Disclaimer: FINE! I GIVE IN! IT'S MINE ALL MINE! Happy? Now you can sue me J.K. :Hides from lawyers: I don't own it!

A/N: I know I promised a Draco chapter, but I got very few reviews last chapter, and even fewer ideas. I need ideas for a chappie to get off the ground.

Percy Weasly was sitting at his desk, working, what else, when his owl, Hermes, came swooping into his office, with a piece of parchment tied to his leg. Percy figured it was some important letter, because he was, after all, Junior Assistant to the Minister. He unrolled it, only to be faced with an infamous list.

25 things not to do in a conversation with Percy Weasly

25. Call him Weatherby. That always pisses him off.

24. Ask him why he is the first Jr. Minister ever? Was he so stupid as to not be suspicious?

23. Ask him why he doesn't just get rid of those glasses and buy a new pair, because he is getting paid well, right? After all, he /is/ Jr. Assistant to the Minister.

22. Get him drunk and make him sing karaoke.

21. Insult his bosses (both) Say how one's an incompetent and the other had a raving lunatic for a son.

20. Say, "If you're SO smart, how come you're only JUNIOR Minister guy?"

19. Ask "Is this what all this studying got you? A loser job for a loser guy?"

18. Ask him what exactly he did with that dung sample...

17. Ask, Hey, aren't you the Weasly that ran away from home, and now if you step back in that house, they're going to kill you, because you're so annoying? And watch out for any frying pans!

16. Ask if he always quotes his bosses achievements, because he has none.

15. Force him to join S.P.E.W.

14. 14. Give him loads of paperwork smile sweetly and say "I know how much you love paperwork so I brought you some for your birthday." When he mentions it's not his birthday, glare at him and ask "So?"

13. Ask him why he's got to be such a suck up

12. Ask him who was the better boss: Insane Crouch or Dumbass Fudge

11. Poke him with your wand, then when he glares at you ask "What?"

10. Ask him if they modeled the really ugly mannequins in the Ministry after him, including their wardrobe.

9. Trick him into entering a "Catch the Greased Pig" contest.

8. Ask he needs someone to operate the computers. When he asks what they are, give him a funny look, and then ask "What, do you still use quills or something?"

7. Laugh when he says yes.

6. "Accidentally" Drop his inkwell on the rug in his office. When it all comes out, go "Oooooh. Look Percy! Pretty colors!"

5. Challenge him to a burping contest.

4. When he says no, prod him about not being man enough.

3. Then laugh hysterically at him when he loses.

2. Put him in a dragon costume and give him to Hagrid. When you give him to Hagrid, go "Hey, Hagrid, turns out the Ministry is breeding dragons as well! This is a particularly rare one called idiotus toius ministrius. It's a new breed."

And the number one thing not to do in a conversation with Percy is: Ask if he's ever been skinny dipping. And when he asks "What's that?" point and laugh hysterically

Percy stared at the paper, fuming. No way was this legal! He'd bring this to the Minister's attention, make no mistake! After he finished his paperwork that is…

Now, guys, please, R&R with your suggestions for a Draco or Fudge Chapter! I need encouragement!