Heroine

"…I would not let myself believe that you might stray. And I would stand by you no matter what they'd say…"

Sarah McLachlan - Plenty

"You're such a party boy, and you're full of it too! One of these days you're going to get yourself killed!" Faye said, dropping the arm she was pointing in Spike's direction as he stared at her dumbly. That stupid stare, the one that said he was paying attention to something other than her words, looking a bit low of her neck, like he always did. The way his face sulked down, like he was always tired or something, the ways his mouth drooped, it killed her every time his stare was directed toward her.

It was true, Faye was a beautiful woman, and everyone aboard Bebop knew it too. Maybe she as well did, but that wasn't the point. What she was telling that stupid, skinny boy in blue was what mattered. She glared at him sneeringly as Edward jumped up and down next to Ein, giggling and repeating what she had said, "Party boy! Party boy!" and dancing like she always would.

Faye huffed, turning around, bumping into Jet who recoiled back, and moved her cautiously over to the side with his strong arms, one metal. She smiled embarrassed, trying not to sound too stressed out, "Sorry there, big guy."

"Faye, who are you mad at?" It was like he always knew!

"Mad at? No one," she answered quickly, shoving her way out the room, giving Spike one last glare. He rolled his eyes with, what was that, a smirk? Yes, a smirk it was indeed. Did he not find this as serious as she did? The woman ran down the hall, her red sweater flying behind her, hiding something she hadn't felt on her face for a long while, tears. "Mother!" Spike cried down the corridor.

"Delinquent!" the woman snapped back, slamming her bedroom door behind her.

Ed kept dancing as Jet sat down and Spike sat up.

"What was that about?" Jet asked Spike who had the guilty look on his face – as usual, "Well?"

"Faye-Faye says Spike is a Party Boy! Party Boy!"

"Yeah," Spike agreed quietly, catching the little hyper girl as she fell over and propped her up again to continue her spastic dance, "But there's nothing wrong with that."

"I don't think that's all she's worried about," Jet answered grimly, folding his arms and picking up a cigarette.

"Oh, and she's like the mother I never had," Spike said, "Out to make life no fun."

"She has a point that you do go looking for trouble all the time."

"Now THAT was something she did – not – say, in this conversation. You're starting to sound like her. I'll call you Jaye. In her great words of old 'I think that's called bad behavior'. I don't need that from her."

"Jaye! Jaye!" Ed sang, hugging Jet, only to be pushed off and sent flying across the little room and smacked into the wall. She giggled happily, as if the blow was nothing, grabbing Ein by the stomach like he was a doll and making off into the hallway cheerily, humming a tune to herself as loud as she possibly could. Not so much to herself then.

"Jaye? That's not funny," the burly man answered, blowing a plume of smoke toward the ceiling, "How'd it all start?"

"You know that invite I got last time we were in Mars?" Spike started with a sheepish tone, reaching for a cigarette himself.

"I knew it," Jet replied shoving the ciggie into the floor under his boot.

"Well, now you know," Spike said with a frustrated, smoky sigh, "I mean – I'm not the kid here!"

"Oh is that Ed's job now?"

"Always has been!" the younger man retorted, pointing his cigarette down the hall, "I just don't need people telling me what to do. Besides, every time I get into trouble, I've come out alive."

"By a hairline in a few – no let me rephrase with reality in mind – always by a hairline," Jet said, standing to his feet, "You want to know I think?"

"Haven't I HEARD what YOU think, Big Guy?"

"I think that if you look past Faye's BREASTS and into her heart, you'll see something you obviously haven't yet… Party boy."

"What have you seen Faye naked, Jet?" he inquired with an innocent look.

Jet froze, stuttering for an answer. He walked out of the room, shaking his head. Spike took another draw of his cigarette and huffed out a smoggy breath. He just didn't get it…

"Oh what if this is the one. The party I never come back from," a bandaged Spike joked dramatically to Faye who glared at him as Ed held the computer with his email atop her head, "I'm just messing with your head. If I did get into trouble, would you come and save me?"

His question had been romantically, in a cheesy way, directed toward Faye who answered, "Lunkhead."

… Spike lay down on his cot, propping his feet up against the wall. Dropping his cigarette into the ashtray he bit his lip, "What's in her heart?"

He had no clue. Hours passed, and each of those minutes, he thought, trying not to get side tracked, thinking hard, something he hadn't done in a while. He turned over on his stomach, lighting another cigarette, his fifteenth in the past two hours, he hadn't noticed. He kept asking himself, and he got nothing, "What's in her heart?"

"Lunkhead."

"What's in your heart, Faye?" he asked, again, scratching his head.

"You always seem to be getting yourself into trouble, some people call that bad behavior…"

"What the hell is it?" he whispered, laying his head down on his pillow and staring at the grey wash wall with a sigh, and yet another draw at his ciggie.

"…but there's nothing I can do about it, huh?"

"There's nothing I can do about this!"

