Chapter 38: Preterm Labor

Meredith hurried down the hall; the sight of Derek's shocked face still fresh in her mind. Her hands shook and she couldn't catch her breath. She finally paused around an empty corner as an intense pain shot through her abdomen.

The muscles squeezed tight, and the searing heat coursed through her body, causing her to double over. The excruciating feeling took her breath away and she all the sudden felt dizzy. She panted a minute until the intensity wore off and slowly the vise around her belly was released.

Catching her breath, Meredith straightened herself and began walking forward slowly, telling herself it was nothing. Probably those Braxton hicks things Addison was warning her about. She felt better as she took her time passing through the hallway, aiming for the restroom.

Only two minutes later, the pain returned, starting at the top of her baby bump and radiating down. The ache was so intense she felt it in her thighs, and she suddenly became nauseous. Gasping through the forceful pressure being asserted on her lower body, she clung to the wall for support as she found the woman's bathroom.

With great difficulty, she swung the heavy door open and dragged herself into a stall. As the tightening again faded, she kneeled before the toilet waiting to throw up. The nausea eased as she knelt on the cool tile, her head sweaty and skin clammy. Meredith again stood, eliciting a sharp pain to shoot through her pelvis.

She gasped and looked down to see bright red blood slowly soak through the upper legs of her scrub pants. A sob escaped her mouth as fresh tears appeared. She was coming around on her thirty first week of pregnancy; this was nine weeks too soon. Fear gripped Meredith as she reached out to the medal wall, bracing herself for the next pain.

"Ummm… are you okay in there…" An unknown voice spoke from outside the stall.

Meredith unlatched the door with shaky hands and swung it open. The young nurse inhaled sharply when she saw the pregnant pale doctor standing before her hunched over in pain.

"No…I need you to…." Meredith panted through the intense contraction. "I need you to page Dr. Montgomery-Sloan."

Derek ran a hand through his hair as he stood impatiently in line at the new Starbucks cart in the lobby. He needed coffee. He needed strong black caffeine filled liquid to get his mind off of Meredith. Off of Meredith and the vet and the laughing and the touching. It was making him nauseous. Actually, physically, sick to his stomach.

His initial feelings of hurt and jealousy were quickly turning into anger. He was mad. How could Meredith be so quick to move on? How could she do this to him, and with Finn, nonetheless? It was almost too much to handle.

Derek snappishly ordered his coffee and paid for the java with a testy shove of a five-dollar bill. He didn't bother waiting for his change as he scoffed off, needing to be alone, needing to think.

His mood continued to grow fouler and fouler as he paced a deserted hallway. Meredith was slipping through his hands; his happiness, his future, was falling through his fingers.

Derek turned and lifted a foot to kick a trash can that sat innocently to the side when an annoying familiar voice stopped him in his tracks. He groaned and brought a hand to his head, easing the immediate throbbing at his temples with two fingers.

"Aww.. Dr. Shepherd!"

"Aww.. Dr. Finn." Derek mocked, not bothering to hide his contempt.

"So... it's been a while." For some reason the vet thought the neurosurgeon wanted to talk.

"Not really." Derek turned and finally faced him, plastering a mimicked grin on his face.

Finn furrowed his brows, not completely grasping the purposed sarcasm of the other man.

"Oh…well… anyways…I ran into Meredith yesterday down in the ER. I was just stopping by to grab a cup of coffee with her…so we could catch up... but it seems she's busy. We'll probably do it later."

Derek furrowed his brows now. Was Finn doing this on purpose? Was he trying to get a rise out of him? Or was he just completely ignorant of everything going on?

Derek held his styrofoam coffee cup up to his lips and took a long sip, deciding to remain silent.

Finn continued smiling, not in the least put off by Derek's cold stare, still completely oblivious to the awkwardness of the situation.

"So, you and Meredith had a thing?" Finn asked, finally pushing Derek over the edge.

"Look…" Derek stepped close to the surprised vet's face and hissed. "Whatever hopes you had coming here today… whatever plans you had made in your tiny head… forget about them! Meredith and I did not have a thing. We are a thing. We are in love, and we are going to get married. Just because she's scared right now and trying to push me away does not mean that you get to prance in here and take advantage of her vulnerability. I will not let that happen. She is minepony boy so tuck your tail between your legs and get the hell out of my hospital!"

Finn rocked back, completely taken back from the sudden outburst of the irate doctor.

"I think that's a little uncalled for. Jealous much?" Finn folded his arms across his chest and smirked.

