was sure who it was.

Each step brought the trio into deeper water. Within six steps the water was up to their shoulders.

"Should have bought a raft or something!" Alex yelled, grinning at the overall excitement.

Sydney could have said something, but decided to keep her mouth shut so she could concentrate on crossing safely.

Next to her, Sydney could hear her assistant swearing softly, trying to keep upright on the slippery river rocks.

Then he disappeared.

Nigel's head went under the water and didn't come back up.

"Nigel?" called Sydney.

She felt around in the water where he had been standing.

Nothing.

She swore, calling for Alex to stop.

Sydney knew Nigel wasn't a very strong swimmer.

"Nigel!" she called again.

A blonde head bobbed to the surface and she yelled again, diving after it. The current caught them both, sending them flying.

Everything went silent when Sydney was swept underwater. She opened her eyes, not really expecting to see anything. The brown-green water nearly froze them open.

Sydney floundered her way to the surface, gasping for air. Her lungs were still burning from the lack of oxygen, but she still called for Nigel again anyway.

"Over here!" a faint cry from her right.

The woman turned to see her friend clinging to a partially submerged rock with one hand. A rivulet of blood ran into his mouth, the red turning to pink every time the water splashed over his face.

"Nigel, stay right there!" Sydney choked out, spitting a mouthful of river water.

He rolled his azure eyes sarcastically, "Like I really have a choice?"

They both heard Alex's yell of warning.

"Sydney, look out!"

Instinctively, she turned around to see a huge tree, lucky enough to be dislodged from the earth at the time, heading straight towards her! The current sped it up, but she ducked in time to avoid it.

Sydney came back up swearing.

Nigel clung to the rock for dear life. His head throbbed with its new pain. There must have been a bleeding gash, because his vision was tainted red in one eye and he had a metallic taste in his mouth.

Alex yelled to Sydney, seeing the huge log floating at her. She ducked, avoiding it and it was on it's way to him.

"Oh, bloody hell…" he muttered.

Nigel brought his other arm up to hold onto the rock. His wrist screamed in protest, but he ignored it and kept his grip anyway and braced himself for impact…

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, CLIFFY:runs and hides again so readers can't throw things:

Nigel: Why am I always getting hurt in these dumb fan fics?

Sydney: I don't know. Ask her. :points out authoress's hiding place:

Me: ahem :steps out of hiding, glaring at Sydney: It's because you're so cute and hot and innocent.

Nigel: . Huh? Why did that NOT make sense?

Me: Everyone (coughgirlscough) like to take care of you. Or—

Nigel: Really?

Me: Or they like seeing you in pain…

Nigel (pouts): (OMFG HOTT) Not nice…

Me: Don't worry, it gets a lot worse.

Nigel: HOW?

Me: Okay everyone! That's it for now. Sorry it was so short:ignoring Nigel's protests: Hope you review, although I don't really deserve it for being so bad on updating.

:walks off with Nigel following, demanding to know why people are obsessed with hurting him:

This was lame, but oh well.

REVIEW!