Disclaimer: I don't own this, don't you get that by now?
People, anything you want, I shall try to write, but no ones suggested anything…
Firstly, like to thank Blooper Queen for helping me get this show on the road, and secondly, I'd like to thank Taurus 07 for the idea (yes, Taurus, more randomness off one idear) Thirdly, I know most of this would not be possible, but please people /fan FICTION/
Hagrid was picking up after the sixth years/again. / They were such slobs. And here was yet /another/ piece of parchment. This one had writing on it. Maybe he could hold this one for ransom… He, being Hagrid, wanted to know what it said. So he read it.
25 things not to do when faced with Dangerous Magical Creatures (This includes fan girls and Mary Sues)
Disclaimer: I take no liability for anything happening should you attempt anything on this list…
25. Kick it and run away screaming.
24. Say "I saw your mother the other day. She makes a fantastic rug"
23. Pet it. Just think of all the reasons they're called "Dangerous Creatures!"
22. Spank it. Didn't you just read the reasoning in the above answer?
21. Comment on why most of them are crossbreed of some kind, and how it wasn't too successful
20. Poke it with a stick.
19. Ask if it's a vegetarian.
18. Try to feed it broccoli while giving it the lecture on how too much red meat clogs the arteries, and doesn't have as many essential vitamins as veggies do.
17. Tell them to visit the dentist, and get some Listerine while they're at it, because boy does their breath stink!
16. Ask if it ever had any pets, or did it eat them before they left the pet shop?
15. Ask if it's been potty trained. If it is, take it home as a pet.
14. If it says no, take it home and attempt to teach it to use the potty.
13. Say, I know where you can get more tender meat.
12. Take them to the supermarket to prove your point.
11. Sing the Wanta Fanta? Song.
10. Make fun of it because you have opposable thumbs and it doesn't.
9. Teach it to fetch.
8. Sacrifice the person next to you, then run away
7. Give it a bath
6. Hit it with a slingshot.
5. Attempt to fence with it using a twig
4. Give it a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
3. Show them this list
2. Attempt all the things on this list.
And the number one thing? Drag it home to Hagrid, because then, most likely, you'll have to care for it in Care of Magical Creatures. (Unless it's a Mary Sue, or a raving fan girl. They go to the psycho ward.)
Hagrid thought to himself that maybe if the list wasn't so stupid, it would be a valuable learning experience. So he gave it to Dumbledore.
Now people, Dumbledore says REVIEW! Pretty pease? I have a cold and it would make me feel better!