Chapter two: 25 Things not to do when Hermione Granger asks you to marry him
Special Thanks to my reviewers and Chicca, who helped me write this chappie!
I'm sorry guys, I seem to have lost you all when they deleted this. VV Well, they'll come still. I miss you all
Now on with this…uh…fic coughmonstrositycough.
Hermione: Oh look! An owl for me! It had best not be from Malfoy asking me out again! It's not…
So she began to read.
25 things not to do when Hermione Granger asks you to marry her
25. Call her a bookworm, then run away
24. In revenge, play ding dong ditch, at midnight...disrupt her studying...
23. Ask about Ron instead "Say, I thought you liked Ron...oh, he'll be overjoyed at the news! Let me just skip along and tell him."
22. Collapse into hysterical laughter at the mere thought of marrying a nerd (no offense to Hermione lovers, I'm one myself...but let's face reality...she's a nerd.)
21. Say "I wouldn't marry anyone with as bad taste in animals as youcoughcrookshankscough"
20. Say "You obviously don't have xenophobia…a fear of strangers because you don't even know my name!"
19. Ask her where she got a wig that ugly. Then state you don't want to marry anyone that insecure about their baldness.
18. Say something about how hanging around Harry Potter affected her in a negative way
17. State everything you know about her personal life…after all who wants to marry a stalker?
16. On the other hand, call her a stalker, just to tick her off.
15. Hand her a brush and a lot of conditioner as your answer.
14. Ask her if that's how she was going to wear her hair at the wedding.
13. Ask her a bunch of really stupid questions to get off the topic, like: If you're so smart, Then answer this: If Teflon doesn't stick to anything, how does Teflon stick to the pan?
12. Hex her. She is the best witch of our generation…does this sound like a good idea?
11. Tell her "Go marry Ron, or Snape, but don't ask me again!"
10. Laugh at the disgusted look on her face when you tell her this.
9. Ask her if it's from Kay's, because "every kiss begins with Kay"
8. Don't kiss her if it's not.
7. Throw Crookshanks out the window as revenge, and then laugh at the look on her face.
6. Back away slowly.
5. Watch her have a synaptic breakdown when you say no, and don't comfort her
4. Comfort her by saying, oh, I'm sure Ron will say yes, why don't you go ask him?
3. Spit on her, after all, who likes to be spit on?
2. Go up to Ron and go "Hermione likes me more, Hermione likes me more"
And the number 1 thing not to do when Hermione asks you to marry her: "Oh Hermy, I didn't know you cared" in the most condescending voice you have.
Hermione: This is so wrong. I will kill whoever wrote this with the most painful curse I know. And I know a lot…
Author: Now how 'bout Snape and his detentions?