Chapter 36: The Return of Finn

"Mer…What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm making Carwyn's lunch." Meredith kept her eyes diverted from her blonde friend, tired of explaining herself over and over to Izzie.

"You can't avoid him forever you know. He's your boss… and the father of your children."

Meredith shook her head annoyed. "Actually, I can."

"And what about Carwyn? You think you're being fair to her?" Izzie lowered her voice so the small five-year-old who sat alone at the kitchen table wouldn't hear.

"Izzie, seriously? Why do you care so much? Carwyn's fine. She gets to be with Derek on Monday's and Wednesday's and I'm still figuring out the weekends. We're fine. I'm fine. Carwyn's fine. We. Are. All. Fine."

"Derek's not fine." Izzie challenged.

"Derek…" Meredith sighed, placing the turkey sandwich and a small ziplock with a cut up apple in the pink lunch box. She turned to the fridge to retrieve the chilled juice box as she struggled to blink the fresh tears away. "Derek will be fine. I'm doing him a favor… he just needs to see that."

Izzie shook her head frustrated. No matter how many times any of them tried to talk to Meredith, they just couldn't get her to see. No matter what they did, they couldn't shake any sense into her.

She had rebuilt her walls they thought were long gone and so far everyone had failed at getting through to her.

"So, this is a change."

"What?"

"You eating lunch with us. It's almost like the old days." Alex said with a large bite of hamburger and bun in his mouth.

"Ya.. well…" Meredith shrugged, pushing the small red cherry tomato around her plastic plate.

"It does feel like the old days." George quipped in, catching the end of their conversation, and settling himself between Meredith and Izzie.

"It hasn't been that long since I've sat with you guys at lunch." Meredith huffed.

"Whatever Mer. For the last six months you only ate with McDrea…." Cristina stopped when she saw the heated look shot her way. "Oh sorry. I forgot we weren't allowed to mention you know who."

The four friends laughed as Meredith scowled back. She opened her mouth to shoot back something smart when the handsome dark-haired doctor came into view.

Meredith's green eyes immediately latched with the piercing blue ones and her breath caught in her throat. He looked tired. Depressed. She couldn't break her stare, and the four other sets of eyes followed her gaze to see Derek, standing motionless across the room.

Everyone held their breath, completely interested in what would happen. They had both been adamant about avoiding one another and this was one of their first interactions since she'd been back at the hospital.

After a few intense moments, Meredith finally looked away. A broad range of emotions washed over her. Guilt, regret, emptiness, hopelessness.

She sucked in a breath and stood; letting the fork she dropped clatter loud on her tray. She repeated over and over in her head she was doing this for Derek, giving him a chance at uncomplicated, letting him walk away guilt free.

She stole one last look across the room before turning and hurrying away in the opposite direction.

Derek stood there numb. Unable to stop the anger that was rising once again in his chest. He glanced at the prepackaged salads sitting neatly in a row on the meal cart and shook his head.

He turned and exited the door he had just entered empty handed. He all the sudden didn't have an appetite.

Meredith leaned tiredly against the wall and rubbed her left arm. The cast had been off for over two weeks but every now and then a dull ache would shoot through the bone.

"You okay?" Callie asked concerned, bringing Meredith from her thoughts.

"What.. oh .. ya.. fine." Meredith gave a half smile.

Callie shook her head amused. "How's your arm?"

"Fine." Meredith said a little too cheerful, a little too fake.

"Meredith." Callie's voice was motherly, like a warning.

"Really Callie. I'll be fine. I'm just tired. I was here early and still have three more hours left on my shift. It's been a long day."

Callie nodded slowly but decided not to push. A small excited voice caused them both to look up down the hall and see Carwyn come running full speed at them both.

"Hi Mama!"

"Hi baby. What are you doing?" Meredith furrowed her brows. It was a Wednesday and Derek would be picking her up from pre-school and taking her to his trailer, but it was still kind of early, he normally got off when she did.

"Daddy's taking me somewhere special!" She said bouncing up and down.

A heavy feeling settled in Meredith's stomach as she tried to smile.

