Disclaimers and info for the entire story - only posted in first chapter:
Background: season 1 and 2 - All eps that has to do with Madison and Susie. (Tweaks and Freaks, Big Brother, Money for Nothing, The oath) - There will also be talking about events that happen in season 3, but these details are not necessarily accurate...

I do write about Yelina learning the truth about Madison. This does not happen the same way as in the series, even thoug I use the same exuse to tell... I haven't seen season 3, so I can't use the details, but I had no better idea for how it would happen.

... The truth about Raymond is not yet revealed!

Sequel: This story follows "Taraxacum officinale", but is not strictly necessary to read that to follow this.
Names: Many people write the name Suzie. On the note in Tweaks and Freaks, it is written Susie, so I go with the name written that way.
Parings: none – this is pure friendship, but strong feelings are involved.

Disclaimer: Nope - still don't own any of them. Certainly not making money on it!

Beta-reader: Welly! Thank you for helping me correcting what is for mea foreign language!


Chapter ONE: Promises.

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Benjamin Franklin

Horatio picked up the drawing on his desk and reminded himself to put it up on the wall, maybe he could even frame it for the future. The awkwardness towards Susie was finally cleared and they had established a solid friendship based on equal trust and blood bonding through Madison. It was 3 weeks since he had been invited for Susie's birthday and he found it easier to pick up the phone just to call and say good night. He enjoyed the updates on Madison's day, and also the enthusiasm in Susie's voice when she had something new to tell. Personally, it was like balsam to his soul each time she asked him how he was, and he slowly approached the point where he felt he could completely open up to her. The relationship had previously been unbalanced by the fact that she felt she owed him something, but balance was gained when he made it clear he needed them in his life, just as much as they needed him.

Madison had also picked up on the new openness between the two adults, and was less shy in his presence than before. She had drawn him this picture as a gift to have in his office; a picture of a tall man and a small girl, and the words "TO HORATIO FROM MADISON, 6" in crayon capital letters. It was a picture of a safe world, where nothing bad could happen as long as a grown-up was watching over you. It felt good that the girl opened up to him and trusted him, so that he in return could tell her he was always there to protect her.

"You are in late." Yelina peeked into his office, her black curled hair cascading down her shoulders. He looked up from the desk, smiling at her.

"From Madison?" she asked, nodding in direction of the child's art.
"Yes," he smiled, laying the sheet down on the desk again. He did not elaborate further, feeling that the less he talked about Susie and Madison, the less he lied to Yelina. It was a lie that started the day Madison entered his life. He was once called to a crime scene; a girl had been pulled over and meth been found in her car. She mentioned Raymond's name and claimed Horatio could vouch for her. So he did. The meth belonged to her abusive husband, Bob, and her child belonged to Horatio's brother Raymond. From that moment his life had made one abrupt turn after another, and the mess his brother had left had forced him to make him two colliding promises; The first being to protect his brother's daughter, and the second to continue protecting Yelina and Ray Jr. Those two promises he silently made that day would ache inside him every day since.

His promise to protect Yelina was harder than he had foreseen. She demanded not to be protected, she demanded the truth, and in the end he couldn't give it to her. He wasn't sure if he even knew the truth himself. Sure he knew some; he knew about his brother's daughter, and also who killed him, but he did not come close to knowing what made Raymond make these decisions in the first place.

Horatio always likes to give the victims family closure, the one thing he failed giving himself. He assumes that is what Yelina needs too, closure. At least he gave her a name of the killer, hoping that would give her closure enough to sleep through the nights. He, on the other hand, was left with more questions than answers. What would have happened if Raymond wasn't killed? What if he had gotten the opportunity to know his daughter? What if he hadn't been forced to stand up for Susie to her abusive husband? What if Susie had never been pulled over that night and needed someone to vouch for her? All events linked in a chain leading to somewhere Horatio did not know, and the lack of control was what scared him the most.

Some people would say he was strong. Some would admire his ability to protect the ones he loved, by carrying such a tremendous secret. No one would see that what was even harder for him than carrying this secret was letting it go.

"So", Yelina said, "I guess you have been seeing Susie a lot lately?" She asked innocently looking at the drawing again. He sensed a hint of steel beneath the soft voice. This was clearly an important question for her, and it was even a more important answer for him. While the relationship with Susie was pure and free of sexual attraction, it was not so in the case of Yelina. There had always been some sort of tension between them, even when Raymond was alive, but none of them had ever really acted upon it. Yelina truly loved her husband, and as far as Horatio knew, Raymond truly did love Yelina as well. If he had the chance, he would have liked to confront Raymond about Susie, but his murder had put an efficient stop to that, and Horatio was left to deal with the mess he had made. Truth be told, he was sick and tired of cleaning up Raymond's mess, and this time it was permanent.

"Yes, I have been seeing her a few times now," he answered, unwilling to say anything more. He wasn't comfortable letting Yelina believe there was more between Susie and himself than there actually were, but he was even less comfortable explaining.

"I am wrapping up now," he shifted subject while closing the files on the desk in front of him. "Can I walk you to the car?"
"Yes," she smiled at him, waiting for him to finish up. It warmed him hearing that small three letter word. Not so long ago she refused being walked to the car by him, because she was disappointed in him for not telling her about Susie and Madison. That day she had spotted him with them, she instantly saw the Caine in Madison. The thought of the girl being her husband's was probably a hundred miles away, and the only reasonable explanation would be that the girl was his; especially since he obviously had a close relationship with her mother, getting a kiss on the cheek by Madison, and was helping them finding an apartment. Even he would have jumped to that conclusion if it was the other way around. He only would have liked her to have given him a chance to explain. He was so close that day, the words was even about to tip out of his tongue and hit the air when she interrupted him and told him she knew. "I know who they are," she said. "The girl, I know who she is." His heart nearly stopped in that moment, when he thought she knew about Raymond. The moment was over, and he had never found the right time, nor the courage, to correct her wrongly assumptions.

"Coming?" Her voice dragged him back to the present, leading him out of the past and out of the office. He caught up with her in three steps and walked beside her down to the car.

Next chapter will be up soon...
Please read and review. I would like to know what you think.
Please be gentle with me :-)