Spike sat up quickly, whirling around, quickly throwing ciggie number seventeen down into the dark, smoky tray, and bounding off into the fresher air of the hallway. He ran down to the kitchen. Ed was singing a song to Ein, on the floor not to mention, waving the dog's arms around and bopping her head this way and that. Faye was seated on the couch, peeling an apple. Spike took a deep breath and sat down next to her.

"What am I, toxic?" she asked, noting his deep breath in.

He swallowed; running a hand through is green-blue hair.

"What do you want?" she inquired just as sharply, peeling the apple quicker, and much more carelessly.

"Can I ask you a question?" he said, watching her neck, kind of trying to look at her eyes, but they were like hawk eyes, intimidating, and it scared him a bit. She didn't answer him, and he didn't know whether to take that as a 'yes' or an 'I'm not listening to you'. So, he just kept going, "What's in your heart?"

"Huh?" she raised an eyebrow at him, saying nothing more.

"I mean," he said, slapping his face clumsily, then staring back at her neck, "What you told me today, I um…thought about it."

His pride had officially been shot down with a couple 44s and gone to hell.

"You thought about it, did you?" she said, throwing the apple at Ed who caught it and started feeding it to Ein.

"Yes," he stammered. His stomach sunk, he felt so…powerless. There were no more walls there that made him the 'man' in the case. He didn't like it that much.

"And what was the outcome of your thoughts?"

"A bunch of questions," he said, hanging his head, tired of staring at her neck, and at least now he could see her breasts out of the corner of his eye, "Mainly, why do you nag at me about my 'bad behavior'?"

"How much did Jet pay you to act sensitive to me?" she asked, pulling his blue jacket collar so he could sit up straight, "C'mon, tell me."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, getting a bit defensive, slapping her hand off him, at least that gave her the hint that he really didn't know what she was saying. Folding her arms, Faye scratched her nose, "I nag at you because you're going to get yourself killed."

"But what if Ed were going to get herself killed, would you nag at her as much?" Spike pressed, really trying to get the to the point of his questioning.

"Ed isn't as stupid as you," Faye said harshly, standing to her feet, wrapping her sweater around her arms again, "I've never had to save someone's ass as much I've had to yours."

"You worry about me because I'm stupid?" Spike inquired, a bit more confused than he already was.

"I don't WORRY about you. I just don't want someone on the crew getting killed. That would mean a replacement, and that's never good luck."

"Last I heard, you don't believe in luck. So you like me here?"

"I didn't say that."

"But it's what you mean, isn't it?" he said, a smug smile on his face.

She shook her head, "You're full of it!" and stomped away again.

He got up to follow her, realizing he'd done something wrong, once more, "Faye, wait!"

"Just give up, Party Boy! Forget I ever said anything to you. It's your life, and apparently you don't care what you do with it," she cried, not bothering to stop walking up the steps to her room.

"What do you want to do, protect me?" he cried back, following her up the stairs, "That's nice of you."

"I'm sure it is!" she answered, opening the door to her bedroom, "Everyone wants to protect Spike because he's so great!"

He held the door open so she couldn't shut it in his face, "But I'm not that great. You said so yourself."

His pride had suffered the second death about then, some good 44s in hell, he guessed, "I've got terrible behavior. I don't care what I do with my life. Even Ed's more responsible than I am and she's whacked. All of the sudden you're calling me great, that's a change."

"I bet you like it!" she snapped, prying his hands off the door.

"No I don't!" he shouted, grabbing the edge of the door again.

"LIAR! All you care about is what kind of trouble you can get into next. You don't care about anyone here! I can't believe I thought I loved such a selfish son of a dead bitch! I don't see why I bother trying to protect you when…"

"Faye, listen for just one second, dammit! I want you to…"

He needn't say any more. Her facial expression softened and broke into something Spike had never seen before, ever.

He tried to continue, "I want you to… Because no one else will."

Faye dropped her head, sobbing quietly, tears hitting Spike's shoes. He put his hand on her arm, "I've been an arrogant bastard."

The very soul of his pride had shattered into a million pieces that could never be put back together. Faye shook her head, still crying softly. He pulled the back of her shirt up so she stood up straight again, and gazed hard into her eyes. She looked back up at him, sniffling.

"I want you to be my heroine," he said to her, as cheesy as it was, to her at the time, it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard Party Boy Spike his Royal Delinquent-ness, ever say. He leaned down and kissed her softly, shutting his eyes. The taste of tobacco and the scent of sweat and smoke filled her senses as she slid her tongue into his mouth, groping at his arms, pulling him closer and closer. She lost herself in the way he felt, in the way he smelled, the smoky flavor of his thin pink lips.

Spike took a few little steps closer to her, blinking one eye open, to make sure no one was looking. He carefully shut the door behind them, then turned his attention back toward Faye. She pulled away from him, finding herself in the darkness of her room, the door shut behind him. She pulled her lighter out of the pocket of her sweater, setting it down on the ashtray for light. Her eyes glinted in the lonely fire, as she slipped onto her bed, dragging Spike by his green tie with her. His eyes widened, "Um…"

She put her finger to his lips, "Shh."