"Th..that's great.. Carwyn. Where is your daddy?" She looked around confused.

"He had to get somethin from his office."

Before Meredith could inquire any further, they noticed Derek walking towards them in the hall.

Meredith froze, not sure what to do or say, and Callie watched on curiously.

"You ready Princess?" Derek asked scooping up his curly haired daughter in his arms and kissing her on the cheek.

Carwyn nodded excitedly and Derek smiled. He turned towards Callie and nodded.

"Callie." He acknowledged her before stepping past them both and continuing on his way.

Meredith watched stunned as he disappeared around the corner towards the elevator with Carwyn.

Callie stared at Meredith with wide eyes as her friends expression paled.

"Mer?"

"I'm fine!" Meredith contended, turning on her heel as her pager went off and rushing off in the opposite direction.

"I was paged?" Meredith demanded, her mood foul, her heart sore.

"Yes doctor. We need a consult in trauma bay three. Thirty-five-year-old male brought in for an animal bite." The nurse filled her in, handing over the chart.

Meredith sighed. She was exhausted, emotionally, and physically. And she only had herself to blame for the way her insides twisted and burned.

She drug herself over to the row of curtained off rooms as she flipped through the chart. She wasn't paying much attention as she pushed the curtain aside, stepping in.

"Hello Mr…." Meredith scanned the chart for the patient's identification.

"Meredith?!"

Her head shot up surprised at hearing her name and she took a stunned step back.

Her eyes widened as she took in the man that sat before her on the small exam table. His hair was longer and his mustache was a little fuller. The green sweater he wore looked familiar and Meredith had to blink her eyes, unable to believe what she was seeing.

"F..Finn?" She finally stuttered.

"Long time no see Meredith Grey."

"Ya… it has been long…How…how are you doing?"

Meredith suddenly felt very awkward as she stood before the vet. She tried her hardest to be professional and focus on the dog bite in his right calf, but was having a hard time.

"I'm good… how are you? I see you're pregnant."

"Oh… uh…ya… I mean yes. I'm pregnant. And good. I'm good." She stuttered, feeling like a fool.

She tried to steady her voice and continued. "So… it's been a while. How are things in the animal kingdom?"

"Six years."

"Excuse me?" She asked confused.

"It's been six years… since the last time I saw you. It was at that prom thing, your third year here. You ran out… that was the last time I saw you. I called, I even came over once. But they told me you left. They didn't know where you were. I thought they were lying… covering up for you… but the sadness in their eyes… I knew they were telling the truth."

He watched her intently as she sighed. "Ya… well.. it's kinda a long story. I don't think you'd even believe me."

He sat back, a smile playing on his lips. "Try me."

Meredith started from the beginning, leaving bits and pieces out she didn't think it important for him to know. She explained about the ferry boat accident and the amnesia. She explained about Carwyn, leaving the fact she was conceived during prom out. She explained about the five years wondering around until she ended up here and how the rest was history.

"So…" he spoke as soon as Meredith finished her story. "Now you're pregnant? Is this Dr. Shepherd's baby as well?"

Meredith nodded, keeping her eyes on the open wound she was carefully stitching up.

"And you and Dr. Shepherd are what? Not married… I don't see a ring on your finger. Are you two together?"

Meredith paused a moment, that same heavy feeling returning.

"Currently… we are…. not together." She returned her attention to her expert stitch job.

"Well good! Then you can have coffee with me."

Meredith looked up surprised. She shook her head. "I'm s..sorry. I can't."

He frowned. "Why not? It's just coffee. Two old friends having coffee."

"I don't think that'd be such a good idea."

"Sure it is. I won't take no for an answer."

Meredith stood, finished with her job, and began jotting down notes in his chart.

"I'm sorry Finn.. really…"

"Nonsense." He said standing. He carefully stepped on his freshly stitched leg and grabbed his coat, limping to the door.

He turned one last time before walking out of the room. "Tomorrow. I'll stop by around one."

Meredith's eyes widened and opened her mouth to dispute when she noticed he was gone.

She leaned defeated against the now empty bed and shook her head. This wasn't good. Not good at all.