Bright lights flashed behind Derek's eyes as his breathing became fast. He imitated Finn's gesture, crossing his own arms, and stood to his tallest height.

"Do you really want to push the matter?" Derek raised his eyebrows challengingly.

"I'm just saying… Meredith made it clear you two were not together. She's available. And I think it should be up to her who she wants to date and who she doesn't. Just because you knocked her up…twice... doesn't give you the right to…"

Finn didn't even see the fist coming as it connected with a satisfying crack to his nose, sending him flailing backwards. He doubled over, holding a hand over his face as the blood dripped from his nostrils.

Finn looked back up and met Derek's dark enraged eyes with his own wide shocked ones. He quickly retreated from the still fuming hovering doctor.

"What the…I can't believe… Are you…" Finn continued his backward retreat, a bewildered expression across his face.

He stopped and opened his mouth as if he was going to continue to challenge the neurosurgeon, but was impeded by the heated warning shot from Derek.

He shook his head and finally turned, quickly hurrying away, mumbling under his breath something about not being able to wait to tell someone named Stormy what happened.

Derek waited until Finn disappeared around the corner until he shook his hand out, the pain shooting through his knuckles. He figured that probably wasn't the smartest thing he ever did, but thought, damn it felt good.

The noise of his pager shook him out of his daze, as he turned on his heel and smiled. It was time to get back to work, and then later it would be time to find Meredith and make her listen.

Enough of this charade. He was through playing around. He would sit Meredith down and make her listen. If he had to yell until he was blue in the face, he would find a way to get it through her thick skull that no matter how hard she pushed…. he wasn't going anywhere.

Derek sat in his office, desperately trying to focus on the paperwork in front of him but finding it extremely difficult. All he could see was the sight of Meredith and Finn, laughing together in the hall, her hand delicately rested on his forearm. It made him sick to his stomach. It made him angry.

Derek's smile had vanished by the time the elevator slowly crawled to the Obstetrics floor, and he stepped off with a frown. Why was he being paged to labor and delivery? This part of the wing was definitely not surgical, and he had nothing to do with it.

He stepped annoyed to the large nurses' desk and drummed his fingers impatiently on the flat surface as he addressed two nurses on duty.

"I was paged?" He didn't hide his irritation.

"You were?" The oldest of the two furrowed her brows and re-read the doctors name on his name tag. She raised her eyebrows when she saw who exactly the impatient doctor was and immediately grew nervous.

"Oh..um…I'm sorry sir… let me just… hold on one sec." She picked up the phone and pushed a few buttons before turning her back to Derek, anxiously trying to find out who had paged the Chief of Surgery.

After a quick hushed conversation that caused Derek to grow even more agitated, the nurse finally turned back to him, as the drumming of his fingers became rapid and terse.

"I'm sorry sir… you're needed in room 5008. I didn't get details."

Derek rolled his eyes and quickly turned on his heel. He used quick large strides to cross the hall, eager to get this nonsense over with.

"Meredith! I need you to calm down! Meredith … just breathe… you need to breathe for your baby! Calm down…" Addison's voice rang out over all the frantic beeping and commotion in the small labor-delivery room.

Meredith tried to do as ordered, holding the clear plastic oxygen mask over her nose and mouth, breathing in and out. She was scared, more scared than she had ever been in her entire life. More afraid then when she laid awake at night in the crowded homeless shelter in the church's basement not knowing who she was. More frightened than when she fought for her life with Chris O'Dandridge. And more terrified then when she realized he came back to finish the job.

Her baby was in danger. This innocent child who depended on her for safety and nourishment was now on the brink of coming into this world too soon.

Meredith shook her head, her eyes wide like a small child as she looked to Addison for comfort.

"I can't … I don't… ohhhhhooowwweee!" She called out as the next contraction came with shocking force.

Addison frowned, averting her eyes from Meredith. This wasn't good. She was doing everything she could and still the labor progressed. Realistically the odds of survival for a baby at thirty-one weeks gestation weren't too bad. But they weren't perfect either. And the complications that followed a premature delivery were numerous and she wanted to avoid any potential health problems she could, for both baby and mother.

"Do another round of Indomethacin and start the magnesium sulfate." Addison ordered again, sending the nurses and interns back into action.

She kept her eyes trained on the fetal monitor, trying to block out Meredith's sobs that echoed through the room. She was a doctor. She needed to remain professional. She needed to do her job and forget that this woman was the closest thing she'd had to a true friend in over a decade.