He sat down beside, biting her pale thin ear. She sighed, not bothering with a giggle, that would make it sound like she was really enjoying what he was doing to her. And she was, but there was no time for it in her mind. Oh, how she wanted to tell him so many things, how she'd wished they'd have done this from the day she saw him. How she never expected to still be in love with him after years of seeing what he really was made of. But this changed everything. She wanted to tell him how this made everything so different. How her views on him flipped all of the sudden, how she wanted to give him all the love she had. How this respect she had got all of the sudden made her feel…like she was really in love.

He moved his hands down her arms gingerly, as if she were made of glass, slipping her trusty sweater off her arms. She gasped as the cold air attacked her skin, the hairs on her arms standing on end. Spike took note of it, leaning down and breathing his hot breath on her skin, warming her. She shrugged out of her sweater, leading his face back up to hers, kissing him hard again, undoing his tie and throwing it on the floor. Spike pulled his lips from hers, gently pushing her down, her bare back against the bed. He undid her suspenders, throwing those next to his tie, with a quiet laugh. She reached up with her hands, unbuttoning his jacket and shirt teasing his skin, making him jump a little. That gave her reason to laugh. He sighed as he moved her hands further, down his stomach and across his sides, caressing his lanky form.

Faye blinked mischievously at him through her puffy, tear stained eyes, "Like that, do you?"

The man shut his eyes, nodding sheepishly.

Her fingertips wandered lower, slipping under his pants, "How about that?"

Spike moaned lustfully, gripping the bed sheets around Faye's shoulders. She used her other hand to pull him down closer to her, putting his hand on her breast. He began carefully peeling off her yellow skintight shirt, looking away from her flesh as if she didn't want him to see her. She broke a prurient smile, guiding his face back to her body. She shrugged out of her shirt, planting hot kisses on his neck. He could feel her chest heaving up and down against his. He discarded of her shirt, going at her breasts, caressing them with his lips.

Faye gasped, groaning softly, and running her hands through his green blue hair, arching toward him. He moved down to her stomach, teasing her skin, wrapping his thin hand around her slender hips. She grabbed his hand, gazing into his eyes, a need in hers, "Please…"

"I thought you'd never ask," Spike answered her, quickly taking off his belt and slipping off her shorts. He ran his fingertips over her hips, her athletic legs, barely touching her skin, an electric shock that kept her guessing. She sighed with pleasure, look of want on her face. He carefully, slowly, pulled her panties down to her ankles, over her short shoes. He took a moment to look at her, all of her. So THIS was what Faye looked like naked?

"You're so beautiful," he said to her, reaching out to touch her skin, everywhere he could think of, anywhere he could reach to.

"Don't say that," she answered him, a sad look in her iris.

"You are!" he whispered, lying down atop of her, hugging her body close to his.

"I'm not," she answered him faintly.

"As long as I think you are, you will be," he replied quietly, tracing a line down her back where her spine would be under her skin. She arched her back, desiring his touch, needing to feel him. He gently spread her legs, looking at her eyes, that were shut tight, her breathing calm, but shattered at the same time. Spike couldn't wait anymore. He wanted her so badly. He plunged into her, and a doorway opened to a staircase to heaven. He could hear Faye's gasps, and his own, as he drew out of her, and dove right back in. She wrapped her legs around his hips, meeting him skin on skin, their lustful feelings driving them insane.

Faye could feel butterflies slowly creeping into her stomach, making her moan louder and louder as her lover relentlessly thrust into her harder and harder. And she didn't have to ask him to. He wanted this as much as she did. Spike held her off the bed, up close against him, tucking her head under his neck, feeling her hot breath against his heart. The vibrations of her muffled moans sent shivers down his back, bringing him closer and closer to climax.

The woman started making words out of her moans, calling Spike's name, and laughing while she did, realizing how much he liked the way it sounded on her lips, his name. He tried it himself, saying her name, and they both giggled, pushing against eachother. Faye finally orgasmed, coming with white all over her lover. Spike shot hot come into her, collapsing, and dropping her on the bed. She gasped to get her breath back, the feeling in the pit of her stomach rampaging through her body and his. He grabbed her hand, squeezing her fingers mercilessly. She pulled his hair, guiding his face to hers once more, one last time, and kissed him passionately.

"Faye…" he started, breathlessly failing to make words between their hot kisses and sighs, "Why?"

"I…" she breathed, as the feeling subsided, "…love you…"

Spike smiled, trapping her lips in his softly, loosening his grip on her hand.

THAT was what was in her heart, all this time.

"…I'm drunk in my desire. But I love the way you smile at me. I love the way your hands reach out. Hold me near, I believe. I believe…"

Sarah McLachlan – Elsewhere