She let out a breath as the heart rate steadied and turned to the second monitor and noticed the intensity of Meredith's contractions were finally easing up.

Addison finally let her eyes meet Meredith's scared ones again and offered a smile.

"Everything's going to be okay Meredith. Your baby's fine. And if you just continue to focus on your breathing and lying still… everything will be just fine."

Meredith nodded, the effect of the narcotics finally taking its toll, as her body's temperature rose, and her eyes grew heavy.

Addison turned to another doctor and ordered softly. "Let's inject an antenatal corticosteroid, just to be on the safe side. Make it betamethasone." The drug was a steroid to give the baby's lungs an extra boost, just in case it still decided to make its entry early. She wasn't sure how long the labor stopping medicine would be effective.

The doctor nodded in obedience and went to work, finding the right syringe and calculating the correct dosage. After she finished injecting the drug properly, Addison nodded to excuse the rest of the medical personnel, waiting until she was alone with Meredith before speaking.

"Meredith." She started, her voice careful. "We have to tell Derek."

"What?! No! I mean… not yet… it's just…" Her words grew slow and were heavy, as she struggled against the sedation. "Not yet... please Addie."

Meredith blamed herself for the sudden premature labor and couldn't stand to think what Derek would think of her. Even though everyone was always telling her to slow down and take it easy, she hadn't once listened, believing herself to be invulnerable.

It was all falling down on her now, like a ton of bricks. She had pushed Derek away to avoid the pain of him one day pushing her away. And now, when he would find out what happened, there was no doubt in her mind that he would blame her. And then he would hate her. And that would hurt more than when she had walked away from him. The pain she was so desperately trying to protect herself from was coming around to hit her square in the heart.

Addison watched as Meredith struggled to keep her eyes open. Her body tired from the ordeal and the drugs giving the extra push. She waited until Meredith's eyes finally shut and her breathing became even before taking a final glance at the monitors that beeped an even satisfying tone, and leaving the room. She had Derek paged minutes earlier and knew he'd be there any moment.

Derek found the room he had been directed to and just as he was about to push the door open, Addison stepped out, blocking his entrance.

"Addison?!" He said startled. "Did you page me?"

Addison carefully shut the door behind her, hindering his view into the room before she began.

"Derek… I need to talk to you."

Her serious tone took Derek by surprise and he furrowed his brow.

"What's going on?"

Addison tilted her head and searched for the right way to start. She opened her mouth to offer an explanation, but wasn't able to get the first word out before realization hit Derek.

He gasped. "Meredith?! No!" An array of conflicting emotions took flight inside Derek. "It's …it's too early!"

"Derek, calm down." Addison put a hand on Derek's chest to stop him from pushing past her.

"Let me go Addie." He warned.

"Derek." She countered, her voice firmer. "Just listen to me for a moment. I was able to stall the labor and the baby's stable. But Derek… she needs to take it easy. She's still not out of the woods and she doesn't need to be upset right now. She can't take it. The baby won't take it."

"Okay… fine… I get that. Now will you let me by?"

"She didn't want me to tell you Derek. She isn't ready to face you."

Derek's heart broke all over again. He didn't know it was possible to hurt so much without physically being injured.

"Addie." Now his voice cracked.

She nodded after a moment, seeing the devastation in his eyes. She stepped to the side, enabling Derek to open the door and step inside the room. She pulled the door shut behind him to give him privacy, and continued down the hall, hoping Derek would miraculously find a way to get through to her stubborn friend.

Once inside the room, Derek paused. He let his eyes adjust to the dim light and took in the numerous monitors and machines the small woman was hooked up to. His eyes settled a minute on the rapid even rhythm coming from the machine monitoring the tiny baby inside the woman he loved. He smiled, knowing that at least for now, the baby was safe.

His eyes then traveled to Meredith's beautiful face. Even in sleep she looked breath taking and the absence of her touch and kisses began to take its toll. He loved this woman. He needed this woman. And he was pretty sure she needed him too.

He wasn't sure why she was being so adamant at pushing him away. But he knew that he wasn't going anywhere until she had heard him out. Until he figured out what was driving her need to ruin her personal happiness. Her happy ever after.

Derek settled himself in the empty cushioned chair to the side of her bed. He'd wait. Even if he had to wait all day, all night. He'd wait until she awoke and he would begin the daunting task of fixing their broken relationship. Of fixing his broken heart. Of fixing his happy ever after.